Work Text:
Their boots sunk into the sludgy mud with each step Sirius Black and James Potter took, only to be wrenched up again, splattering their robes with flecks of mud they had dislodged. The harsh wind beat against their faces and they had to hold onto each other to keep steady. It had been worse only a few moments ago, when they had been on their brooms, Sirius attempting to bat the loose Bludgers, though he could not see his teammates and James trying to throw the Quaffle into the goal posts that were obscured by the pouring rain. Alas, Quidditch was never canceled.
They had lost to Hufflepuff, 50 to 160. James kept grumbling under his breath. Sirius didn't bother to try and lift his friend's spirits because he felt the same. They had lost to Hufflepuff and were now, having been beaten by Slytherin in their last match, out of the running for the Quidditch cup.
After what seemed to be hours of chilling rain invading their skin, the two friends reached Hogwarts castle.
"Out of my way!" came the voice of Marlene Mckinnon as she shoved past James and ran into the Entrance Hall.
"Love you too!" James managed to roll his eyes through shudders. He put on a smile, turning to Sirius. "What's say we go down the kitchens, aye? Drown our sorrows in Firewhiskey?"
"Tempting," Sirius said, shivering. "Lets go."
But neither one moved. Their eyes were tired, their robes heavy and dripping, their shoes soggy. And don't even ask Sirius about his hair...he might have a nervous breakdown.
They exchanged glances.
"So bed then?"
"So bed then."
This time they did not hesitate. They dashed off in the direction of Gryffindor Tower, having pushed their failed game from their minds and thinking only of their warm dry beds. By now the House Elves would have warmed the beds with pans and hot water bottles. Sirius's mouth watered just thinking about it.
"I see it is raining," The Fat Lady said, looking at their soaking figures up and down, with her eyes narrowed and an amused smirk on her face.
Neither James nor Sirius acknowledged her. Instead, they both breathed out the password in unison. "Festoon!"
The Fat Lady frowned, clearly wishing to express that she was put out, but her friend Violet came zooming to her just as she swung open to admit them.
The common room was void of life. Sirius supposed everyone was in bed by now, the match had gone late. Else, they were lost in the gale outside and probably dead. But no need to dwell on that.
Not saying a word, the boys's feet moved below them, across the common room, up the steps and through the door to their dorms.
Only then did they pause. Two of the four poster bed's curtains were drawn. If it had just been Peter asleep, Sirius and James would have woken him immediately, jumping on his mattress or pushing him off. Only it wasn't. Remus was sleeping too. And when Remus slept, you kept quiet.
James and Sirius peeled off their sorry excuses for rain resistant robes (to be honest, James probably didn't do the water repelling charm right). James hopped into his own four poster, pulling the covers over his head.
Sirius thought he heard a mumbled "Night, Padfoot" but he couldn't be sure.
Sirius pulled his pajamas over his shaggy black hair. His hands were so numb, he had to triple check he was actually touching something. His nerve endings seemed to be on holiday.
Without further ado, Sirius jumped into his bed, his comforter providing a small amount of relief. He felt his eyelids droop.
And he was asleep.
He was awoken in the middle of the night, dosed in ice water.
"Peeves!" He said spitefully, as the poltergeist cackled and hurdled himself out of the room. He tore off his now drenched sleep shirt and threw it at James's face. He didn't wake up, merely shoved the wet garment off and rolled over.
Sirius was as chilled to the bone as he was when he had been on the Quidditich pitch, and now, just as wet. He lay there for a moment, his toes unfeeling, his feet and hands numb, his face bitten by cold. He could hear James muttering something about a "corn hob" and "fuddy-duddy" in his sleep. Peter's loud snores could be heard across the room as well and though Sirius could not see him, he supposed Remus was in his bed, quiet as the grave.
Sitting up and swinging his feet onto the floor, Sirius stood. His bed creaked as he did so and he froze (no pun intended) as Peter's snores stopped. He listened and then the noise started up again. Pulling on a new pair of sleep clothes and slipping on the fuzzy maroon slippers on the floor, Sirius left the dorm. All Sirius could think about was the warm fire in the common room fireplace and the bottle of Fire whiskey he had hid behind the mantle (jinxed of course so that only he could get to it).
Upon entering the common room, Sirius had expected to be alone. And he thought he was. But as he approached the roaring fire, its warmth already soothing his goosepimple ridden flesh, he saw a figure was already sitting in front of the fire, their silhouette outlined by the light.
"Hello?" Sirius asked, curious as to who else was up at this hour.
The figure's head looked to him, and Sirius should have guessed. Of course it was the sleepless wonder, Remus Lupin.
"Sirius," Remus said, his eyebrows raised. "I thought you were asleep."
"Yeah well, Peeves is a bitch."
Remus's mouth twitched upward into a smile. "I thought he seemed happy zooming out of here."
Sirius growled at the thought of Peeves benefiting from his misery.
They stared at each other a moment. Sirius couldn't pinpoint why but the atmosphere seemed awkward, tense.
Remus patted the bit of floor beside him. "If you need to warm up-"
Sirius didn't wait for him to finish. "Yeah!"
He rushed over, and felt like a naked frozen chicken out to thaw as the heat hit him. He went to grab his Firewhiskey, much to a disapproved look from Remus.
"What?" Sirius smiled, sitting beside his friend. "You want some too?" He uncorked the bottle and held it close to Remus's face.
He rolled his eyes and pushed it away. "No, thank you, Padfoot."
"Suit yourself, more for me." He took a swig and enjoyed the burning down his throat. He felt warmth radiate from the inside out.
"Ah..." he sighed, leaning back and resting on the sofa back behind him. He stared into the red, fiery, depths. There wasn't much else to look at. He drank several more drinks. Eventually he pulled his eyes away from the fire to see Remus starring at him. He quickly looked away, however. Sirius shrugged it off.
"Why are you up?" Sirius inquired. Had he not been warm and in good humour from the alcohol, he would have lectured Remus on his poor sleeping habits.
"Full moon is tomorow."
"So?"
Remus swallowed and looked at him again. "So...I am just a little jittery about it is all."
Sirius moved his head to the side. "Don't worry, we got great stuff planned. It'll be fun."
"Fun for you," he said, biting his lip.
Sirius nudged him. "Come on, Moony. Buck up. Aren't you use-"
"No, I'm not used to it," Remus snapped. "I'll never be used to it. I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate...I hate...I hate not being in control of myself."
Blinking rapidly, Sirius starred at his friend. He fidgeted with the smoking bottle in his hands. "Remus, mate," He muttered. "I'm sorry, I didn"t mean it like that...honestly. It will be okay. James and I will make sure of it."
Remus hung his head. Sirius thought maybe he was regretting snapping at him just now. "I know," he said. He looked up at Sirius and smiled. Sirius had expected something forced, a small smile that meant Remus was just putting in a face. But no. This smile was wide and genuine.
Sirius smiled back, though warily. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was...off.
They sat in silence for a moment. They watched the tongues of flame lap at the brittle wood kindling it. For several minutes that was all they did. Looking into the fire, enjoying the warmth it gave. Not speaking a word and not sparring the other a glance. Sirius thought he might fall asleep where he sat, but...
"Hold me."
His eyes, which he had unwittingly closed, opened to see Remus looking at him. "Huh?"
Remus's voice was quiet. His gaze moved away, nervously. "Hold me...please."
It was an unusual request, but what was an innocent hug between friends? Sirius had often wrapped his arms around Remus to comfort him, especially before and after a moon. And it did calm him.
Sirius wrapped an arm loosely around Remus, in a casual manner, like he would to James. Remus moved in closer, resting his head in Sirius's chest.
Heat rose in Sirius's face and he forgot that he had ever been a walking icicle. Remus was so close...too close. This didn't feel like something friends did. It was like holding one if his girlfriends. Only...diffrent. Like there was an actual feeling there. Like there was something more than just touching here.
What was Sirius missing?
Sirius saw Remus's eyes flutter, saw every movement he made as his chest rose and fell smoothly, watched as Remus turned his head up to look at him. That was new. Remus had towered over him since second year.
But here he was laying down, looking up at him, expectancy in his eyes. Had Remus been a girl, Sirius would have leaned over and kissed him by now. But no...it had never been like that between them.
Remus's gaze was fixated on him, eyes searching, lips parted. Was he waiting for something? Sirius's mind spun into overdrive. What did Remus need? What was he supposed to do? Sirius starred back at him, blinking questioningly at his friend.
Remus let out a soft sigh, not in irritation, but in resigned disappointment. He pulled away from Sirius's grasp and as he did so, Sirius realized he had wrapped both his arms tightly around Remus and pulled him closer as a reflex. Sirius starred silently as Remus got up, his eyes on the floor. Sirius couldn't tell but he thought he saw a blush in his friend's face.
"Thanks, Sirius," Remus muttered, though the words were barely audible.
Sirius watched him leave and it occurred to him he might have missed something big just now. But what was it?