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Doc woke up to the faint sound of singing. By the lack of lights creeping through the cracks between the floorboards of the ship, he could tell it was still in the middle of night. Much too early (or late, depending on who he’d ask about the matter) to be awakened.
With a groan, he shifted until he was sitting upright in the bed, feet dropping to the floor with a gentle thud. He was already awake. Might as well see which member of his crew had been unable to rest, and somehow convince whoever the person was to give sleep another attempt.
With a fond smile and an exasperated shake of his head, Doc mused that the crew - and he wasn’t too prideful to admit that he, himself, was included in this statement - were all too stubborn for their own good. Most of them were bad at asking for help, and even worse at admitting something was wrong in the first place.
As their captain, it was his duty to take care of them nonetheless.
And as their friend, Doc thought with a hum as he stepped into his boots and grabbed a blanket before making his way out the door of his quarters, it filled his heart with joy to watch them thrive.
The soles of his shoes clacked against the wooden floor as Doc made his way over the main deck. The wind whistled through the sails, causing the lanterns that were lighting up the doorways to clank together, the metal frames swinging and setting a steady, bright beat for the person singing up front, near the hull of the ship. As he got closer, Doc’s heart began pounding as he picked up the clues of who that person might be.
The creaking of floorboards alerted his arrival to the person singing when Doc finally stepped onto the forecastle deck proper. Other than a slight hesitation and a turn of the person’s head - deep brown eyes reflecting the faraway light of the lanterns behind them - the man kept singing, voice somber and gentle as his voice carried on the wind.
Doc stood behind the man’s back, waiting to see if he would finish the song before turning around to face him, but after a while, Doc softly sighed.
He took a few steps forward until he was beside the other man. Doc carefully draped the blanket around Grian’s shoulders, and with a low groan, Doc sat down beside him, joining him in staring out at the dark horizon and the way the night made the night sky fade seamlessly into the sea.
Doc sat in silence, listening to Grian’s clear voice as it merged with the crashing of waves and the sounds of the ship. He could’ve fallen asleep to it, but for the chill of the wind still creeping in between the layers of his clothes.
After a long time of the two of them sitting on the deck, side by side, Grian’s song slowly trailed off before ending on a hauntingly fragile note, drawn out and trembling like the wind in the sails during a rough storm. Grian breathed out a sigh while Doc sat, transfixed, as the final note was still echoing in his mind. The smaller man leaned into his side.
Doc returned to the moment, eyes blinking. He looked down at the smaller shape pressed into his side, and smiled. He remained silent as he waited for Grian to speak.
“I was just… thinking,” Grian said after a few minutes had passed, answering Doc’s unspoken question of why he’d found Grian alone on the deck, singing in the middle of the night.
Doc hummed, and stretched his legs out, getting more comfortable as he settled in. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Doc asked, “Thinking about what?”
Grian shrugged, the movement dragging against Doc’s shirt. “I don’t know. The sea. The navy, my childhood. The academy. This. Us, you. The future.”
Doc felt almost breathless, just for a moment—
Grian continued, “The crew. The first time we met.” The smaller man shrugged again. “You know. Things.”
“So I can see,” Doc said, voice gentle. “Is that what made you leave your bed?”
At that, Grian snorted. “I wouldn’t exactly call it a bed - but sure. I’m fine, I just needed some space. You, however, have no reason for being awake so late. You’re not wearing your eyepatch, so I know you’ve been asleep at some point. The crew needs their captain to be in his best shape. Go back to bed.”
Doc hummed noncommittally. “The crew also wants their captain to be happy.” Grian made a small sound in the back of his throat, but Doc paid it no mind as he continued, “And the captain will not be happy if his crew is not happy. I’m staying for as long as you are.”
He barely caught it over the sound of the wind, but Grian’s faint, “Bastard,” still managed to be picked up by his ears. A smile spread on Doc’s face as he felt warm affection for the smaller man spread through him.
“Do you…” Grian started to say, before trailing off.
Doc tilted his head back as he gazed at the stars, taking in the cold light that danced and twinkled above. Eyes locked at the sky, Doc prompted Grian to finish his question, “Do I..?”
Grian sighed beside him. “Do you remember that time we danced?”
The memory came back to Doc in an instant, knowing exactly which event Grian was referring to. “I do. I remember you looked so angry.”
A huff that sounded almost like laughter escaped the smaller man, and finally, Doc took his eyes away from the heavens and returned to watching Grian, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Doc continued, “When you finally accepted my offer, I knew that it wasn’t by choice. I feel bad for it now, but… then, I was so happy to have you in my arms, despite everything.”
Finally, Grian turned to meet his gaze, dark eyes reflecting the light of the lanterns. Doc’s breath caught, just for a moment.
“I figured you knew. I- I guess I just… wish we could have danced, back then, without having the threat of the navy souring the memory. I wish I hadn’t felt so obligated to them for so long. They treated me so… they—” Grian swallowed, “Yeah. Let’s just say I could have spared myself from a lot of pain, and gained who knows how many positive memories to replace them, if I’d just… accepted reality sooner. I don’t know.”
Grian shook his head, and his expression fell. Grian’s eyes, having glazed over when he was speaking, once more cleared up as his attention went back to Doc, to the present. “I’m sorry, Doc, I don’t even know what I’m saying—”
“No, it’s alright. Don’t ever apologise, please - I want to understand what you’re going through.”
Grian’s expression didn’t change, but his eyes grew more intense as he looked at Doc, still slightly tucked into the taller man’s side to fight off the chill of the night.
Doc had been about to say something else, he was pretty sure. His mind had been trying to think of more words of reassurance, of gentle caring and understanding, but he never got the chance to let the words pass his lips, because just a moment later, Grian’s lips were pressing against his own.
Doc made a small sound, and he lifted a hand to gently card his fingers through Grian’s hair. He got caught on the hairband keeping the smaller man’s locks gathered in his usual ponytail, and without giving it more thought, Doc pulled the fabric away. Grian parted his lips and licked into Doc’s mouth, and Doc was finally able to drag his fingers through the loose curls.
Grian pressed closer to him, lining their sides up and making Doc feel warm. Grian’s nose was cold when it touched Doc’s cheek, but he didn’t mind. It wasn’t enough to combat the heat of the slow brush of lips, and the gentle press of tongues meeting.
After some time spent like that, slowly kissing as their bodies were pressed close, Doc felt Grian take a trembling breath. He opened his eyes, which had slipped shut at some point during the kiss - to find tears rolling down Grian’s cheeks.
He cupped Grian’s cheeks with both hands, thumbing the tears away. Grian let out a sob at the gentle motion. The smaller man’s eyes were still closed. Doc whispered, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just—” Grian started saying, more tears escaping him. “I’m still thinking about the stupid dance, and how many times I could have kissed you already if I—”
Doc spoke without letting Grian finish talking. “Let’s dance, then.”
Grian’s eyes opened, and Doc was once more lost in the dark brown gaze that met his own. “What?”
“Let’s dance,” Doc repeated, staring intently into Grian’s eyes. “We can’t do anything about the things that were. You have regrets, and so do I. The only thing we can do, is live and learn. And,” he swallowed, before continuing, “and we both wish we could have done things differently back then, but we can’t. What we can do, is do things differently now.”
Grian’s eyes were wide, and he was looking at Doc with slightly parted lips. The tears had finally stopped flowing, and Doc hesitantly thumbed the last of the moisture away. “So what do you say, Grian? Would you like to dance with me?”
The smaller man’s breath caught, and he whispered out a breathless, “Yes.”
Doc smiled, and when Grian returned it, it made Doc feel like his heart was being squeezed in his chest from the way it swelled with his affection for the smaller man.
The two of them slowly unwrapped themselves from one another, and got up on their feet. Grian discarded the blanked Doc had draped over his shoulders, and Doc watched him silently, admiring the way Grian’s hair was shifting with the wind, wavy locks framing his jaw and making Grian appear almost inhuman with how devastatingly pretty he was, illuminated by the stars, pale skin and wild hair seeming to glow with it.
Grian was facing him, and Doc turned to meet him. There was no music, and no rhythm but for the crashing of waves against the sides of the ship. It was enough. Doc reached out his hand.
Grian took it.
They started moving, uncoordinated and out of beat from one another. A peal of laughter left Grian’s lips, startling and loud in the silent night, and Doc laughed with him. Tear tracks were still faintly visible on Grian’s cheeks, but they were overshadowed by the wide smile pulling at his lips.
Their movements started evening out as they figured out a rhythm, unspokenly agreeing as they fell into step with one another. It got easier when Grian started singing.
Doc’s smile widened when he recognised the melody. It was an old song, but Grian managed to make it sound brand new - the somber words and minor scale being turned into something light and breezy as the melody spilled from Grian’s lips. Their movements adapted to it, and with Grian’s hand wrapped tightly in Doc’s, they let themselves go.
They knew the steps and proper techniques, but neither party paid them any mind in that moment - they just danced.
Doc spun Grian around, and the smaller man giggled around the words as he moved fluidly, hair flying wildly around his face. The song grew more cheery, still - and Doc felt his happiness and love start to build up inside him, overflowing as he held Grian in his arms. The width of his smile was making his cheeks ache.
He realised the song was growing near to its end. Grian met his eyes - and the smaller man raised one eyebrow, like a teasing challenge, even as his voice was still soft around the melancholic words. Doc laughed, shaking his head as he realised what Grian wanted.
Doc wrapped one arm around Grian’s waist as the smaller man placed one hand on Doc’s shoulder for stability. Then, Grian threw his head back, facing the stars and moon above as he let one arm stretch out behind himself, trusting Doc to hold him up. Grian’s eyes fell shut as he let out an excited laugh, and Doc was so overwhelmed by it—
Using the leverage he had around Grian’s midsection, he pulled the smaller man back upright. Grian’s bright laughter was slowly trailing off, but he didn’t move away from Doc’s embrace.
The night grew quiet around the two of them once more. Doc was feeling all kinds of soft and happy, his entire body filled with excited buzzing. Grian was still smiling, even with his eyes closed - he seemed… content. Doc felt almost selfish when he leaned down to press another soft kiss to the smaller man’s lips - but Grian simply hummed, and sank further into his arms.
Doc could have happily stayed like that - Grian, happy in his arms, the two of them kissing throughout the night - but the night was cold around them, and the hour was still late. He kept the kiss short.
As he broke away, Grian made a soft sound, and let his head sink to Doc’s chest, leaning against him.
Doc whispered, “It’s time for bed, I think.”
“It’s not a bed - it’s a cot,” Grian mumbled, making Doc chuckle again as he tightened his arms around the smaller man.
“I meant my bed, if you’d be willing to share it.”
Grian raised his head, and when his eyes blinked open and met Doc’s own, his gaze was so warm it made Doc’s head spin.
“You’re sure?”
“I am. Are you?”
Grian’s lips curled, and the look in his eyes grew even softer. Doc was so in love with him, and in that moment, he was certain that Grian knew.
Grian’s voice was steady when he said, “I am, too.”
Doc’s smile was helpless, or maybe he was - but it didn’t matter. He let go of Grian’s waist to take the smaller man’s hand in his own once more, and with a gentle tug, the two of them made their way to the captain’s quarters, blanket forgotten on the deck.
And when Doc woke up the next morning, it was to the sound of singing.