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The fountain pen scratched on the parchment and the ink burrowed in the fibers. The man paused his writing as he hesitated. The next thought wrangled in his mind.
The freshly found scrolls on Tython held more than what was written. For her, all texts carried layers of hidden information. Like snapshots of the moments surrounding their inception.
She spent the better part of the morning studying. Hunched over the desk, driven with sheer excitement from the discovery, she connected the new and the old, while keeping notes. At the same time, she prepared for next week’s seminars at the Temple. She’d gotten involved with the theoretical classes, giving her more opportunities to use her rare Force translating skills.
Being most of the time outdoors, and often off-world, her home was her refuge. Bright and airy, it was filled with the items she loved. It wasn’t just a place; it was a feeling. A nest for those she cared about. When she first saw the unit, she thought it was maybe excessive, but she had come to appreciate the small amount of luxury, and security, it provided. The years passed, and the furniture they selected had added warm, earthy tones in textured layers against a luminous backdrop of ecru walls and blonde wood floors. Yeah, it was too much, considering her upbringing, but it didn’t feel odd anymore. She deserved it. She exceled in her many roles, as teacher and mentor, advisor, and when needed, warrior. Not to mention the one she found the most demanding of all, being a mother.
From under the cabinets warm light bathed the counters, strong enough to see where she was cutting, adequately soft to calm her inner thoughts. She was preparing the vegetables for the salad, immersing in an activity that helped her focus on less challenging matters. This wasn’t her dominion. In her home, she thankfully had help, both from professionals and her family. She liked cooking, but lately she had been negligent of the sport, things had changed spots, and she embarked on a short scavenger hunt. The moment of victory came when she finally found her cutting board. She favored this piece made of Wroshyr-wood that Chewie brought from Kashyyk some time ago. It was tough to break, didn’t splinter and it contrasted beautifully with the marble-covered island.
It was more than coincidence, her daughter appearing in the hallway literally seconds after she thought of her. They shared too much of a bond to ignore it.
Her daughter.
She let the knife down, her chest filling with pride. The young woman, already her height, was a skilled Jedi apprentice, mathematically inclined, and favored the study of people. That is, she loved to socialize. Rey never paused to think about what was happening to her when she was a teenager, having to survive the harsh Jakku desert. Back then, her focus was to find something to barter with, even if that meant to work all day, or she’d sleep hungry. But with Ren, she got to live all the joys of adolescence, the fights, the challenges. And all the love.
She looked at her with a smile, wanting to talk, trying to make her stop for a minute to ask her about tonight. Something was making her uneasy. Ren smiled back, turned and continued all the way to the exit. Rey sighed and got back to cutting but she realized the door hadn’t opened. She could feel her daughter thinking about it. Seconds later, Ren appeared in the kitchen, propped her stuff on the edge of the island and leaned on it.
“I know. I am not going to be too late. I will be safe. I promise. Ok?” She asked smiling, confident, raising her chin slightly with a little shake of her hair. The way someone else she loved did.
“When is it not too late? Ten? Twelve?”
“Mom, ten? Ten is for kids, please. I am sixteen, and my next birthday is coming up soon.”
“So, it’s twelve.”
“Mom! Oh my …why do you do this? Why are you so hard on trying to ruin my fun?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest, sure sign she was not giving up on this.
“You don’t want a fixed time to be back, is that what you mean?”
The young woman pursed her lips.
Rey sighed. “Ren’aalda?” she asked half-imploring, half-demanding. “Please tell me, I have to know.”
Somewhere deep inside her feelings, she recognized her mother’s worry. She let go of the mad, but not before she sighed and rolled her eyes a few times.
“I am going to be ok, for real. I have my friends, and you put a security detail on me. Those agents are no joke to mess with.” It was true, they were formidable warriors and they had agreed to help out Rey, knowing the history of her daughter’s heritage and the undeniable fact nobody could ever ignore the Dark side’s ability to conjure new pain.
Ren’aalda had shown her abilities in the Force early, when she was a toddler. She moved things around, messing with the nannies that helped them on trips. She was lucky she was so cute, with her dark locks and beautiful hazel eyes. Ever since she was an infant, she had this uncanny ability to stare deep inside your eyes and hold your gaze. It was as if she could find the deep core of your soul. She was doing it right now, but all she could find was love. Ren walked around the island and stopped right next to her mom. A bright smile reached her eyes.
Rey wiped her hands clean and hugged her. She noticed she was already a bit taller than her. She would probably grow close to her father’s height.
Tears welled in her eyes.
Ren hugged her back, feeling it all through their bond. “Mom, I am not going to war, just to a club, and then food. Or something. We might just hang out by the docks. They have a bit of racing happening there at night.” That glee meant she would partake.
“Yeah, that sounds very safe.” Rey chuckled, but she cherished the feeling. Honesty and confidence.
“You have to trust me; I know what I am doing.” Her daughter took half step back and looked her in the eye.
“I know you do. And I know, how capable you are.” Rey paused for a minute. A wrinkle from worrying had long been established on her forehead. “It’s not you I am thinking of.”
“Mom, I know the Dark side is always around. But it’s not in me. Not in that way.” She knew what was at stake. “I will never fall into it. I promise.”
“It’s whoever else who wants to hurt you that scares me.”
There it was. It came out raw, unfiltered, spewed on the kitchen floor like a nasty stain. All moms worried, or at least the ones that cared. But she wasn’t any mom, and she wasn’t any daughter.
“No,” Ren continued her thought, “I am the daughter of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and her Imperial Highness, the granddaughter of Palpatine, aka Darth Sidious, aka evil in the flesh.” She had that way of saying petulant words, thrusting them against her teeth, exactly like… “Yes, I know that too. Like my father. But you loved that, didn’t you?” Rey grinned, darn it, she couldn’t hold anything against her. Or her father.
Ren felt the shift in her mother’s emotions. “Do you remember the academy? Remember what happened to whoever tried to challenge me?” Rey did remember the kids hanging for dear life from the tallest limbs of the trees in the courtyard. She had been called in to talk with the Principal that day. “What I said about the Dark side before? I mean it. I am more like you than you can imagine. I can handle it.” Her eyes rounded as she pleaded. She wasn’t exactly teasing, she meant it. Trust me Ren added through the Force.
“Okay, okay, go then. Make sure you call or send a message, if something happens.” Ren’aalda didn’t waste a second. Gave her mom a soft kiss on the cheek, got her stuff and walked out bouncing with energy.
--- ----
Rey went back to her preparations, trying to finish before the vegetables dried out. The last rays of the sun filled the room with orange brightness, warming her skin, taking her mind off the scrutiny of her thoughts. She lifted her hand and made shadow creatures on the wall. The light gleamed red and then it was gone, just as quickly as it came.
The unit was high up, but not as high as some of the very expensive ones close to the Senate. It was located few miles away from the Jedi Temple, in the Textiles district, an elegant new neighborhood for the couple thousand of the top levels. It wasn’t hip when they moved in, but the last five years or so, many new designers and entertainment moguls had found residence here, turning the once sleepy, industrial area to a hub of nighttime activity. Her daughter thoroughly enjoyed that. With help from her friends she had found an intern position at a large company in entertainment. Rey worried about that too, but what else was new. Since the day she held her in her arms, and even before, worry had become a frequent guest. Maybe that was her calling, she certainly had all the charisma necessary.
She covered the salad and placed it in the refrigerator. She checked the meat that was marinating in spices and garlic. She was going to cook this a bit later, for supper. Now it was time to relax. Meditate a little maybe. Read? No, no more reading tonight.
It was quiet. In fact, it had been too quiet since Ren left, when was it? Rey looked at the time. Fifteen, twenty minutes ago? Closer to thirty, she guessed. She opened a cabinet, reached for a long-stemmed glass and left it on the counter. Halfway to where bottles of Blossom wine rested on the racks, she froze. A feeling, a cold hand of unease pressed on her chest. “What the—” she whispered as her eyes opened wide.
The feeling was coming from the bedrooms at the other side of the apartment. And that could mean only couple of things, both of them not very encouraging. Her feet moved despite her mind denying them. This cannot be happening. Not tonight. Not ever!
Oh, she felt it earlier, and thought she was over-reacting. There was something in the air. A sense of displacement. She’d barely reached the edge of the kitchen, when on the hallway wall, a foreboding shadow appeared. Her breath caught in her throat.
She blinked.
Still there.
She held her eyes closed for a second, emptied her mind and opened them again. If she had been drinking, she would think it was the alcohol making her see things.
The identity of the form was undeniable. But who? How?
She slapped her hand and felt the pain. The shadow was still there, she wasn’t imagining it, only now it seemed to be moving towards her.
The helmet, the cape. She had seen those before. Those images at the Jedi museum, in the books of the Senate. Most importantly, inside Ben’s mind.
But he died, Master Luke had seen him die, and before that he had turned to the light.
So why is Darth Vader walking inside your apartment on a Friday night? Hmm?
Her chest burned for air and when she gasped, she knew he must have heard that. She was right, the shadow moved faster. Behind her back, she reached through the Force for her saber, and felt it landing in her hand. She brought it forward, ready to ignite the crystal. And then, before her eyes, a mini Darth Vader appeared swashing his toy saber towards her, making fighting sounds with his mouth. He stopped in the middle of the hallway, lifted the saber the way his mother did, and said “Join me or die!”
“Ani, what are you doing? Why are you dressed like this?” She brought down the saber, placed a hand at her waist and smiled at him. The bad feeling was gone, and she felt her heart settling back in its place. She demanded an explanation. Her 7-year-old was quoting Darth Vader, in a Darth Vader costume. She had some ideas about what happened, but she was still pretending to be mad at him.
He had a faint lisp and his voice, still that of a child, sometimes became deeper, indicating how it will change in his teens to a barytone. “Mommy put the saber back up! Come on, let’s play!”.
“Ani, where did you get these clothes?” Rey held her ground, smiling wide. “Did Ren’aalda put you up to this?”
“Yes, mommy! She said you would love it, and that we would play sabers!” Ani said joyfully. Then his shoulders dropped. “Mommy, she promised me. Did she lie?” He was very sad under his helmet; she didn’t need special powers to feel that. “Oh sweetheart! She didn’t lie. I just didn’t know.”
She looked at him softly. “She forgot to tell me about it!” She’d have a talk about this later, yet she couldn’t help it. It was darkly amusing. She dropped to one knee and opened her arms.
“Come here!” Ani ran into her arms and Rey held him, feeling his little body close to hers. His heart was racing in excitement. “Ok,” she said, “Let me leave the real one down and I will get one like yours to play.”
Ani didn’t like that. He stomped his foot down. “No, I want the real one!”
“Sweetheart, we can’t play with the real one. It’s not safe.”
He wanted to argue but he knew his mom. He spun his saber, giving up. “Okay, mommy.”
She cheered him up. “You’ll see, I am bringing an even better one.” She walked into the suite bedroom and left the real saber on top of the black and red armoire in the corner. The heavy doors were not locked, as inside they only stored training weapons. She picked up a synthetic saber that had a permanent beam very similar to his, only this one could light up with the Force. It had tiny kyber crystal fragments inside that could vibrate with the Force sensitives. Other than that, it was completely harmless, even if you banged someone over the head with it.
“Ha!” She said and jumped back in the hallway. “Take your place, Sith Master. Get set!” Ani got into the first stance, and just as he trained, he began his Jedi moves. Rey thought she might die from cuteness, but she had to hold on to her mean face.
Nope she couldn’t. She smiled widely at him.
And then she attacked.
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She was supposed to rest today, put her feet up, relax. Sip some blossom wine from Naboo. She brought the glass to her lips and took another sip. At least she didn’t have to feel guilty for skipping training one day. Ani had kicked her ass. That boy! He jumped on the light fixture and swung from it a few good times before she threatened to put him to bed earlier.
He gave her a workout! She pulled the foot stool close and brought her feet up. What a relief, she sighed. Next to her, on the little table, laid the remnants of her dinner. She wanted to wait up, but she had gotten hungry from all the exercise.
After their game she placed the marinated meat in the pot to slowly cook for dinner and, at the same time, prepared egg and noodles for her little one. He ate happily, gesturing with his fork as he relived their game date. He made sure to schedule 300 more of these for the foreseeable future. Then he watched his shows, had his bath and fell asleep while his mom was telling him a story about when she was little, and she was living in an AT-AT. That always worked. Somehow her hard childhood held a mystery for both her kids, and over the years, it had taken glorified dimensions. She wouldn’t complain. Whatever worked to get them to sleep it was fine with her.
Rey placed some of his toys back in their place, picked up the costume from the chair and hung it in the closet. She lingered there for a minute, but then shook herself out of it and closed the doors. Enough worrying for now. Her hands on her waist, she let out a breath as she looked around. Everything else could wait for the service people tomorrow.
Sweet Ani was sound asleep. His beautiful face resting, rosy cheeks from all the excitement and the warm bath. His nose was similar to hers. He had her eyes too, green. All the rest was a mix between her and Ben. He looked a bit like great grandad Anakin too, judging from the portraits on Naboo. She placed a soft kiss on his forehead and brushed a honey-colored curl away. Switched off all the lights, except a tiny one that looked like a BB8 droid.
The night was warm, as most nights on Coruscant. The planet had been stuck in a warm, artificial climate for millennia and although it was unnatural, it worked to the inhabitants’ favor. Either way, the only animals and plants on the planet, like the trees adorning her balcony, were not complaining. They were brought along only to service people or be eaten by them. Part of her rejected that, and part was so tired that didn’t want to care about it. She finally had been blessed with balance today and wanted to stay in it as much as possible. She closed her eyes, the feel of the balmy wind smoothing over her thin tunic, a warm embrace she could finally let go in.
She must have dozed off in a meditative state, when she felt the door of the unit opening. It was too early for Ren to be back, so that could only mean…
“Hey, there you are love”, the big man said as he walked out on the balcony. He bent over and gave her exposed shoulder a kiss. He breathed her in, before standing up to look around, and up at the stars peeking through the clouds. He turned to her. “This whole set up feels very nice. I am going to pour me a glass and come right up.” He walked back into the living room.
Rey wanted to ask him about dinner, but he wouldn’t be able to hear her, and she didn’t want to shout, so she got up. Her feet didn’t like that. Pins and needles attacked at once. Ben got back out and saw her standing. “Why did you get up? Sit down!” She chuckled and followed his order. He brought the other foot stool close, took one of her feet in his lap and started massaging it.
She moaned loudly, biting hard on her lips. “Ben, I think you have to stop this, or the neighbors might want some too.”
He threw his head back slightly as he laughed but didn’t let go. “No, this is all for you,” he said becoming complicit, locking on her eyes. It went deep, all the way to her soul. Gods I love you, she said via their bond. I know, he said back.
He kept working on her feet for a while, ignoring her soft pleas for mercy.
“Now, tell me, how was your day? What did you do? What did you cook? It smells wonderful!”
His hands were kneading the ball of her foot and she couldn’t pierce two thoughts together. She was unbelievably aroused, yet so comfortable. None of the awkwardness of their early times. Ben, she thought. Later, for dessert, he replied.
“I made Nerf meat the way you like it. In the pot, after I marinated for hours in the refrigerator. And I made salad. I didn’t want to do anything complicated. I am tired. There is fresh bread.” She looked at her empty glass. “And I opened a bottle of wine.”
“Anything exciting happened?”
She wanted to tell him, but she figured little Ani’s adventures deserved a moment of their own. She shrouded her memories for now. “Well, Ren is out dancing. Ani is sleeping. I cooked and read some Jedi stuff. How was yours?”
“Ugh,” he started. “That good, huh?” she said brow raised, half-smile crooked.
“It was long and tiring, but we had breakthroughs with the new students.” Ben had taken over teaching the new, yet older Padawans that came into the temple for training. All these young adults, from various places in the Galaxy, so different between them, yet so similar in the Force. It was a difficult job being a mentor, the physical aspect only part of it. Still, Ben was very popular because like her, he had an intimate relationship with the Dark side, and he could literally tell them how to keep away from the trapdoors that led to it. Somehow, the years that passed had mellowed the public’s opinion of his past, and now he was more of a celebrity than anything else. Not unlike her, he enjoyed a certain luxury in his popularity. The younger generations knew of him, though hardly recognized him unless they saw him in context. Especially now, that I am closer to 50 standard.
Rey sat up, moved her foot out of the way, and pulled him close by his shirt. Underneath, his rock-hard body responded to her touch with a shudder. You look more handsome every day. She moved her lips over his face, gently stroking his skin. His eyes, his forehead, over his strong nose, down to his luscious mouth. She paused there, feeling the tingling of energy between them. She pushed gently, nudging him, and he slowly opened his mouth. With his bottom lip between hers, she slightly tugged. His breath calm and even before, started being erratic. She chuckled over his mouth, licked his tongue and tugged on his top lip. She was planning her next move when Ben cut to the chase, grabbed her by the waist and pulled her over his lap.
“There, now you are mine.” She raised her brow inquisitively. His expression was semi-serious, his feelings intense. Somehow, they had ended on top of a tiny footstool, but they didn’t care. She held his face between her hands, admiring his eyes. A whole universe fit inside her heart.
Stop it and kiss me! He demanded over their bond. And she did, passionately. Taking her time, feeling his skin under hers. His strong jaw, as he gave back with need what she offered. Her skin rose, her breasts tightened. She felt his fingers trying to get under her tunic and then— a loud growling sound. The magic paused.
“Oh,” Ben said. “That’s me, I am hungry.” His face pleading for mercy, eyes rounded for added effect.
“Come on, let’s put something inside you and then we will see about this.” Rey gestured between them, then climbed down from his lap and walked inside. She wanted to feed him her delicious dinner.
Ben looked at her slender figure as she walked, thinking how little she had changed the past 18, no 19 years. It had been 19 whole years since he first met her. Her behind, still rocking his world every time it bounced.
“Ben?!”
“Coming!”
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He was on his second serving, when she noticed the bags on the sofa. She was sitting next to him as he ate, talking and keeping company. “What did you get?” she motioned with her chin towards them.
“You can’t imagine what I saw today.” His excitement was obvious. “I had to buy it. I guess it’s ok, years have passed, and people have moved on to the story, leaving the fear out of it.”
“What?” Rey asked. An obscure image was forming in his mind. That meant he was trying to shield his story. She pulled back to give him space.
“I got, you won’t believe it,” he said between bites “a Kylo costume for Hallowe’en.” He paused to see her reactions. Rey’s expression was not easy to discern. Amused, but also enigmatic. “I went into the store, asked for the costume and the girl behind the counter didn’t even look up to see me as she charged the units.” Rey gasped in disbelief.
“I don’t know if I should be relieved or worried.” He laughed.
“Why did you get a Kylo costume? You already have one.” She pointed towards the storage room. “The original?”
“Yeah but that one is, the one I wore when…you don’t like that one.” He stated and scratched his head feeling awkward. “Who said I don’t like that one?” She objected. “I mean...” She dragged on without finishing that thought. Pink flashed her cheeks. He loved that.
“You want me to wear that one? I can wear that one.” His voice deepened. “Often. How’s that?”
“It doesn’t have to be a holiday”. Again, she dragged out her response, circling her finger on the marble. Her smile radiated naughtiness.
A short silence.
“So,” she tried to change the subject, she was curious. “Where will you be going as Kylo?”
“I am not sure. There is going to be a party at the Poes, on Yavin.” Ben waited for her to show him she knew what he meant. “You know? We are invited?”
“Yeah, I wasn’t sure if we’d go, with everything that we have going on.” The list was endless.
“We definitely should. All the gang will be there.”
He stopped thinking about the attendees for a minute and got very serious. “Lately, I feel you burning out. Day in, day out, your spark is dimmer. It’s all about balance, we have to rest in between.” She sighed to show him how right he was.
Ben took her hands in his. He studied them briefly as he rubbed his thumbs on them. Then brought them to his lips and kissed them. Rey felt her stress melt away.
He let go and sipped some wine. “At the store, I saw something else too, but didn’t get it today. I wanted to make sure you’d be okay with it”.
“No way, you saw Reys?” She straightened her back.
“Oh yeah, plenty of those. Leias, Finns, Han Solos even! But no, I mean, they have little Darth Vader costumes, and they are the cutest thing. With light sabers that glow red, but they are toys! I was thinking we should get one for Ani.”
Rey grinned.
“Too much pun?” Ben asked.
She chuckled mischievously, then her grin got even bigger.
“Well, see…”