Work Text:
Whiskey and Black Spice
"Uggggggh…what the hell? Who is that—Finn?"
"I think so. Not sure right now."
"What are you doing here?"
"I would ask you the same thing if I knew where I was."
"You're in my bed, pal."
"Maybe you're in mine."
"No, you're in—actually, I think we're on the Falcon. What the hell?"
"You said that already. My head is splitting, Poe, so if you're going to talk, at least don't repeat yourself so loudly."
"Sorry, buddy. My head is not so great either. What the hell did we do last night?"
"Maybe we're dying. They've quarantined us to save the fleet."
"Then we'd be in the medbay hooked up to all kinds of machines. Instead we're in bed on the Falcon and—shit! Where are my clothes?"
"Are they not on your body? Oh kriff, most of mine are gone, too. What the hell happened, Poe?"
"I have no idea, buddy. I don't remember a thing. Well, no, I remember Snap was there…"
"There's the answer, then. What happened? Snap Wexley. Asshole."
"Yeah, he's usually a much better wingman. Can't believe he'd let us do…whatever we did."
"Oh shit, you don't think we—you know?"
"Got drunk and slept together?"
"We clearly got drunk, but did we—? We are in the same bed."
"Er, well…I'm not sticky or sore, so I don't think so? How about you?"
"Sticky and sore? That's how you remember your liaisons?"
"I don't have liaisons, Finn. This isn't some Old Republic holodrama. Sex, yes. Liaisons, no. And drunk sex often means sticky and sore. At least for me."
"Oh, well. Not sticky and sore. Confused, though. I'm starting to remember going to a party in the main hold."
"Yeah, I think Snap wanted to celebrate my birthday."
"Wasn't your birthday last month?"
"It was when we were in Mos Espa. We spent the night in jail. Never thought I'd turn thirty-three in a cell. Almost like being twenty-five again."
"Yeah, you're such a boring grandpa now. So, if we celebrated your birthday last night, what did we celebrate with, exactly?"
"I vaguely remember a very large, very expensive bottle of Corellian whiskey. And a jar of cherries."
"Oh shit, I remember the cherries. Jess was there. She did something with the cherries."
"She always does weird stuff with fruit. Do you have a sort of burnt nutty taste on the back of your teeth?"
"Yeah, I do. It's disgusting."
"I think that's black spice. So, black spice and whiskey is why we are here. And black spice is Iolo's favorite, so we can blame him and Snap."
"And Jess with the cherries."
"I can't believe they'd let us go so far. I mean, we're flying out tomorrow to Sinta Glacier!"
"And we're not gonna be ready by then?"
"Do you want to get up any time in the next week, pal?"
"I don't want to move for at least a month."
"I really gotta piss, though."
"Me too. You can go first. I'll, uh, wait a bit."
"Why? Don't think you can make it that far, buddy?"
"Don't think I can walk comfortably. Especially without my pants."
"Without—oh. Are you—?"
"We're not talking about this. It is first thing in the morning, after all. And I am a grown man."
"So, hangovers don't keep you down, huh?"
"Apparently not. I haven't had enough hangovers to say. Or woken up in bed with someone the next day."
"Well, take care of it, then."
"Right here? Right now?"
"Kriff, no! Uh…I'll go to the fresher and take care of my own problem and you can take care of yours, how about that?"
"Oh, you too?"
"I'm in bed with a good-looking guy. Of course I'm hard."
"You think I'm good-looking?"
"Most of the Resistance thinks you're hot, Finn, even the species that aren't attracted to humans."
"Huh."
"So I'm going to roll off my side of the bed, find my pants, and hobble out. And we'll never talk about this again. Sound like a plan?"
"We could always help each other out, I suppose."
"We could—wait, what? Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"
"Are you saying you haven't ever thought about it? You just said I was hot."
"I said you're a good-looking guy. The rest of the Resistance thinks you're hot."
"Most of the Resistance thinks Poe Dameron is hot, too. And I think you're not bad."
"Not bad? If that was an invitation to help you out, you really have to work on your pickup lines, pal."
"I'm not trying to pick you up. You're already in bed with me, after all."
"And still wondering how that happened."
"Whiskey and black spice. But maybe it happened for a reason."
"Oh, there's no doubt Snap and Jess dumped us here for a reason. They've been—never mind."
"They've been trying to get us to hook up for the last three months, I know."
"You noticed, too?"
"Iolo once spent twenty minutes telling me about all your conquests at the Academy."
"Conquests? I didn't have conquests."
"Snap said there's a trail of broken hearts across six star systems. And Jess said your hair is the softest, sexiest hair she's ever touched, even if it was full of blood and dirt at the time."
"My friends are all a bunch of assholes."
"They really are."
"And they're making shit up. I did not sleep around the Academy, and that trail of broken hearts is one person in one system—me. So don't let them ruin my good name."
"Poe Dameron, Resistance posterboy?"
"I hate Jess for that."
"She gave me a framed copy, you know."
"I'm going to make her captain of the biggest transport scow I can find and put her on latrine duty for a month."
"It's a good look."
"Finn, it looks nothing like me. I freely admit it—I'm not built like that, I'm a pilot!"
"Well, your real look is good, too."
"Are you—you are not looking at me right now!"
"Sure I am. We're both laying here suffering, why not do something about it?"
"Because…um…Finn, seriously? You're one my best friends."
"And you're one of my best friends."
"Then maybe we shouldn't ruin that. We already live together, work together—we even fly and fight together!"
"We do. So what?"
"You're serious?"
"If we kissed right now, would that ruin anything?"
"Shit, Finn, how am I supposed to answer that? If I say yes, if you say no—if you say no, and I say yes? We should get up and forget this ever happened."
"First of all, I'm not ready to get up. Second of all, I don't want to forget it. I want to sort it."
"Sort what? Your morning issue? 'Cause I can leave—"
"Poe. If I promised you nothing would ruin our friendship, even that, what would you say?"
"I still wouldn't answer, because I couldn't pretend that nothing had changed."
"What if we had the same answer?"
"I don't think we do, buddy. I wish we did, but I don't think we do."
"My answer would be yes."
"Yes, it would ruin our friendship? See, you made my point."
"No, my answer is just…yes."
"Yes…to what?"
"And I think your answer is yes, too."
"Finn, we—"
"Should do this."
"Yes. No! I want—"
"To do this. You want to say yes."
"Oh hell—you're right, I do! But I can't—we can't! Not now, in the middle of a war—"
"If not now, when? Poe, I'm going to kiss you."
"Are you still drunk? Finn, buddy, I've thought about this so many times, but I always pictured it after we won! After we made the galaxy a better place and could stop fighting, settle down, live a normal life."
"Yes."
"Yes to what?"
"Yes to all of that. Only maybe we shouldn't wait that long. If one of us doesn't make it, we'd never have the chance to even try. I want to try."
"You're definitely still drunk, then."
"I don't think so. I know what I want, and I feel like we have an opportunity here, so I'm taking it. No regrets."
"No regrets? Finn, what about . . . mmmm, oh. Oh."
"Want to change your answer?"
"No. Yes. I'm changing my answer to yes. Do that again."
"Hmm, my pleasure."
"Mine too. You sure you won't hate me in the morning?"
"It is morning, and I could never hate you."
"Then you don't know me well enough. But Finn?"
"Hmmmm?"
"I'm all in. Just so you know."
"Me too. And maybe someday, you'll really be all in."
"Do you mean—"
"I do."
"Shit. Kiss me again."
"Think this is what they wanted when they dumped us in here?"
"Of course it is. Which is exactly why we don't give them the satisfaction of knowing it worked. Deal?"
"Couldn't agree more. Oh, do that again. And that."
"Should we lock the door?"
"Lock the door. It's time for a new mission."
"Seriously, Finn. Work on your lines."
"They worked on you."
"Yes, they did. From the very beginning. Lock the door. We're gonna do this."
* * *