Archive of Our Own

When Itadori noticed a flower budding from his belly button, he freaked out and blamed Sukuna for doing more weird shit to his body. It looked funny—a little green stem that seemed to be planted in his belly.

“You obviously never cleaned there before I moved in.” Sukuna said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Itadori asked.

“Flowers grow in dirt.”

“Hah! They also need water to survive! So I do clean myself...did? I did clean myself?”

A rare curse had a strange effect on children born in its hospital. The curse’s power embedded flower seeds in a newborn’s belly, a seed that slowly would begin to grow and bloom when the child experienced love. As a result, some humans had flowers growing from their belly button.

“I was born in a cursed hospital? Do you think it has anything to do with me being a suitable vessel for you?”

“Really, I could care less, brat.” Sukuna swiveled slowly to stare at Itadori. He narrowed his eyes, keeping his lips in a firm line. “Be grateful for what you’re given.”

“That’s exactly what I thought you’d say. You could stand to be a little more helpful.” Itadori said, half-begging, half-protesting. He knew he often had no room to talk, especially when he was in Sukuna’s domain. But he needed answers to stuff, and asking Sukuna—in all his stubbornness—was the best course of action.

“If it really interests you that much, ask that annoying teacher of yours. I bet it will hit a nerve or two.”

A few years ago, jujutsu sorcerers were deployed to destroy the special-grade curse. They failed resulting in the death of ten sorcerers. The reason, the curses’ domain was too powerful, it fooled people with illusions of their loved ones. Granting happiness and peace as they slowly drifted off into a never-ending sleep. The curse became known as Love Trap for the unique look of a Venus Fly Trap.

“So long as the curse still lives...I’ll be stuck with this weird halfway-grown flower sprouting out of me!” Itadori shouted.

“Sprouting out of us.” Sukuna corrected. “On the bright side, only those with cursed energy can see it.”

“That’s why I couldn’t see it before.” Itadori blinked. He placed a hand above the little green nub. “A bunch of people have ‘em. That’s so cool! I wonder what mine will be when it blooms. I wonder how other people’s flowers look!”

“You’re funny, sometimes kid.” Sukuna chuckled, cold and cruel. “You know the phrase, love hurts?” His mouth quirked up in one corner. “This curse is its literal meaning. Don’t think just because it takes the form of a seemingly harmless flower it’s some type of free body art.”

The little sprout didn’t do much, every day it looked the same. It never wilted or never bloomed. A little green bud nestled inside him—Itadori often checked up on it after training to see if it bent or got smashed. The little thing was stubborn for sure, perhaps it was due to the sun. Flowers needed the sun, right?

The sun was so beautiful and so evil. It was still too warm for it to be the afternoon. Every so often there was a cool breeze against his shirt; not the sun’s killer rays baking the earth. He had to stop every ten minutes for a swig of water. Sweet relief would cool his throat and his hands would touch something that didn’t feel like it had been heated up too long in a microwave.

“Gojo Senpai! This cooler is really amazing!” Itadori opened the cooler. He pushed around the ice surrounding the soda cans and bottles. Much better. Colder. Chills traveled up his arm as he welcomed the temporary relief. His hand bumped against another storage compartment. “You can put so much ice in here!”

“I bought it on sale too! It was such a cheap steal.” Gojo was the only one who didn’t seem too bothered by the heat. He’d only wipe sweat from his brow occasionally or stick a limb in the cooler for a quick blast.

“You call everything you buy a cheap steal.” Fushiguro said.

“Fushiguro, you know you like it.” Gojo grinned. “You dropped a water in there.”

“It’s burning up out here.”

“Sounds like an excuse to not admit that you like it.” 

“Well, I for one, love it! I can store my smoothies in one compartment. My shakes in another.” Nobara sipped on her smoothie as sweat rolled from her forehead. Her right hand lazily spun her hammer, round and round. Sip. Round. She put down her drink and clutched the rubber grip with a bit more confidence. “This is simply amazing!”

“I know right!” Itadori shouted. “Amazing!” He pulled out a halfway filled bottle of water. Oddly there were two with the same brand name. He eyeballed the water level between them both.

This one was probably his.

Itadori took off the cap and sipped. This… He smacked his lips, putting back on the cap. There was this aftertaste of tea. Mint? Why did it taste like mint tea? He sat on the curb dumbfounded.

“Itadori observe Nobara’s stance. You could learn from that.” Gojo pointed.

“I can?” Itadori looked at Nobara.

“Yeah. Because she does what you don’t.” Fushiguro used a towel to wipe the sweat from his face. “You should watch your back more.” He sat on the curb beside him, his eyes looked tired from their hours of training, as a breeze rustled his black hair.

“Eh?” Itadori wiped the side of his mouth. “Why would I worry about that, when someone is always behind me?”

“Because what if it’s like last time and we can’t be there to back you up. You’ll have to handle dangerous situations by yourself.”

“Well next time can’t you just—“

“No, Shikigami all the time. You might get deployed on a mission by yourself.” Fushiguro’s voice always sounded firm and slightly aggravated, but this time there seemed to be hints of concern. His face didn’t show it though—his head faced forward to watch Nobara still practicing.

“What’s the fun in that if you, Nobara, and Gojo sensei aren’t there?”

“This isn’t supposed to be fun. You could seriously get hurt or die again, idiot.”

Itadori didn’t know what to say. He was supposed to die at the end of this anyway. If it happened earlier or after, he still made an impact, right? His eyes drifted to Fushiguro’s hands. If maybe he had a cooler cursed energy, he could summon stuff. Those hands were so powerful.  He wanted to hold them: How did they feel? Probably a bit sweaty. Would they be soft? He squeezed the water bottle in his hand, listening to the plastic pop in and out of place. His brain felt in and out of place, sometimes he couldn’t stop thinking about holding Fushiguro’s hand. It was so weird. He usually only thought about that kind of thing around girls with...

“Just hand me, my water.”

“Your water?”

“The one in your hand. You were moving it to reach your own, right?” Fushiguro gestured to the bottle in Itadori’s hand.

Reach his own? Was that why the water tasted… Itadori felt his mind draw a blank. Oh crap.

“Is all the heat getting to you?” Fushiguro snatched his water bottle back. His. That was HIS! He unscrewed the cap, bringing the bottle to his mouth.

Itadori gulped. He could still taste the mint on his tongue. Why did his lips suddenly feel all tingly? He slowly rolled his tongue over them. His heart was beating so fast. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. Hold it together.

“Put some ice on your forehead, you are looking kinda red.” Fushiguro took a sip from the bottle.

Did Fushiguro taste him? Would Fushiguro get pissed? Itadori sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, savoring the flavor.

“Did you hear me? Or are you gonna keep looking funny?”

“Is the water good?” Itadori blurted.

Fushiguro pulled the water a good distance away from his lips. He looked the plastic bottle up and down, before lowering it to inspect Itadori’s face. “It’s water.”

Itadori opened his mouth, then slowly closed it. 

“The same brand of water you have in the cooler.”

Itadori nodded.

“The same brand you’ve been sipping on for hours.”

No. Itadori had been sucking on Fushiguro for hours.

“All I’m saying is,” Fushiguro screwed the top back on his water. “You should know what it tastes like.” He tossed the bottle back into the cooler.

In the middle of the night, sometimes in the middle of the day, the sprout was growing. Itadori could feel it. A tingling feeling numbed his lower body as roots wiggled under his skin. He imagined it was like worms crawling through dirt—the curse taking hold of him—tickling his sides, sending a pulsing feeling, like a punch to his gut. He’d whimper sometimes and hiss at the random dose of pain.

He couldn’t focus in class. All the words were staring back at him with the same intensity he did them. All his teachers seemed to be speaking some kind of foreign language. There was no point in him staying.

Well at least that’s what he told himself.

Now he was regretting it and was sure what “he” told himself was really “Sukuna” manipulating him and being an asshole.

He picked up the speed of his run, the container full of painkillers bounced in his hoodie pocket. Make it back before training. Long as he made it back, nobody would probably care that he was— damn it! He felt a sharp pain in his stomach. It made his breath hitch as he balled his left hand into a fist. Deep breaths. He considered taking another pill, but if he used them up his hooky trip to the store would be useless.

“When do they start kicking in?” He pulled out the container, squinting to read the fine print. Was that five or ten minutes? He needed them now. 

He shoved the pills back in his pocket as he climbed across the school gate. Left foot, Right foot. His hand shifted a bit as he dug his fingers over the top, trying to pull himself up. His stomach wouldn’t stop aching. Focus. Focus. Up.

“Are you trying to climb the fence? You could have just walked through the entrance.”

“Fushiguro?” Itadori thought he was going delusional from pain for a few seconds. “You skipped class?” He swung his body over the gate.

“You skipped class?” Fushiguro kept calmly walking.

Itadori landed next to his friend and dusted his hands off. “No fair. I asked you first.” He pulled out his phone to check the time—just now the end of classes for the day. Fushiguro was sweating like he had walked back from being in the city. “Besides, not like I’ll tell. We were both caught red-handed!”

“You were caught.” Fushiguro moved his headphones from over one ear. “I’m just on my way to training.” He held up a bottle of water as if to prove his innocence.

“This early? Nobara has the class closest to the practice field. She usually gets there first.” 

“Well, I’m not there yet am I?”

“Nope cause you’re near the gate like me! Ya gonna tell me what ya were up to, Fushiguro?” Itadori speed up a bit to walk alongside him.

“I had something I needed to do. So I did it.”

“Ooo~Mysterious!”

“It’s not.”

Itadori clicked his tongue, for some odd reason his heart was racing. Was he nervous? Why was he…

Silence.

His stomach seemed to knot up even more. It was so much easier to talk to Fushiguro with everyone else around. What should he say? He pointed at his shoes.

“Really need to clean these.”

Fushiguro didn’t even glance in his direction.

Shit! He fucked up! The vibe was—

“You don’t have to make small talk with me. We’re cool. Just enjoy the moment of hanging together.”

Vibe saved!

Itadori saw the field come into view. Gojo Senpai was sitting on the cooler and waving. Nobara was typing on her phone and glanced up to smile. He put a little more pep in his step.

“You guys are pretty early.” Nobara placed her phone in her backpack.

“Not a bad thing, right?” Fushiguro asked.

“Shocked.” Nobara tilted her head and gave a lopsided grin, “and pleased. I hate waiting in the heat.”

The heat...that was probably making his belly ache more! It was hot outside and Itadori had been feeling warm all over, specifically in his stomach. The knotted nervous feeling had fled, leaving only a naggy ache. He groaned. Stupid useless pills.

“I haven’t even told you what you’re working on today and you’re already complaining?” Gojo stood up. “Am I that boring of a teacher?”

“Sorry, sensei!” Itadori unclenched his teeth. He managed to muster a small smile. “You’re awesome!” He tried to push down the cramping in his stomach. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. He darted his eyes around, trying to find something to take his mind off the pain.

Gojo seemed to beam with pride for a few seconds. He had an overly joyful look on his face, that was kinda funny and didn’t match his age.

“Don’t boost his ego that much, he’ll expect praise from us too!” Nobara tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You guys are my precious students. Are you telling me you don’t hold me to high regard?”

“When you make faces like that you only make it easier for me to say no.”

“Fushiguro,” Gojo waved. “My loyal fav—“

“I’d rather not be dragged into this guilt trip.” Fushiguro opened the cooler and buried his water bottle in a tomb of ice.

Itadori kept his eyes focused on him. The sight seemed to ease any trouble from his mind. Fushiguro ran a lazy hand through his hair and tossed his backpack to the side. So cool. He didn’t know how, but Fushiguro always did things with this unknowing elegance. He noticed when he first met him, how when summoning his fingers would move quickly and accurately, how when talking his words wouldn’t be minced. There was this certain vibe from him like he was always on edge and snappy— not because he’s done too much, but because he's done too little of what makes him happy.

“Aw, I knew you guys cared. You’re the best students I could have asked for.” Gojo pulled out his phone. He stepped in front of them and angled the phone camera. “Group pic!”

Stars. For a few seconds, stars are all Itadori can see. He frantically ran his trembling fingers over his abs. Stop.Stop.Stop.Please! He just wanted the pain to go away. His fingers brushed up against the flower. It was…

“Itadori.” Gojo called.

“Eeeh? Yes!” Itadori snapped back into attention, by the time his vision returned to normal the empty space was quickly occupied near his face.

“You’re supposed to smile for the camera.” Gojo grinned.

Itadori felt a hand press against his stomach. Gojo’s? For some reason he got a weird rush of soft pleasure, almost languid, like relaxing on the beach on a beautiful day. He got an urge to grab Gojo’s hand and hold it there. Savor the moment. Savor the relief. Sukuna must have been forcing his arms to stay glued to his side. His expression congealed then melted into horror as Gojo removed his hand.

No. Don’t do that. Put it back.

“Let’s try that again without any sour faces.” Gojo held his phone up once more.

Please put it back.

The phone was more like an invisible gun—come on smile. You’re only going to die soon, smile. You could die tomorrow, smile. Don’t you want people to remember you smiling?

Itadori did. He did so much it hurt. It really hurt to smile.

“I’m going to do warm-up laps.” Fushiguro stretched, the hem of his shirt slightly rose to reveal a slither of skin. “Tap me when the training really starts.” He pulled his headphones over his ears.

“You run with headphones on?” Nobara peeked over Fushiguro’s shoulder. “What are you listening to?”

“Yeah, play it out loud so you can stay here. We all want to listen!” Gojo nodded. “Plus you’re vital to the picture in the moment.”

Fushiguro covered his phone. “I wouldn’t be able to hear anything because you’re all too loud.” He barged ahead, his hand brushing against Itadori in the process.

Itadori thought it felt good when Gojo Senpai rubbed his belly, it was nothing compared to when Fushiguro did. The pressure and physical contact soothed the ache. A strange blissed-out feeling blanked his mind. He was on cloud nine for a second as he mellowed out, lost inside paradise, dark and silent and complete.

“Hey! Anyone awake in there?” 

Itadori felt something knocking against his forehead. He blinked twice—Nobara was knocking—random colors combined back into shapes as reality returned. “Huh?”

“You good?” Nobara asked.

“Uh...yeah?”

“I called your name ten times.”

“Sorry. My mind drifted to...other things?”

“Gojo sensei said we’re running partners today since Fushiguro is being a dick.” Nobara crossed her arms. Her expression softened a bit as she studied him. “Get some water first.”

Itadori was going to reject, but he remembered Fushiguro had taken off running and left his water in the cooler.

“Heh, what’s up with that stupid look?”

Stupid? Was this feeling stupid? Itadori just really really wanted to steal a sip. Plus he should drink more water. Flowers needed water. His lily probably liked Fushiguro’s water the best. Why else would he be... craving?

“I’m just messing with you.” Nobara gestured to a nice green patch of grass. “I’ll be stretching over there when you’re ready.”

Itadori knelt down and opened the cooler. His ears tuned to ensure that the sound of footsteps was getting further and further away. No witness. He sank his arm into the chilly ice. Totally didn’t need to pick up Fushiguro’s water; just wanted to.

The moments between actually finding the water bottle and opening it was a blur, but the flavor rolling down his throat soothed his nerves. Yes. Mmm...Yes. He chugged down the cool liquid.

“Really kid?”

Itadori felt the skin on his hand start to mold and reshape. “Fuck!” He freaked, dropping the water bottle back in the cooler before a tongue could lick against the plastic. 

Two eyes popped out under his fingers as the skin spread a bit wider to accommodate the mouth forming a smirk. “I have a front row seat to witness the train wreck you call your life and I’ve never seen sadder shit than this.”

“Wha-wha...what are you talking about?” Itadori sputtered out. He had finally built up the confidence to take another sip! Why the heck was…? He stared at Sukuna’s makeshift face on his palm. “I didn’t do anything. I just drank water. Humans need water. My flower needs water.”

“Who’s water did you drink?” Sukuna sounded almost smug about it.

“Water is water.” Itadori said. It was the same brand. It was from the same place. There should be no...

“Until it's opened and sipped.”

“Sukuna, what do you want from me?”

“Other than complete control of your body?”

Itadori started to close the cooler.

“Ok— Wait —Ugh! I know you did not just shove my face into the space where Gojo’s ass just was.” Sukuna hissed.

Itadori glared at Sukuna. “Do you always come out just to hurt me?”

“No. I wanted to say something.” Sukuna clicked his tongue. “Brat, you’re pathetic. But you’re my pathetic vessel, so I’ll help whenever I feel fit.” His face faded away as Itadoir’s skin molded back into regular position.

“Hey what does that mean?”

No response.

“Tired already?” Gojo shouted over at him.

“No way!” Itadori turned away from the cooler. “I’m about to go stretch right now!”

The reflection in the mirror was human. His hair, his face, his chest, his arms, his legs. Human. Or just an illusion of being perfectly normal. Light tended to play games like that, by hiding shadows behind objects. Itadori lifted his shirt up, the image reflected in the mirror changed to be less human-like and more curse.

“It’s changing.” He noticed the flower had begun to bloom. The once green-colored bud had now changed to all pink, and some of its petals seemed to be slowly spreading open.

His body was changing.

Most kids when they go through puberty grew hair around their belly button—Itadori grew roots that twisted and turned, their translucent green color visibly pulsed under his skin.

“A lily.” Another mouth appeared on his cheek—Sukuna.

“That’s the flower it will grow into?” Itadori knew a little about flowers. He brought bouquets in for his grandpa many times, but never really paid attention in the flower shop to any names, just on flowers that looked nice. “Aren’t there different types of lilies?”

“Obviously. You’ll see when it fully blooms.” Sukuna said.

A knock came on his door.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Nobara’s voice filled the air. She knocked again. “Sukuna isn’t doing weird shit is he? Tell him to come out so I can beat the snot out of him.”

“Tch…I have no interest in fighting weaklings lik—“

Itadori covered his cheek. “Go away, already. I’m about to let her in.”

“Just don’t start complaining when you’re in pain.”

“Itadori!” Nobara knocked once more. “Are you talking to that bastard? Did he do something to you?”

Itadori fixed his shirt. “I’m fine.” He was surprised how easily the lie came out of his mouth. He’d never been one to sugarcoat the truth before. “You can come in.” He slapped his cheek, ensuring Sukuna’s disappearance.

“You sure?” The door creaked open and Nobara stepped inside. “You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“What do you—“

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed. Well not just me, all of us. We’re worried about you.”

Those words, they hurt. Not because they were mean, but because there was so much kindness in them. When was the last time he felt like this? A good feeling and not nervous when talking to people? He felt relaxed, like he could be himself. The last time had to be with his grandpa. Even still...his grandpa never bluntly stated anything this kind.

Nobara fixed her lip gloss and took a seat on his bed. She clasped her hands together, her sight seemed to be glued to Itadori’s every move. “Come here.” She patted the space beside her.

Itadori turned away from the mirror. He walked over and took a seat on his bed. “What’s up?”

“I should be asking you that. You missed a few classes.” Nobara said. “And it’s not like you missed them because you were doing anything productive.” She picked up one of his dirty shirts and tossed it in his clothes hamper.

“Really? Did you come to help me clean?”

“You know you weren’t cleaning!”

“Right.” Itadori glanced around his messy room. A mess just like his brain, just like his feelings, just like his blurred line between life and death. “What if you get this feeling? At first it’s really good then it slowly starts to sting till it’s unbearable.”

“Does the feeling come and go?”

“Yes. And...and it usually happens when someone does something.”

“In that case it’s easy to solve, tell those people to buzz off because they’re a negative influence in your life.”

“Also when I do something!”

“Then stop doing that, something.”

Itadori felt his tongue grow heavy, words resting on it he dared not speak, “Give me an option that doesn’t include losing you guys.” He wished it was that easy. He was like a drug addict willing to get wasted another time just for the thrill of the high, despite knowing the permanent long term effect.

“It’s okay to not be strong enough to do something that needs to be done.” Nobara’s eyes seemed to glaze over as if a sad memory had arisen. She quickly blinked. “Long as you keep trying.”

Itadori tried to smile, but his lips refused to curve. He fell back on his bed, his legs dangling over the edge as he stared up at the ceiling. He took one of Nobara’s hands and placed it over his belly.

“What’s that?” Nobara raised a brow.

“A something I don’t feel like explaining right now.”

Nobara nodded and shyly pulled her hand back.

“Is he sick?” Fushiguro appeared at the door.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Itadori moved his hands around, searching for a pillow to throw. “This is between me and Nobara!” 

“Under normal circumstances, I would care less.” Fushiguro stepped inside. “But because it’s you, I’ll have to figure it out for myself then.”

Itadori took a long breath. His fingers clenched tighter to his bed sheets as Fushiguro stepped closer. The heat swirling in his stomach seemed to be sparking up into a fire. He nuzzled Nobara’s arm, “Hand?” his voice sounded rasp almost pleading.

“Let’s see.” Fushiguro slipped between Itadori’s legs as if to get a closer view. He had a nonchalant lean with his backpack hanging over one shoulder. “Did you eat something you weren’t supposed to or are Sukuna’s fingers finally doing you in?”

Itadori felt his face heat up. So close. He could smell Fushiguro’s cologne. He was thankful when Nobara moved her hand to gently rub his stomach. The pain eased, but his heart kept pounding with the same speed as before, when Fushiguro was walking with him.

“Your face is red. Fever maybe?” Fushiguro's expression hardened.

“Maybe.” Nobara started rubbing a circular pattern around Itadori’s belly button. “I don’t know much myself.” 

Fushiguro reached downwards, his hands gripping the bottom of Itadori’s t-shirt. Itadori freaked and thrashed, kicking his foot into Fushiguro’s leg. No. No. The cold air tickled his skin, then his shirt dropped back to its previous position.

“Screw off!”

“What’s your deal? I was checking to make sure you weren’t hurt anywhere.”

Itadori jerked his head to the side in shame and embarrassment. It was none of Fushiguro’s business. He noticed Nobara’s backpack near the side of his bed. It was none of her business either… But they both had come to check up on him, when he didn’t go to class. They both cared enough to… He felt his stomach tighten.

“Okay no!” Nobara quickly pulled her hand back. “Why does it feel like something is moving under yo—?”

“You guys don’t have to treat me like a little kid!” Itadori grit his teeth through the pain. “I know how to handle myself!”

“Yeah and you handle yourself like a little kid.”

Itadori sat up and crossed his arms.

“Are you coming to class or not?” Fushiguro asked.

“No.”

Fushiguro turned to take his leave. “Nobara?” 

“I’m going to stay around and give this blockhead a tummy rub for a bit longer.” Nobara poked at Itadori’s side. “But I’ll be there soon.”

There was a voice in Itadori’s head telling him to tell someone. What if it killed him? Curses were supposed to kill people. Or more importantly... how would it kill him? He walked down the halls feeling like a ticking time bomb. A beautiful flower bomb in his belly, slowly blooming to go BOOM!

The not knowing was the scary part.

Itadori had his hoodie over his head and counted the number of steps it took him to reach Gojo. He was on number one-hundred thirty, but plenty of times he lost count when the roots twisted and turned digging into his flesh—like fresh stitches that shouldn’t be messed with. He had bitten his bottom lip...five times, each time accidentally drawing blood. The rustic flavor grew numb on his tongue. He had bled out before, losing blood was easy...but he wondered how much blood a person could ingest before getting sick.

“Sensei?” He slowly slid open the door.

Gojo tossed a stack of papers on the table. “What’s up?”

“You weren’t doing anything important, right?” Itadori took baby steps inside the room.

“As my student you’re pretty important too.” Gojo gave a thumbs up. 

Itadori felt like he just got verbally punched in the gut. He staggered, trying to find the grooves to slide the door back closed.

“Ah, my bad. I suppose I shouldn’t say nice things like that. Force of habit.” Gojo said.

“You think?” Itadori almost doubled over in a ball. “Wait...how...you’ve known?”

“Of course, but I figured if you were strong enough to be Sukuna’s vessel you would be strong enough to handle this.”

“I’m not some kind of free comical theater for you!”

“There, there. You’d know I’d step in if I thought things would take a turn for the worst.”

“This isn’t the worst of it?”

Gojo’s playful expression seemed to darken. “When you die from the people who love you, that’s the worst of it.” He drew his lower lip between his teeth. “When their love kills but you feel nothing but bliss. A terrible curse really.” He picked up his pen, clicking it almost anxiously. “You won’t die, Itadori. I’ve been monitoring your condition. But the slower your flower blooms the more painful it will be for you.”

Itadori slumped against the wall. “So...how do I…”

“Speed up the process? That’s easy. You just have to kiss the person who you love the most.”

“Are you kidding me?” Itadori almost choked on air as he stumbled over his words. “So-so...some true love fairy princess magic crap breaks the curse?” He tried to make a joke out of it.

It wasn’t funny.

Nobody smiled.

Maybe the spiral to rock bottom wasn’t supposed to be funny.

“Not break it. But once your flower blooms, if you beat death, then you win.” Gojo smiled almost hopefully. “And you get free flower body art!”

Or maybe it could be?

“The price is my emotions.” Itadori fluttered his fingers over his growing flower. He never had a problem expressing his feelings, he’d always been a straightforward person. But he was pretty sure the person who he...could he call it love? He was sure he just kinda liked…

“Fushiguro.” Gojo whispered the name like it was a secret between them.

“Well he!” Itadori shoved his face in his hands. “The things he tells me. That’s just it, okay? He has a way with words and making me feel like…” He wasn’t sure how he felt. But Fushiguro made his insides warm and fuzzy, made his lips want to stay curved up in a smile.

“He vouched to save you. He will never admit it, but that’s why when he thought you died it hurt him so much.” Gojo said. “When you love someone you want them to live a long happy life. He’s just mad because you don’t understand that.”

“Love? I’m not sure if it’s that deep.” Itadori peeked through the cracks of his fingers.

Gojo raised his fingers in the air. “Caring, kindness, support, affection, all just subcategories under one word, one feeling.” He held up a single finger. “Love.”

Was that really the strange sensation? But it was the same as how Itadori felt around...

“Overcome this, so you can hang around for a bit longer. You’ve got to finish eating all of Sukuna’s fingers, right?” Gojo patted Itadori’s shoulders as if for good luck. “It’s something only you can do.”

A floral smell was coming from Itadori. He noticed a few nights ago, the more his flower opened up the sweeter and stronger the scent. In public, heads would turn in his direction as if charmed by the pleasant smell. People would smile at him a little more nicely, sometimes give a wave. He tried to cover it up, but no matter how much cologne and deodorant, he still smelled like a human flower shop. It was so embarrassing.

Itadori shoved his hands in his jacket pocket, trying to feel around for his room key. He knew he should have just stayed inside today. He should probably just stay in his room until he found a way to get rid of the pain and the smell. He felt a shoulder bump against him. The force sent him to his knees, trying to grab the key from the floor. “Not cool!” He jerked his head up, “What’s your de—“ He lowered his voice a bit, “Fushiguro?”

“My bad.” Fushiguro knelt down. “I didn’t think you’d scare that easily.” He picked up Itadori’s room key.

“Is that anyway to treat your room neighbor?” Itadori snatched the key from his hand. He tried to ignore the way his heartbeat quickened as his hand touched Fushiguro. It was only for a brief second. Why was he getting all worked up? Was his face red? He pressed a hand on his forehead.

“What are you doing?”

Itadori blinked, lowering his hand. “Nothing.”

“I mean,” Fushiguro stood and pointed. “In there.”

Itadori rose to his feet. His eyes followed the length of Fushiguro’s arm. “My room?” He cut his eyes back at Fushiguro—his nonchalant expression wasn’t giving any elaboration. “I sleep.” He tilted his head and stepped closer. “What are you doing in your room?”

“Well.” Fushiguro’s eyes widened a bit as if the action had caught him off guard. “Just...it’s…” He crossed his arms, his voice dropping to less than a whisper.

“What was that?” Itadori took another step, leaning inwards. “I didn’t hear.”

“You smell funny.” Fushiguro blurted.

“Funny?”

“I said what I said. Don’t make me spell it out for you!” Fushiguro’s face seemed to redden. He shyly tucked his hands to his sides. “You or just...just..the room. Your room only. It’s so uhh...funny wasn’t the right word. Interesting? Good?” His eyes settled on Itadori. “I could smell it all the way in my room. It travels through the vents.”

Itadori touched his face. He could feel himself smiling and hear himself laughing. Fushiguro had moments when he got uncertain, too. Fushiguro sometimes couldn’t find the right words, too. Fushiguro was really kind of… “Interesting.” He said.

Fushiguro looked at him blankly.

“You’re interesting, Fushiguro.” Itadori felt his smile double in size. For sure, Fushiguro wasn’t that good with words. But overall, Fushiguro had liked his smell. Nobody had the guts to tell him that.

Fushiguro shrugged. He put a hand on his backpack strap and headed for his room door.

“Thanks for worrying!” Itadori shouted. It pained him to say—he felt the lily spread open a little wider as if it wanted to see the sun...as if it wanted to see Fushiguro. He bit his bottom lip and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on keeping his smile from disappearing.

“It’s not funny.”

Itadori opened his eyes as the sound of footsteps stopped.

Fushiguro glanced over his shoulder, “The idea of losing you again isn’t funny.” His forehead puckered as if irritated as his lips curved in a frown. “Don’t laugh like this pain you’re in is some kind of joke.”

Itadori swallowed down tears. “Pain? I have no idea what you’re—“

“I can hear it in your voice.”

Silence.

“Don’t deny it.” 

Itadori felt himself get shoved against the wall. Then two hands roughly squeeze his shoulders, only to force him downwards.

“You put others before yourself. Sometimes I think you want to die too badly.” Fushiguro pinned Itadori against the wall. “Even when you were dying you...you had that stupid smile on your face.” He grit his teeth. “How am I supposed to know if it’s genuine or not if you always wear it?”

“My bad.” Itadori croaked. A stinging feeling hit the corner of his eyes. Water? The world was getting blurry. “It’s just that being around you guys always makes me really happy. And the words you said to me…”

“Don’t give me that sappy bullshit.” Fushiguro snapped. “I don’t want tears. I want the truth. So dry your eyes and talk to me.”

Talk? Itadori didn’t know what to say. He was happy. Oh God, sometimes he was happy. When Gojo Sensei, Nobara, and Fushiguro were around. They would laugh and joke. He was happy. Fushiguro was still here. He should be happy? He felt tears rolling down his cheeks—sad. Oh, God, he was sad. He sniffled.

         In. 

In.

          Out through the mouth.

Breathing exercises? Or were those kissing exercises? He couldn’t figure out. His brain was running in circles. Fushiguro, in all his beauty, was breathing heavily over him. 

“Ah, shit.” Fushiguro’s grip on Itadori’s shoulders seemed to weaken. “Sorry.” He started to pull back as if lost for words.

Itadori wiped tears from his eyes. “You told me, I had to learn to handle dangerous situations by myself.” He just wanted to prove that he could handle himself. He wanted to prove he could do this. “So I didn’t want to tell you or Nobara. I thought you guys would be proud of me.”

Fushiguro opened his mouth, then closed it. His shoulders slumped as understanding flashed in his eyes. “Am I an idiot?”

“Huh?”

“Or are you really that much of an idiot that it’s making me feel like one?”

Itadori sniffled. “Can...can it be both?”

“Only if it will make you do this.” Fushiguro smiled.

It was a rare sight to see, Itadori felt tempted like Goji Senpai to take a picture to forever remember that expression on Fushiguro’s face.

“Only smile for me if you really mean it, though.” Fushiguro said.

“You’re treating me like a little kid again!” Itadori blubbered out.

“Then stop crying,” Fushiguro paused, his smile seemed to grow. “Baby.” He whispered into Itadori’s ear.

Okay. Itadori was sure that his heart just skipped a few beats.

“Tell me what I can do to help you feel better.”

“But…”

“We’re not on a mission. And I’m right here.”

“Fushiguro.” Itadori took Fushiguro’s hand. He shyly intertwined their fingers together. “Thanks.”

Fushiguro blushed and rolled his eyes. “Do you always randomly let people give you tummy rubs and hold their hands?”

“Nah. Only people special to me.” Itadori felt the tension in his stomach slightly ease. His head was starting to hurt less. “Your hands are kinda soft.”

“And yours aren’t.” Fushiguro leaned inward, taking a deep breath. “But…” He took another breath. “You smell delightful. That makes up for it.” He inhaled and exhaled a few more times as if to show Itadori how breathing exercises were properly done.

“I’ve always thought about holding hands with you and wondered what you'd say, but I don’t think that ever crossed my mind.” Itadori said.

“You think about holding hands with me?” Fushiguro sounded a bit surprised.

“Yes! Ah! Well...umm...is it weird?”

“Does it make you happy?” 

“Yes!” Itadori felt the confirmation roll of his tongue in time with Fushiguro squeezing his hand. Slight rub. His thumb moved up and down. Hesitation. One more squeeze. He stole a glance at Fushiguro’s lips. “I think about something else too.”

“GO FOR IT YOU FOOL.” Sukuna roared.

“Who was?” Fushiguro let go of Itadori’s hand. “Was that just Suk— MMM! “

Itadori slammed his mouth over Fushiguro’s. He was surprised when Fushiguro kissed him back. It was only for a few seconds, sharing the same breath with each other. So hot. So soft. Delicate? The kiss was so light and airy. He barely caught a quick taste of mint.

Fushiguro pulled away, ran a lazy hand through Itadori’s hair, and groaned. “Damn. It’s hard to stay upset at you.”

“Please, don’t be. I don’t know if I love you yet, Fushiguro!” Itadori could feel the heat swirling low, like a volcano ready to erupt. Everything felt funny—like his body wasn’t his own. Was that his voice? “But I...I like like you!” 

He was drowning.

Drowning in feelings he didn’t understand but wanted to so badly.

“What’s love got to do with it?” Fushiguro’s voice was starting to sound further and further away. “I mean...I do hope you like me, at least. You did just kiss me.”

“Death isn’t the only thing that scares me. So...so…“ Itadori felt his tongue grow heavy in his mouth. He remembered this feeling—the fear, the helplessness, then finally the acceptance. He touched his face. Only this time the smile was real. “Soooodoeslov—” His words slurred together in a bunch of incoherent sounds as the world fell into a dark silence.

Itadori was sure he was dead. He had died before and was no stranger to the thoughts running through his mind— his memories. That’s what books don’t tell you, when you die your life flashes before your eyes, but only the bad parts. 

Only regrets. 

Only sadness.

He didn’t remember much about his parents. They were never really in his life. Growing up he’d see children his age walking with their parents or talking behind their back about how mean and unfair they were for letting them go somewhere or not buying them something. He made up for that conversation gap by talking about his grandpa. But maybe deep down he wondered what it was like to have a family...A big one. He wondered what it was like to fight with a sibling or get poked fun at by a parent boasting about his good grades.

When he was with his team, he experienced all of that. Bickering. Affection. Teasing. Concern. Many more actions he couldn’t describe.

One big loving family.

Filled with so much stuff he wanted, experienced, and too easily let go. Sometimes, he wished that feelings could be caught and never let go. But that would transform those feelings into a curse—just like the one he had now, the curse of love.

“You sure he’s not dead?” That voice sounded like Nobara’s.

But that was impossible. Any second now this darkness would fade, he’d wake up in Sukuna’s domain and be forced to watch the curse run wild.

“I’m ninety-nine point eight percent sure.” That was definitely Gojo Sensei. 

Oh yeah...Gojo said he wouldn’t die. So why did this ocean of emotions feel like a watery grave? Everything was so dark. But… warm?

Death didn’t feel like that before.

“THERE IS A POINT TWO PERCENT CHANCE?”

“Fushiguro’s kiss did trigger the final stages of the curse after all.”

Itadori felt warm...a sign of life. 

“How was I supposed to know? He...that idiot really did fight a curse all by himself!” That voice was Fushiguro.

Good to hear everyone. Good to hear they’re joking around as usual. He wanted to join in. He wanted to have more fun. He wanted to—

“His eyes are open!” Nobara shouted. 

Itadori blinked upwards, brown hair and delighted eyes hovered above his face. “Nobara?” He stared past her to see the source of the warmth, a slightly larger hand resting over his own. “Fushiguro?” He rubbed his eyes. “Am I in the weird room with the crazy lady trying to chop me up again?”

Nobara raised a brow. “What weir—“

“Nope. You’re in the infirmary.” Gojo stepped into view.

Itadori released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was okay. The cramps in his stomach seemed to have disappeared. He inhaled his floral scent.

“So how’d we do?” Fushiguro asked, rubbing his thumb gently against Itadori’s knuckles.

Itadori felt his body slowly melt back into the blankets. It was so nice. Pleasing to feel his hand being held like a trophy to be prized. He lazily lifted up his shirt.

In the place of his belly button, there was a pretty pink colored flower with bright white edges and dotted dark spots. The flower rose and fell as he breathed in and out—smooth petals rubbing against his skin.

“A pink stargazing lily.” Nobara flashed an article on her phone. “They symbolize prosperity and abundance.”

Oh. Itadori glanced at his friends. Prosperity and abundance, huh? He really was a lucky bastard. “Be honest...You saved my life again, Sukuna?”

“I have my own reasons for doing so.” Sukuna said.

“Even you too then.” Itadori touched the delicate flower. So lustrous and waxy. “Everyone thanks for helping it grow!” He felt a smile spread on his face. A real one. A reflection of his heart. “I didn’t know how much I was missing out on till I met you guys.”

“It WASN'T FOR YOU.” Sukuna spoke a bit aggressively.

“Okay!” Gojo clapped his hands together. “Now all that’s left is to make sure it doesn’t wilt.”

“How should I nourish it? Should I take more showers and give it fertilizer or something?” Itadori was almost scared to keep touching. The lily felt so delicate and fragile. He didn’t want to knock off a pretty petal. Each petal was made from someone important to him after all. “Maybe I’ll start wearing crop tops from now on.”  

“Try not to overthink it.” Nobara patted a hand near his bedside. “Ya did just wake up.”

“Yeah, leave it to us.” Fushiguro tilted Itadori’s head upwards, till their eyes locked. His eyes were red as if he were sleep deprived from waiting by Itadori’s bedside. His touch was almost a bit needier as if for confirmation this was real. “We’ll give it plenty of nourishment.”

Itadori lowered his eyes to look at Fushiguro’s lips. He was tempted to close the space between them. He wanted to taste mint lip balm once more.

“You’re staring, brat.”

“Don’t snitch on me!” Itadori covered up Sukuna’s mouth on the side of his cheek.

“Ya know he sneaked sips of your water bot—“

“SSHHHH!! He doesn’t know what he’s talking about!”

“I really hope that’s not true,” A small smile appeared on Fushiguro’s face. “But I wouldn’t put it past you. You’re the only thing on my mind these days.” He squeezed Itadori’s hand. “So stop being so damn reckless, baby.”’

“Aw, you have pet nicknames already?” Gojo whistled.

Fushiguro’s face went red. “I AM MAKING FUN OF HIM! He is so stupid and throws himself into trouble!”

“Don’t know... that sounds a bit spicy.” Nobara tapped her chin. “But he does have a point about making us worry.” She gave a sad smile. “Stop it. I mean it.”

Itadori felt his crippling doubt and anxiety silenced for a moment. His friends...the ones who cared about him… He glanced at his lily. They were all rooting for him, that kind of love was previously only something his grandpa had given to him. He felt that feeling in abundance now. Love was warm, really warm like the sun.