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When Mac first met James after all those years he didn’t have time to panic. Between the bomb, gunshots, being chased, and being kidnapped, he was full of adrenaline and only focused on surviving.
But when everything was over, that’s when the panic filled him up. He had wanted to find James to demand answers on why he had left. Mac thought that James had been involved in some sort of criminal activity and that’s why he had left, but he hadn’t expected this.
Working for his father was pretty much his worst nightmare come true. And no one knew about what kind of a father James had been. He had kept that secret that James demanded of him when he was young.
He regrets that now. If he had just told someone, maybe they wouldn’t be expecting him to be glad that James was here.
So he runs. As far away as he could get. Nigeria was a nice place to live. It was relaxing and he still got to help people.
It hurt him not to talk to Jack or Bozer or Riley, but he can’t face them and explain why he left and why he wanted to get away from James ignoring the voice in the back of his head saying that he did the same thing James did to him as a child.
The everything shatters when James showed up. He wasn’t surprised that James knew how to find him, but he had hoped he was hidden well enough.
He wants to tell James to leave and refuse to go with him, but it’s Jack. He can’t abandon Jack or refuse to help him. He tells himself that it’s just one mission. He just has to help Jack and then he can leave.
But that doesn’t happen. Murdoc comes back and kills Jill and he knows he can’t leave until he catches Murdoc.
He enjoys working with the team again. And he missed them all so much. So even after Murdoc is caught he stays.
He avoids James as much as he can and sticks to staying professional. Riley tries to get him to meet with James, but Mac knows she’s drawing on her own experiences with Jack and Elwood.
He finally gives in and decides to meet with James once. Just to tell him that he’ll work for James, but he doesn’t want any relationship between them besides that.
But when he gets there, he can’t bring himself to say that. His hands are shaking, and he’s scared. He knew he should have just stayed away.
James is harsh and angry, and Mac considers running again, but he remembers all the good times he’s had with the team and how many times he’s already helped so many people just by working for Phoenix.
It would be selfish for him to ruin all that just because of James. So he stays.
He regrets that decision almost every day. James is harsh with him no matter how well he performs. He always yells and screams, pushes and shoves until Mac is shaking and stuttering. But he can endure it.
James has cancer. He can’t cut ties with him after everyone knows that, they would ask too many questions.
And then Jack leaves. Mac cries for days. Jack promised him he would never leave him, but he should’ve known he wouldn’t keep the promise. Everyone gets tired of him eventually and leaves. Except Bozer, Bozer would never leave him.
Then Charlie dies because of him and he finally has an excuse to get away from James. Those few months are some of the best and worst months of his life.
He’s away from James, not having to deal with his screaming, painful words, and harsh grips. But at the same time he’s away from Riley, Bozer, Matty, and Desi. He’s never felt so lonely before.
And he’s constantly worrying about the lack of contact from Jack. He doesn’t know if it’s because Jack hates him or because something is wrong.
Russ Taylor bringing Phoenix back together because of Codex brings a whirlwind back through his life. Everything he thought about his life was wrong.
James is angrier than usual at the fact that he’s been avoiding him. Every time he tries to ask for answers, it dissolves into a one-sided yelling match with James holding him against the wall often leaving bruises on his shoulders and arms.
If he grips Mac’s face, he makes sure to never leave a mark.
Codex kidnaps them and they leave with Mason dead, setting off an explosion to try and take out the people who shot him.
After that, nothing changes. They continue trying to find Codex and James continues the screaming matches. No matter what he does, he can’t get away from James. Nothing ever changes.