Work Text:
I barely noticed the knock on my bedroom door, all my focus on carefully placing my action figures in place to simulate a battle.
Still standing outside my door, “hey Barley,” I heard Ian call out, my head whipped up, immediately telling him to come in. It’s not often he comes to my room for something. My brother opened the door slowly, standing in the doorway rather than walking in, “can I maybe, I mean, may I ask you something?” Even with me he can not help but stumble over his words sometimes.
I motioned for him to come in, with only slight hesitation he stepped all the way into the room, closing the door behind him. Though he still stood awkwardly in the middle of my bedroom, “I was just wondering, I was thinking well, have you noticed anything going on with Mom?” He let out a groan of frustration towards himself, “I mean, have you noticed her acting different lately?”
God I wish I could give him some confidence.
I nodded, “yeah she’s been going out a lot more lately, but she has seemed happier,” I agreed with him. Of course I’ve noticed, but I guess I haven’t given it as much mind as he has. Well at least, I’ve tried not to. The more I think about how gone she’s been only stresses me out, I thought after she broke up with Colt that she’d, I dunno mope?
Ian stepped closer, “that’s what I mean, isn’t it weird? I mean it’s not a big deal. Like not that being happy is weird, but like, I dunno…” I hate when he does this, when he’s finally about to open up to me, but then retreats and hides back in his shell. And no I’m not a hypocrite, I don’t open up to protect him, he doesn’t because he’s scared to. I’m not scared to be open, of course not, I’m never afraid. Obviously.
I stopped him before he could completely hide away, “no I get what you mean, I would think she would have stayed upset longer. Even though she dumped him, she still had really liked him.”
I never expected that after breaking up with a guy she had planned to marry that she’s be happier than ever afterwards. She’s so happy and we don’t even know why, her own sons don’t even know. It has to be more than just breaking up with Colt, right?
He came over and sat on my bed, “I know right! Do you think somethings going on, that we don’t know?” He's finally coming back out.
Well I can’t disappoint my brother when he’s come to me, “well if we both want to know, then let’s ask,” I decided. I just need to ignore the worry that I’ll just bother her and drive her further away, that I’ll just screw up not only mine and moms relationship, but Ian’s and hers too.
He stood up with me, “wait what?” I know him, he’ll try to stop me. But we should know, healthy families are built on communication and all that jazz. “No, Barley wait.” But I was already out the door.
“Mom!” I called out, only for her to call out a ‘yeah’ right from the kitchen. Though Ian was still telling me to wait, I continued. This is for the best after all, I know he won’t ask on his own. “Mom, we have something we want to ask.”
Ian quickly stepped in front of me, “no, no we don't,” he still tried to stop me, as if he wasn’t dying to know what’s been going on with mom too.
She stopped what she was doing, giving us that look, “what’s going on, boys?”
I gave my big confident smile, my best mask , “well that’s actually what we wanted to ask you,” I continued before Ian could interrupt me again, “you’ve been going out a lot more, and you’ve been way happier than we’ve seen you in months. We want to know what’s been going on,” I got to the point as simply and quickly as I could.
Of course Ian had to add on, “but it’s okay if you don’t wanna share. You can have your privacy, we’ve just felt out of the loop.”
She let out a heavy sigh, that can’t be a good sign , “I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you boys,” tell us what? “Let's sit down.” That’s really not a good sign.
Only after the three of us sat down on the couch in the living room did she begin, “well you boys are right, I have been happier lately than before,” she smiled at us, but that only eased a fraction of the worried tightness in my chest, “one of the reasons for that is that breaking up with Colt was the best thing for our family. Even though he made me happy, he wasn’t right for us as a whole.”
She finally realized how awful Colt was. Is it bad how relieved that made me?
Ian furrowed his eyebrows, “what do you mean?”
Her smile was gone, “I can’t be with someone who can’t accept my boys. Even though he cared about me, he didn’t care about you boys nearly as much as I needed him to. We’re a package deal,” a hint of a smile came back at the last part, before she continued on, “I should've never let myself stay with someone who openly didn’t care for you two, and I’m so sorry for that.”
Before either of us could assure her we aren’t mad at her, she kept going, “when you two went to go find your dad, seeing Colt’s frustration and seeing how he didn’t care what happened to you, that was the last straw.”
How did I never put together that she dumped him only days after Ian’s birthday? “So you’re happier because you’re not with him anymore?” I asked. There has to be more to it.
She nodded, “yes that’s a big reason, but the biggest reason is that I’ve actually started seeing someone,” she paused, waiting for our reaction.
I broke out in a huge smile, that’s the appropriate reaction right? “Mom that’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you!” I exclaimed, shoving down all my selfish feelings. It’s selfish to be disappointed, it’s selfish to wish she had stayed single longer. Her being happy is what’s most important, not finally having a chance to spend more time with her.
Her smile grew upon my reaction, before turning to Ian, who was still gaping at her. Ian’s never been a great actor, “I’m happy for you,” he forced a smile. He didn’t look exactly unhappy, more confused and caught off guard. “Do we know the guy you’re dating?”
“Well,” she drew out the word, “the thing is, it’s not a guy,” wait what? Since when does mom date people who aren’t guys? “Actually, I’ve been seeing Corey, the Manticore.”
My eyes widened so big I’m sure they were bugging out of my head, “oh my god, that’s so cool!” My excitement billowed out of me, “wow! I’m so happy for you! That’s the coolest thing ever!” And I meant it.
She laughed at my antics, once again, turning to her younger son. It’s like a cycle, he forces a smile and says he’s happy but he doesn’t exactly look happy. He kept opening and closing his mouth, about to say something but changing his mind, again and again until he finally got the courage to ask, “mom, I am happy for you, I just thought, well I guess I assumed…” he didn’t finish the question.
But he didn’t need to finish for us both to know what he was referring to, “I’ve actually been thinking a lot about my sexuality these last few months. And after a lot of research and thinking, and I have figured out I’m polysexual.”
I couldn’t help myself, I spoke up, “that's so great, mom! I’m so glad you could figure it out!”
Before either of them could respond though, mom was looking at her watch, “oh! I’m so sorry, I have to go. I have a date with Corey tonight,” I haven’t seen her beam that much in a long time, it’s a welcome sight. “I love you boys,” she called out before running out the door. And with that she was gone, it felt like it happened in a second.
As soon as the door was closed, I turned to my brother, “what’s going on?”
He tried to act surprised, “what? Nothing’s going on.”
I flung my arm around his shoulders, “I know you well enough, Ian, to know when something’s on your mind.”
He let out a sigh, knowing there’s no point in continuing to pretend, or try to , “I just, I never thought mom would… no that sounds bad, I’m sorry, I just, this was all so unexpected. It’s such a big change, I was just getting used to Colt being gone and now mom is already dating right away.”
It is a lot of change all at once.
I gave him a small grin, “I know change can be rough, but I think this is for the best. Mom is happy and we both already know Corey, you can’t deny how cool she is,” I nudged him at the last part.
Success! He gave me a soft smile back, “yeah she is kinda cool.” Kinda? How about completely?!
“And hey, whatever happens with mom and Corey, I’m still here for you,” though I said it casually, I hope he understood how seriously I meant it. It’s not like I can just not be there for my brother, especially with so many other changes going on.
His smile didn’t look forced this time, “yeah I know. Thank you, Bar.”
Sometimes, people just need a constant. And even if he doesn’t know it, I’d like to think he’s my constant too.