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You took the time to memorize me
My fears, my hopes, and dreams
I just like hanging out with you, all the time
All those times that you didn't leave, it's been occurring to me
I'd like to hang out with you, for my whole life
The first time David had a panic attack in front of Patrick was the night before the store first opened. They had been finishing up putting the products on the shelves and getting everything ready when the weight of what was happening just hit him. He leaned against the register counter and sunk to his knees before shoving his face in his hands and letting out a breathy sob.
“David?” Patrick came out of the back room and was confused to see an empty store. He turned the corner to see his business partner struggling to breathe and shaking while burying his face into his hands, knees drawn up to his chest. “Oh my god, David. Are you okay?”
Patrick rushed to the floor and reached out to touch David’s knee. He tried his best not to wince when the other man flinched away from the touch.
Patrick was starting to panic. He had never seen David like this and was unsure of what he needed to do to help his friend. Patrick decided to do the only thing he could think might help, he sang. Scooting over to sit as close as he could to David without touching him, he shakily started to sing the lyrics to one of David’s favorite songs. It was a song that David had mentioned he had listened to at particularly hard times.
“But when the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see
That I will be your remedy”
His eyes were trained on David as he sang, and he was happy to see as he let the words out that David’s breathing was starting to even out. He could feel the man next to him beginning to relax. This only made the lyrics come out even easier.
“When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see
That I will be, I will be your remedy”
He kept going until he finished the song and finally David lifted his head up to look at him. “How can I help, David?’
Through his puffy face and glossy eyes David just looked at him for a moment before returning his gaze to his hands. “Can you just-” He broke off, his voice cracking a small sob coming out. “Can you hug me?” He nodded, almost as if he was convincing himself that what he was saying was right or okay. “Yeah, I think I need a hug.”
Patrick grinned and scooted closer before wrapping both of his arms around David’s shoulders. Eventually Patrick would ask what happened, but right now he was content to just help David in any way he could.
Over time, David’s panic attacks became somewhat normal to Patrick. Sure, he always hated seeing the love of his life go through them, but he learned how to deal with them. He made sure to ask David what he should or shouldn’t do, even doing research online so he didn’t overwhelm David with too many questions. And David noticed.
After a particularly bad attack one day, David was lying in Patrick's bed watching his boyfriend work to fix them both some hot chocolate in the tiny apartment kitchen. Patrick smiled when he saw David just looking at him in awe. “What are you looking at?” He said jokingly, a grin plastered across his face.
David just shook his head and started playing with his rings. “You just always know exactly what to do when it happens.”
Patrick just stared at him with a fond expression. “We talked about this, David. It’s important for me to know how to help you through them, and plus, I want to know.”
David took a deep breath and nodded, his eyes still on his rings. “I know, I know. But you just ... you do it not because you have to, but because you care. You did all this research and asked me all these questions and just put so much effort into learning about how I react when this stuff happens…”
David looked up to see Patrick had moved to the foot of the bed with their mugs. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to someone caring as much as you do.”
That last sentence struck Patrick right in his heart. He walked around the bed, put the mugs on the table and went to pull David into a hug. “Well, you’d better get used to it, because I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.”
David let out a small laugh and pulled Patrick closer, “Thank you, and I’m glad. I don’t want to let you go either.” In that moment his brain added another word to that though, I don’t want to ever let you go .
Patrick’s face was in the crook of his shoulder but he felt him mumble, “I love you, David.”
He took advantage of their position and pressed a kiss to Patrick's hair, “I love you too.”