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There was the loud sound of fingers snapping, and three heads turned to face the small, floating being that was its source.
"Paimon did notice something!" the illeistic fairy proclaimed. "Both Kaeya and Diluc are really good at getting information out of those Abyss Order creeps!"
Her golden-haired travelling companion looked back and forth between the two men, then raised an eyebrow at Paimon in an expression of inquiry.
"You remember! When we got back from Stormterror's Lair, Kaeya told us how he'd gone and gotten all this info about the Abyss Order when they snuck into Mondstadt! And he was being all mysterious about it, too. What was it he said?"
Paimon looked at the Traveler expectantly, then after a short pause said, "Yeah, exactly! He said, 'Let's just say I'm blessed with certain—dramatic pause!—linguistic powers.'" And then she pointed at Kaeya. "But the joke's on you, mister! We know what that means, now, and it ain't just talking! 'Cause when we found that Abyss Order guy, Diluc was just all, wham! Bam! Wham! And then the guy was all 'I'll tell you what-eeever you want to know!'" She flopped her head around and wiggled her arms to… pantomime the Abyss Order member in question, maybe.
Kaeya blinked, then looked sidelong at Diluc. "We-ell, now! I didn't know you had it in you!" he said, admiringly, receiving a slightly confused glower in return. But then the Cryo Vision wielder's brow furrowed. "Wait. Hold on. These two were watching you?"
Diluc bristled at Kaeya's incredulous tone. "Yes?" he said, defensively. "What? We wiped out the entire stronghold on our way in. Are you saying you're fine with them bearing witness to and participating in a great deal of outright slaughter, and this is where you draw the line?"
"…uh…" Kaeya said, still looking very at-sea. He tilted his head one way, then the other. "…I… suppose that's… I guess that makes, uh, some amount of sense…? Kind of…?"
"What's your problem?!" Diluc demanded, reaching the end of his patience. Kaeya always seemed to bring that out in him. "You can do whatever you want, all sly and secret, but if I try to do the same thing out in the open, suddenly I'm the one doing something wrong?!"
Kaeya raised up his hands in a placating gesture. "Hey, whoa, no, I'm not one to judge! So long as everyone's on board and having fun, more power to you. Uh. Except." His one visible eye slid over towards Paimon. "Uh, how old are you exactly…?"
"Fun…?" Diluc said. And then the one-mora coin dropped. "Dear sweet Barbatos," he said, appalled. "Linguistic powers. Kaeya, you slut."
Kaeya's head whipped back towards him. "Wha—You're one to talk!"
Sparks were forming, probably involuntarily, at Diluc's gloved fingertips. "I tortured them! With fire. I didn't suck enemy dick!"
Kaeya stared at him for long moments, visibly rewinding through the last few minutes of conversation. "Oh," he said.
Diluc suppressed his unruly magic with difficulty, then closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Paimon and the Traveler were still too shocked to respond, looking wide-eyed at Kaeya.
Kaeya coughed. "Well. This is a little bit awkward," he said.
"Why would you even think that was a good idea?" Diluc's voice was despairing.
Kaeya shuffled his feet, then put on a blasé air like it was another fur-lined cloak. "Well, it worked! And, unfortunately, they were a cryo mage, so my options were limited. Either use my sword for an unpleasantly long time… or use their sword for a… pleasantly long time." He shrugged nonchalantly, but they could all see the blush reddening his tanned cheeks in spite of his efforts. "What, don't tell me none of you like… popsicles?"
Belatedly, the Traveler clapped two hands over Paimon's ears.
"Paimon already heard!" the fairy whined, in dramatic tones of devastation. "And Paimon wishes she hadn't!"