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Of course, Tsukishima never means his harsh words, at least those directed to Tadashi. But for some godforsaken reason, Tadashi is so unbelievably hurt this time around. It’s silly of him to even think for a second that he shouldn’t be the one apologizing.
Tadashi is seated next to Sugawara on the laminate floor of the gym, leaning against the wall. His knees are bunched up to his chest, with his arms wrapped around them tightly. Sugawara places a caring hand on Tadashi’s knee.
“What did that Tsukishima do?” Sugawara says sternly. Tadashi almost can’t believe that his senpai could guess so accurately, but he isn’t really. He always had an air of emotional intelligence about him.
Tadashi lets his chin fall in the valley between his knees. The sigh he lets out is probably confirmation (for Sugawara) that indeed, Tsukishima had done something.
Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at Tadashi’s anxious face. They were walking together to school, as they always did. Tadashi had been letting worry paint over his face ever since he left the house that morning. If it was concerning to his mom and sister, it was most definitely concerning to Tsukishima as well. It was basically a boyfriend's law.
“Sorry, Tsukki…” mumbled Tadashi out of reflex. Did he really have anything to be sorry for? Just for not masking his anxiety?
“Stop apologizing, Tadashi. What’s wrong?” Tsukishima asked while pushing his glasses up. He always tried to make himself seem like he wasn’t actually worried, but Tadashi knew his boyfriend better than that. Tsukishima’s glasses weren’t falling in the first place, “pushing them up” was in reality, just pressing his glasses harder against the bridge of his nose.
“I’m just anxious.” Tadashi ran a shaky hand through his hair after pausing briefly. “I know it sounds stupid, but the test that’s today? The math one. I’m just nervous about it.”
All week, that stupid test had been giving Tadashi endless grief. He never told Tsukishima about these worries, though. Tadashi didn’t want to burden their time together with such nonsense. He cherished every moment with his Tsukki. When they were alone together, Tsukishima was never (alright, maybe not never) his normal rude self. Tadashi absolutely relished in the fact that he was the only one that would ever see Tsukishima like that, shyly kissing at Tadashi’s neck with a blush creeping up his face. He wouldn’t ruin such precious time together by venting about his stress.
“Well you studied, didn’t you? You’ll probably do decently.”
Tadashi almost forgot that Tsukishima was there, too busy thinking about his long, skinny fingers ghosting over his skin. He hid his blush by looking down and kicking a stray pebble on the pavement. But, the thing was that Tadashi didn’t study. Worrying about the test took all of his would-be study time. Yes, it sounded stupid now that Tadashi really thought about it, but it was far too late to change that.
“I… didn’t study,” muttered Tadashi with shame in his voice.
“You’re stupid then. Why would you not study and be worried about the test?” deadpanned Tsukishima.
Each word, pause, felt like a punch to the stomach to Tadashi. Maybe it was the lack of sleep from the day before, the anxiety building up over the past week, or hell, even Tadashi’s mom walking in on them making out the prior night. Whatever the reason, Tadashi found himself bursting into tears. He tried to lower his head to hide it, but a loud sniff betrayed him. He felt so stupid and sensitive for even being upset about something like that.
Tsukishima suddenly stepped in front of Tadashi, two fingers coming beneath Tadashi’s chin to tilt his head towards Tsukishima. “Tadashi? What’s wrong,” whispered Tsukishima, with more urgency bleeding through his tone. Tadashi couldn’t see his face though, he shut his eyes tightly.
“Sorry…” Tadashi trailed. He was already haunted by the prospect of being a damper on their mood by mentioning the anxiety in the first place. It was silly, Tsukishima knew about his anxiety, they’ve known each other since they were little kids after all. But making Tsukishima worry about him made Tadashi feel even worse, so he ran away.
Shoving past Tsukishima, Tadashi bolted to the gym, trying his very best to ignore Tsukishima’s fearful cries that were loosely heard behind him. The only person in the gym was Sugawara. He had been on his phone before, presumably texting Daichi something gross and cute. But the sound of Tadashi kicking the door open snapped Sugawara’s attention elsewhere, surely.
“Yamaguchi?! What’s wrong?!” Sugawara exclaimed.
Tadashi’s eyes were still shut, but he felt Sugawara’s arms wrapping around him in a protective embrace. That was when Tadashi found himself pouring his feelings out on the gym floor.
“I’ll fold him like laundry, I swear to god!” Sugawara yells when Tadashi finishes.
“I’m going to go apologize though… I shouldn’t have freaked out like that…” says Tadashi, mostly to himself. But he still said that out loud, and Sugawara clamps his hands on either side of Tadashi’s face.
“No! You aren’t going to apologize because this isn’t your fault! What kind of boyfriend says that? Now,” Sugawara squeezes Tadashi’s cheeks tighter, “you’re going to wait until you’re good and ready to accept his genuine apology.” orders Sugawara while staring into Tadashi’s wide-open eyes. “While that’s happening, I am going to go turn that beanpole into a beanstalk, just you wait.”
Tadashi doesn’t even get the chance to protest before Sugawara lets go of his face and trudges out of the gym. He sighs contently. Daichi would definitely reprimand Sugawara for that later, knowing how chaotic his beloved senpai was.
Practice went by painfully slow.
Every time Tadashi was successful in his jump float serve, to the point where Nishinoya missed his receive and cried out in frustration, he found himself wanting to look for Tsukishima to gauge his reaction. But, he wasn’t ready yet, he was still hurt.
Tsukishima had tried to come up to Tadashi a few times during the school day, but Tadashi felt a pang of hurt in his chest each time and would turn away. He ended up doing average on the math test, earning him an average grade. Tadashi is convinced he would’ve done at least a little better if he had studied at all. Or, you know, wasn’t fighting with his boyfriend, making him into an emotional mess. He finds himself more at peace once classes are over, and he thinks about going to find Tsukishima. “I won’t be the one apologizing either,” he thinks while making his way to the gym for afternoon practice.
Tadashi notices Sugawara’s encouraging grin through the slim opening of the gym door that’s being propped open by Hinata’s shoe. The feeling of his shirt collar being yanked, and being shoved against the gym wall, is far more noticeable.
Tsukishima croaks, “Tadashi.” Tadashi doesn’t blink out of surprise, Tsukishima pulling something like this in public. There are tear tracks faintly visible on Tsukishima’s pale cheeks.
“Tsukki, I—”
“I’m sorry for cornering you like this because now I feel even more like a piece of shit. But I need to apologize to you because it’s been driving me crazy all day.” The scattered tone sounds unfamiliar in Tsukishima’s voice.
Tadashi’s will breaks. “I’m sorr—”
“No, you’re not apologizing and you’re also going to let me finish. I’m very self-aware of the fact that I’m a huge dick. Quite frankly, I don’t care that much either. I’m not changing myself for a bunch of idiots. I’m also never going to stop making fun of you. But, what I don’t want to be is a huge dick to you— no not like that, my god.
“Forget it, that’s not my point here. I’m really sorry for being such a jerk this morning and saying that to you. Even though you and I both know, well most of the time, that I don’t actually mean it, it doesn’t make it okay. Sometimes I forget that and you have to tell me, Tadashi. Step up a few times and actually stand up for yourself.”
Tsukishima punctuates his rant by panting slightly. Tadashi has to blink a few times, he feels like he isn’t looking at his boyfriend. It’s all there though, the blond hair that’s grown slightly scruffy, the glossy black frames.
“Did Sugawara-senpai…” Tadashi begins.
“Yes. He kicked my ass both metaphorically and physically.”
Tadashi tries to stifle a laugh but fails.
“Good. You were mean this morning. But I forgive you because I’m a good boyfriend and I hate seeing you look so emotional,” teases Tadashi.
Tadashi is almost completely sure that his teasing smirk resting on his lips is what makes Tsukishima close the distance between them so quickly. The oh-so-familiar spark dances between their connected lips as Tadashi turns his head to get at a better angle. After a few long moments, Tsukishima pulls away.
“I’m not making out with you against our school volleyball gym.” Tsukishima squints at Tadashi while huffing and puffing. Tadashi rolls his lovestruck eyes to meet Tsukishima's. Normally, he would feel horrified at the idea of anyone, especially Hinata or Kageyama, walking in on them. But after such a grueling day, he can’t find it in himself to care, not even a little bit.
Tadashi smiles mischievously and speaks before chasing back after Tsukishima’s lips.
“But I am.”
(Hinata and Kageyama do end up walking in on them. Tsukishima just simply flipped them both off silently. Sugawara pulled them back inside though, something about “ they’re having a moment” )