Work Text:
Teru took his dinner plate from Reigen, his fingers a little shaky. He hovered by his dad’s side. His feet wouldn’t carry him out of the kitchen like they were supposed to.
“Is there something else you want?” Reigen asked, looking down to him curiously.
Teru shook his head.
He didn’t have to talk about this. He didn’t. But he was a little afraid to talk about it with anyone else, and if he didn’t say something soon he was going to lose it.
Reigen scooped himself some fried rice, staring at Teru as he did so and missing his plate entirely. His brows furrowed and he looked to the plate and spoon like they’d wronged him. Tried again and succeeded.
Teru backed out of the way when Reigen moved away from the stove, but instead of following him to the living room and settling on the couch like they usually did, Teru shuffled over to the kitchen table and sat down. He scooted his chair in and fiddled with his chopsticks. Poked at the food. Curled his toes in his socks and pushed them into the cool wood flooring.
“Are you coming?” Reigen’s head appeared around the corner.
Teru kept his eyes on his dinner and shrugged. Changed his mind and shook his head.
“Huh.”
Reigen came in and joined him, looking suspicious. When Teru didn’t say anything, Reigen tucked into his food, hissing when the dumplings were too hot to eat.
Eating was going to be difficult. Teru’s stomach was tangling into knots.
Teru had thought it would be easier to start talking in here, but now it just felt like additional pressure. It felt like a spotlight had been turned on him, hot and inescapable. He could brush off spacing out a minute ago, but they never ate at the table, and if Reigen asked if something was up there was no way he’d be able to get away with saying no. There was no going back now.
His hands were getting clammy.
Reigen got a third of the way through his meal when he stopped pretending this wasn’t weird.
“Are you sick?”
“Do you think girls are pretty?” Teru blurted out, his heart in his throat.
Reigen froze at the wild topic switch, eyes blowing wide. He made a good number of faces before slowly sitting back in his chair.
“Ah… All girls, or are you talking about someone in particular?”
Teru nudged his onions to the edge of his plate. Why did he think Reigen would be good to talk to? He was way too observant. Teru was screwed.
“Do you think Tsubomi is pretty?” he asked quietly.
Reigen had the audacity to chuckle. Teru scowled up at him from under his bangs.
“Teru, I don’t think I’ve ever met her, remember? How would I know?”
Teru put his chopsticks down, hands slinking down and clenching around each other in his lap. It really didn’t matter. It didn’t, but it did. He needed to know.
In a breath Teru had left the table, digging through the books on a shelf in his bedroom. He was back in the kitchen in no time with his elementary school yearbook. He dropped it to the table a little less gently than he meant to, but Teru ignored the loud noise, feverishly flipping through the pages.
“Do you think she’s pretty?” Teru spun the book so Reigen could see, pointing to the girl’s photo.
Reigen leaned in, mildly interested.
“Well, seeing as I am twenty-seven and this is a- When was this? Last year? This is a twelve-year-old. I think she’s fairly pretty for a kid, sure.” Reigen looked up at Teru when he didn’t say anything. “Do you think she’s pretty?”
Teru frowned, his chest heavy. He stared at Tsubomi’s picture like he needed to think about it. Like he didn’t see her at school almost every day.
“I mean, I guess,” he mumbled reluctantly. “Everybody does.”
“Everyone?”
Teru glanced at Reigen and quickly fixed his gaze back on the yearbook.
“Shigeo does. And- and Inukawa, and a ton of other boys,” he added in a hurry.
“Uh-huh.” Reigen was looking up at him patiently and it made Teru squirm.
“Everybody likes her, but she didn’t give anyone chocolate. She never does. Not even friend chocolate. Shigeo didn’t get any at all…”
Reigen looked past Teru to the small pile of cutely decorated bags on the counter. He didn’t say anything, but he seemed put out. By which part of what Teru said, he wasn’t sure. Teru huffed, refusing to pay attention to his Valentine’s chocolate.
He had something more important on his mind.
“Reigen?”
His dad turned his full attention on him and Teru’s breathing hitched. Why was this so scary? Did he think something bad was going to happen? His belly was turning somersaults.
“I don’t think I like girls,” he whispered.
Teru’s pulse was racing as he waited for Reigen’s reaction, but his dad didn’t react much at all. Reigen looked to him like he was expecting more.
What did he want? There was no more. Nothing that Teru was going to talk about, at least.
“Is that okay?” Teru swallowed, his throat tight.
Reigen startled, his face suddenly creasing in concern.
“Of course it’s okay, Teru. I don’t care if you don’t like girls. Why do you look so nervous? Did you think I was going to be mad?” Reigen reached out and loosely took one of Teru’s hands, brushing his thumb over his knuckles. “I promise it doesn’t matter. You’re fine.”
It took a bit for Teru’s heart to calm down. He hadn’t thought Reigen was going to yell at him or anything, but for a while starting the conversation had felt impossibly difficult. Did people talk to their parents about this kind of thing? Was he being weird? Everyone at school seemed so sure of themselves all the time, and Teru was confident in a lot of things… but this was different.
“Just nervous,” Teru said, a little breathless.
“Fair.” Reigen gave a nod and smiled slyly. “So, is there a not-girl that’s caught your eye?”
Caught.
Teru’s mouth snapped shut tight, locking his eyes on Reigen’s napkin. Panic streaked through his veins. He was not going to answer that. Nope. That was not part of tonight’s talk. Maybe Reigen would be really nice and not say anything about the boiling hot flush that was taking over his face.
“You know,” Reigen drawled with a casual grin. “If you’re really bummed out about Mob not getting any Valentine’s chocolates, you can always share with him. Not in front of the girls, of course. That would be rude.”
Teru ripped his hand out of Reigen’s.
“Why would I want to do that?” he said, taking a huge step back. “What are you talking about?”
Reigen just snickered.
“No, no, no. Don’t laugh, Reigen! How did you do that? I just started liking him a few weeks ago. How did you know already? That’s not fair!” Teru cried in dismay. He raked his hands through his hair. This wasn’t happening.
Reigen stared at him like he’d said something absurd, chuckles still shaking his shoulders.
“A few weeks ago? Teru, you’re joking, right?”
Teru had no idea what he was talking about.
“What?”
“Kid, you have been head over heels for Mob as long as I’ve known you,” he said with a wave of his hand.
Teru’s face was on fire now. It had to be. He was sweating buckets.
“No, I haven’t! I didn’t like him before. I just thought I wanted to kiss him the other day!”
Oh no, oh no, no, he had not meant to say that. The glee in Reigen’s eyes was horrifying.
“Okay, well ignoring that little detail,” his dad laughed. “Teru. Kiddo. Listen to me. You have been dressing up and showing off for Mob for years. You go out of your way to cheer him up and make him laugh. You give him stuff all the time.”
“That’s just being a good friend. That’s just being nice. That doesn’t mean I liked him before,” Teru said defensively.
“Do you even know Ritsu’s favorite color? Do you send him pictures of animals he likes all the time? Do you hug Inukawa when he gets a bad grade? Do you fuss over your room being clean when he comes over?”
The bottom was falling out of Teru’s stomach.
Reigen smiled at him, sympathetic. “Liking someone is more than just wanting to kiss them, Teru. Sometimes liking someone means you want them to be really happy.”
“Oh no.”
Reigen pressed his lips together until they turned white, but it didn’t mask the unadulterated amusement in his eyes.
If… If all those things were liking someone, and Teru had been doing all that and more for… For a long time? And Reigen had known?
“Does Ritsu know? Do his parents know?!”
“Mm, dunno about Ritsu. It’s kind of hard to tell what that kid’s thinking, but uh. Mayuko and Saburo? Gunna have to call that one a yes,” Reigen said with a wince.
“Does Shigeo know?” Teru asked in despair.
“Hard to say. You’re not subtle, but you’ve been consistent as far as I can tell.” Reigen shrugged and crossed his arms. “He might just think you’re like that. Mob’s not the kind of kid to think too deeply about something that isn’t a problem.”
Teru slowly laid himself down on the kitchen floor, staring blankly up at the ceiling.
“My life is over.”
Reigen peered down at him. “Mm, I don’t miss middle school.”
Teru took a shuddering breath.
“Shigeo likes Tsubomi.”
Reigen shifted in his chair and grimaced. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he whispered. “He gets all jumpy and pink when she talks to him.”
“Does she act that way back?” Reigen asked gently.
Teru wished the answer to that made him feel better, but for some reason it didn’t. His chest got all achy when he thought about them hanging out no matter what.
“No…”
“Well, maybe nothing will come of it. Crushes fade. You seem to be in this for the long haul though, huh?”
Teru closed his eyes and wished the floor could rise up and swallow him whole. He laid there long enough that Reigen let out a hum and went back to eating dinner. Teru was sure he’d be hungry later, but for now his stomach was rolling with this newfound realization. At some point Reigen nudged at his elbow with his toe. Teru covered his face and whined.
Reigen smothered a laugh, but he didn’t try again.
Teru’s thoughts meandered around until they made their way to something a little different. Related, but… But Teru had noticed something recently. Or noticed a complete lack of something, that is.
“Reigen?” Teru raised his arm just enough to see a sliver of his dad.
Reigen twisted to peer down at him again.
“Yeah?”
“You can tell me to shut up if I’m being nosy, okay? I asked if you thought girls were pretty, but do you even like girls?” Teru said, and his voice was so quiet that Reigen had to lean in to hear him.
“Do I like girls?” Reigen repeated flatly.
“Or boys, or anybody I guess. I just. I know you have me and I’m… I take a lot of your time and we’re really busy. But I’ve never seen you go on a date or even look at anybody. You’re young and single and I-“ Teru swallowed, nerves nearly getting the best of him. “Did keeping me mess up relationship stuff for you? Did you stop looking because of me?”
Silence rang through the kitchen.
And then Reigen got out of his seat and sat on the floor beside him, shaking his head.
“Oh Teru, no. Buddy, I don’t want you to worry about that kind of thing, okay?” He put a hand on Teru’s knee and gave him a tight grin. “You didn’t mess anything up. Never. I chose to keep you all on my own, I mean it. I’m not missing out on some great romance. I’m not looking for anyone now, and I wasn’t before you came along either. Nothing changed.”
Teru thought of Reigen’s twin bed, his fingers twining absently into his hair as he took that in.
“You don’t want to date anyone at all?”
“I don’t.”
“Is that lonely?”
Reigen blinked. “Well, I don’t think so. I mean I was kind of a lonely bum before you came along, but that was because I’m annoying and I didn’t have any friends. But now I have you, and I have all the Kageyamas and the Suzukis, and even Inukawa’s dad invites me to a quick work lunch once in a while. And Serizawa, of course. So I’m not lonely at all.”
Teru didn’t a hundred percent understand, but there was a good deal of relief seeping into his bones. He sat up and pushed himself over until he bumped into Reigen’s side.
“Okay.”
Reigen squeezed the back of his neck, thumb rubbing at the fine hair there.
“I don’t want you to worry about me, okay? You’ve got your work cut out for you with Mob. Nice choice by the way. He’s a keeper. Good kid. Nice family. Only one little brother that will probably kill you if you mess something up,” Reigen said cheerfully.
“Oh my god,” Teru lamented. He buried his face in his hands before Reigen could see how pink he was turning.
“Ooh, wow. Look at those red ears.”
Teru drooped down and laid his head on Reigen’s leg. Covered his ears and groaned.
“Don’t look at me, I’m dying.”
“Mm, very dramatic. I raised you right.”
Teru made a face at the patronizing way Reigen was patting his back. He had to go to school tomorrow and see Shigeo and Tsubomi and oh god, Ritsu. He wasn’t going to make it.
Middle school was the worst.