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"Don't tell me -- she does the Thighs of Death move too," Stark said, waving his glass of scotch so wildly Natasha had no idea how he wasn't painting the kitchen walls with its contents. It was galling to know she and Parker had been stopped so early in their approach by such a disorganized man, genius or not. She had professional standards and Stark seemed to take pleasure in failing every single one.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said in her best 'no comment' PA voice, and dunked a piece of strawberry Pop-Tart into her hot chocolate.
"I don't either, but Hardison says your AI is awesome and he wants to know if JARVIS can come out for playdates," Parker put in from her perch on top of the refrigerator.
"Hardison? Hardison?! That two-bit wannabe thinks he can make time with my creations? Why I oughta--"
Natasha told herself it would be cruel to laugh at Stark's indignation. If Pepper and Bruce liked him, he couldn't be all bad, and she didn't want Steve to be too disappointed in her. Then she paused, adjusted her mental Steve Rogers from his public image to the man she'd come to know and trust, and ran that thought back through her mind. Right, false alarm. She let her amusement show.
"Next time you wish to indulge, Miss Romanova, Miss Parker, please notify me in advance so I can keep matters between ourselves and leave Sir in peace," JARVIS said from the overhead speakers, interrupting his creator's rant.
"Yes, but then you'd know we were coming," Parker pointed out.
"I have full faith in your ability to overcome that handicap," JARVIS told her. "I do appreciate the workout you gave my tower's security systems tonight."
"Your tower? It's my tower! ...Partially my tower! Don't I get a vote?" Stark demanded.
"You remind me of my old boss. You should probably stop drinking so much. It wasn't good for him," Parker said. "Hey, Widow. Toss me a Pop-Tart."
Natasha tore open another pair of Pop-Tarts and began breaking them into quarters. "No," she said serenely. "You'll have to steal it for yourself."
Parker's unnerving smile spread across her face, and she launched herself off the refrigerator.
Stark fled the kitchen shortly thereafter.