Chapter Text
Amy Santiago is a hardworking and driven Detective; she takes her work very seriously. I guess that’s what happens when you grow up in a family with 7 brothers and always trying to beat the golden child and finally getting your picture up above the mantel. Amy is always trying to impress Holt in everything she does. But one of her biggest things is making sure nothing can distract her or get in the way of her dream to be the youngest N.Y.P.D Captain.
Her social status and the way that people see her, and their opinions matter a lot to Amy. She’s a perfectionist and always scared she’s going to give off the wrong impression the wrong person. After her recent self-evaluation, it was mentioned that this could be one of Amy’s worst flaws that got in her way of being true to herself and her feelings, but she denied it in every single possible way.
It was about 7 months ago when Jake had told Amy that he liked her, romantic stylez and all. He was just about to go undercover; it was only right that he told her how he felt about her. Still to this day Amy looks back and kicks herself for not saying anything back to Jake, yes she was in a relationship with Teddy at the time but it wasn’t going well, he was the most boring person she knew. For god’s sake, all he would talk about were those stupid Pilsners!
When Jake came back from his undercover mission Amy felt a weight lift off her shoulders that she didn’t even realise she was carrying for those long six months. Amy was still with Teddy when Jake came back, she didn’t even know why! For the past six months she wasn’t able to sleep, all she could think about was Jake. Was he okay? Was he hurt? Has his cover been blown? Has he met someone who wasn’t dodgy? Would he ever want to come back?
Amy had disregarded these absurd thoughts - that would keep her sleepless - as her just being worried about her work partner, her desk mate. But after Jake came back, she realised the real reason why.
She liked him too… Romantic Stylez and all.
Amy broke it off with Teddy soon after she realised her true feelings, she didn’t feel like a good person leading him on like that when she knew that deep down she wished Teddy was Jake. And when Jake got back from his six months in another life, they had gone down to the filing evidence to talk… alone.
***
“Hi,” Amy started. The ‘hi’ didn’t come out as casual as she had hoped, more like a nervous high-pitched squeak.
Jake chuckled under his breath, thoughts running through his head. So much left unsaid that night in the parking lot.
“Hey”
“So… was it successful?... The mission I mean. Was it as cool as you dreamt?!”
"I hope so, I mean it was pretty cool” Jake replied, getting really excited talking about his undercover mission.
The two of them stood there awkwardly, neither knew what to say. Amy looked up from the piece of lint she had been intently staring at, her eyes gazed over his face, she noticed the singular brown curl of hair that fell over his face as he looked down, the movement of his arm to stroke the other to give his hands something to do. She took him all in, she didn’t realise how much she missed him until he was standing right there in front of her.
Amy leaned against the shelving next to them and looked back down at the piece of lint, it was navy-blue in an oblong shape, it must’ve been from an N.Y.P.D shirt she thought to herself.
“Jake…” Amy started in a soft voice, slowly bringing her gaze up to look up at Jake.
Before Amy could continue, Jake’s lips met hers in a soft, cautious kiss. She was startled by the sudden movement that she took a slight step back unknowingly, Jake’s hand brushed past her hip and curled behind her back pulling her closer. Partially coming to terms with the fact that her mouth was interlocked with Jake Peralta’s, the man she had been spending every second of the past six months worrying about. She leaned in to close the small gap between them and kissed him back, feeling his body up against hers was a warm and comfortable feeling, something she could definitely get used to. She reached up to put her arms around his neck and softened into the kiss even more.
They slowly pulled away and rested their foreheads on one another. Jake was taking deep breaths in and out clearly astonished at his bold but careful ‘I’m back’ gesture. Amy’s heart was pounding loudly in her chest. She secretly hoped he couldn’t hear the loud ‘thwump thwump’ going a million miles per hour and all the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Amy looked up at him, his deep brown eyes were something she could easily drown in but then his soft brown curl fell onto his face. Slowly brushing it away with her hand she giggled, he looked so cute standing there, his arms still around her waist.
They suddenly get pulled back to reality when they hear Boyle come running down the hallway towards the evidence room yelling
“JAKEY JAKEY!!! WE’RE ALL HEADING TO SHAWS FOR SOME WELCOME BACK DRINKS!! COME QUICK WE DON’T WANT TO BE LATE!!”
Jake looks back at Amy with an eyebrow raised in question as if to say, ‘I’m sorry but I have to go, but I really wish I didn’t’.
Amy gave him a small nod telling him to go and that she would be there soon, she just had to finish paperwork from a case she had solved that day.
***
Amy had made her way to Shaw’s bar at 11pm, it was getting a bit late for her as she had a shift tomorrow, but she decided she just wouldn’t drink, and plus she had to talk to Jake.
It had taken her longer than usual to finish up her paperwork. She had a million thoughts rushing through her head.
I just kissed Jake Peralta,
THE Jake Peralta,
Like the Jake that sat opposite to her,
The one whom she shared a desk with,
The one who would bring her a coffee every morning,
The one who she worked with…
She worked with Jake
She can’t be in a relationship with someone she worked with…
***
“Hey there” Jake said with a tone Amy was slightly unfamiliar with, she had heard it a couple of times when he talked to Sophia over the phone.
Jake smoothly slid into the chair on the opposite side of the table to where Amy was sitting, glass of water in hand.
“Hi” she said back, not taking her eyes off the small shard of glass floating in her water.
“sooo…” Jake starts with a hint of playfulness in his voice. Amy was not looking forward to telling him what she was about to say.
Jake continues, obviously oblivious to Amy’s hand which is now shaking with nerves causing the water to spill over the edge of the cup
“we kis-“
“Jake” Amy abruptly cuts him off,
Jake who is now completely in the moment, looks at her with an eyebrow raised, his eyes are glistening in the low lighting of Shaw’s bar, Amy can see the nervousness through his deep brown eyes
“Look I like you Jake,” She gestures with her hand pointing back and forth between them.
“But this…” she sighs,
“You’re a great guy, truly, and honestly you’re way too good for me. I mean you just went on an undercover mission for the FBI! You won the bet to see who was the best detective, You notice things in cases no one else can, you work over and above to ensure that families can get the justice they deserve, when you get told no you don’t care because you know that the right thing to do is to do it the way you planned…”
“Ames, I’m confused”
Amy realises that she had been rambling. She hadn’t even gotten to the point yet! Oh god, this just proves that she should’ve written a speech or at least an outline for this… whatever you want to call it. But she didn’t have time, after all coming to Shaw’s was an impulse decision, exactly why she shouldn’t act on impulses. God she was learning new things today that’s for sure!
“I can’t do this-”, “I mean I can’t do us”
Jake looks at her in shock which quickly turns into confusion which quickly turns into nervousness.
“Did I do something; did I push a boundary?” Jake looks over her shoulder deep in thought,
“Shit, I kissed you at work,”
“We weren’t even together,” he continues at a fast pace
“There’s probably a rule against that, Ames you know all the rules, did I break one? Is that why you’re upset?”
“Jake calm down,”
Now it was Jakes turn to spiral, she didn’t expect him to act this way though, she was hoping for a simple ‘We can’t do this, we are work colleagues’ and then she wouldn’t have to deal with it even more than she already was in her head.
“Look I can’t do this, we work together, we work cases together. I don’t want any distractions and plus what would people think of us? Two cops dating, I don’t want people talking negatively behind my back, especially if I’m going to make captain one day. I need everyone’s respect.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Jake says staring intently at his beer in his hands. He’s afraid if he looks up at her the waterworks will come rushing down his face.
He hears a chair scrape across the ground. He looks up. She’s not sitting there. He looks around and spots her walking out of the bar without looking back. He wasn’t expecting her to though, that wasn’t what Amy Santiago would do. And that’s when the tears streamed down his face.
***
Amy closed the door behind her as she left the bar. If she had stayed there any longer, she would’ve done something she would regret, and plus, she couldn’t bare seeing Jake's face after she said what she did. But it was for the best she reminded herself. This way no one would talk about her and jeopardise her dream.