Chapter Text
Joshua Freeman was six years old when he learned two things.
The first being things can change. He knew that in smaller ways beforehand, of course. He knew the seasons changed, from autumn to winter and so on. He knew the weather changed, too. On some days it was rainy, on others it was sunny. He also knew that there were animals that changed colors, people who changed their minds, a moon that changed phases, etc. He understood the concept of change in a very childish sense of the word- of course he did, though. That’s what he was. A child. The more youthful understanding of “change” is all he needed to know then. This understanding, however, would be quickly replaced with something much...larger. He learned that your family can change. Your home can change. The people you see everyday can change. Your life can change. Perhaps this was something nobody his age should understand. Though, that’s another thing that’s always changing. The things we do and don’t understand.
The second thing he learned was this:
His father is never coming home.
Gordon Freeman- from what Joshua has been told about him, that is- was an upstanding employee at the Black Mesa Research Facility. An up and coming theoretical physicist younger than most in his field, Gordon had proposed a study in which he himself would be at the center of the experiment. An experiment that, ultimately, would lead to his downfall.
An experiment that, in the end, meant Joshua would never see his father again.
Joshua Freeman is ten years old when he learns one thing:
Family is a little weird sometimes. Most of his peers at school spoke about having two parents, some combination of mothers and fathers. Joshua didn’t have that. His father had been gone for four years now and, at this point, he hardly remembered him. His other parent he never met, and Gordon had rarely spoken of them. He’s not even sure what they looked like, beyond that maybe they could’ve had blue eyes just like him. But no, Joshua doesn’t have a traditional family. Technically he has three parents. Technically. Only two of them are dating, and they’re old enough to be his grandparents.
Their names are Coomer and Bubby- though he tends to call them some variations of “pops” and “pa.” From what he knew, Coomer was his father’s mentor back in Black Mesa, and Bubby hadn’t met him until the day of the experiment. Coomer talks about Gordon the most, too. Well, aside from Tommy. Tommy was....Well, like a weird uncle to him. And he means “weird” in the most endearing manner possible. Most of the people in this house are a tad cryptic, but Tommy even moreso. Joshua swears he’s seen his eyes glow in the dark, back when the three of them used to tuck him into bed. Also, he has a dog! So that’s a pretty nice bonus!
Apparently, they’d all taken him under his wing after his father didn’t return from Black Mesa. They didn’t even know him. His dad had mentioned him throughout their journey, and that was the extent of what they knew. That he was Gordon’s.
And that’s all they needed to know. That’s why they chose to look after him.
Joshua had a very...strange family dynamic, but he loved them all the same.
Joshua Freeman is thirteen years old when he learns a new name.
Tommy’s the one who says it- “Benrey.”
It almost makes him laugh, it sounds so...ridiculous, especially with the amount of caution Tommy says it with. It becomes a lot less funny when Bubby and Coomer are quick to silence Tommy. Bubby gives a more harsh hush, Coomer on the other hand...just. Blankly stares. Whatever is hidden in that stare, though, is enough to get Tommy to be quiet. Joshua, ever the nosy teenager, is quick to question who or what “Benrey” is.
He’s met with silence, followed by the promise of “We’ll tell you when you’re older.”
Joshua Freeman was fifteen years old when he learned the truth.
Or, the extent of what his family knows, anyhow.
The Black Mesa Incident occurred on March 6th, 2020. Gordon Freeman had been in charge of the examination of anomalous materials anonymously donated to Black Mesa. All he had to do was push a sample into a laser- that was it. Nothing should’ve happened beyond a few changes in the sample, if they were lucky. Instead they got something...much worse. Something much more disastrous.
After the Resonance Cascade, Joshua’s father teamed up with Tommy, Bubby, and Coomer to escape the walls of Black Mesa. They faced horrors beyond their comprehension- raids by the military, an onslaught of alien lifeforms, and at times even each other. Joshua hardly believed this was true until Coomer had taken to showing off one of the “ropes” he had kept from their journey. Despite all of their hardships, they were determined to make it home. Gordon was determined to see his son again.
But that wouldn’t happen, though.
Because on March 13th, 2020- a week after the Resonance Cascade- Gordon Freeman disappeared.
Nobody knew what had happened to him. Tommy described it as though he was...there one minute and gone the next. They were preparing to jump through a portal to an alien world they’d dubbed as Xen, and when they came through the portal...He wasn’t there.
He’d jumped through with them. They knew he had. They searched far and wide for him in this alien world, too. Their search ultimately proved futile.
Gordon Freeman had disappeared from right out under their noses.
And Joshua Freeman would never see his father again.
Joshua Freeman is eighteen years old when he makes a decision.
At this point, he’s grown up hearing stories about his father, a figure in his life he only has vague memories of. Coomer tells him that Gordon was one of the most brilliant young men to ever walk through the walls of Black Mesa. Tommy focuses more on Gordon’s brighter qualities, how easy it was to make him laugh, his leadership skills, how caring he was towards the team. Coomer took to bragging about Gordon’s abilities in battle- especially after gaining what Coomer referred to as his “minigun arm.” Bubby, on the other hand, was a lot more blunt. Not in a cruel way, of course. The way Bubby describes Gordon’s irritability is said in a manner that almost sounds affectionate. Bubby’s good at that, saying he cares without actually saying it.
It paints a picture of the father Joshua never knew. It’s not a perfect portrait by any means, and it’s still one that's rather...blurry.
There are things the science team still aren’t telling him. He knows that for a fact. They still become anxious when Joshua asks who Benrey is. When he questions how exactly Gordon ended up with a “minigun arm.” When he asks what’s the last thing Gordon said to them.
On his eighteenth birthday, Joshua Freeman makes a decision.
He’s going to find out what happened to his father. No matter what it takes.