Chapter Text
John looks out the window of his dorm room, taking a break from hurriedly unpacking his laundry to watch the snowfall. Allowing himself only a few seconds to reminisce over that year’s winter vacation before he shakes himself out of it. Determined to have himself unpacked and out of the dorm before his roommate returns. The last thing John wants to do is see Dirk, especially after the vacation. He didn’t want to think about That again. But, despite that though, he finds himself looking over at Dirk’s empty bed, he tries to ignore the way his heart feels tight inside his chest. He pushes away the confusing thoughts attempting to infiltrate his brain. He tears himself away from the longing way he glances to the door, half hoping for Dirk to enter, half dreading his arrival. So he speedily unpacks and throws his clothes into his mess of a dresser and leaves the room.
After entering the hallway he hears the familiar voice of his best friend, but he also hears the one he is so desperately trying to avoid. He looks up to see both Dirk and Dave smile and wave at him as they walk to the dorm, but John waves only at Dave and runs off. Avoiding eye contact with Dirk. Doing everything possible to avoid thinking about the hurt and confusion that he sees flash across Dirk’s face.
John continues this little dance, avoiding Dirk for the next two months. Ducking out of any hallway or room he spots Dirk in. And every time he tries to ignore the pain he sees in the millisecond he gives himself to look at Dirk.
Over time Dirk slowly also begins to avoid John, whether it be putting on headphones to work on his projects in their dorm, going to bed early, or leaving group gatherings John is part of. He refuses to look at John. And every time John feels that pain in his chest again. A feeling he doesn’t know what to do with and hopes will eventually leave him.
Midterms come and go before either of them say a word to each other, and even then it’s only Dirk handing John a note telling him where to find tutors to help raise his grades. John waits for Dirk to leave before putting the note in his bag, remembering who helped him last semester and why that was no longer an option. Not wanting to deal with the anxiety-provoking concept of talking to a new person, the second he receives his midterm grades John hightails it to Dave’s dorm room.
Relying entirely on muscle memory and not an ounce of common sense, John just opens Dave’s door and walks in. Upon entering the room John freezes in confusion at the unexpected sight lay before him. He had just walked in on two shirtless people on Dave’s bed. But it took him a minute to realize that he knew those two people, he’d just walked in on Dave making out with Karkat. Two guys. Making out. Half naked. On Dave’s bed.
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“So, when did you... how did you know you weren't straight?” John asks, suddenly trying to keep his focus on the game, which was playing on the monitor of Dave’s computer. However, both of them knew he’d been distracted the entire time they’d been playing. They both knew what John was thinking about the entire time. After John stumbled into Dave’s room, interrupting both him and Karkat, Karkat left having to go do “something” as he said. Leaving Dave to explain the situation to a very shocked and confused John. The Strider realizing there was no way for him to get through to John raised up a video game and the two sat down to play.
“Damn John, way to start a conversation with some easy questions, shit dude, I don’t fucking know” Dave responds sarcastically looking away from the game they were playing. “Seriously though, I don’t really even know, I honestly just realized over time that I had a thing for Karkat and it just went from there I guess.” he shrugs not entirely sure of how to answer John’s question. “I mean I know I gave you permission to ask about stuff after, you walked in on me and Karkat but like, why that one in particular dude?”
“No reason,” John says, trying to put on his best impression of Dave and shrugs it off, hoping that he doesn’t press any further.
“Dude literally no one asks that unless they are either homophobic or questioning themselves. Which one are you, if it's the former I’m gonna have to ask you to leave and pull your damn head out of your ass, then again you do room with Dirk so I doubt that's it. So that means it has to be the latter. So who's making you, Mr. ‘I’m not a homosexual’, question stuff?” Dave asks after his mini-rant.
“You’ve been spending too much time with Rose, she’s been teaching you to psychoanalyze people like her hasn’t she.” John jokes, in an attempt to change the course of the conversation.
“No John, she hasn’t it doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Not to mention I’ve been where you’re at now so there’s that.”
“I still can't believe you and Karkat got together, didn’t you guys hate each other all of freshman year? You two had like an English class or something together didn’t you? I remember you complaining about some ‘windbag’ in your class and every time I tried to hang out with the both of you, you were at each other’s throats, so what happened?”
“John you’re majorly deflecting and doing a horrible job at it, but to answer your question, yes but we both kinda just got over it and well you know the rest of the story from there,” Dave explains. “But I’m going to ask you again, who’s making you question stuff, I thought I’d have best bro privileges in that area or something so I’d get to know dude.”
“Best bro privileges really Dave, what are you thirteen?” John laughs looking at Dave who paused the game and puts a hand on his chest in dramatic fake offense. “I mean you didn’t tell me about Karkat so I guess that means I don’t have to tell you about D-.” John stops himself before finishing his statement, aware that he almost said the thing he just told Dave he wasn’t about to say.
“Okay so I got a D from that, and there are only like two people in the friend group whose names begin with D, so unless this is someone from a different class, which I highly doubt you’re either talking about me, which I’d have to say I’m flattered about John but you’re like five years too late for that, or Dirk,” Dave states smirking as John looked at him in horror. “Well that was a complete shot in the dark but I’m gonna assume that you’ve got a crush on my brother, but really John, my brother? Really? I definitely better get the best bro privileges now, I deserve an explanation.”
“Dave, no, I don’t- well I mean- fuck” John began trying to explain himself, but at every turn, he just stopped knowing there was no way to explain it to Dave who was sitting next to him smirking because of what he figured out. “Fuck you, Dave.”
“Sorry John, that is Karkat’s job and his alone, he doesn’t like to share.” Dave laughs. “However, my brother is in fact single so you have some hope there.” This response got John to playfully push the Strider over onto his side.
“Really dude, really. Doesn’t it make you uncomfortable to make that joke? Like he is your brother after all?” John asks, confused by Dave’s ability to find the entire situation hilarious.
“Oh this is entertaining for me, because of your expressions dude, you really have always been horrible at hiding what you’re feeling, like fucking always been terrible at it. And I figured something was going on because the damn sexual tension between you two during that vacation we all went on this past break, that shit could’ve been cut with a damn knife.” Dave began still laughing a bit. “So honestly it’s kind of just like, it’s about fucking time one of you two made a damn move like fucking seriously.”
“Does anyone else know?” John asks fear beginning to take over his voice, who else knew, did Jane know? Was she going to tell their dad? How would he react? How would the rest of the family react?
“Know what about you and Dirk circling each other in a fucking endless spiral of pining and sexual tension? No, just me everyone else was too busy screwing around with their partners or babysitting everyone else.” Dave answers. John feels himself relax a bit, knowing that his secret is safe with Dave. Even if the Strider teases John occasionally he knows that Dave would never tell anyone without John’s permission. “So what do you want to do about it, John?”
“Nothing, besides I’m not gay,”
“Sure you’re not, you’re just having gay thoughts regarding my brother, nothing gay about that at all John.”
“Fuck off Dave,” John rolls his eyes as the two hear a knock at Dave’s door and Karkat walks in wearing Dave’s shirt and holding three bags of Mcdonald’s.
“Hey shit heads, I’m back with food. Figured getting you dumbasses food would make the situation less awkward.” Karkat says after closing Dave’s door.
“Wow Karkles, what a nice way to greet your boyfriend,” Dave responds teasingly. John smiles, glad that his interruption didn’t ruin anything between the two of them.
“Strider fuck off,” Karkat yells, but the fake anger is lost on everyone in the room as soon as he smiles guiltily at Dave.
“Wow, I remember the first time you used that on Dave, Karkat.” John laughs awkwardly trying to change the conversation a bit. “I think it was back like first-semester last year when Terezi and Vriska were both hitting on us.”
Dave holds his head in his hands and rubs his forehead as though trying to wipe the memory from his mind. “God, yea I remember that group chat, but I’m going to continue trying to remove that entire convo from my damn brain, especially the part where you told John and I to get with Rose and Jade.”
“That was before I really even knew you assholes, and besides I was fucking right about them just trying to experiment with you two. All I knew about Dave was that he was some smug asshole from my English class who wore shades inside, All. The Damn. Time.”
“Yes Karkles, and now you are dating this smug asshole who wears shades all the damn time,” Dave responds smirking before he received a pillow straight to the face from Karkat.
“If you two are just going to be flirting the entire time I think I’m gonna head out.” John begins, as he grabs his bag and his phone. “Besides I’ve got a lot of thinking to do tonight.”
“Alright, good luck with that dude.” Dave waves as Karkat sits down beside him giving him a confused look. John walks out of the dorm and to the staircase to begin walking to his own dorm.