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David huffed his way inside. It was freezing out. He was carrying far too many bags of Christmas leftover stock that he’d ‘volunteered’ to bring home to sort through in the two days they were closed for New Years. Patrick had abandoned him for the last two hours to run an ‘emergency’ errand to the bank ‘It’ll take me longer to explain than to go David.’ he’d said when David protested that unless they were about to lose the Store surely nothing was that urgent at 4.30 on New Year’s Eve. Which had segwayed into ‘ARE we going to lose the Store, what did we do wrong.’ until Patrick assured him all was well. Unconvinced David let him go. And sulked his way through the remaining two hours. And now he was cold and tired. And he had to get dressed up again to go to a stupid party they’d agreeed to. He dumped the box in the hallway.
‘Patrick! I can’t carry them all! I need help!’ he waited. No response. ‘Patrick!’ He tried again.
‘Come in here a second, I need your help!’ his husband’s voice came from the direction of the kitchen.
‘I asked first!’ David pouted even though nobody was there to see.
‘David just come in here.’ Patrick used his ‘don’t argue with me tone’ from a room away. David huffed but obeyed.
‘Look you wanted me to bring the damn stuff home-’ he stopped as he got into the kitchen. The table was covered in an array of dishes, with candles lit along with the soft overhead light. It was a buffet, but of the kind of junk-food-party-food David loved. The kind you got at a kid’s Birthday or some elderly relative’s family party. Mini Pizzas chips and dips and egg salad sandwiches, pigs in blankets and breadsticks. His eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up. ‘What on earth?!’
Patrick wiped his hands on a towel and shrugged with a grin. ‘What do you say to our own Party tonight- just us.’ he added, folding his arms.
‘Just us?’ David said with a frown. ‘But you wanted to go to the party…’ he took in the food, noticing mini sausages, and egg rolls too. Patrick must have been hiding it in the garage freezer for weeks.
‘But you didn’t.’ his husband said walking around the table. David rolled his eyes. He thought he’d hidden it better than that. Patrick reached him and wrapped his arms around his waist. ‘And what I want is you happy.’
David lifted his eyes skywards and Patrick smiled at his classic ‘you’re not going to make me cry’ gesture, which always failed. They’d said yes to Ray’s big New Year’s party weeks ago. But after spending five days with Patrick’s extended family, and away from all of his home comforts and routine, Patrick could sense his husband's social energy running low. As was his if he was honest. He’d planned this food for a New Year’s Day treat but with a few last minute additions he’d pulled it together today. David looped his arms around his shoulders and leaned down and kissed him.
‘Thank you.’ he said with a lopsided smile. Then frowned, ‘Are there sliders?’
Patrick rolled his eyes. ‘In the Oven.’ he smiled ‘Along with samosas, and mini quiches.’ he tightened his grip on David’s waise ‘And there’s cake.’
David’s face broke into a grin. ‘Have I mentioned you’re the best husband ever and I love you?’
‘I mean that sounds right, but it can’t hurt to remind me.’ Patrick laughed as David leaned down and kissed him while simultaneously trying to reach for the food. Patrick slapped his hand away and kissed him back.
David pulled back and looked serious again. ‘And you really don’t mind?’
Patrick grinned and shook his head. ‘That I get an evening at home with my gorgeous husband and all this food?’ he smiled up at David. ‘Not one bit.’
David grinned and wrapped himself around his husband’s neck. He’d been running on empty the last couple of days he had to admit. He’d loved their time with Patrick’s family, but being ‘on’ for nearly five days, and all the holiday stuff that went with it had left him burnt out. He was very good at being ‘on’ but it also wore him out. He was actually the more introverted of them. Yes he was loud, and a lot. Yes he could perform when called to- in more ways than one. And while Patrick seemed the more shy quiet one, he fed off socialising, while David eventually got drained by it. More and more as he got older. Or he mused burrowing into Patrick’s neck a moment longer, more since he had someone who never drained his energy.
‘You ok?’ Patrick muttered into his neck. He’d been quiet the last couple of days a sure sign he was running on empty. David made a noise of agreement. Patrick smiled into his sweater before detangling them. ‘Ok go and get changed then. First rule of New Year’s at home, dress code is pajamas only.’ David detangled himself and nodded. He was almost at the door to the kitchen before he turned back.
‘I have some suggestions for the dresscode much later though.’ he raised an eyebrow before heading upstairs. Patrick laughed. But also felt a familiar thrill. Glad that the newlywed sheen hadn’t quite worn off yet. In the meantime he turned his attention to the oven, because feeding his husband was also clearly winning him points here.
It was almost 10pm and they were curled up on the sofa, full of party food, and more than a little wine. The firelight was working some suitable magic and David glanced over at his husband staring into the flames and was struck by how beautiful he looked. It still caught him by surprise, just how gorgeous he was, and just how oblivious to it he was. ‘The nice guy who was nice enough looking’ Patrick had once described himself as. David never quite found the ways to tell him just how much that undersold him. He must have felt David’s gaze as he looked over, then blushed a bit looking down. David must have made it really obvious then. No use in hiding it he quickly flicked open his phone, and flicked at it a few times to change the playlist that was softly filling the room. He pushed himself up off the sofa to a confused glance from Patrick. David held out a hand.
‘I believe dancing is traditional on New Year’s Eve.’ he said. ‘Would you do me the honour?’ he did a little bow and Patrick laughed, allowing himself to be pulled off the sofa.
‘It would be my pleasure.’ Patrick said, allowing himself to be pulled upright, and towards the rug in front of the fire. David wound his arms around his neck and Patrick looped his hands around David’s waist. He looked up at his husband who smiled softly at him. His face was open and relaxed, and he always looked calmer, and younger, when they were alone. Patrick was used to being teased about his enthusiasm for David’s good-looks when drunk, or memorably high on anesthetic. But it was also true. He’d never spent time imagining what a man he would be with might look like- he’d never let himself get that far. But if he had it wouldn’t have been this admittedly ridiculous, but also ridiculously gorgeous man. His hair was long right now and was frankly adding another few inches to his height, Patrick enjoyed the fact David was a little taller than him. Somehow it added to the feeling that they fit. Especially now dancing with him. He locked eyes with him, David’s big brown eyes felt like they could melt him a bit. He grinned a bit more.
‘What?’ David said smiling back, raising one of those also ridiculous eyebrows of his.
‘Just thinking about how gorgeous my husband is.’ Patrick said honestly.
David blushed a bit. His ego enjoyed it, but he still even now, couldn’t quite get used to being so openly complimented. ‘Funny.’ he said ‘I was thinking the same before I asked you to dance.’ he leaned down and kissed Patrick. A soft unhurried kiss, knowing they had all the time in the world. He moved his left hand down to rest on Patrck’s chest as they kissed and felt his hand come up to cover it, then slowly entwine their fingers as they danced.
Patrick took David’s hand as it rested on his chest. He wrapped his fingers around David’s long fingers, and felt his rings there. He smiled into their kiss and he knew David felt it. Ever since he’d proposed that physical reminder that David wore had felt reassuring, a safety net. Not that he needed one for them, he knew David was all in, even if sometimes the past still caught up with him and he worried. And Patrick knew he was all in. He’d been all in all too soon if he was honest. But he needed that reminder sometimes that this was real, that he had this man who had turned everything upside down in his life forever, and that was sometimes still so astounding he needed the reminder. He felt himself sigh into David, who pulled back with a smile.
‘I love you.’ Patrick said without prompting or even thinking.
‘I love you.’ David said with a smile, he dropped his cheek next to Patrick’s and thought about how easily that came now. Even after he first said it, for a while it didn’t come easily. Now it was so natural. Sometimes it came out teasingly, sometimes in the middle of an argument, sometimes passionately, mostly it just came easily, and for no reason other than it was true.
They danced a while longer, slowly swaying in time with the soft music. Until Patrick stopped, and leaned up so his mouth was at David’s ear.
‘Come to bed husband.’ he whispered.
David grinned, while resisting the urge to pull Patrick to the floor there and then. ‘So early? But I’m not even tired…’ he raised an eyebrow.
‘You will be by the time I’m done.’ Patrick said, pulling him down into a kiss to prove his point. Before releasing him and taking a couple of steps away towards the stairs. ‘You coming?’
‘Yes.’ David said ‘And so will you be.’ he raised an eyebrow as Patrick laughed. It took them a while to get up the stairs. But less time to relieve themselves of their clothes and collapse onto the bed.
Patrick blinked awake. The lamp was still on and the radio was still playing softly. David was asleep on his stomach, his head heavy there, an arm snaked around his back and a leg hooked over his. Patrick had been half propped up on the pillows and his neck was feeling it. He leaned over and picked up his phone. 2.15am. They’d slept right through New Year’s. He cleared the bunch of texts on the screen. He could wish everyone a Happy New Year tomorrow.
‘Champagne’ David muttered, and Patrick looked over to check, yup still asleep, ‘Champagne is...correct.’ he muttered and shifted into Patrick a bit more. He chuckled. And ran his hand over David’s hair. It was a shame to wake him but they were both still naked, it was now freezing in their bedroom and sleeping at that angle on Patrick’s stomach wasn’t going to work for either of them.
‘Hey David.’ he whispered ‘We missed the champagne.’
‘Hmmhm’ David made a disgruntled half awake noise.
‘We slept through New Year’s love.’ Patrick said, dropping a kiss onto David’s head as he stirred.
David had been aware of the warmth of Patrick under him, as they’d talked about nothing, tangled up in the blankets still slightly exhausted from their bedroom excursions and listening to the radio chatter about New Year’s parties. Then he’d been dreaming. Back at their old house at a party. But something was missing and he was alone. And then he’d woken up, and Patrick was still there and warm under him. He finally lifted his head and blinked up sleepily at his husband, who smiled at him.
‘It’s 2am, we slept through New Year’s.’ Patrick repeated and smiled at him blinking sleepily up at him.
David hauled himself upright, rubbing at his face. ‘Wow we are old men, couldn’t even stay up for New Year’s.’ he shook his head ‘Five years ago I didn’t sleep on New Year’s.’
‘Well call me old fashioned- or an old man.’ Patrick held his hand up ‘While remembering I’m younger than you.’ he grinned ‘But I’ll take falling asleep, and waking up with my husband over an all night party any year.’
David didn’t even try to hide his grin. He nodded as a lopsided grin broke out on his face. ‘Parties are overrated.’ he said still with a soft smile. He looked at Patrick, who was he knew, the only person he was interested in spending any holiday with. Patrick grinned back.
‘Though.’ he added, ‘We did miss out on a New Year’s kiss.’
David grinned ‘Well I’m sure that’s bad luck.’ he shifted to face Patrick who leaned in towards him, David held a hand up ‘Hold on.’ Patrick frowned, ‘Five, four.’ David began and Patrick rolled his eyes realising what he was doing ‘Three, Two, One.’ he grinned ‘Happy New Year Patrick.’ he said.
‘Happy New Year David.’ Patrick said and closed the gap to kiss his husband, for the first time, in what would be their first full year of marriage. They pulled back and smiled. And David yawned. Patrick laughed, and yawned. ‘Ok old man, sleep. We clearly can’t keep up this partying nonsense.’
‘Mmm.’ David agreed, fumbling for the t-shirt under his pillow. ‘Nothing good happens after 2am anyway.’
‘Very true.’ Patrick echoed, getting out of bed to head to the bathroom while David changed.
Soon after they were back in bed, the lights off David resting his head on Patrick’s shoulder, he found his husband’s hand under the covers and interlaced their fingers. ‘I never started a year more certain it would be happy.’ he whispered. Patrick leaned over and kissed his forehead.
‘Me either.’ he said closing his eyes, still holding onto David’s hand.
New Year’s Day was a perfect winter’s day- sunshine and cold all at once. Patrick was enjoying the view of the garden while he made coffee- there was no point starting on breakfast until David emerged and it was early by David standards, only 8am. In the meantime, Patrick was enjoying the stillness around him while he waited for the coffee to brew. He glanced out into the garden, which was covered in a light dusting of snow. He frowned and realised it was starting to snow again, a gentle quiet snowfall that made everything else seem quieter. Maybe he could convince David to go for a walk in it later. If he promised him Hot Chocolate on their return, or maybe a shared shower he could possibly be convinced. Maybe a combination of the two Patrick mused and chuckled out loud to himself.
‘If talking to yourself is a sign of madness I don’t know what laughing at yourself is.’ Patrick jumped at David’s voice behind him and turned around. ‘What you laughing at?’ David yawned halfway through the sentence. And Patrick laughed again.
‘You.’ he said honestly, taking a step towards David who was sleepily rubbing a hand over his eyes. ‘What are you doing up at this hour?’ Patrick asked, reaching a hand for David’s shirt and pulling him in.
‘Well.’ David began and Patrick knew there was some mild dramatics coming his way ‘I woke up, and my husband wasn’t there, so naturally I flew into a wild panic-’
‘A wild yawning panic.’ Patrick said reaching up and kissing David’s jaw.
‘A wild panic, that I had been abandoned on New Year’s Day, possibly for good, and that I should come and find you before you disappeared forever.’
‘Mmm hmm’ Patrick said, wrapping both arms around his waist. ‘Or did you think I was cooking breakfast?’
David rolled his eyes ‘Well, I did smell coffee.’ he admitted.
‘There it is.’ Patrick grinned. ‘Bacon or pancakes?’ he asked.
‘Both.’ they both said at once.
‘Thought so.’ Patrick grinned. ‘One condition.’ he said with a smile. David grinned and compiled leaning down for a kiss.
A while later, breakfast done, Patrick was putting the dishes in the sink while David was -allegedly- refilling the coffee. Instead Patrick turned around to find him standing, mugs in hand staring out of the kitchen window.
‘Hey less snow watching, more coffee pouring.’ Patrick said with a laugh.
His voice broke through David’s reverie but didn’t quite register. He was busy staring at the snow, in their garden. Realising they were starting their first full year as a married couple. And it was perfect. Despite all the challenges along the way. Despite him being, well him. They’d made it and they had a ridiculously snow filled fresh start. David sniffed and wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, just as his husband, his annoyingly perfect husband took the mugs off him, and set them carefully down, taking his hands in his and looking up at him.
‘I know.’ he said with a smile ‘It’s so perfect I worry it can’t be real either.’
David nodded with a sniff. Patrick squeezed his hands.
‘But it’s real.’ he said. ‘I promise.’
David nodded, and reached down to kiss his husband. ‘Happy New Year Patrick.’ he said letting his face shift into a lopsided grin.
‘Happy New Year David.’ Patrick said, giving his husband's hands another reassuring squeeze before he felt himself spun around so they were both looking out at the snow. David dropped his chin to Patrick’s shoulder and watched in silence for a while, Patrick could feel his steady heartbeat and closed his eyes, leaning back into him. Feeling safe and secure, and more loved than he’d ever been.
David leaned down and kissed Patrick’s hair, before shifting his arms to wrap around him. Feeling him lean into him. It was finally all ok. He was starting a year with utter certainty that it was all ok. That he was safe and loved and secure forever.
‘Every new year is yours from now on.’ Patrick said, as if reading his mind. He felt David sniffle behind him.
‘What have I told you about saying things that reduce me to tears.’ David sniffed.
Patrick felt his eyes fill with tears, ‘Damnit what have I told you about setting me off.’ he laughed. He felt David kiss his hair again. ‘Let’s just watch the snow.’ he said quieter now.
‘Ok.’ David said. For once happy to be quiet. As long as he could hold his husband and watch the snow.