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Reki told himself he wouldn't watch the "S" tournament.
He and Langa just had their argument recently, one, because Langa broke his promise and two, because of his own burdensome feelings. The atmosphere between them at school was awkward, and even though the redhead felt guilty for making Langa sad, he knew it would be best for them to give each other some space.
It's not like Reki thought that one of them was clearly in the wrong. Well, he was upset at Langa for breaking his promise, but he knew why he did it. Reki knew; he only couldn't understand. Langa didn't know what was bugging him too, and that was on Reki for not telling.
In the end, Reki knew it was about his insecurities more than anything, and that's why he needed the time to think.
I was doing so well yesterday by not coming to the qualifiers, Reki thought as he maneuvered through the crowd, so why did I go here again?
"Don't ever end up by yourself," Joe said to him in the ramen place earlier. It sounded like a wish or even a prayer, Reki didn't know, but what he knew was that Joe meant it.
Reki just sighed.
The abandoned mine was livelier than usual due to the influx of hyped people for the tournament. The holographic screen set up for the "S" tournament was larger than the ones they had for regular beefs. The grandiosity of it all might have impressed the others, but it only made the redhead's stomach turn.
Reki didn't cross paths with his friends yet, which was good. He honestly didn't know how to interact with them right now.
Especially Langa.
Langa, who's now skateboarding in Reki's direction seemingly looking for someone.
That someone being him.
Shoot!
Panic seizing his veins, Reki scrambled to find an escape route. Luckily, he found a group of people squatting behind him and decided to blend in with them. Sitting with the small crowd, he pulled his hood even further to hide his face.
The person beside him with a purple mohawk gave him an odd eye. "Who are yo- hmpph!"
Reki hastily covered his mouth with his hand and made a "quiet" sign with the other. "Shh! Let me join you for a bit."
The man looked like he was about to chew Reki's ear off, but the look of anger on his face transitioned to that of curiosity. "Aren't you..."
His voice trailed off, but the redhead could almost hear his next words.
... that lowlife nobody who hangs around SNOW?
The bitterness from the other day engulfed Reki like an inextinguishable flame once more, and for a split second, he thought of going home, but-
"Reki!"
Reki's blood froze. Slowly, he turned around, and sure enough, looming over him was Langa with knees bent, his skateboard tucked on his arm.
"You came after all!"
Langa's bright expression was starkly different from the one he wore earlier in the morning when Reki ignored him. A sharp pang of guilt hit the latter's chest. The blue-haired boy still treats him so warmly, and yet he...
Reki stood up and focused his gaze on Langa's shoes, unable to look at the other in the eye just yet. "Joe convinced me to come, so..."
"I see. That's a relief to hear."
The reply was followed by an awkward silence. Reki didn't dare talk; he didn't exactly trust himself to say anything right now. He knew their argument the other day was hurting both of them; it's just unnecessary to drive the nail deeper. He can't even tell Langa "good luck" because he's still firmly against him fighting ADAM. Add to that his own insecurities...
Just as the dark thoughts start to cloud his head, Reki felt a hand gently wrap around his wrist. Langa's.
"Reki," Langa said his name so softly that Reki couldn't help but look up to meet those warm, green eyes. "Can we talk for a moment? There's still time before the start of the races."
He didn't want to. Langa didn't deserve to bear the burden of his ugly emotions, plus Reki's still feeling upset about the broken promise. If they talk now, there's a big chance it might not end well.
But...
If they don't meet each other in the middle, they'll just continue missing each other, and that would hurt more than anything.
Maybe they can try.
"Okay."
Not letting go of Reki's wrist, Langa led both of them to an area with lesser people. The two leaned on the spot on the wall not too far away from the main stage. Once they settled, Reki pushed back his hood. There was no use hiding now. The pair stayed quiet for a few moments, obviously not knowing where to start.
When the silence became too much to bear, Reki decided to speak first.
"Langa-"
"Reki, sor-"
The two looked at each other in surprise.
"Y-You first," Reki urged. His throat felt like it was lined with sandpaper.
Langa nodded and didn't waste a beat. With a remorseful expression, he started, "Reki, I'm sorry. I screwed up. I broke our promise."
"To be honest, when you told me not to get involved with ADAM anymore, I felt hesitant. During the beef with him, I was gripped with an unfamiliar sensation. It's like I was being drawn to him, and even though he's a dangerous person, I acknowledge that he's an excellent skater. I wanted to fight with him again, and I wanted to know the feeling I felt. My promise itself was made half-heartedly, and that's why I broke it so easily. Instead of lying, I should have just told the truth. I have no excuses for that. Sorry."
Should have just told the truth, huh... In that case, Reki was no better.
And so, Reki looked back to their fight and went over again the things he didn't explain properly, starting with ADAM. "When I raced with ADAM and sustained those injuries, I was terrified. It didn't make me feel excited. When he charged toward me like that, I thought I was going to die. It's the worst feeling."
"It must have been uncomfortable hearing me talk about him," Langa replied guiltily. "Sorry, I was insensitive-"
"And I'm worried that he'll hurt you too." Seriousness laced Reki's tone as he recalled that dream he had the other day of Langa getting hurt. "Maybe even worse than what he did to me. I still don't understand how you could risk your life like that. Even if it's skateboarding..."
But isn't that the reason why Langa's different from him? After all, he said it himself that he and Langa aren't a good match anymore. Langa's delighted in the prospect of fighting strong opponents even at the cost of his well-being, and he has the skills to back it up. Reki's just...
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"I was feeling left behind." The words spill out of Reki's mouth before he can stop them.
"Eh?" Reki could hear the shock and confusion in Langa's voice. "Eh? Why would you feel that way?"
No backing out now. Reki needed to be honest to Langa, just like how Langa had been honest to him.
"I was feeling left behind because you're all so much better at skateboarding than me. I'm always struggling to keep up, but you're always ahead of me. You and the others, you're all amazing. It's like you can reach for the sky whenever you wanted. All I have are broken wings."
The redhead laughed mirthlessly, leaving behind a bitter smile as the aftermath.
"It's lame, right? I don't even know if it's just insecurity I'm feeling or something more complicated. But what I know is that you don't deserve someone who feels bad because you're doing great. At this point, I can never fly like you do, and I'll just hold you back. That's why..."
The redhead bit his lip. He can't believe he just ran his mouth off like that. This was what he meant when he said it might not end well-
Suddenly, hands gripped Reki's shoulders. He's being spun around, and before he knew it, he's already hit full force with the, is that anger? in those deep, green eyes. Langa looked at him like he just said the most ridiculous things in the world, and that alone made him want to cry.
"I don't like you talking like that about yourself!"
This might be the loudest Reki heard the soft-spoken Langa speak, and for such an unusual reason too. He felt like a child being scolded by his mother, but strangely enough, it didn't make him feel bad.
The determination on the blue-haired boy's face rendered Reki speechless. In the quiet, empty space, the redhead let himself be overwhelmed by the force of Langa's real feelings.
"Reki.” Langa’s grip on Reki’s shoulders tightened. “You're an amazing and wonderful person. You know how to build skateboards, and you even customized my wheels for me. You have a good eye for things too. Just from watching me skate, you already know what problems I am having, and just like that, you immediately have an idea how to fix them. Isn't that also the reason why you can teach skateboarding so well? You're smart, observant, and creative. I'm not any of those."
"But I'm not..." Reki found himself interrupting. He's happy that Langa thinks so highly of him, but- "-with skating itself, I-"
"You're an amazing skater too!" Langa's bright smile and his tone, devoid of any pretense and fakery, served to confuse Reki even more. Because from Langa's lips, the words didn't sound like a mockery at all. "When there's a trick you want to do, you practice like crazy until you manage to do it. You're hardworking and passionate. When I watch you skate, I feel like I can do everything."
But he's... Just the other day, Reki gave up on replicating the trick Langa did. Does he really deserve all this praise?
However, memories of him from when he first started skating started to flash in his mind like a highlight reel. The time he practiced for weeks, months even, just to nail his first ollie. How the number of times he fell also equaled the times he rose again every time he practiced skateboarding. All those bruises, cuts, and injuries he got, Reki endured them all because he loved what he was doing.
Maybe, just maybe... the one instance he gave up doesn't erase all the other times he didn't. And that while his skills are inferior to others, it doesn't mean they don't have any worth at all.
Just like that, the baggage in Reki's heart felt lighter.
But Langa was not yet done. He bent a little so that he's eye-to-eye with Reki. The affection in his eyes was enough to make Reki melt. However, his eyes also reflected a completely different emotion that Reki couldn't point out.
It's almost like...
"Most of all, you're kind. And you have so much love to give to everyone around you. So when you have days when you're feeling down, you don't have to act like everything's fine. And you don't have to beat yourself up over it. You can always rely on me."
"I'll never leave you behind because you're my favorite person in the world, Reki."
The rush of fondness and affection Reki felt from those words was enough for tears to gather at the corner of his eyes. Lips trembling, he bowed his head and quickly rubbed the moisture away, but some still managed to escape. Belatedly, he realized that his cap was knocked off from the force of Langa spinning him around earlier. He didn't even have his bandana with him. He felt so vulnerable.
This is so embarrassing, crying in front of him like this.
But he feels good. Better even. All thanks to Langa. It's incredible how the blue-haired boy can both break him into pieces and put him back together.
He was still shaking a little when Reki felt the gentle pressure of hands on his back. Realizing that Langa was about to hug him, he pulled away. The other looked a little dejected as he did so, but when Reki finally smiled at him for the first time since their fight, Langa's shoulders noticeably relaxed.
"Reki..." The relief in his voice was evident.
Amused, Reki punched him lightly in the chest and teased, "You're way too honest. At least hold back a little."
That seemed to confuse Langa. "Should I not have?"
"Pft-" A giggle escaped Reki's lips before he can even think about it. He wrapped his hands around his stomach, now hurting from the bubbling laughter he's trying so hard to contain. "That was a joke, sorry. But thank you. You made me feel better, really."
Langa initially pouted, but his smile soon came back. He rubbed the back of his neck shyly. "My mom told me to be honest to people I like, so... "
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Reki's eyes widened. "Eh?"
He saw the moment realization dawned on Langa’s face at what he just let slip. He gaped at his friend like a fish, a full-blown stuttering mess. “I-I mean, th-that was…”
... Did he hear that right?
"... Because I'm your friend?" The redhead didn't know why he felt the need to clarify it, just that he wanted to know.
Reki didn't expect for the life of him for a blush to rapidly spread on the taller's cheeks. Langa squirmed under Reki’s gaze and nervously fiddled with his fingers.
A surge of warmth rushed to Reki's cheeks at the sight. Why was he also getting nervous?
“I wasn't exactly thinking like that..."
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Why is it getting hotter and hotter in here?
"W-What type of like were you thinking, then?"
"Like... uh..."
Langa struggled with his words like a toddler, and when he finally found the correct words to say, it turned Reki's world upside down.
"Like... like-like. Probably."
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Out of the blue, the lights all turned off except for the main stage's. There were explosions followed by chaotic cheering (ADAM's grand entrance most likely), but everything was muted to Reki's ears except for the crazy pounding of his heart inside him.
Langa likes me. Langa likes me.
Langa grabbed Reki - Reki's hand this time, the shorter registered, and his brain kinda short-circuited- and together, they made a beeline for the main stage. Once they blended in with the main crowd- Shadow, Miya, Joe, and Cherry were not yet in sight - they paused for a while to regain their breathing. Reki felt dizzy, and he knew it wasn’t from running.
As soon as their breaths calmed down, Langa squeezed Reki's hand.
"Can we talk more later? I want us to reconcile properly, that is if you're okay with that."
Reki squeezed back. "Okay. There are still other things I want to apologize for too, so..."
"And about the other thing too..."
Yeah, that. Reki's 100% sure he looked like a tomato now.
"O-Okay."
"And Reki."
"Hm?"
"I want you to watch me. I'll win against every single person here. With this board you made and everything you taught me.
"And then I'll come back to you, like always."
Reki felt the weight of Langa's gaze on him, and when he turned to look, he saw pure resolve on the other's face. A new vow was being forged right then and there, and this time, Reki knew that Langa had no intention of breaking it.
Once again, he'll put his heart on the line.
"Is that a new promise?"
"It is."
Reki fixed his gaze to the stage and smiled softly. ADAM was there, performing his usual theatrics. He'll be a formidable opponent to beat. Reki still doesn't agree with Langa fighting him, but this time, he'll put his trust in the blue-haired boy.
"Good luck, Langa. I'll be watching. And don't get hurt."
Even if he was looking ahead, Reki knew that Langa had the same smile on his face. "Thank you."
"Langa! And Reki?! You actually came!"
Reki registered late that he and Langa were still holding hands. The latter probably did, too, since they pulled away at the same time. On their right, their four friends rushed to meet them with Miya in tow who called them out. Joe gave Reki a knowing smile, to which he smiled back. The six huddled together as ADAM announced the first match-up of the night: Shadow vs. Harry.
As they watched Shadow run toward the starting line, Langa brushed his hand ever so slightly against Reki's, and Reki knew they'll be okay.
Even with these insecurities and arguments, and especially with these newfound feelings, they'll be okay.
Because they have each other.