Barley Has Anxiety
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I should be used to it, I really should. It’s not like I don’t get called a ‘screw up’ all the time. At least it wasn’t Colt this time. It’s not like it really matters what Colt says, he’s not family. It’s not like mom or Ian would call me a screw up, even if they think it they would never say it. They wouldn’t right?
Series
- Part 1 of Barley Has Anxiety
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Looking around, I knew we were both thinking the same thing, yet it did not really sink in until Ian breathed out, “we’re back… home.”
I didn’t dare look at him, look at his disappointment that I may have led us astray. But this doesn’t make sense, this should be where the gem is at, I don’t get it.
“No, this doesn’t make sense,” I finally glanced up to my brother only to see his expected disappointment, I flit my eyes away and gestured for the path, “we took the Path of Peril!”
I kept my eyes away from my brother, pacing, we did everything right, how could this have gone so wrong? Trying to work out what we did aloud, “we followed the ravens, we went to the water,” I stilled. Unless we were never supposed to go to the water.
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Barleys POV from when Ian was yelling at him until they hug at the endSeries
- Part 2 of Barley Has Anxiety
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There’s no real reason for it, at least nothing worthy or valid enough, yet still my whole body shook as sob after stupid sob wrecked my body. Though I knew Mom is at work and Ian is at the library or whatever with his friends, on instinct I still covered my mouth to quiet the sounds.
I mean, I guess when you bottle everything up, eventually it has to come out eventually. I say that like this is abnormal, I guess I just hoped that after a while I wouldn’t need to explode, that I could just keep quietly imploding. If you don’t let some steam out of the kettle, the whistle will eventually break the silence.
Series
- Part 3 of Barley Has Anxiety
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All it took was another call complaining to Mom about me being in a ‘restricted’ area and god I screwed up again. As if that’s not all I ever do. After mom finished telling me how not okay it is for me to keep running off to places I should not be, she shockingly did not ground me. I guess she’s just too done with me to deal with the annoyance of making sure I stick to my grounding.
That’s all I ever do, annoy and disappoint. Wouldn’t they be so much happier if I ran off again and stayed away? Wouldn’t they be happier if I ran away?
Series
- Part 4 of Barley Has Anxiety
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I had the most epic idea for Mom but the problem is I know Ian will never agree. He never does. Well, at least he usually doesn’t.
I flew open Ian’s bedroom door, “I had the best gift idea for Mom!” I announced with pride.
He was scrunched over his desk, writing something, “Barley,” he sighed, “I’m just gonna make her a card, I’m already working on it. You can do what you want, let me do my own thing.”
Though he tried to dismiss me, I would not just quit so quickly, “You can make a card and do my idea! We should make her dinner!”
Series
- Part 5 of Barley Has Anxiety
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I motioned for him to come in, with only slight hesitation he stepped all the way into the room, closing the door behind him. Though he still stood awkwardly in the middle of my bedroom, “I was just wondering, I was thinking well, have you noticed anything going on with Mom?” He let out a groan of frustration towards himself, “I mean, have you noticed her acting different lately?”
God I wish I could give him some confidence.
I nodded, “yeah she’s been going out a lot more lately, but she has seemed happier,” I agreed with him. Of course I’ve noticed, but I guess I haven’t given it as much mind as he has. Well at least, I’ve tried not to. The more I think about how gone she’s been only stresses me out, I thought after she broke up with Colt that she’d, I dunno mope?
Series
- Part 4 of Somewhere Over The Rainbow
- Part 6 of Barley Has Anxiety
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Honey I thought you should know that I'm in a hurry
I've got to move up north, but it's just temporary
I really tried not to lie, but this burdens getting heavy
No, you can't come with me this time, you got your own destiny, yeahI’ve thought about it again and again and again what he might have said, if he would have had wisdom for me even though I was so young. Maybe he would have helped me understand, because as much as mom tried to I just never could understand. Why would my dad be taken away? Why wasn’t the medicine enough? Why did the doctors say it was too late? Why did I have to learn to be a dad when I myself barely even knew or remembered my dad enough to have an example of what to be?
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Or Barley reflecting back on his dads death and what he might have saidSeries
- Part 7 of Barley Has Anxiety
- Part 4 of Song In Your Heart