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The other three Them find Adam in the woods, finishing a biscuit and moodily kicking pinecones while Dog barks futilely at squirrels.
Plainly, Adam is sulking. Equally plainly, something has to be done.
Brian and Wensley exchange glances. Pepper advances on their ringleader.
“Where’d you get that biscuit?” she demands.
“Jasmine Cottage. It’s not a biscuit,” Adam says, chewing.
“Is so a biscuit,” Pepper retorts. “With pecans. Like your dad makes.”
“It looks like a biscuit, an’ it tastes like one, but it isn’t one.” Imparting this esoteric information is visibly improving Adam’s mood.
“What is it?” Pepper inquires — open-minded, albeit skeptical.
“A cookie.”
“It isn’t.”
“It is. I know, ‘cause Anathema said so. Anathema says…” Adam breaks off, despondence returning.
Pepper changes tacks, temporarily leaving the biscuit/cookie dispute behind. “What're you doing?”
“Nothin’,” Adam says, cheerless.
“You’re always doing something, actually,” Wensley chimes in. “You’re standing, and thinking, and breathing, and your heart is beating. Even when you’re asleep, it still does.”
“How’s it remember?” Brian wants to know.
“It just does. I read it in my comic.”
Pepper glances over, distracted. “Bet it’s like dreaming. You do it by acc’dent.”
“I dreamed about a banana last night,” says Wensley.
“I dreamed about a turtle,” Brian one-ups him. “It ate my pillow.”
The Them fall silent, thinking about this.
Feeling forgotten, Adam clears his throat. “Everybody’s on dates,” he announces morosely.
The others refocus. Wesley looks mildly interested; Brian, confused.
“We aren’t on dates,” Brian points out.
“‘Course we aren’t,” Adam replies, in tones of deepest disgust. “I’m not talkin’ ‘bout us.”
“Who are you talking about?” Wensley asks. “‘Cause if it’s not us, it’s not everyone, actually.”
“My mum says dating norms are unegalitarian byproducts of heteronormative patriarchy,” Pepper cuts in disapprovingly. “By participating, we perpetuate disempowering social structures established by our oppressors.”
“Tell Anathema that,” Adam says gloomily.
Pepper brightens. “Anathema says as long as the people doing the dating like each other and are respec’ful, it’s fun.”
“Maybe that’s okay, then.” Adam sounds unsure. “But I wanted to see her new magazine, an’ she said she din’t have time.”
“My mother says that a lot,” Wensley sympathizes.
Adam isn't done airing his grievances. “She said she had a date. At a movie. An’ then Newt came an’ he said he had a date too.”
There’s a long, contemplative pause.
“Huh,” says Pepper eventually. “They’re prob’ly doin’ the same date.”
“Prob’ly,” Brian concurs.
Wensley nods seriously.
“But everyone’s going to the movies!” Adam wails. At last, the crux of the matter. “An' they didn’t invite me!”
Silence, as the Them consider this.
“They didn’t invite me either,” Wensley finally says.
“Or me,” Pepper agrees.
Brian scratches his ear. “We don’t need dates.”
Dog yaps corroboration.
“We’ve got us,” Pepper points out.
“Huh,” says Adam, struck.
Then, to the relief of all the assembled Them, Tadfield is restored to its proper order as Adam proclaims, “Let’s do somethin’.”
“Do what?” Wensley asks, obligingly.
“Well, since everyone’s out on dates—”
“Want to eat ice cream?” Pepper interrupts. “And—”
At almost the same moment, Brian suggests, “Binge-watch movies!”
Urgently, Pepper continues, “I heard the truck jingling when we were biking over. If we hurry, we can catch it.”
“We can use my uncle’s big screen,” Wensley offers.
“Ice cream an’ movies,” Adam states, definitively.
Nobody is about to object to a plan with such bipartisan appeal. Retrieving the various bicycles strewn around the clearing, the quartet pedals off in pursuit of ice cream, debating movies as they ride.
Four bikes; one Dog; four Them.
All is well in Tadfield.