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Thinking back, he probably should’ve seen it all coming. After all, getting a crossbow jammed in his face as soon as he waltzed into the city should’ve been a red flag.
But noooo, you had to think it was a prank from your brother, Techno.
“The fuck is this?” Techno grimaced as one of the guards gave him a small kick forward, forcing him to kneel down with a pike to his neck.
“Why?” The prince, no, king now apparently tilted his head to the side in mock curiosity, sitting lazily on the grand throne at the far end of the room. “Isn’t it simple, Techno?”
“We’re family. Isn’t that simpler than whatever the hell this...mess is? God, look at that damn decor! Orange does NOT look good on the royal drapes.” He felt a small smirk curl up his lips.
“I thought with a new monarch, the palace could use a bit of a new colour scheme, if you get my drift.”
Strike that, he was DEFINITELY pranking him.
“Haha. Oh, come on. You were never good at acting when we were kids and you haven’t improved since then. Just drop the act and let us celebrate the slaying of the With-” Techno looked up, his face a mask of joy, like some great comedian who’d just given the punchline and was waiting for the audience to respond to his magnum opus of the night.
“God, will you just shut UP for a few seconds? For the man who they said could do everything, you clearly can’t complete one of the most simple, BASIC tasks of all!”
The light from the windows behind him gave Techno’s brother a menacing halo, fire, ruin, and so much more burning in his eyes.
For the first time in his life, Techno felt a modicum of fear.
“C-C’mon! I killed the Wither! Celebration time, WOOOO!!”
The guards stayed still and blank, as if though they were human tin soldiers with metal hearts.
“You? You killed the fucking wither? Good lord Techno, stop lying. We all know how desperate you are to prove yourself, especially after that time you trampled the entire potato stockpile in our silos for some measly competition, but come on. You? The only thing funnier than the mere THOUGHT of you, the half pig bastard somehow managing to slay the abomination that’s been menacing my country-”
“-It’s more of our city-sta-”
The death glare and the pressing of the pike tip shut him up.
He still felt like someone was digging a bottomless pit in his chest though.
“Anyways. We all know I killed the Wither. You, on the other hand, pissed off to god-knows-where to do god-knows-what!”
“You can’t seriously be accusing me of aiding the Illa-”
“I never said anything about the Illagers, Techno.”
Game. Set. Match.
His heart turned into a harsh symphony of ice and fire, the cold realization that he’d fallen into his brother’s trap and the sheer rage he felt mixing into a horrific symphony which made him wish he was deaf.
“For fuck’s sake, I was on the GODDAMN FRONTLINES fighting since I was a CHILD, while YOUR pampered ass scrammed off to god knows where! Where even is our father? What did you do to him?!!!”
Technoblade snarled, glaring up at the new “king”.
His brother sighed.
“Guards? Tie him up and leave us.”
“Yes, my liege.”
Techno grimaced at the feeling of harsh rope biting into his skin before he heard the footsteps shuffling out the throne room, leaving him alone one-on-one with him.
“You...you saw me kill that damn wither. I saved you and dad’s asses from wrinkling to death, and this is what you repay me with?! Where the hell is he anyway?!”
His brother smiled coldly, malice glinting in his ocean-blue eyes.
“Wouldn’t you like to know, brother mine.”
Techno felt his heart stop cold.
“No.”
“Smart as always, Techno. That was always your weakness. Too much...thinking in that poor noggin of yours.” The apparent “king” turned away, admiring the auburn light filtering through the windows. “Not enough action.”
“Action. After what happened in that damn forest, you have the AUDACITY TO CALL ME OUT FOR INACTION?!! One hundred of our finest men, wiped OUT because your cowardly ass couldn’t command a damn army. The fuck did you even do to get the guards so loyal to you anyway?”
A mirthless chuckle filled the room, sending chills down his spine.
“Swearing isn’t a good look on you, brother. But fine,” He mock sighed. “I’ll tell you what happened two weeks ago.”
I was out for two WEEKS?! Fucking hell, that concussion from the dying explosion must’ve been really bloody bad.
“Two weeks ago, our father and me led an army of a hundred men to stop the undead scourge which had ravaged our lands for decades once and for all. A certain bastard child tagged along, desperate for glory.”
Techno saw crimson red.
“OH BULLSHI-”
“Uh uh uh, brother mine. I’m not done yet. Your dumbass waltzed in and tried to kill the wither by yourself. We all tried to save you but your lust for fame, for clout sent us into utter disarray. So many men…”
“Oh I’m sorry, I seem to distinctly remember that it was your idiocy that led one hundred troops to get encircled by ONE FLOATING SKELETON WITH THREE HEADS!” He snarled. “They died on your. Damn. Watch.”
“Only to save you! Hell, our father died a noble death trying to save you!”
“You didn’t.”
He marched over and grabbed Techno by the throat.
“Our father succumbed to the wither effect in the forest. He crumbled to ashes minutes after I heroically slayed him and you’d bolted away so fast you’d either gotten lost in the forest, or hit a tree while running and getting a damn concussion! Do you fucking understand me?”
“...Why? All this and for what? He would’ve given you the throne anyways! He always favoured me over you.”
“Not after that. ”
“After what?”
“After that. You know damn well what I’m talking about.”
A brief moment of elation soared in Techno’s heart before it was brought crashing back down to earth.
“If you’re gonna kill me, just do it. I’d like to see the Council sign onto executing a son of the royal family.”
“Yeah, no, we’re not doing that, Techno.”
Techno cocked his head to the side quizically.
“Well then, if the bureaucracy doesn’t want to do away with me than why am I still tied up?”
“Oh, brother mine, you truly don’t know what’s in store for you.”
“Just get it over with.”
“Nonono, Techno. There’s a fate much worse than death.” Even with his back turned once more, Techno could feel the gloating smile plastered on his brother’s face.
“And what on EARTH could that be?”
“I know what you’ve craved all your life, brother. Recognition. For once in your life, to feel the joy and adoration of the crowds, to fit in, to be known that you have accomplished great deeds.”
The rays of light bouncing off the lopsided crown on his brother’s head felt like a thousand tiny spears jabbing into his soul.
How did he-
“It’s alright. Everyone wants it. It’s such a damn shame you didn’t slay the wither and our father sacrificed himself to save you though. I’m...not quite sure you’d want recognition for such a shameful and heinous deed. Accidental patricide isn’t exactly something you’d want to be known for.”
A cold chill ran down Techno’s spine as he realized just how diabolical his sibling was.
“I shouldn’t have saved you.” He muttered beneath his breath.
“Well, you know what they say, brother mine,” He lounged cockily on the throne, ruffled brown hair seeming as though it had caught on fire in the afternoon sun. “To the victor...the spoils. GUARDS!”
The armor clad soldiers quickly shuffled back into the room.
“As the new ruler of this blessed, great land, I decree that Technoblade, the bastard son of our great Kingdom, shall be EXILED. Not for patricide, not for cowardice, not for accidentally killing dozens of our best men..but out of mercy.”
Tears began to roll down Techno’s cheek as his childhood memories played like a broken cassette tape, all covered in a blood red haze.
“The populace simply is too angry and I cannot placate them without their pound of flesh.” His voice dripped with honey, so sickly sweet that Techno nearly puked at the saccharine tones.
“Dad...do you think I can be a hero like Theseus?”
“And thus, as the most popular monarch to grace the throne since this great city’s founding, I must follow the will of the people.”
“Techno, they’re just stories. You can’t do it, you’re a half breed after all. Why not just stay in the kingdom for the rest of your life?”
“Henceforth, from this day forward,”
“...Because I know I can be better than them all and be the greatest hero. I’ll prove you wrong, just you wait.”
“My brother, Technoblade, first of his name, shall be EXILED indefinitely, never to return to our city.”
Technoblade looked up, eyes looking like a thousand cracked pieces of glass, tears splintering the soul behind them into pieces.
“Any last words?”
“...You won. Not fairly, not squarely, but you won.” Technoblade inched forward to the throne as best as he could while tied up.
“Obviously. And?”
“For that, well, I salute you.” He bowed his head to the new king.
“Just get out of my sight.”
“Oh, I’ll make sure to do that, my liege.”
His brother only had a split second to show the slightest bit of fear.
I can’t go back.
Techno’s hands were like a whirlwind, untying the rope around his arms almost instantaneously.
His brother flailed, clumsily trying to pull the sword out of his scabbard.
“GUARDS!”
Techno seized on to the hilt of the blade and pulled it out, feeling grim satisfaction as the sword cut into his brother’s palms.
“GAH!”
He gracefully landed back on the floor, eyes darting around at the charging guards.
The first pike was thrust right where he’d been seconds ago. Techno grabbed the handle of it and twisted it upwards, taking the weapon from his hands and kicked him into one of the pillars.
“I haven’t slept in two weeks, I killed a wither, I’m pissed as fuck, tell me, WHICH OF YOU WANTS TO TAKE A GODDAMN SWING!”
The guards genuinely stopped in their tracks for a moment and for a second Techno thought it’d work.
That thought was quickly shattered by his brother’s glare.
They charged forward once more.
“Well, it was worth a shot.” Techno grimaced.
He slid the sword into one of the scabbards on his waist, using both hands to wield the pike.
Techno laughed, a clear, cheerful noise as he moved with grace, slamming the weapon into enemy after enemy, until at least ten of them had been flung into a heap next to a pillar.
The other guards surprisingly had some common sense as they backed away, opting for a more cautious approach.
Techno sighed.
“Fine, I guess we’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way.” Techno picked the dagger out and surveyed the room, spotting a dozen guards left.
He charged at the closest one, catching him off guard as he thrusted his weapon wildly and missing every time. Techno jammed the hilt of his blade upwards and landed a knockout blow.
Turning around, he saw two more charging at him in unison, both pikes thrust out and pointed right at his face.
Techno sidestepped the brunt of the blow, only a small grimace as one of the blades left a small gash on his cheeks.
“Get better reflexes next time!” He laughed as he brought his sword down upon the wooden pike handles, severing their weapons in half.
They stared at their broken weapons before Techno knocked both of them out with his elbows.
Sexiest elbows alive, eh?
He smirked at the remaining nine.
“I’ll give you one more chance to get the fuck out of here.”
“Don’t any of you dare.” His brother grimaced, wiping the blood from his palms on the sleeves.
Techno shrugged as none of them dropped their weapons.
“Well, I can at least promise I’ll make this quick for you lot.”
The half-pig, half-man blitzed forward, slamming the hilts of his pike and sword into the two nearest guards, knocking one out and nearly doing the same to the other.
“C’mon, man. You really wanna have a concussion tomorrow?"
Sighing, he kicked the barely conscious man to the side.
“Seven le-GAH!” Techno grimaced as he felt a pike drive itself in between one of his shoulder blades.
Eyes blazing with rage, he whirled around and slashed viciously, leaving a brutal scar running down the guard’s face.
“Don’t even think about doing that again.” He warned the remaining guards, his face a visage of pain as he pulled the weapon out of his back and dropped it on the floor.
The remaining six said nothing, their grips on the pikes only growing tighter.
"Guess y'all really want my sexy elbows then."
As the guards charged in unison, Technoblade only stood there, doing nothing.
Wait for it…
Just when the first pike would've slammed into his neck, the bastard child ducked below it. A kick to the guard’s legs sent him crashing to the floor. Another to the chin sent the already brutalized guard sprawling across the floor, knocking down two more.
"It takes four to tango, eh?" He smirked as he rose back up, giving the three guards a cocky smile as he twirled his weapons around in his hands.
The first guard leaned into the arc of his decapitation strike, missing Techno by a long shot.
Big mistake.
Techno smiled and pulled the his other arm down and forced him off balance, . Techno finished him off with a blow with the pike staff to the back of his head. sending him crashing to the floor.
Suddenly his sixth sense went off, ducking just in time to avoid his head getting speared.
The pike slammed into the floor right in front of him, sending shrapnel everywhere. Techno winced and slashed the handle of the pike, the metal tip embedded in the wooden floor.
Not expecting the dislocation of his weapon, the guard crashed to the floor thanks to the momentum of his pull.
His remaining opponent charged at him and brought his sword down.
Oh come on, is there nothing harder?
Smiling, he whipped his sword out to parry the blow, one knee kneeling down on the other guard which choked him out, while clenching his right hand into a fist around the pike.
He only had a second to react before Techno gut punched him, sending him reeling back and howling in pain.
“You’re lucky I didn’t just stab your guts out and be done with it.” Techno spat before kneeing him in the face.
“Now, brother mine. Do you want to talk?”
Techno turned around, expecting any mix of rage, shock, and fear.
Instead he was met with...triumph?
“Oh, dear brother. Don’t you realize? You’ve already lost. They hate you for killing their king. Even if you killed me, right here, right now, there would be nothing you’d be able to make them love you. It’s over. ”
“No. Nononono. NO!” Techno snarled, throwing his pike at his brother, who easily dodged the blow, only grimacing as the window shattered behind him. “I DID EVERYTHING!” Techno growled, blazing forward and putting the blade right next to his brother’s neck, digging it in slightly into his neck.
“If you kill me, you know what they’ll remember me as? The martyr. The one who gave everything for my city-state, only to be struck down by a vengeful do nothing. You’d get a footnote at best, while I’ll be remembered as one of the greats.”
Techno’s hand was trembling.
“They...they’ll know me. You can’t get away with this.”
He simply smirked, those accursed blue eyes turning Techno’s blood to ice.
“The people are on my side, Techno. The government is on my side. You have nothing left.”
He lowered his voice to a whisper.
“Now get the fuck out of my kingdom.”
Techno stared blankly, a thousand emotions cascading upon him at once.
Looks like you didn’t prove them all wrong after all, heh. My advice? Trust no one. Not strangers, not “friends”, not family, and certainly not the government.
A small tear ran down the bastard child’s cheek, the auburn light of dusk making him seem as though he was a fallen angel with crooked wings, a broken halo illuminating his brown locks.
“Goodbye, brother mine.”
His brother’s eyes widened in fear and for a few glorious seconds, Techno savoured it.
But nothing lasts forever, does it?
Techno slammed his elbow into his brother’s face, knocking him out for the count.
Take it.
Do..do I deserve it?
Yes. You saved the kingd-
City-state.
Oh, whatever.
A small smile curled up Techno’s face as he plucked the crown off of his brother’s head.
It suits the saviour of the kingdom rather well, doesn’t it?
Techno carefully removed the robe from his brother and put it on.
Looking like a true hero.
Techno smiled ruefully, admiring his reflection for a moment in the windows.
What could’ve been, eh?
Techno’s shoulders drooped a bit.
Look, let’s just get out of here, shall we?
Sighing, he dropped the pike to the ground and walked over to the entrance to the throne room, the sound of his boots booming around the hall. He surveyed the room one last time.
Guess I never really fit in here, did I.
There are no heroes.
“Goodbye, brother mine.”
He slipped silently into the night, never to be heard from again.