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"Look at you, you're paralyzed with fear!"
"No. I'm just lining up my shot."
BANG!
She did it. She really did it! Linda didn't believe she would, how could she? With the blonde frozen with shock, the bullet hit the top of her hat, knocking it off. Just a few inches, and it would've hit the middle of her forehead. She was in complete disbelief at how close it was. How could Becky actually shoot her? But she couldn't afford to waste any time processing that. She had a duty as a prophet, as a mother.
"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? SEIZE THE HERETICS!" she shouted, and her flock immediately sprung to action.
The heathens tried to fight, but there were just too many Wiggly followers. Tom and the two girls were almost effortless to capture, but Becky still managed to injure two people before someone took the firearm from her. It didn't matter, as long as they were all captured.
All the while, Linda was holding her child, her God. Lightly tickling his belly-well. He talked to her, in a different way than he talked to the others, they had a deeper connection. She felt him. It was like he allowed her to see in his mind, envision the world he would rebuild. And the path through which they would get there. His birth was so close, and now she knew how to make it happen.
But first, they needed to make sure the mall was completely free of heretics. Wiggly's new body would be fragile in the first moments of his birth, until she gave him sustenance to make him strong. They couldn't risk having anyone around that could be a threat in that delicate situation. So she ordered her followers to search through the mall, in persuit of any other hidden people, but the searchers came back empty handed. The last heathens inside Lakeside Mall were the four they have just captured.
Linda had each of them arrested in a different shop storage room, and she decided to go personally to each of them to give them the chance to bow to Wiggly or meet their death. It was a formality she would've gladly skipped if her prisoners were just Tom Huston and those two little brats. She couldn't care less for the death of any of them.
Becky Barnes was a whole different matter, though. Linda saw the glimpse in her eyes, when they were fighting for a doll in the beginning of that day. The deep sense of lacking, the desperation to fill that void that only Wiggly could truly fill. Becky Barnes could be turned, she could join her at the cult of the one true God, she could be by her side in the new world.
I will give you your Becky-weck, Mommy. She will be your li-ttle pwesent!
Linda smiled with the words she heard in her head, and the glimpses of the future Wiggly showed her. Yes, she would have what she wanted, one way or another.
****
Becky Barnes was locked inside Toyzone's storage room, curled up in a corner, hugging her own knees. She had the chance to end this madness, the gun was in her hand, and she missed it. If she just aimed a little better, maybe that Wiggly nonsense would be over by now. But also… Linda would be dead.
She didn't want that. Even though Linda was doing all those horrible things right now, Becky didn't truly want her to die. Even worse, she didn't want to be the one to kill her. She barely knew how she got the courage to pull the trigger, actually. Was it just desperation to stop that nonsense? Or was she still a bit under the influence of that doll? Did she really mean to kill Linda, or did she miss on purpose? Becky didn't even know the answer to that.
How did things get so fucked up between them? Sure, they didn't work out, and there were a million reasons for that. Even after so much time, there was still a lot of hard feelings and grudges going both ways… but this? Pointing a gun to the woman she loved, pulling the trigger? How did it come to this? Was it Wiggly making her do it, or was this what Becky became? She did kill someone before, after all.
However... as much as Linda could be very mean when she wanted to, she wasn't evil, not like Stanley. But when she was there, surrounded by mindless slaves preparing to bring about the end of the world, evil was all Becky could see. And the evil had to be destroyed, she had that so clear in her mind.
She knew it was weird, but she felt like that was somehow her responsibility. Helping people, fighting evil and injustice, doing her best to bring some light to the world... Becky always felt some need to do good, but that absolute certainty of being responsible for it became stronger since the night Stanley died. Now she was questioning herself: did she really become a better and stronger person, or did she just become a murderer?
On top of it all, the line between the Linda she knew and the evil cult leader was not that clear. If it even existed. Should she try to help her, or fight her? Was there even a difference between those things? All her feelings for the blonde got in the middle too. The anger and frustration, the love she struggled to let go, the sting of the unhealed scars and the unforgiven injuries, the longing for when they were happy... it all got mixed up and thrown into that already horrible and confusing situation. It felt like a nightmare, only she couldn't wake up from it.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, and she quickly scrambled to her feet. Two men came in and each held one of her arms, pinning her in place. She didn't resist, it was pointless to waste her energy like that. Better to watch and wait for the right moment to act. They started to inspect her for weapons, and Becky took that time to actually look at them. God, she knew those men! That one with a tie on his head was Gary Goldstein, once a very composed lawyer, now he looked… feral. The other one was a cop, Sam, he was always a bit of an asshole, but now he just looked empty, mindless.
"The heretic is unarmed, Mother!" He yelled, like he didn't even know Becky, like she wasn't friends with his wife.
And then she came inside, sauntering like she owned the world, even more so than the usual, the heeled boots clicking on the floor. The Wiggly doll was held tightly in her left arm, and Becky's eyes were inevitably drawn to it, even though she tried to resist. It had an allure she couldn't explain. But the woman holding him had an even stronger allure, and her eyes snapped to Linda's face as soon as the woman's voice echoed in the room.
"Rebecca Barnes…" her voice, her stance, her face, it all radiated power in a way Becky never saw before, not even… no, it wasn't the time to think about that. What she should focus on was the fact that Linda wasn't wearing her hat. It was probably ruined by the gunshot.
"Linda, I--" she tried to move a step towards her, but the two men stopped her, holding her shoulders.
"Kneel before the Prophet, heathen!" Gary said, forcing her shoulder down, and she did it, grumbling through gritted teeth. The corner of Linda's lips curled in a tiny malicious smile as she stared down at the redhead, and a chill ran down Becky's spine. Unlike all the other times when they've been in a similar position, the chill this time was not excitement, it was fear.
"You stand here accused of the most capital crime: attempting against the Prophet's life. The penalty, of course, is death. But, as I am a merciful Mother, I'll give you one last chance to repent and bow to the one true God."
"Are you listening to yourself? This is nonsense, Linda!" she tried to stand up, but once again the two men stopped her from moving any further.
"Nonsense, you say?" Linda stepped closer, and she lightly ran the tip of her index finger through Becky's jawline, tilting her head up to look her in the eyes. There was a cruel smirk on her lips, and Becky gulped. How could that gesture, so reminiscent of her happiest memories, stir such an uneasy feeling in her?
"Linda, can we… talk?" Her eyes went up to the men who were still holding her. Their presence made that situation even more uncomfortable than it already would be.
"Leave us." Her voice was sharp and commanding, and they obeyed without any hesitation, looking almost like zombies. "Stay outside, be ready to come in if I call." She told them as they crossed the door, just before it was closed. Then she turned back to Becky, raising a perfect eyebrow. "Eager for some alone time, are you?"
Her tone was teasing, and her fingers ran through Becky's hair in a gesture that felt so natural, it was like Linda did it almost automatically. And for a second, when their eyes met it was like no time had passed at all. But then something happened. Becky felt it, but didn't understand it. It was subtle, like a change in the wind. Linda tugged the Wiggly doll closer to her chest, and a foreign expression took her face, something the redhead was unable to read. Becky stood up, her heart racing. She couldn't let herself forget what was going on.
"I'm giving you a chance to join the right side, Rebecca. What are you waiting for?" Her voice was cold, and the detached way she said her name was such a stark contrast to the familiar way she had just stroked her hair.
"The right side? Linda, can't you see this thing is evil? How many people are dead in this mall because of it?" She gestured towards the doll, but she didn't dare to look directly at it, keeping her eyes focused on Linda's.
"You can't lecture me about morals, Barnes, not after what you just did." As always, Linda knew how to hit exactly where it hurt.
"I… I never wanted to hurt you…" her voice came out weak, trembling, unsure.
"YOU SHOT ME, BECKY!" Linda's voice pierced through the room and went straight for Becky's heart.
For the first time in that conversation - in that day, actually - she saw a glimpse of the true Linda Monroe, the vulnerable and insecure woman behind her well crafted masks of detachment and superiority. She was hurt, and it was Becky's fault. Again.
"I'm sorry…" she barely had a voice to whisper that, tears welling up in her eyes, but she kept them from falling.
"It's too late for apologies now." Her voice was cold again, Becky could almost see her walls going up, and she wanted to shake her out of it. Of course, seeing that Linda was hurt made her feel terrible, but at least she was seeing the woman's feelings, at least she was talking to a human being, not an ice statue! But she knew all she could do was try to reason with her.
"It's never too late for apologies, Linda. It's never too late to fix things! We can still… I don't know, leave this all behind and..." Becky didn't know exactly what they could do, she had no idea how to fix any of that, but she knew trying was the only hope.
"There's only one way to fix things, Becky. If you forsake your old ways, and swear your life to Wiggly." Linda's tone was final, no room for arguments.
Then, she held the Wiggly doll with both her hands and held out her arms, lifting the thing slightly so it became lined up with Becky's face. It was impossible not to look at its creepy plastic face then, and a sense of dread filled her, mixed with a strange allure that felt almost like a siren song.
" Hello Becky-weck. Don't you want to be my friendy-wend?"
She scrambled backwards, afraid to hear the thing talking to her. It's voice clearly wasn't one of those pre-recorded sounds that some toys had, not just because it just said her name, but also by the way its sound resonated in the room. It was coming from the doll, but at the same time it wasn't, it was coming from somewhere else, or maybe everywhere. It didn't make any sense, and Becky was too anxious and confused to actually answer something, so Wiggly kept talking.
"I think you and I will be the bestest fwends! I can take you to Drowsytown, you are gonna love it there! There is nooo baaad memowies in Drowsytown. No memowies of that ugly old Stanley."
That caught her attention. And it caught her breath. How did that thing know…? Was it really that powerful? No memories of Stanley, no memories of the pain and fear and the weight of her regrets… it would be good, to have some peace of mind, to have no more nightmares, to stop looking over her shoulder at each step, to stop doubting and blaming herself. Yes, it would be so good… too good.
"You're lying." She whispered, glaring at the doll. The way Linda was holding it, the thing mostly covered her face, and she was standing very still, creating a very unsettling image.
"I can show you! Tickle my belly-well, and you will see."
Linda took a step closer, her movements a bit rigid, and Becky's instincts told her to step back, to get away and run. That was wrong, all of that was wrong and evil, and she should run away as fast as possible. So why was she reaching her hand towards the doll? Her more rational side was screaming inside of her head that it was a trap, begging her not to do that… but some things were stronger than rationality, some things were stronger even than survival instincts.
There was a hole in her soul, a hole so dark and deep it sometimes threatened to consume her whole being. A part of her was ripped away, so violently that it was still bleeding, and it added up with so many other wounds, both old and new, each one digging into that hole. Sometimes it felt hopeless, even though she tried to cling to hope with all her might. And there it was, in front of her, a spark of hope, a promise to fix her hole, to bring her a kind of peace she thought was impossible.
When her fingers touched the soft green fur of the toy's belly, everything went black for a second. Was it actually black? Or was it white? Maybe it was neither, or both. It was like everything disappeared. The doll, Linda, the room they were in, the air, the sound, everything was suddenly gone and Becky was suspended into nothingness. There was no light or dark, no cold or warmth, no good or bad. There wasn't even Becky, or her sense of self. Just complete and utter nothing.
And then she was home. With Linda. Today, right now, they were making dinner together. Or else, Becky was baking, and Linda was by her side nitpicking and making snide remarks. But her tone was light, joking, and they were bantering and laughing together. Linda's always been a terrible cook, but even so she was helping, fetching tools and ingredients and occasionally stirring a pot. Then Becky turned to her to ask for a spoon, and she caught Linda staring intently at her, a soft smile in her face and an adoring look in her eyes. She's been quiet for the last minute, and she seemed lost in thought.
"What you're thinking 'bout?" Becky asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You." Her answer was so straightforward it made the redhead slightly blush, a smile appearing in her face. "You have sauce on your face." She completed, stepping closer and taking Becky's face between her hands, before tilting her head up to kiss Becky's chin, licking off the sauce.
There was a deep and honest affection behind every gesture she made, and Becky knew her enough to feel that without the need for any words. Becky always heard passion fades with time, but they were together for so long, and she only felt their love growing stronger. She leaned down and captured Linda's lips in hers with a soft kiss, and her heart melted with how it felt so right, how everyday she fell more in love.
And then it all was shattered, as she was suddenly and brutally shoved back to her own reality. The contrast was so stark it was painful, almost physically so, and Becky found herself falling on her knees again, shaking, tears rolling down her face. She stretched out her arms, trying to touch Wiggly again, but it was put slightly out of reach.
"Give it back!” she sobbed, desperate to get back to that reality.
That reality… it wasn't a memory, that moment never happened before. But it was real, Becky was sure of that, it felt real. Not like one of those dreams that felt real, no, it felt exactly like reality, and something in her bones told her that it was. It reminded her of something she said earlier, in a completely different context: if the universe is infinite... maybe that's real somewhere. In a world where her and Linda were able to make it work, to get through their mistakes and flaws and come out stronger. A world where they never broke up, a world where she never dated Stanley, a world where she didn't know what fear truly felt like. A world where she loved and was loved back, and where she felt worthy of that.
"Be my fwendy-wend and you can have that, for eeever and ever." His voice echoed in the room, reverberating through Becky's chest.
Yes. She wanted to feel happy again, she needed it. Even the numbness of that second of nothing was better than now, at least it didn't hurt so much all the time, but it wasn't enough, not compared to that feeling of untainted happiness. And it was so easy to have it! All she had to do was say the word, and she could go back to that reality. Just a word, and life would be good again, and her and Linda…
Linda.
Where was Linda, right now? Linda was right there, wasn't she? Becky forcibly dragged her eyes away from the Wiggly doll, and she realized everything was blurry around him, like she was seeing through a fog. She blinked a few times, and fixed her gaze on Linda. The fog started to dissipate then, and Becky started to realise some things. She's been so focused on Wiggly and what he was offering, she almost literally lost sight of the real Linda, who was right in front of her.
And this… this version of Linda… there was something wrong. She looked fascinated with that doll, and there was a green glow in her eyes, like something was taking over her. It wasn't like what happened to Gary or Sam, who were almost zombies by that point. Linda still behaved mostly like herself, but there was something sinister on the edges, something foreign, and it was menacing. Would it take over her eventually? How long would it take? Becky didn't like that thought, she didn't want that to happen to Linda...
The more she looked at Linda, the more she put her thoughts into her, the clearer her mind became, until Becky could see everything perfectly clear, maybe for the first time that day. Wiggly's promise was tempting, yes, but it was a trap. She could be sent to that perfect reality, sure, and she would be happy and fulfilled, but what would happen to her body if her mind was moved there? Would she become one of the mindless slaves of Wiggly's cult? That considering the thing would keep its word, because it could very well keep her hooked with empty promises, keep her desperate and willing to do anything and that would take over her like it was doing to Linda.
But it didn't have to be like that! She was still herself, she could see through Wiggly's lies now, and Linda was still there too, maybe Becky could reach her, maybe she could save her… it's never too late, right? She stood up.
****
Becky was so close to surrender, Linda could feel it. She was so resistant at first, but just one second touching Wiggly's holy tummy, and she was on her knees, sobbing and begging. And with the sheer power it was emanating, Linda had no doubt the redhead would swear her loyalty any second now. Wiggly was almost radiating with power, so strong and alluring that Linda herself was unable to keep her eyes off him. It was like a magnet, or a very strong gravitational center, pulling everything to him, commanding and demanding.
Linda's always been attracted to power, she's kept herself close to it all her life, but she never met anything like Wiggly. His power didn't come from money or politics or status or influence, it came from himself and it fed itself. It was primal and pure, it was the root of all other power. And it was there in her hands. She was holding it and beholding it, and it was worth everything. It was the only thing that could give her all she ever wanted, and in some ways, it was itself what she wanted.
And now it would give her the one thing she was still missing, and she would be complete. She would have power, she would have Becky, and they would rule the world, and… Becky stood up. It was time, she would say yes, she would be hers again.
"No." Becky's voice echoed, firm, decided, and everything broke. Linda's eyes went wide, snapping from Wiggly to the woman, in shock.
"What? Are you out of your mind?" Her voice almost trembled in that question, as she gripped Wiggly almost too strongly in her hands, trying to contain her anger and disappointment.
"No, you are! Can't you see how evil this thing is?" Becky took a step forward, and Linda gripped the doll with her left arm, holding it at the side of her body in a protective stance.
"Oh for fucks sake, Becky, forget your stupid fairy tale moralities! There's no good or evil, there's just… means to an end, and whatever Wiggly showed you, I saw how much you need it! Why would you throw away your only chance of getting it?"
Linda couldn't wrap her mind around it, and it was desperating. Becky made her decision, and it was the wrong one. With the other three, Linda didn't waste time, she had her box opener in their throats as soon as they said no, but she couldn't bring herself to end Becky so quickly. She was so sure it would work out, so sure Becky would say yes and she wouldn't have to deal with the terrible alternative… she needed an answer, and it barely even mattered what this answer was, as long as it could buy her time, push away the outcome of Becky's choice.
"Because it's a lie, Linda! Wiggly is not the answer, he can't fix all your problems! I don't know what he promised you, but he won't give you that!"
"He would have, if you weren't such a stubborn little bitch!" She lashed out, stepping forward, and Becky's eyes went wide with surprise.
"What? I--" she seemed confused at first, but then realisation hit her. "Linda, you know this isn't the way! You and I are right here! We can fix this..." her voice sounded almost desperate, but all it did was spark anger inside Linda. How dare she try to manipulate her like that? Talking about fixing things like it was that easy?
"SHUT UP!" Her scream scared Becky more than she expected to. The ginger stepped backwards in a haste, almost stumbling in some boxes as she tried to get away from Linda.
That made the blonde pause, something tugging in her chest. Becky was afraid of her, and it didn't sit well. They used to fight a lot, back when their relationship started to crumble, and Becky never reacted like this before. But Linda knew exactly why that changed. Stanley. And the awareness that she caused that trigger… it bothered her deeply. Linda hated Staley, she didn't want to be like him. Maybe she wasn't acting right...
But Wiggly's voice in her head took those pestering thoughts away, reminding her of what was really important.
This one is rotten, Mommy. I will make a new one for you.
Yes, Wiggly was right. Her hopes for Becky to come willingly to her side were gone, and there was only one way now. Wiggly has plans, and Linda saw them all. She saw how he would rebuild the world to his liking, reset creation. And with that, he would make a new Rebecca Barnes, one who stayed with Linda, for once. But for the world to be reborn, first it had to be destroyed, and the same went for Becky. She took the box opener from her purse, and Becky took another step back, her eyes wide.
"What are you doing?" She was even more scared now, and her trembling voice didn't hide it. Linda's heart clenched, but she tightened her grip both on Wiggly and on the opener, as if she could squeeze some courage from them.
"What I have to do. You brought it on yourself, actually, it would've been easier if you'd just accepted Wiggly." She starts walking closer to Becky, who in turn backs out, both moving painstakingly slow.
"Are you listening to yourself? You don't sound like the Linda I know!" the woman's back hits a wall, and she looks like a cornered animal. Shit, Linda has to focus so stop herself from shaking.
"Well, people change. It's time for you to change too." she closes the distance between them, but she can't bring herself to point the box opener to Becky.
"Do you want me to be like those guys out there? Just an empty shell?" Becky's lower lip was trembling, and her voice wasn't just fear anymore, there was a deep hurt in her tone.
Linda felt a knot in her throat. There was too much between them, too much love mixed with too much hatred, and the more Linda tried to keep it down the more likely it was to burst out in harmful ways. And with all the guilt and affection she was trying to repress, what came out was anger and pain.
"I want you to be mine, goddamn it!" She lashed out, and before she knew, the box opener was against Becky's throat. The redhead held her hand, preventing the blade from touching her skin.
"So why do you have to do this? Linda, I still love you!" There was a deep desperation in her voice, her eyes wide, her breath ragged.
"Oh, now you love me! How convenient!" That anger felt almost foreign, it's been bottled up for so long, she had buried her emotions so deep, that now it was coming out all at once. She pushed the blade further, and Becky resisted, their hands locked in that stalemate.
"It's true, you know it is! And I know you still love me too! Look in my eyes and say you don't!" It was a direct challenge, and Linda couldn't say no to that.
She hasn't even noticed the fact that she's been avoiding Becky's eyes, but the reason for that became clear the moment she stared into them. Becky's eyes are like a trap for Linda, they've always been. They're like water, not just for that gorgeous color between blue and green, but because they called for Linda, they pushed her in, and they were so easy to drown into. So crystalline and deep she could swim in them forever. But unlike water, they were always clean and honest, Linda could see right through them and stare directly into her soul. And that's what made them so dangerous. Becky's soul is so good and pure, it's like a beacon of light, dragging Linda into it, making her want to be better, to be deserving of her.
Without even realizing, she stopped trying to push the blade forward. How could she do that to Becky?
Open her, Mommy! Wiggly's voice in her head brought her back to reality, to her duty and the magnitude of it.
"It doesn't matter. Love is not enough anymore, Becky. You'd have to accept my children to be with me. And I'm the mother of a God now!" There was an almost sad tone in her voice, and Linda scolded herself for letting that escape.
"Linda, this thing is not your child, and it's not a God! He's just a liar! We don't need this doll, Linda! We're right here, you and I, we can still escape this madness, forget all this..." Becky was nervous, desperate, it could be seen in the way she was talking fast and her palm was sweating. But she caught on Linda's hesitation, because there was also hope in her voice, in her eyes. Too bad it was a futile hope.
"You really don't understand, do you? It's not about escaping, there's no escaping for me. I'm the Prophet, the Mother, Wiggly needs me to enter this world. I'm right in the middle of this and you… you're an obstacle. You chose to be one, the moment you said no to Wiggly, and there's only one way to remove you now." Damn it, was she really making a villain monologue just to stall that outcome?
"Linda, you know you don't wanna kill me. You'd done it already if you wanted." of course Becky realised that. Linda hated how the redhead knew her so well.
"Aren't you paying attention? It doesn't matter what I want anymore." Her tone was sad again, and Becky frowned.
"So what was all this worth for?"
That question made her pause. Was it really worth it? To give away a part of her soul, to kill the woman she loved with her own hands? For what? And if she has to kill Becky now, what would happen to Gerald and the boys, once she could leave the mall? If they refused to bow to Wiggly too, would she have to do the same to them? Even though Wiggly promised to bring them back to her in the new world, the memory of their deaths would remain with her. Would it be worth it, to rule the world, with the weight of those deaths on her shoulders?
Do it alweady, Mommy! She wants to stall us. She wants to stop us. Cut her throatty open for her lies!
Yes, Wiggly was right. Becky was just putting doubts in her mind. If anyone could do this, it was Becky. She was the only one Linda had once let see behind her defenses, she knew all her weak spots, her insecurities and vulnerabilities, and it was foolish to think she wouldn't use it to save her own skin.
" Stop trying to manipulate me!" She snapped, trying to push the blade against the woman's neck again. "I will have everything once the world is reborn, and I'll do whatever it takes to get there!"
"So this is it? Is this how we end?" Becky's voice was weak, and Linda felt a lump in her throat when she saw the tears starting to fall down those watery eyes.
She took a deep breath and made an effort to harden herself inside. She had to focus on her goal, on the new world and what waited for them there.
"This is not the end, not for me. And I'll have you whole in the new world. This is just goodbye, for now."
She felt Wiggly's power over her, almost like a pressure on her hand, helping her to push further. But there was one thing she had to do first, one last time before there was no going back. Instead of pushing the blade, Linda leaned closer and took Becky's lips in hers. She half expected to be pushed away, but instead she was kissed back, and everything else faded.
The whole world became just the two of them, their mouths moving in perfect synchrony as if they were apart for only a day, instead of years. Her left hand went up to cup Becky's face, letting the Wiggly doll fall to the ground, forgotten. She felt his protests in the back of her mind, but he didn't matter right now, nothing mattered but them, and the feelings they were putting on that kiss, all those feelings that words were not able to express.
Becky's free hand went to the small of Linda's back, bringing her closer in such a warm and comfortable embrace, she felt her heart would explode. Never breaking the kiss, they pushed each other as close as they could, their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces, just like they used to. It felt right, in a way nothing else did. It was so easy to forget that, between their hands, whose fingers were intertwined, there was still a blade being held by them. They didn't allow themselves to acknowledge that, or anything beyond that kiss, where their hearts and bodies joined once more.
There was a fire in the kiss, as there was always some kind of fire between them, but this time it wasn't that mix of anger and desire that fed the flame, it was something else. Something that burned so deep it actually hurt, like blazing ember inside the holes in their souls, slowly collapsing into itself. They both knew that was their last kiss, and they took their time in it, savouring every bit, making every sensation last as long as it could, as they melted into each other, trying their best to fuse their souls together, if only that was possible.
For the first time that day, Linda felt her mind and soul completely free from Wiggly's influence. She was able to tune out his voice and saw with clarity that she didn't need him, she didn't need to destroy everything to have what she wanted. She's fooled herself to think she wanted to be adored, but as good as it was, no amount of people kissing her toes would ever compare to that single kiss. No, what she truly wanted was love, it always has been, and ever since she lost Becky's, she's been desperately looking for it elsewhere.
Her sons… Linda was so afraid that she wasn't good enough for their love. She hasn't been good enough for Becky's. But now, that kiss, there was so much in it... Of course the wounds were there, they would always be, but now she saw that healing wasn't impossible. Maybe she could help Becky to heal, maybe they could mend their love, maybe Becky could bring her to the light again, maybe this time she could be worthy of her love. And if so, she could be worthy of her sons too. And it all felt possible because, for maybe the first time in many years, Linda felt loved. Even after so much time, after so many mistakes, Becky still loved her, and that was all she needed to have hope. It would be hard to fix it all, there wasn't a magical solution, but it would be real.
Because, right there in Becky's arms, Linda was sure of one thing: Wiggly could never replicate that. That was love, in its purest form, and no amount of power could ever match it. The new Becky he'd create could never be anything more than a pale imitation. And the new world he promised would mean nothing without her. Linda wanted to turn back time, change everything she did that day, but that was impossible. She wanted to forget Wiggly, forget her cult, forget even Gerald, and just run away with Becky, stay forever in that embrace, but that was impossible too. Her connection with Wiggly was too deep, she could feel his power inside her, she couldn't forget him any more than she was able to forget one of her boys.
She was resisting, though. Pushing back with all her might just to keep that kiss going, just to spend one more second in her arms. But it couldn't last forever, even pulling strength from Becky's light, Linda wasn't able to keep out Wiggly's voice for so much longer. She could already hear him again, crying like an abandoned baby, appealing to whatever motherly instincts she had. But she shoved it to the back of her mind, focusing on Becky, the warmth that came from her, those soft lips against hers, the way she held her like she would never let her go… that was stronger than any God, at least for a while.
Linda's right hand unlocked her fingers from Becky's, the hands that were still holding the box opener between them. But instead of taking it, Linda pressed it in the redhead's palm and closed her fingers in a fist around it, making Becky hold the opener. It wasn't easy to do, she had to push against all her instincts and Wiggly's commands, but Linda didn't want to be with that blade in hand when her strength to resist faded. And it was fading quickly. Now with both hands free, she cupped Becky's face and pushed her even closer, deepening the kiss further, trying desperately to hold on to that moment.
She held it just a couple seconds longer, and then their lips parted. Linda fixed her gaze into those beautiful eyes, their faces still so close they could feel each other's breath.
"Save me." she whispered, with her last ounce of strength, her lips brushing against Becky's when they moved.
Linda thought she knew how it felt to say goodbye, she thought their breakup had hurt her enough that she'd be prepared for any pain. She was wrong. Having to kill the person she loved, especially after this goodbye kiss, it opened up a hole in her soul deeper than anything else. And only one thing could fill that hole. The very same thing that made it happen in the first place. Her God. Her child. She had to protect him, she had to ensure his victory, her victory, whatever it takes. She had to obey him, and he was getting impatient.
Linda wrapped her hands around Becky's neck.
****
She barely registered when Linda put the box opener in her hand, so immersed she was in that kiss. Their mouths moved together like they've never broken up, so right and comfortable, but at the same time all the scars and time apart could be felt in that kiss, all their regrets and fears, everything they left behind and all the reasons why they did it. And yes, all the love they still held, the one thing that kept Becky hoping all this situation could end better than it started. The thing that could save Linda, save them.
And as if she was reading her mind, that was exactly what Linda asked as soon as their lips parted. To save her. But before Becky could say anything, the woman's hands were on her neck, squeezing hard.
"Linda, stop it!" Her voice barely came out, and she felt the tears welling in her eyes.
There was no answer, only more pressure on her throat, and staring into Linda's brown eyes, all she saw was pain and that green glow. It was getting hard to breathe and Becky was suddenly overwhelmed by her worst memories. Her sight became blurry, maybe for the tears, or maybe because her mind was shot with those horrible flashbacks.
And as much as she tried not to, all she could do then was relive those memories as they flooded her without her consent. Being cornered, being choked, literally or not. Being helpless, defenseless, nothing to do besides take in the pain. The pain, the constant pain that started out on the surface and spread inward until it reached her soul and pierced it. And the fear, the ever present fear that took her heart in its claws and clenched it, that followed her everywhere, crippling, paralyzing.
It's been a year since she didn't feel that way, since she thought she'd never have to feel that again. And now it all got worse, because this time it was coming from someone she never expected to hurt her that way. Of course, her and Linda had hurt each other emotionally, but that didn't even compare. This was nothing like one of their fights. Actually, this was much more like that night in the forest, and that's why flashes of it kept coming back. Running in the dark, her ragged breath… a blink, she was in the storage room, hands around her neck… the memory of being pinned down on the mud, struggling to get out… now pinned on a wall, gasping for air. Then and now were tangled, the fear, the adrenaline, the heartache, everything was the same, yet different.
"Linda, please…" her voice didn't even come out this time, just a raspy breath, coated with tears.
But she knew pleading wouldn't work, it never did with him. She saw the forest again, his hands hard on her as she reached for the knife. The survival instincts overpowering the fear. She felt Linda's hands loosening on her neck, and at the same time her own hand moved, almost at its own accord, swinging the blade.
Then everything stopped, time went still.
Linda's hands left her to hold her own throat, and she took a step back, eyes wide, tears rolling down. Becky grasped for air in deep desperate breaths, but her eyes didn't leave the woman. She saw the blood leaking through Linda's pale fingers, as though she tried to hold the wound close. Their eyes locked on each other. There was no green glow in Linda's, just that warm brown Becky loved. And there was so much pain and sorrow in them! Becky couldn't see a monster then, or an evil cult leader, or even someone who was just now trying to kill her. All she saw was a small, fragile woman, someone she loved. They've hurt each other so much, and the broken pieces of their love laid on that stare.
"I… I'm sorry…" Becky breathed out, as the box opener fell from her quivering hand.
Linda shook her head slightly, making her frown. What did she mean by that? God, what did she mean? Becky's whole body was trembling so much now that she could barely stand. But it was Linda who was falling, her legs giving up as her body crumbled down. In the blink of an eye, Becky was getting down to catch her, sitting on the floor as she clutched the short woman in her arms. Which of them was shaking the most?
The blonde opened her mouth, her lips moving like she was trying to say something, but no sound came out, just a strangled breath and then a stream of blood as she choked on it. Becky's tears dropped on her, but that wasn't a fairy tale, her tears wouldn't heal anything. She wanted to say something too, some kind of goodbye, something to express how sorry she was that things had to end like that. But there were no words for it, nothing she could do except look into those eyes for the last time. Why were they always so hard to read? Linda took one of her hands away from the wound and reached up to touch her face, and her bloodied fingers tried to wipe away Becky's tears in a soft caress, even though it only made her cry harder, sobs filling her chest.
And then her hand dropped, and the light faded from her eyes. A loud cry echoed through the room, hoarse and piercing, and Becky barely realised it came from her. She just clutched Linda's body against her chest as tight as she could, letting out all the tears and sobs she's been holding. She didn't care about Wiggly, the cult, the world outside the mall, what would happen to her now, nothing mattered anymore. The only thing in her mind was Linda's lifeless body in her arms, and the knowledge of what she did.
What have I done? Oh God, what have I done? I killed her, I killed Linda! Is this what I became? What have I done? She had no choice, right? It was self defense, right? But Linda loosened her grip, just a split second, didn't she? Would she have backed away? Could it have gone any differently? Her last words… Save me. Was that what she meant? She gave Becky the blade... but was that what she wanted? Was there another way she could have saved her? Was there something else she could have done? Did she really have to kill her?
" I'm sorry, Linda, I'm sorry, I couldn't save you, I… What did you want from me? How was I supposed to save you? Why did you just put this on my hands like that, damn it?!?! How could you do this to me??? I loved you! I hate you! I hate you!" she was just mumbling between the sobs, still holding her body tightly in her arms.
How did they come to this? How does a love so strong can fall apart so many times, how can it hurt so much without ever dying? And even when everything is lost, she still can't let it go, how could she ever let her go? How could she live without her? How could she live with her heart torn in shreds? All that was left was that crushing sorrow and the maddening doubt: did she save Linda? Did she save the world? Or even herself?
She didn't feel like anything was saved.
She didn't feel anything.
There was nothing to save.