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Not so long ago, Anakin had wanted so badly to feel as though Obi-Wan needed him, wanted him around. He just wishes things hadn’t had to get so bad for that wish to be granted.
It isn’t that Obi-Wan has voiced that he wants him around, or asked him to stay. He wouldn’t. But Anakin can feel the way his former master reaches for him in the Force throughout the day, can feel the relief when he makes contact.
He’d shared the information with Master Che, who had made the decision that he’d remain with Obi-Wan in the temple. No active duty for either of them, though the council had protested that Anakin needed to be with the 501st. Master Che had won out. She always did.
Obi-Wan has always been a quiet man, but he’s quieter now. Subdued. Even less likely to ask for things now than he had been before, much to Anakin’s dismay. He’s tired, though they’re away from the front. Prone to falling asleep against Anakin’s shoulder, not that he minds.
How selfish is he that it feels good to be needed? That he manages to feel both wretched and better than he has in years when he feels Obi-Wan tentatively reaching out to him in the Force? His friend’s deteriorating mental state shouldn’t bring him any sense of relief. It’s wholly wrong.
And Obi-Wan won’t see the mind healers, turning a deaf ear to the council’s requests that he do so, despite his… despite what he had done. Anakin doesn’t like to put a name to it, stupid as that may be. Suicide. Obi-Wan had attempted suicide.
Anakin had almost lost him forever. Twice.
He is not sure if it’s by mere coincidence that Ahsoka makes her appearance then, or if she had sensed him beginning to spiral, but the door slides open and she steps inside, drawing him from his thoughts. She’s got bags in her arms, food by the look of it.
“I thought…” She trails off momentarily, taking in the scene before her. “I thought that Master Obi-Wan might like something from Dex’s,” she continues, softer this time. “I guess his can wait until he wakes up.”
Obi-Wan is passed out against Anakin’s shoulder where he’s been for the last hour, still and utterly at peace. When this had first begun, Anakin had thought it to be an accident. Obi-Wan had never indicated otherwise, and he’s always apologetic when he wakes, but he seems to sleep easier this way. Much better than he does in his own bed.
“Come on in.” Anakin shifts, intending to free his arm from its position around his master’s shoulders, but thinks better of it. He can manage one-handed. “We can eat while he naps. He won’t mind.”
Ahsoka joins him on his other side, catching sight of his predicament and unwrapping his nerf burger for him without prompting. “Is he any better?” she asks, soft.
An awkward half-shrug. “About the same,” he sighs, biting into the burger. “Still won’t see the mind healers, but he talks to me about it a little. Mostly late at night. But I’m not -- I don’t know how to make it better.”
Ahsoka doesn’t ask, but he continues, glancing down at Obi-Wan, though he can feel that their voices haven’t disturbed him. That’s worrying, too. Obi-Wan had once been a light sleeper.
“He thinks that…that what happened was his fault.” Another thing he doesn’t like to put words to. His near descent into darkness. “He won’t listen to me when I say it wasn’t.”
Not that that’s anything new. Obi-Wan never listens -- no. He has to catch the bitter thought, crush it. It isn’t fair. Not in the slightest.
He’s getting better at that.
Ahsoka touches his mech arm gently. “I wish I knew how to help. He won’t even consider seeing the mind healers?”
Anakin shakes his head, wiping crumbs on his pants. Obi-Wan would’ve complained about that, were he awake. His flesh arm tightens a little around his master, thumb rubbing over his shoulder gently. The gesture causes Obi-Wan to sigh in his sleep and melt a little closer against him, and something in Anakin’s chest eases drastically.
Most of the time he doesn’t feel like he’s much help at all, but his presence must be doing something.
“I was thinking maybe he’d like to see Cody,” his padawan comments, offering him a carton of tubers.
He shoots her a wary look as he accepts them, brows pulling together. “You think that’s a good idea? After what happened with the chips and all…”
“Yeah, I do.” Ahsoka crumples one of the bags, setting the other on the table for Obi-Wan, and stands to toss it in the wastebasket. “Cody needs to see that Master Obi-Wan doesn’t blame him for what happened, and Master Obi-Wan needs friends right now.”
A stupid, selfish part of him wants to argue that Obi-Wan has him, and that he doesn’t need to be crowded. The bigger, more rational part of him knows that Ahsoka is probably right. Cody’s presence has always done his master a world of good.
“Okay,” he sighs, relenting. “I’ll talk to Rex about it and see if he can get Cody to come here. I think Obi-Wan will be alright with the idea.”
Whatever Ahsoka had been about to say is lost beneath a strained whimper from the man in question, fingers scrabbling weaky at Anakin’s tunic. Anakin curses under his breath. He’s been getting better at monitoring, keeping the nightmares at bay. In his distraction, he’d managed to miss this one.
“Hey,” he murmurs, shifting on the couch to wrap his free arm around Obi-Wan as well, bringing his brother close to him. If he does this right, he can manage to dispel the nightmare without waking him, and spare Obi-Wan embarrassment and upset when he realizes Ahsoka is present.
Only days ago, he hadn’t had the slightest idea how to handle it. The nightmares are so frequent now that he often wonders just how much Obi-Wan had been having them before, how many he’d had to deal with alone.
“Hey, Master,” he says again, bringing his mech hand up to brush through red hair. Obi-Wan trembles slightly against him and Anakin makes a shushing sound, reaching out for their bond. It’s with great care that he wraps his own Force presence around Obi-Wan’s, enveloping him as completely as he can.
It always helps. Gradually, a sense of warmth and safety trickles across their bond as the trembling ceases and the nightmare fades. Anakin can’t help but smile a little, slowly resettling Obi-Wan against him. When he looks up at Ahsoka, her eyes are pained. This is her first time witnessing it.
He glances away, back to his master. “There you go,” he mumbles, relieved to see and sense that Obi-Wan is sleeping peacefully once more. He’d managed to take care of it quickly enough.
Anakin will find a way to fix all of this.
“Dream happy dreams, Master,” he says, layering the Force behind the words and hoping that Obi-Wan’s mind will bend to him. A moment later, the other man’s fingers grow lax against Anakin’s tunic as he drifts deeper into sleep.
He can fix this.
