Chapter Text
Don Giovanna added Bucciarati, Abbacchio, Mista, Narancia, Fugo, Trish, Risotto, Prosciutto, Formaggio, Illuso, Melone, Ghiaccio, Pesci, Sorbet, Gelato, Squalo, Tiziano, Cioccolata, Secco, Carne, and Doppio
Don Giovanna: Hello everyone
Squalo: wtf is this
Bucciarati: Hello..?
Abbacchio: why
Risotto: Hello, Don Giovanna.
Formaggio: Ooooh shit whaddup
Narancia: YOOOOOOO
Secco: FUCKING WHAT
Don Giovanna: Can everyone please settle down so I can maybe explain what this is for?
Tiziano: no ❤️
Abbacchio: tf are you, a teacher at a school assembly?
Don Giovanna: @everyone
Abbacchio: oh my god
Mista: Ping
Mista: oh shit what?
Ghiaccio: WHO PINGED @/EVERYONE
Doppio: uhhh...what?
Fugo: I have been summoned, but at what cost
Pesci: Uhh... (*´ー｀*)
Carne: …
Abbacchio: you made a big mistake
Sorbet: why the fuck, notif?
Gelato: yeah it ruins the mood
Prosciutto: Thank you for interrupting Sorbet and Gelato’s makeout session, it was too loud
Illuso: ^^^
Sorbet: ok boomer
Prosciutto: EXCUSE YOU
Trish: new groupchat why
Prosciutto: I AM NOT A BOOMER
Cioccolata: What the fuck is happening here?
Melone: Ooh a new gc, I see~
Risotto: NO FEET PICS.
Prosciutto: NO FEET PICS
Ghiaccio: NO FEET PICS
Cioccolata: Yes feet pics~
Abbacchio: congrats brat, you obviously have no idea how much power the @/everyone holds
Don Giovanna: I see that now, thanks
Don Giovanna: But can everyone please settle down
Narancia: HI EVERYONE
Bucciarati: Narancia.
Narancia: Sorry
Don Giovanna: ...Okay, well, as I was saying, I’d like to explain why I made this groupchat
Don Giovanna: The times are changing, and so should we. We need to be able to communicate with each other faster than through email. Not only that, I’ve noticed our past squabbles have been keeping us from getting along. I think a groupchat is a good start at making amends
Abbacchio: …
Abbacchio: pfffft
Abbacchio: you really think this is some kindergarten bullshit where if we all get to know each other we’ll get along and we can all be happy? this is the mafia
Risotto: I agree. We’re all hardened mafiosi, we don’t need to strengthen bonds with people outside our subgroups.
Bucciarati: I think Giorno has a point. In order for Passione to truly become strong, we need unity within the ranks, and that includes unity between subgroups
Abbacchio: i agree with bruno
Mista: but you just
Narancia: BUT
Narancia: YOU SAID
Don Giovanna: ...Okay, ignoring that,
Don Giovanna: This groupchat will be for work-related matters and team-building exercises ONLY
Toe Sucker: Too late
Risotto: MELONE.
Cioccolata: Oh that’s Melone? I think we’d get along swimmingly~
Tiziano: i’m not even gonna question it at this point
Narancia: YOOOOO WE HAVE NICKNAME PRIVELIGES?
Fugo: Privileges*
Ghiaccio: IT’S SPELLED “PRIVILEGES” YOU PRICK
Narancia: WAIT WHY CAN’T I CHANGE MY NICKNAME
Don Giovanna: I removed nickname privileges
Narancia: NOOOOOOOOOOO
Formaggio: BUZZKILL. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CHANGE MINE
Melone: Man,
Toe Sucker #2: Fuck
Illuso: BAHAHAHA WHO IS THAT
Squalo: CIOCCOLATA??!?!
Secco: CIOCCOLATAAAAAAAA WHO’S TOES ARE YOU SUCKING??? THEY BETTER BE MINE!!!!
Fugo: Whose*
Toe Sucker #2: I CAN’T CHANGE IT BACK. FUCK.
Ghiaccio: IT SHOULD BE “WHOSE TOES” YOU FUCKING DOG
Tiziano: I’M DYING I CAN’T SKANKAJAOAJAKJS
Squalo: WHY DID YOU CHANGE IT TO THAT IF YOU DON’T WANT IT DDHFJDHDJHDJFHJDHD
Toe Sucker #2: I WAS SUPPOSED TO MATCH WITH MELONE FOR A WHILE THEN CHANGE BACK
Toe Sucker #2: I CAN’T HAVE THIS AS MY PERMANENT NICKNAME
Toe Sucker #2: DON GIOVANNA. PLEASE. I’M SORRY I KILLED ALL THOSE INNOCENT PEOPLE.
Don Giovanna: Well since you hate it so much, I think I’ll let you keep it
Toe Sucker #2: I hate everything.
Melone: OH SO HE GETS TO BE TOE SUCKER #2 BUT I’M JUST MELONE
Don Giovanna: I guess I’ll leave you here. I have work to do
Bucciarati: I also have paperwork to do. Have fun, everyone! And please, try to remain civil
Abbacchio: yeah i think everyone has work, dipshit. it’s a thursday
Abbacchio: FUCK
Bucciarati: Did you just...call me a dipshit?
Trish: rip
Mista: LMAO
Abbacchio: I’M SO SORRY BUCCIARATI
Narancia: OOOOOOOOOOO SHIT
Fugo: I can’t believe he killed himself just like that
Abbacchio: THAT WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU
Formaggio: Things heating up in Bucciarati’s gang I see
Narancia: LMAOAOOAAO
Bucciarati: I’m only joking! Dw, dw. Anyway, bye for real 👋
Abbacchio: oh thank fuck
Mista: HOW’D IT FEEL TO GET OWNED
Mista: why won’t he respond
Trish: i think he left lol
Trish: anyway im leaving too
Fugo: You don’t even work here?
Trish: i never said i was leaving to do work lol bye
Illuso: Wait if she doesn’t work here why’s she here
Fugo: Daughter privileges
Mista: Daughter privileges
Narancia: Daughter privileges
Fugo: I’m leaving too. I have a mission in like 5 minutes
Illuso: Same
Formaggio: Same (2)
Doppio: Ok so what do we do now that ppl are leaving :/
Risotto: Wait.
Doppio: ? Wait for what?
Risotto: Doppio...the name sounds familiar.
Doppio: Oh right I killed you lol
Prosciutto: YOU WHAT
Risotto: YOU
Risotto: YOU WERE THAT PINK TWINK.
Doppio: AND YOU’RE THAT EDGY EMO DOUCHEBAG, WHAT ELSE IS NEW?!
Narancia: OOOOO SHIT I SHOULD PROBABLY LEAVE LMAO
Risotto: NO, YOU STAY HERE.
Risotto: I REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.
Risotto: I WAS ABOUT TO KILL YOU.
Doppio: BUT YOU DIDN’T LMAO!
Risotto: THEN NARANCIA RUINED EVERYTHING.
Narancia: I ALREADY APOLOGIZED!!!!
Doppio: SUCK IT, ASSHOLE!! I BEAT YOUR ASS INTO THE CONCRETE!
Risotto: LISTEN UP, BITCH BOY.
Doppio: I’M LISTENING
Doppio: WAIT SHIT
Doppio: I’M NOT A BITCH BOY
Toe Sucker #2: LMAO DOPPIO RESPONDED TO BITCH BOY
Tiziano: strong words from Toe Sucker #2
Toe Sucker #2: SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH
Risotto: HOW ABOUT WE HAVE A REMATCH.
Doppio: TIME AND PLACE. I’LL BE THERE.
Narancia: WAIT IS THIS A REMATCH TO THE DEATH??????
Risotto: YES.
Doppio: YES.
Narancia: @Don Giovanna HELP
Doppio: FUCK
Don Giovanna: No rematches to the death. Unless you want to die an infinite amount of times with my GER
Risotto: I apologize, Don Giovanna.
Doppio: Can we at least have a rematch to the almost death and then you can heal us?
Don Giovanna: …
Don Giovanna: I’ll allow it.
Doppio: YES.
Risotto: Thank you, Don Giovanna.
Don Giovanna: I’ll have to be there, though. Next week, Saturday, 3 pm, in the alley behind Libeccio.
Don Giovanna: Goodbye
Risotto: ...Is he gone.
Narancia: WELL HE WENT OFFLINE SO PROBABLY LOL
Risotto: IT’S ON, DOPPIO. YOU HAVE 10 DAYS TO PREPARE. I’LL JAM YOUR LITTLE FROGGY PHONE RIGHT DOWN YOUR THROAT.
Pesci: Hey guys, just got back! How’s the groupchat? (^O^)
Doppio: OH YEAH?? I’LL TAKE YOUR RAZOR BLADES AND SHOVE EM SO FAR UP YOUR ASSHOLE YOU’LL BE FEELING THEM IN YOUR THROAT FOR MONTHS
Pesci: Maybe I shouldn’t have come back (*´-`)