Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

TOMMYINNIT has added HONK, Wimblur, God, ranboo, bicon, Quack man, and 16 others to a chat.

TOMMYINNIT has named the chat SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

TOMMYINNIT: ELLO BITCHES

twobo: that is so incredably rude

Wimblur: that hurts my feelings

Muffins!: Laungauge!

TOMMYINNIT: fuck

Muffins!: >:0

Quack man: pussy

Muffins: QUACKITY

Swipnip: is it bullying bad time

Muffins!: Sapnap :(

ranboo: this is already been a mistake

Wimblur: tommy when did you even have time to make this aren't you in class

TOMMYINNIT: no its not ranboob this is great

ranboo: thats

ranboo: thats not my name

Muffins: All of you go back to class

Swipnip: pfffffffffffffft education who needs it amirite????

twobo: yes

Muffins!: No!!! >:(

Quack man: oh god oh no not the angry face

Quack man: sapnap you've envoked the rage of bad boy halo

Quack man: run before he gets the belt

Swipnip: shittttttttttttt

Wimblur: tommy

Muffins!: Quackity

Swipnip: running rn

Quack man: shit i'll run with u

Swipnip: heart emoji

Wimblur: tommathy

Quack man: did you just fucking type out heart emoji instead of putting the emoji?

Swipnip: shrugging emoji

Quack man: fuck man never mind i hate you i'll kiss karl instead

ranboo: just watched tommy get detention for being on his phone

Wimblur: sigh

Swipnip: NO

Swipnip: QUACKITY

twobo: LOL

Muffins!: Ranboo! get off your phone and pay attention to class before you get dentention too!

ranboo: ok mr halo

Swipnip: heart been broke so many times

-

SMALL BITCHES AND NE BIG MAN

God: is this hell

Swipnip: dream kiss me rn

God: ew

HONK: WOAH SAPNAP WHAT THE HONK

Swipnip: KARL

HONK: SAPNAP!!!

Quack man: look at him

Quack man: falling to such low levels

God: i hate it here

Swipnip: KARL IM SORRY

HONK: I DONT THINK I CAN FORGIVE YOU

Swipnip: KARL PLEASE

Quack man: beg

God: someone save me

Swipnip: I WILL NOT

Quack man: k me n and karl will kiss without u

Swipnip: NOOOOO

HONK: YOU TRIED TO KISS DREAM

Quack man: YEAH LIKE WTF

Swipnip: ITS QUACKITY'S FAULT

HONK: WOAH THATS KINDA RUDE

Quack man: MY FEELINGS ARE SO SO HURT

Quack man: LITERALLY CRYING RN

Funds: wtf is happening

God: finally, someone sane

HONK: DW QUACKITY I'LL KISS YOUR TEARS AWAY WHERE ARE YOU

Swipnip: GUYS

Quack man: FUCK BRO DMS

Swipnip: GUYS PLEASE

Funds: why am i here

HONK: OK QUACKITY LOVE OF MY LIFE

God: no clue

God: we're just her to suffer ig

Swipnip: G U Y S

Funds: i am very much suffering

God: me too

Swipnip: GUYS?

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

ranboo: free from hell at last

twobo: f for tommy whos in detenton

ranboo: f

HONK: f

Give me your lunch money: f

Wimblur: f for tech who has to pick up tommy later because i cant drive

bicon: f

blade: fuck you

Quack man: wilbur you cannot drive??????

Wimblur: father does not trust me with a vehicle

Funds: sad

Wimblur: MY SON!

Quack man: lol sucks to suck

Wimblur: SAYS YOU WHO RIDES A FUCKING BIKE

Funds: father

Quack man: CARS ARE FUCKING EXPENSIVE MR "MY FATHER IS FINACIALY STABLE"

God: woah

ranboo: um,,,

ranboo:does anyone have a spare umbrella?,,

twobo: come to front of school

ranboo: k

Funds: tense silence,

God: yea

HONK: yikes

lost: wha

God: are you finally up

lost: dont bully me im colorblind

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Wimblur: quackity i am sorry if i hurt you, i was trying to make a joke i didnt realize it would upset you

Quack man: ik dude i just got pissed

Wimblur: we can move forward?

Quack man: yeah

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

TOMMYINNIT: TECHNOBLADE

blade: im here you fool

TOMMYINNIT: OH

TOMMYINNIT: tubzo

TOMMYINNIT: when have you ever just had 2 umbrellas

ranboo: he said his dad was gonna pick him up so i could give it back tmrrw

TOMMYINNIT: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

twobo: dont hmmmm

TOMMYINNIT: i'll hmmmm if i want

twobo: >:(

ranboo: scary tubbo

TOMMYINNIT: who are you bbh

twobo: bbh in desguise

ranboo: gasp

Muffins!: ?

ranboo: HES BEEN SUMMONED

twobo: OH GOD

TOMMYINNIT: FUCK

Muffins!: LANGUAGE TOMMY!

TOMMYINNIT: I DO WHAT I WANT BITCH

Muffins!: Tommy!!

blade: stop harrasing people

TOMMYINNIT: stop texting and driving

TOMMYINNIT: wilbur would not text and drive

Wimblur: have you met me

twobo: wilbur would purposely crash the car

TOMMYINNIT: shit youre right

TOMMYINNIT: also t-bo since when does your dad pick you up

twobo: since today

twobo: since i asked

TOMMYINNIT: HMMMMMMM

twobo: stop hmmming me

twobo: im goimg to do hw

TOMMYINNIT: alr big man

-

Phil to little bee

Phil: You got home safe with the rain?

little bee: yeah

Phil: Tommy was worried

little bee: he shouldn't be

Phil: if you say so

Phil: Would you like to stay over on Saturday?

little bee: uh sure!

Phil: Okay, come around noon and I'll make lunch

little bee: okay :)

 /p

Chapter Text

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Wimblur: i have just found out that one tubbo underscore is co,ing to my house and neither my father nor my gremlin brother told me i am raging

ranboo: this is a problem why?

Wimblur: i always buy tubbo candy and now i dont have time

twobo: D:

TOMMYINNIT: good, tubbo never shares

twobo: DD:

TOMMYINNIT: wilbur you should get me candy, i am your brother

Wimblur: no

Wimblur: you are gremlin, tubbo is my brother now

TOMMYINNIT: i am going to run away rn

twobo: tommy i am omw to ur hluse rn dont leave

TOMMYINNIT: fucking fine i guess

-

Tommy reluctantly slides the brigtly colored disc into the wii, scowling
as Tubbo bounces on his heels, green remote that Phil had bought him held tight in his hands.

Tommy's scowl only deepens as Just Dance 4 loads. He steps back, raising his red remote to the screen and pressing play. Tubbo looks just about ready to explode.

The sound of the game is loud. Tubbo leans im close to him. "Do the One Direction one." He says, eyes alight.

"No," Tommy grumbles, because he still has his pride. "No way."

Tubbo frowns, pulling wide, puppy dog eyes. "Please?" He leans in even closer.

Tommy lightly shoves him away. "I'm not doing that."

Tubbo pouts, but before he can say anything, Wilbur quite literally skids into the room, socks slidding on wood. His hair is slightly messy, and theres a maniacle grin on his face. "I heard Just Dance."

Tubbo whoops loudly. "Yes! Join us Wilbur!"

Wilbur cackles, launching himself over the couch to snag his yellow remote, quickly turning it on. "We're doing the One Direction one, right?"

"Yes!" Tubbo exclaims, at the same time Tommy huffs out a "No."

Tubbo and Wilbur both share a look, and then Tommy's best friend is tackling him into the couch. Tommy squawks, red wings flapping. Wilbur is quick to slide his red wii remote from distracted fingers.

Tubbo chuckles as Tommy tries to shove him off, watching helplessly as Wilbur rearanges the order of the remotes, setting his to first and Tommy's to third.

Tommy finally manages to push Tubbo to the floor, huffing as Wilbur tosses back the remote. Tubbo whoops again, scrambling up as Wilbur selects that god forsaken dance.

Tommy kind of wants to kick Wilbur in the knee.

They dance together rather aggesively, doing the jumping and energetic movement while shouting the lyrics as Tommy does half hearted arm movements.

Tubbo is his friend, not Wilbur's.

Techno ambles down the stairs about an hour later, in the middle of (I've had) The Time Of My Life, Wilbur and Tubbo doing the dance duet together. Techno shoots Tommy a sympathetic look.

"Tech, Techno, the Blade, my favorite brother ever, please save me,"

Techno's eyebrow raises, his gaze slides lazily to Wilbur and Tubbo, practically screaming the song at the top of their lungs. Techno grunts, scratching behind his ear.

"You two are givin me a headache." He says.

They don't seem to hear him as Wilbur dramatically dips Tubbo, much, much more dramatic than the dance actually is.

Techno sighs, makes a vauge gesture, and heads outside, Tommy's quick to follow suit.

Phil is tending to the plants they've planted outside. He looks up upon hearing the front door open and shut, eyebrow raising.

"Why aren't you with Tubbo?" The question is directed at Tommy, who shifts and pulls a face, clicking his tognue.

Phil chuckles a little, standing up and brushing his hands together. "I left the second I heard Just Dance starting up, I know how Wilbur gets."

"You got the right idea," Techno grunts as Tommy scowls, eyes narrowing. "'M surprised you can't hear em through th' walls."

Phil smiles, clapping Tommy on the shoulder. "Well, it's almost time for dinner, yeah? We can go get those two and eat out, no more Just Dance for the night."

Tommy brightens a little at that. He can take Tubbo back from Wilbur that way.

Phil leads them inside just in time to watch Wilbur dip Tubbo again, because they were doing the same fucking song again, and drop him.

Tubbo squawks in pain as his back hits the hard, wood floor. His head makes a loud smack sound as it hits the ground.

Wilbur yelps, dropping to his knees and wraps his arms around Tubbo, practically pulling the teen into his lap. "Tubbo!" He cries, loudly. "Tubbo I'm sorry!"

Tubbo looks.. not quite all there, his eyes are slightly shiny.

Tommy scowls, marching up and kicking Wilbur in the leg. "Wilbur," He sits beside them. "Let go, dumbass."

He wrangles Tubbo from Wilbur's arms, and his best friend's gaze darts about and then settles on Tommy, flashing him a sheepish smile complemented by watery eyes.

"Are you okay?" Tommy asks, hands hovering uselessly. Tubbo doesn't like to be touched after he gets hurt. Tommy doesn't know why, he's never asked.

Tubbo glances at Wilbur, chews his bottom lip. "Yeah," He says after a moment, face slightly flushed. "I'm alright."

Wilbur shifts. "I'm sorry," He says genuinely. "I wasn't expecting to drop you.."

Tubbo smiles again, gaze snapping to the corner nervously. "It's okay, Wil, I don't blame you."

I do, Tommy thinks bitterly.

Phil comes around, smiling gently at the boys as Tommy helps Tubbo off the floor. "You sure you're alright, mate? It seems like you hit your head pretty hard."

Tubbo doesn't look at Phil either, instead reaching up to prod at the back of his head. "I think I'm alright." His fingers come back spotted in blood. "Oh," He says faintly.

Tommy sighs, and starts to walk into the kitchen, gesturing for the smaller boy to follow. "Come on, Tubzo, let's get you fixed up."

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Wimblur: today i dropped tubbo on the wood floor

Quack man: YOU DID WHAT??

Wimblur: i am in anguish. pain. i almost cried

twobo: it was not that bad

Wimblur: TUBBO YOU BLED

HONK: oh honk

Muffins!: Are you okay Tubbo??

twobo: >:|

twobo: im fine

Wimblur: i may be in emotional distress but at least i have pancakes

God: pancakes?? its??? dinner time?????

Wimblur: pancakes.

funds: pancakes are good anytime

God: so true

TOMMYINNIT: that is the complete opposite of what you just said, big man

Swipnip: woah dream???? changing his opinion for someone???? whipped???

God: SAPNAP

funds: wh

God: sapnap is hate criming me in dms im going to die now

Swipnip: GOOD

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Swipnip: @God DREAM KISS ME RN

God: sapnap stfu im trying to EAT

Swipnip: KISS ME

God: :gags:

Swipnip: WTFFFFFFFFFFF

Swipnip: @lost GEORGE KISS ME

Swipnip: @lost GEORGE

ranboo: i dont want to be here

Swipnip: @lost GEORGE!!!!

Swipnip: @lost

Swipnip: @lost

Swipnip: @lost

Swipnip: @lost @lost @lost @lost

give me your lunch money: omg george not found??

God: he's lost

Swipnip: @lost GEORGE I WANT YOU TO BE FOUND

give me your lunch money: he can't be found

Swipnip: @lost GEORGEEEEEEEEE

lost: SAPNAP OMG SHUT UP!!!!!!

Swipnip: KISS ME RN

God: omg he's been found

lost: NO

give me your lunch money: the impossible has been done???

Swipnip: JUST ONE KISS

God: we have to put him in a museum

God: quick, preserve him

lost: NO ILL VOMIT

Swipnip: WHA

Swipnip: GEORE THAT IS SO MEAN

Swipnip: GEORGE

Swipnip: GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

give me your lunch money: he's been driven away by a wild sapnap

God: the sapnaps mating call has scared away the george, he will not be found for another thousand years

Swipnip: DREAM SHUT UP

God: :]

Chapter Text

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

TOMMYINNIT: tubbo is still asleep and im bored

God: its??? 6 am on a sunday??

TOMMYINNIT: and? you're awake

God: i didnt sleep

TOMMYINNIT; oh

funds: yooo insomnia pog??

God: hell yea

God: you too?

funds: unfortunately

God: sorry about that man

funds: you too

funds: it sucks

God: yeah it does

God: at least we have someone to talk to during the night now??

funds: true, true

TOMMYINNIT: are you guys like

TOMMYINNIT: in... love

funds: what?

God: NO?

TOMMYINNIT: hmmm..

God: why would you

God: wh

funds: we were just talking about how we cant sleep????

TOMMYINNIT: sounded like flirting

God: WH

Swipnip: TRUEEEEEEEE

God: SAPNAP

Funds: i

God: WHY ARE YOU EVEN UP

Swipnip: i could sense that it was bully dream time

God: i hate you so so much

funds: mildly confused

TOMMYINNIT: are you guys going to kiss

God: NO??????

funds: we were literally just talking about insomnia why does that???? have to mean that we like each other?????

Swipnip: idk seemed pretty suspicious to me..

God: SAPNAP IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU

Swipnip: ;)

God: your life ends today

HONK: NOOOOO NOT SAPNAP! HE'S TOO HOT?

Swipnip: KARL??????

God: KARL?? YOURE UP? WHY?

funds: oh god

Swipnip: KARL ARE YOU TAKING ME BACK????

HONK: hmm... can't decide without quackity around

Swipnip: :[

Swipnip: karl please im desperate

Swipnip: i tried to kiss george

HONK: GEORGENOTFOUND?

God: i witnessed it, can confirm

TOMMYINNIT: this is boring now im going to go wake up tubbo

blade: you will not

HONK: smh sapnap

TOMMYINNIT: WHA

Swipnip: IM SORRY KARL

blade: i am not dealing with an exhausted tubbo

blade: wake him and no one will find your body

funds: technoblade threatening a child pogggggg

God: POGGGGGG

TOMMYINNIT: >:(

HONK: smh

Swipnip: :[

God: ah, the suffering of others

Swipnip: i could turn this shit on you so fast dream shut your mouth

God: zips mouth shut

God: but also fuck you

Swipnip: you wish

Swipnip: ANYWAYS KARL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?? LOOK IM BEGGING LIKE QUACKITY WANTED

HONK: hmm..

God: jesus christ i hate you

Swipnip: karl im going to cry rn

HONK: hmmmmmmm...

Swipnip: KARLCJVEOWIWBDBISVHUVHFOBJI

Quack man: SHUT TE FUCK UP OH MY GOD YPURE BLOWING UP MT PHONE

HONK: Q!!

Swipnip: QUACKITY

Swipnip: QUACKITY PLEASEEEE

Quack man: shut tf up im going back to sleep

Swipnip: :[[[[[[[

Chapter Text

When Techno creeps downstairs for coffee after a long, long night beating Dream on whatever game they played, he's met with the sight of Tubbo sitting atop the counter, nursing a glass of water.

His eyebrow raises slightly, and Tubbo jumps upon realizing he's there, almost dropping his cup. "Oh! Uh, Techno, hi,"

Techno grunts in response, heading further into the kitchen and to the coffee machine. "You're up early," He wouldn't necissarily say almost 8 am is early, but by Tubbo standards it most certainly is, also, "Where's Tommy?"

"Asleep, um, surprisingly," Tubbo's voice is slighly higher than it usually is. "I thought.. I figured he'd wake me up before the sun even came up but uh.. here we are."

Techno hums and starts up the machine, slotting his mug underneath. "It's a miracle, although he was plannin' on waking ya, I just didn' let 'im." He turns around to face the boy as he speaks.

Tubbo shifts, one hand finding the back of his neck, eyes drting to the side. "Oh, um, thanks? Although I guess it doesn't matter much now.." He trails off, tongue poking his cheek.

"Mm, well, it gave ya a couple extra hours, he got up at six." The steady thrum of the coffee machine fills the silence. Techno sighs, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "Why're ya up?"

Tubbo shifts, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, hooking his ankles together. "I don't.. I dunno," He looks tired, and he hunches over himself a bit. "I just, woke up, and couldn't go back to sleep."

Techno nods, turning back to his coffee, as it's done. He isn't quite sure that he believes that Tubbo 'just woke up', there's something in him that says it's wrong, not the truth, but Tubbo seems nervous from talking to him, so he doesn't push it.

He cradles the hot mug in his hand. "Well, if ya aren' goin' back to sleep you might as well wake Tommy, that'd probably make him happy."

Tubbo nods a little, hopping off the table and heading to the sink to wash out his cup. Techno leaves him to it, heading upstairs with his coffee. No point on making Tubbo anymore nervous by sitting there and watching him.

He wonders if Dream would be up for a rematch.

-

fearsome threesome

Pandas: Fundy: breathes

Pandas: dream: omg trueeee

Gogy: Fundy: exists

Gogy: Dream: marry me

Dweam: STOOOOOP

Dweam: you are disowned as my best friends GOODBYE

Pandas: we're just speaking the truth, my good sir

Dweam: i hate you both with every fiber of my being

Gogy: ;)

Dweam: UGH

Dweam: im going to go duel technoblade i hate you guys

Gogy: again???? you literally always lose

Dweam: SHUT UP

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

God: im taking best friend requests

God: sapnap and george are over

God: dream team disbanded

God: i hate them very, very much

funds: how many best friends will you have

God: two

funds: hmm

blade: friends are boring

God: starting to agree

lost: :(

Swipnip: :(

Muffins!: I'll be your best friend Dream!!

God: hired

Swipnip: dreaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

God: was that the wind?

God: anyways, anyone else?

lost: dreammmmmmmmm

blade: dream stop texting and fight me

God: hm. best friend search on hold im going to go fight technoblade.

-

Tommy stretches like a cat from underneath Tubbo, surprisingly content to just lay in bed for the time being. Tubbo is draped over his back on his stomach, absentmindedly watching the texts go by, humming softly.

"I'm hungry," Tommy groans, squirming slightly. "Let's go make food."

"Like what?" Tubbo chuckles softly, shifting his weight. "Neither of us can cook, and Phil never has any of the good cereal."

Tommy whines, kicking his feet against the bed. "But I'm hungryyyyyy."

Tubbo rolls his eyes, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Alright, alright, we can try to make something, I suppose."

Tommy cheers, and pushes himself up on his elbows, causing Tubbo to roll down onto his legs. "Come on, big man, get up!"

Tubbo does, laughing as Tommy stands and stretches like a cat, red wings fluttring. He grabs Tubbo's arm, and practically drags him downstairs into the kitchen. It's only about 8:30, and no one else is up yet.

"You know, we could just heat up yesterdays pancakes," Tubbo hums as Tommy digs through the fridge.

Tommy scoffs, pulling out an egg carton. "Pancakes are shit."

Tubbo rolls his eyes, but gets out a pan at Tommy's request.

Tommy tosses butter on the counter and sets the eggs down surprisingly gentle.

Tubbo cracks four eggs into a bowl while Tommy gets the pan ready. He puts some salt in the eggs, and nothing else because he's not a cook, and he doesn't know what would taste good.

Tommy pours the eggs into the heated pan, and they both just stare.

"You forgot the butter."

"Shit!" Tommy drags the spatula through the eggs, but can't get what's stuck to the bottom to come up. The stench of burning fills the air. Tommy turns to Tubbo, throwing out his arms as he starts to speak, he hits the handle of the pan.

Eggs go flying, some on the floor, some on the stove, catching on fire. Tubbo panics, reaching out to grab the pan and touching the hot metal. Tubbo yelps, jumping back as the pan clatters to the floor loudly.

Tommy yelps as well, eyes wide as the eggs light on fire and Tubbo cradles his hand to his chest.

There's commotion upstairs, and then Phil runs in, still in pajamas. "What- Boys!" He hurries in, turning off the stove. Tubbo shrinks back slighly, looking at the floor. Techno comes in a moment after, sighing heavily.

The eggs burn themselves out quick enough, and Phil sighs, turning to the two teens. "You.. are you both okay?"

"Tubbo burned his hand, I think," Tommy says quickly, and Tubbo ducks his head down further.

"C'mere Tubbo, let me see," Phil hums, and Tubbo hesitantly gives him his hand. Phil tuts softly, bringing him over to the sink. "Thankfully it's not too bad," He says as he turns on the water. "Tommy, could you clean up your mess?"

Tommy grumbles, but does as he's toldas Phil helps Tubbo run his hand under cool water.

Once he's done with that, he aplies some burn cream and lightly wraps the wound in gauze. "There you go, you should be all good to go, Tubbo," He turns to Tommy. "But you, you know you can't cook, why wod today be any different?"

"We were hungry," Tommy says defensively, but his stance shows he feels guilty about.

Phil sighs heavily. "Okay, alright, I'll make some food."

-

Tubbo, Schlatt

Schlatt: Where are you

Tubbo: At Tommy's?

Tubbo: I told you I was going yestrday

Schlatt: You didn't.

Tubbo: Did you forget? I talked to you about it

Schlatt: No you fucking didn't, Tubbo.

Tubbo: I'm sorry

Schlatt: I want you home

Tubbo: Now?

Schlatt: Obviously.

Tubbo: Okay

Chapter Text

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

twobo: today ranboo proposed to me with a ring pop

TOMMYINNIT: WHAT????

bicon: Ranboo?????

Wimblur: what did you say

twobo: i said yes

twobo: anyways

TOMMYINNIT: WHY?

Niki :] : @ranboo ?

Wimblur: will there be a wedding

twobo: uhhhh

twobo: @ranboo ????

ranboo: yes

twobo: yes

bicon: Ranboo you are still a child

twobo: you're all invited

twobo: also phil, wil tell him he's invited

TOMMYINNIT: what the fuck is happening

Wimblur: will do

Niki :] : ranboo, are you ignoring us?

bicon: Who's going to be walking up to the alter

twobo: uhhh

ranboo: me

twobo: wh

twobo: why you?????

ranboo: i want to

twobo: what if i also wanted to

ranboo: you're too late i said it first

twobo: i figured we'd, yk, talk about it first

Wimblur: their first fight

TOMMYINNIT: fight fight fight

ranboo: sucks for you

ranboo: niki will you walk me up

twobo: >:[

Niki :] : i mean,, of course i will, ranboo

bicon: D:

twobo: fine, tommy will you be my best man

TOMMYINNIT: huh

twobo: be my best man

ranboo: eret you can,, um,,,,

Wimblur: CAN I BE THE FLOWER GIRL?

TOMMYINNIT: oh, uh, sure i will

twobo: :]

twobo: sure wilbur

ranboo: UM

ranboo: r,,ring bearer?

bicon: Alright

-

twobo has added ranboo, TOMMYINNIT, and Niki :] to a chat

twobo has named the chat WEDDING?

twobo: so..

twobo has changed their name to groom

groom has changed ranboo's name to bride

bride: wh

bride has changed their name to groom 2

groom 2: better

groom: hmm

groom: anyways

TOMMYINNIT has changed their name to The best man

Niki :] has changed their name to The better sibling

groom 2: PFFT

The better sibling: where is this happening

groom: uhhhhhhhhh

groom 2: uhhhhhhhhhh

The best man: do either of you have anything planned out

groom: yes

groom 2: no

groom: ....no

The better sibling: okay well we should probably just do it in one of our houses

groom 2: tubbo?

groom: your house pls

groom 2: that alright niki?

The better sibling: yeah

The better sibling: we'll do it in the backyard

The better sibling: i'll make a cake

groom: FUCK YEA

The best man: CAKE

groom 2: niki you are officially my favorite sibling

Chapter Text

ranboo, TOMMYINNIT

ranboo: tommy

TOMMYINNIT: ranboob

ranboo: dont call me that

ranboo: did you notice anythimg weird abt tubbo today at school

TOMMYINNIT: other than the fact that he accepted your proposal?

ranboo: tommy

ranboo: im serious

TOMMYINNIT: i mean, yeah

TOMMYINNIT: he was all like, spacey n shit

ranboo: did you notice the flinching

TOMMYINNIT: 'course

TOMMYINNIT: but he wouldn't tell me shit about it

ranboo: hmm,,

TOMMYINNIT: hmmming is my thing, boob boy

ranboo: wh

ranboo: its not but alright

ranboo: so what do we do?

TOMMYINNIT: i,, im gonna be honest man, i dont know

TOMMYINNIT: theres not really a whole lot we can do unless he talks to us about it

ranboo: yeah that's,, true

ranboo: do you think it could possibly be problems at home?

TOMMYINNIT: i dont know

TOMMYINNIT: i guess its,, its possible but i dont want it to be

ranboo: yeah.. lets not jump to any conclusions yet, um, we dont know really anything

TOMMYINNIT: yeah

-

fearsome threesome

Pandas: dream i'll pay you 5 dollars if you ask fundy out on a date

Dweam: wh

Dweam: im not going to do that wtf??

Pandas: 10 dollars

Dweam: no

Gogy: 30

Dweam: we are not doing this right now

Gogy: then when?

Pandas: dude you've gotta make a move

Dweam: says fucking mr "OMG KARL QUACKITY LETS KISS BUT NO HOMO HAHA EXCEPT I REALLY LIKE YOU BOTH BUT IM TOO SCARED TO TELL YOU" shut up, man, just shut up

Gogy: Dream,

Gogy: come on man

Gogy: calm down a bit

Dweam: I'm calm

Gogy: you're not

Gogy: we all know that wasn't playful, that was aimed to hurt

Gogy: we're just trying to help you out, because we know you're not gonna make a move, and if you're really serious about not wanting us to push it then we'll stop

Gogy: we both know you like fundy a lot and don't want you to just sit back and be miserable

Dweam: i know, i know

Dweam: i'm sorry to you george, and especially you sap it wasn't okay for me to say that to you

Pandas: dw man, i get it, its kinda hypocritical of me to push you on that,

Dweam: a little, but i do the same to you, that's what were here for, yeah?

Pandas: hah, yeah, for sure

Pandas: ...so if george pays you

Dweam: SIGH

Dweam: fine, fine, i'll try, okay?

-

funds, God

God: Uh, hi, Fundy

funds: oh, hey dream, what's up?

God: I was wondering

God: ugh

God: I was wondering if you maybe wanted to um,, go out on a date?

God: With me?

funds: oh, wow

funds: yeah sure, of course

God: holy shit okay wow, um

God: i hadn't planned this far

God: was not expecting a yes, okay,, is there anything you wanna do?,

funds: hmm, well, i know it's kind of lame, but, maybe we could go see a movie?

God: Yeah no, that sounds nice

God: really nice, um, yeah, that's good

funds: are you free friday?

God: Yeah i am, do you wanna get tickets now or a kind of in the moment thing?

funds: god now, i am not gambling with the movie theater

God: Pfft yeah, fair point, fair point

God: Let's see what's on friday

-

fearsome threesome

Dweam: i'm shaking so bad holy shit fuck you guys

Dweam: but also thank you

Gogy: i take it that things went well?

Dweam: yeah, we're going out friday,

Dweam: or at least that's the plan

Pandas: FUCK YEAH DREAM LETS GOOOOOOO

Gogy: good for you

Dweam: that was terrifying holy shit holy shit

Gogy: but you did it

Dweam: yeah, yeah

Dweam: now it's sapnap's turn

Pandas: GOODBYE

Chapter Text

WEDDING?

groom 2: niki can we have a bee and flower themed cake

The better sibling: of course! your favorite flower, i presume?

groom: yes yes ily so much

The better sibling: <3

The best man: when is this even happening?

groom 2: uhhhhhh

groom 2: @groom ???

groom 2: tubbo?

The better sibling: he must be busy?

The best man: seems like it

groom 2: um, okay, i was thinking maybe a sunday? obviously we can't decide without Tubbo but,,,

The better sibling: yeah that would probably be best

-

Toms, Tubzo

Toms: tubbo

Toms: tubzo

Toms: tubs

Toms: tubbo

Toms: TUBBO

Toms: tubbo where tf are you

Toms: tubbo

Tubzo: huh

Tubzo: im here sorry

Toms: dont apologise

Toms: your dumb fiance needs you to pick a date

Tubzo: oh

Tubzo: uh i should deal with that

Toms: yeah, but are you okay

Tubzo: huh

Toms: are you okay

Tubzo: yeah?

Tubzo: why wouldnt i be?

Toms: you were kinda spacey today

Tubzo: im tired, sorry

Toms: stop apologizing for everything

Tubzo: um, okay,

-

WEDDING?

groom: uh, maybe next sunday? this week doesn't work for me

groom 2: that should be fine?

The better sibling: yeah sounds good

The best man: alright

The better sibling: we should probably get wil and eret in here to figure it out too, huh?

groom: oh, yeah, probably

groom has added Wimblur and Bicon to the chat

Wimblur: YOU GUYS HAD A CHAT FOR THIS AND DIDN'T ADD US UNTIL NOW?

bicon: i am so so hurt

groom 2: sorry eret

bicon: :(

Wimblur has changed their name to Flowers >:]

Flowers >:] : fuck you guys

bicon: yeah, that was very inconsiderate and hurtful

The best man: go cry about it

Flowers >:] : bet

bicon: i will

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

ranboo: i would like to clarify that tubbo and i's marriage is completely platonic

ranboo: we are simply getting married as friends

twobo: ^^^^

God: valid

HONK: WAIT TUBBO RANBOO CAN I HELP DECORATE??

twobo: YEAH!!

-

groom has added HONK to the chat

groom 2: welcome

HONK has chamged their name to PARTY PLANNER

PARTY PLANNER: :]

The better sibling: welcome!

PARTY PLANNER: thanks :D

groom 2: so far we're working with bees and um... um..

The better sibling: alliums

groom 2: yes thank you favorite sibling

bicon: WHAT

The better sibling: :)

groom 2: ERET OH GOD I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE

bicon: HOW I WAS ADDED LIKE 10 MINITES AGO

groom 2: I HAVE TERRIBLE MEMORY LOSS ERET

PARTY PLANNER: oh honk

The best man: just say fuck karl

bicon: my feelings are so so hurt im going to go cry

groom 2: D:

groom: drama in the wedding gc.. this is just terrable

The best man: agreed

Chapter Text

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

ranboo: TUBBO

twobo: RANBOO

ranboo: GUESS WHAT I FOUND TUBBO

twobo: WHAT DID YOU FIND RANBOO?

ranboo: A PIG

bicon: what

twobo: A PIG??

ranboo: A PIG, TUBB

twobo: WHERE? HOW?

ranboo: I WAS JUST TAKING A WALK AND HE WAS JUST THERE

bicon: Ranboo please don't tell me you're bringing a pig home

ranboo: IM BRINGING A PIG HOME

twobo: HE CAN BE OUR SON

bicon: oh god

ranboo: YES! WHAT SHOULD WE NAME HIM?

twobo: MICHAEL

ranboo: AH YES, MICHAEL!

bicon: oh god theyve named it

ranboo: ERET CAN WE KEEP HIM?

bicon: ranboo,,

ranboo: PLEASE?

bicon: ran,,

ranboo: it'll give you favorite sibling points and put you above niki

bicon: fine

twobo: FUCK YEAH

ranboo: YAYAYA THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU

bicon: i love you too

bicon: i guess im going to be researching pig care all day

ranboo: :>

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

ranboo: family.jpg

ranboo: tubbo and michael :>

Muffins: That's very cute!

HONK: im gonn steal that pig

ranboo: YOU WILL NOT

-

It's a picture of Tubbo, leaning against the wall, fast asleep, with a sleeping piglet in his lap.

Chapter Text

Tubbo wakes up slowly, at first, but shoots up upon realizing he doesn't know where he is, this isn't his room, the bed he's on isn't missing sheets, and there's no clock on the wall to watch seconds tick by on. His breath hitches. He doesn't know where he is.

"Hey," He jumps, turning to face the source of the voice, and it's- It's just Ranboo. He looks sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck. "Hi, hey, sorry, you fell asleep and Eret didn't want to wake you, but also wanted you to be comfortable, so.." He gestures lamely around. "Welcome to my room?"

A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips at Ranboo's familair, somehow comforting akwardness. "Thank you," He says genuinely. For a moment, Tubbo wants to let himself be content in Ranboo's presence, but one simple, horriying thought cuts through that desire. "What.. what time is it?"

Ranboo seems to startle at the question, and glances down at the watch Tubbo remembers being told Niki gave him. "It's just about eight thirty," He says after a moment.

"Shit," Tubbo hisses, jumping to his feet and pulling on shoes he hadn't even noticed he wasn't wearing, until his socked feet hit carpet. "I need to go, my dad is probably worried," worried is.. one way to put it. His back aches.

"Oh!" Ranboo jumps a bit as Tubbo checks his phone, dizzy with panic, and it's dead, of course. "Yeah, that.. makes sense," He says after a moment, running a hand through fluffy hair. "Yeah."

He leads Tubbo downstairs, where Eret is doing dishes and Niki is reading at the table.

Eret looks up, arms coated in suds and water. "Tubbo! Hi, sorry, it seemed like you needed the sleep.." They trail off, then smile a moment after. "I can heat up some of dinner for you, if you'd like."

Tubbo shakes his head quickly, playing with his hands and staring at the counter. "No I- That's okay, I need to be getting home, my dad is probably worried.."

"Ah, I can drive you home," Niki offers sweetly, marking her place and closing the book. She stands and brushes herself off.

"Um, no, that's- that's okay, b-but thank you, Niki," Tubbo waves his hands a little, trying to convince her that it really is okay, and he'll be just fine, but her eyes narrow and she presses her lips together.

"It's dark out, Tubbo, let me take you," She says, grabbing keys out of a seemingly handmade bowl on the counter, as Eret wipes their hands off. "You could get hurt on your own, come on."

Tubbo sighs, resigned. It doesn't seem like he'll be able to talk her out of it.

There's a gentle tap on his shoulder, and he turns, to be enveloped in a hug by Ranboo, even though he has to stand on the tips on his toes, and his head only reaches Ranboo's chest, he feels such a strong sense of safety that he thinks he may cry. He wishes he could stay here forever, wrapped up in his platonic fiances arms, he never wants to leave, he wants to feel this safe and warm forever.

But he pulls away, gers into Niki's car, and cries after he gets home, sporting new bruises and cuts.

-

Foxson, birdfather

Foxson: father

birdfather: son

Foxson: i got a date

Foxson: on monday

birdfather: FUCK YEAH

birdfather: i am just slightly hurt that it took ypu 2 dsys to tell me,

birdfather: BUT GOOD FOR YOU! WHO IS IT? WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?

Foxson: i was processing

Foxson: it's dream, we're gonna go see a movie on fridsy

birdfather: finally

birdfather: but good luck son, have a good time B-)

Foxson: that's an ugly face

Foxson: but thank you

birdfather: :-C

Chapter Text

Dream is shaking. He holds the steering wheel in a white knuckled grip, syching himself up to just get out lf the damn car and ring the doorbell. He really, really hopes Fundy hasn't noticed him just sitting outside.

Deciding that, of it hasn't already happened, he'd rather not suffer that particular embarressment, he gets out of the car.

Ringing the doorbell is another moment that takes a lot of syching up and eternal debate, but he does it! No backing down now, not that he really would have before, no way would he have left Fundy hanging.

The door swimgs open, and there the fox hybrid stands. He's dressed ever so slightly better than usual, his hair is combed instead of it's usual ratty mess, and Dream feels slightly self consious about his own hair, which he'd opted to simply tie back into a high ponytail instead of making it look nice.

"Hi, Dream," Fundy says warmly, flashing a bright smile. "How are you?"

"Um, good," Why is Dream a mess? He's had many other conversations with Fundy before, this shouldn't be that hard. "You look nice- Are you ready to go?"

Fundy smiles again, stepping out the door and shutting it behind him. "Ready if you are."

-

"You want any candy or popcorn?" Fundy asks after they get their tickets, both paid for by Dream despite the fox hybrids earlier protest.

Dream hums softly in thought. He's relaxed marginally during the car ride. "Probably, I might buy myself some of both."

"What kind of candy?"

"Cookie dough bites,"

Fundy smiles a little at that and nods, skipping up to the cashier and ordering a large popcorn, sweet tart chewys, cookie dough bites, and two slushies, both blue.

"Hey, hey hey," Dream says, sliding into line with him. "I didn't agree to this, you don't have to-"

Fundy shoots him a vaguely unimpressed look, and Dream shuts his mouth with an audible click. "You paid for the tickets, so I pay for the snacks, that way it's fair, no big deal."

-

Fundy snickers, reaching into their shared popcorn bowl to grab a handul. Dream very pointedly keeps an eye on when Fundy gets popcorn, because there's no way in hell he's going to have on of those cheesey, cliche 'acidentally touch which reaching for popcorn' moments. Nope, no thanks.

But anyways, they're watching a shitty horror movie that makes them laugh more than it scares them, filled with shitty jumpscares, abhorent cgi, and a plot that's overused and preditable, yet somehow worse than those that came before it, littered with plot holes that make Dream's head spin trying to make sense of.

But it's kind of nice that it's bad, because Dream and Fundy lean in and whisper about how awful it is. They laugh together when they shouldn't, and have fun at the movies expanse. He's glad the theater is mostly empty so they don't piss anyone off.

But Dream's having fun, and he can't stop smiling long after the movies done and he's driving Fundy back home, laughing and bringing up what they thought was funniest.

And when he says goodbye to Fundy, standing at the door, Fundy kisses him on the cheek and disappears inside, Dream feels like he could burst with joy.

-

fearsome threesome

Dweam: got kissed today

Pandas: KISSED?

Dweam: on the cheek

Gogy: damnnn dream, get it

Dweam: you still owe me money, george

Gogy: shit

Chapter Text

A week later, Tubbo stands in Eret, Niki, and Ranboo's backyard, stiff in his fathers suit with rolled up sleeves.

The backyard is decorated with bee's and alliums, as planned, and there's even a balloon arch. Karl really went all out. Currently, Karl's zipping about, making sure everything looks good.

Tubbo's been banned from going inside, lest he catches sight of Ranboo before he's supposed to.

Tommy jabs him in the ribs with his elbow, which, ow, he's sore, but he smiles and elbows him right back.

"I can't believe you're getting married without my permission," Tommy gurmbles good naturedly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he let's out a dramatic huff.

"Well," Tubbo hums, rocking back on his heels. "Can I have your permission?"

Tommy blinks, seeming slightly off guard, and then it seems, for a moment, that he's going to make some sarcastic comment, but he presses his lips together, glancing away. "Does.. does he make you happy?" His voice is surprisingly soft.

Now Tubbo's caught off guard, but his mind immediately snaps to last week, wrapped in Ranboo's arms before he had to go home, the strong feelings of warmth and safety that he hadn't wanted to leave. "Yeah," He whispers. "I think so."

Tommy nods, sharp and jerky, and says, "Okay, then you have my permission," He finishes his sentence with another elbow in Tubbo's ribs, and the older boy suspects it's to cover up the fact that he actually cares, and Tubbo let's it slide, returning the favor with a playful shove.

Playful shove quickly turns into actual shoving, almost to the point of wrestling, but they don't quite reach that point before Wilbur comes out and breaks them up.

"Gremlins, don't get yourselves dirty," He says, brushing Tubbo's oversized suit off as Tommy grumbles. "'Specially you, Toms, you're wearing a white shirt."

And he is, Tommy's simply wearing dress pants with a white dress shirt tucked in. Tubbo doesn't think grass stains are a good look for a wedding.

Wilbur begins to brush Tommy's clothes off, and the blond is quick to jump away from him, scowling. "I'm not a child, I can do it myself, Wilby."

A smile tugs at Wilbur's lips, such a strong look of fondness that hurts Tubbo to look at fills his eyes as they soften, and his eyebrow raises. It's clear to them both that Tommy doesn't realized he slipped, as he aggressively brushes himself off.

But Wilbur still smiles, a smile that speaks measures, a smile that says that one word meant so, so much, too much to put into words, and ruffles Tommy's hair, and Tommy squirms away, and shouts, but Tubbo can't hear it.

Tubbo aches, he craves for such fondness, to be on the end of Wilbur's overwhelmingly love filled look, to be the cause of it. He wants it so bad he thinks he may start crying.

But instead he watches Wilbur disappear back inside.

-

Eret and Wilbur walk down the aisle first, Eret in a dazzling lavender dress and Wilbur in his yellow tuxedo. Wilbur scatters bits of alliums as he walks behind Eret, who holds a pillow with two rings on it.

The toe of Tommy's sneaker nudges against his heel as they take their place, and Niki and Ranboo walk down.

Ranboo is wearing a lavender tuxedo, with frills for sleeve cuffs. Niki is wearing a yellow dress with black poka dots.

Tubbo sucks in a sharp breath, Tommy's foot nudges his again.

Ranboo smiles as he and Niki separate and he steps up onto the makeshift alter. Tubbo smiles back, instinctively reaching out to carefully take Ranboo's hands.

-

"C'mere," Ranboo hums, pulling Tubbo close as soft music fills the air. His hands easily slides into Ranboo's as they sway casually to the music. Tubbo leans his head on Ranboo's chest, and he feels safe.

"This is nice," He mumbles, eyes slipping closed, listening to the steady thrum of Ranboo's heartbeat.

"Yeah," Ranboo agrees softly, letting go of Tubbo's hands to wrap his arms around him instead, pulling him close and setting his head carefully atop the ram hybrids, continuing to sway as Tubbo wraps his arms around him as well.

Yeah, Tubbo thinks, this is really nice.

-

Tommy drags Tubbo back on the dance floor once he's done with Ranboo.

He thinks he hears Niki and Eret mostly playfully arguing about who's going to dance with Ranboo first, but Tubbo doesn't pay attention to that, he's focused on Tommy as they slip into the semi-familiar dance.

There's multiple times where they knock into each other, or step on the others foot, neither of them are good at dancing, and what little they know they learned the day before, from a crash course from Phil.

But Tommy is smiling, and Tubbo is smiling, and they're laughing, and Tubbo feels so, so warm.

Tommy gently knocks his head against Tubbo's, something the boy would do instinctively becsuse of his ram tendencies, and Tommy had picked up on it. Tubbo smiles, and headbutts him, lightly, right back.

Yeah. Warm.

-

"C'mere, Tubbster." Wilbur opens his arms, and Tubbo is quick to scamper forward as the next song starts, and they find themselves in a similar dance as he was already in with Tommy.

And as they dance Wilbur's eyes fill with that soft, warm fondness he'd looked at Tommy with earlier, and, again, Tubbo thinks he may cry. He inches closer to the man he see's as a brother.

He feels warm, and safe, and would love to stay dancing with Wilbur forever.

-

There's a gentle touch to his shoulder, and he jumps, turning to face Phil.

"Hey, mate," He says softly, holding out a gentle, calloused hand. "Would you like to dance with me?"

Tubbo hesitates a moment, but ultimately takes the mans hand.

Tubbo's filled with such a strong sense of fatherly love from the man as they dance, as dark wings curl around him and he's held close. He feels loved, well and truly loved, and he'd like to live in this moment forever, to repeat this day endlessly, even if he gets bored, he'd rather feel this.

And Tubbo breaks.

He tucks his face close to Phil's chest as he begins to cry, overwhelmed by the amount of care and love he's being given, with no strings attached and no expectance of anything else from him. He's so warm, and sage, and loved, and Tubbo can hardly handle it.

It's so unconditional.

Phil's hands move to his back to pull him closer, more into a hug. "What's wrong?" He asks, his voice is so soft, concerned, and his wings his wings curl tighter around them.

Tubbo shakes, wrapping his arms around Phil tightly. "I'm sorry," He breathes, becasue really, he is, he shouldn't be crying over something so simple. "I'm just- I'm just really happy,"

Phil smoothes a hand over the ram hybrids back, and sets his chin on the boys head, mindful of ramrod horns. "That's okay,"

That's okay.

Tubbo let's out a soft, yet noisy sob. That's okay.

His father hated it when he cried, but here was Phil, telling him it was okay to cry, for, if he's being honest, no real reason.

Next thing he knows, he's in a pile on the floor with everyone else, a slice of cake in his hands. Cake that Niki make, and put oh so much effort into for him. A fresh wave of tears rolls down his face as Ranboo gently tucks him into the ender hybrids side. Tommy's at his other side, prattling on about something Tubbo isn't paying attention to whilst shoving his face full of cake.

And Tubbo clings.

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

grim reaper: marriage.jpg

-

It's a picture of Ranboo and Tubbo, arms wrapped tightly around each other, Tubbo's feet dangling off the floor.

Chapter Text

Tubbo remembers, when he was a bout 6 or so, his dad loved him. He remembers the beach, and the gentle way his hand felt as they went to get ice cream, he remembers movie nights and sleeping in his fathers bed after a nightmare. He remembers when it stopped, when all the money started getting spent on booze and drugs, no longer on food, when nightmares started being something he had to deal with alone.

Tubbo remembers, but he really wishes he didn't. He wishes he didn't, so he could just hate the man without the guilt that it brings. He wishes he was always bad, so Tubbo wouldn't miss the good so strongly.

But Tubbo hardly gets what he wants.

So, he packs a bag of necessities after he gets home Sunday night, with Schlatt, surprisingly enough, in bed. He packs despite the tremors in his hands and the way he feels nauseous.

And yet, he hesitates. And yet, he finds himself creaking the door of his fathers room open.

And he climbs into the bed, settling under the covers. And his father grabs him in his sleep, pulling the small boy close to his chest. And Tubbo shakes. The man still smells oh so strongly of alcohol, but the embrace holds whispers of the past, echoes of love so dearly missed, and so Tubbo falls asleep.

-

Tubbo wakes before his father, unsurprisingly, and leaves.

-

Toms, Tubzo

Toms: why arent you at school

Tubzo: sick, big man

Toms: fr?

Tubzo: yea

Toms: damn

Toms: ranboo wont stop whining

Tubzo: blow him a kiss for me

Toms: ew

-

Tubbo is gone for half a week before he gives in, he's tired and cold, starving, his body aches from laying on pavement. Tubbo gives in, and goes home. Later, he wishes he hadn't.

-

Tubbo thinks he's dying, lying at the bottom of the porch steps in a pool of his own fucking blood. His entire body aches, he's fairly certain he's broken at least one bone, there's shards of glass stuck in his sides from falling on them multiple times. His head spins, he let's out a weak cough, and his body convulses in pain as a result. He thinks he's dying.

He thinks he's dying, and he'll never get to see Tommy or Ranboo again, he'll never get to play Just Dance with Wilbur again, he'll never get to study with Techno, he'll never gett to hug Phil, or eat Niki's baking, or have soft conversations with Eret.

Tubbo is fucking dying. He's finally fucking dying, and now that it's happening, now that his vision is going spotty and his head is spinning, he realizes he doesn't want to die anymore. But he's going to die anyways, alone, in the cold, not even in his own fucking house, because his own father had beat him and then thrown him outside. 

He can't- He can't breath.

He's really going to die, isn't he? He can't escape it, his blood is soaking the pavement, he can hardly move. He coughs again, his body screams in protest. One of his horns is broken. 

He can't die here, he doesn't want to, this isn't fucking fair! It's not fair, it's not, it's not, it's not.

He takes a sharp, shallow, raspy breath, reaching for his phone despite the agony moving brings. It's on the ground in front of him, spattered with blood and cracked, but he turns it on. His vision blurs as it asks for his password. What's his fucking password? His head screams, his wrist burns, he feels like throwing up. His cheek is pressed against the ground.

Emergency call. Right. That was a thing, wasn't it? His hand shakes, his vision goes dark. The phone slips from his hand.

-

Tommy is laying upside down on the couch, legs thrown over the back as Wilbur strums on his red guitar next to him, and Phil quietly reads in his armchair, Techno sitting on the floor, leaning against his legs and reading a book of his own, when his phone rings. Tommy perks up when Tubbo's name flashes across his screen. Since his best friend got sick they've barely talked, and Tommy would be dead before he admitted it, but he misses his friend like crazy.

His quick to attempt to right himself, only succeeding in falling off, to which everyone else laughs at, but he picks up the phone at what was most likely the last ring. "Hello?"

"Hi there," Says a voice that's sweet, and feminine, and distinctly not Tubbo's.

"What the fuck?"

Chapter Text

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

God: what the fuck

God: have you guys seen the news??

God: shit, what the fuck

funds: WHAT THE FUCK?

quack man: nonono this has to be fake WHAT THE FUCK

grim reaper: shit . shit

Niki :] : oh my god

ranboo: nonononono

ranboo: @twobo tubbo???

Swipnip: holy shit

ranboo: @twobo

ranboo: @twobo

ranboo: @twobo

ranboo: tubbo please

grim reaper: @TOMMYINNIT tommy? do you know what's happening?

bicon: fuck

-

Tommy is shaking. Tommy is shaking because Tubbo is hurt, because Tubbo is in the hospital, Tubbo was found fucking dying at his own doorstep. Tubbo could have died, Tommy could have lost his Tubbo.

He's pacing the small hospital room, waiting, waiting, trying to ignore all the wires and the breathing masks and the bruises and- and he's pacing. It's only him and Phil with Tubbo, because they didn't want to many people around him, and they were only allowed because they Tommy was Tubbo's emergency contact, and they couldn't get ahold of Tubbo's biological family. -Tubbo's bio family beat him near death and left him outside to die and haven't been found yet and- and of course, that's only his assumption-

He wants to rage, and blame someone, and he wants Tubbo to fucking wake up! He wants to hold his best friend and never let him go ever, ever again.

But he deflates, and gently takes Tubbo's hand. The other hand is splinted, a broken wrist and elbow that's to be put in a cast once the ram hybrid wakes. Tommy's scared, and he presses the back of Tubbo's hand to his forehead. He's so fucking scared, he doesn't know what's going happen once Tubbo wakes up, he doesn't know if they're going to try and take the ram away from him, but there's no way in hell he's gonna let that happen. No fucking way.

Tommy's never going to let go of Tubbo again.

-

It's a couple hours later when he realizes his phone is ringing. He'd put it on silent when they got to the hospital, and now see's the.. many, many missed calls and texts. 

..oops.

"Um," He stands, holding up his phone, making a vague gesture at the door. "I'm gonna.." He trails off, but Phil understands, and nods, taking Tommy's place and running his hand gently through Tubbo's hair.

He stands in the hallway, wincing at Ranboo's name on the screen, and picks up the call. "Ran-" 

"Tommy," He's cut off. Ranboo sounds like he's been on the verge of crying and panicking for.. hours, maybe. "Tommy, what's- what's happening? I- I- I- there's so much all over the news, Tommy- Is- Is Tubbo okay?"

Oh.

"Um, well," He shifts his weight, picking at the end of his shirt. "He's.. in the hospital, right now,"

For a few moments that feel like forever, there's silence, and then Ranboo asks, tired and croaky, "What happened?"

Tommy sighs. "We don't.. know for sure yet, but um," He runs a hand through wild blond hair. "I think- I- I think it has something to do with his dad," Voicing his thoughts aloud feels almost wrong, like he's cementing them. 

There's a soft, almost pained sound on Ranboo's end. "Is he.. Is he going to be okay?"

"I- I don't know," Tommy breaths. His fucking hands are shaking. "He- He was almost dead, Ranboo, if someone didn't find him when they did he'd have- we'd have lost him, Ranboo, Tubbo would have fucking died," He sucks in a sharp breath, doing his best to keep tears that threaten to fall at bay. "He almost died."

Ranboo makes a sound similar to a wounded animal, and inhales shakily. "Can- can I see him?"

"They're only letting me an' Phil in right now," Tommy says after a moment. He leans against the wall, tapping to toe of his shoe against the floor. "I.. I wouldn't come, it's- it's pointless, right now at least. It's not.. particularly pleasant here, either," He fucking hates hospitals.

"Okay," Ranboo whispers. He sounds to utterly and truly upset, and Tommy feels terrible.

"I'll let you know when you can come see him, okay? Promise, you'll be the first to know," And for his part, he really is being  genuine. He knows how much Ranboo and Tubbo mean to each other, even if he does get a little.. jealous of it, sometimes.

"Okay," Ranboo says again.

-

Tommy isn't sure how long it take for Tubbo to wake up, but he peels open sticky eyes and looks around blearily as Phil calls for a nurse.

"Hey, big man," Tommy whispers, giving the smaller boys hand a light squeeze. "Hey, how're you feeling?"

Tubbo squeezes his eyes shut, groaning softly in response.

Tommy's just glad that he's awake.

-

Tommy grips the handles of the wheelchair Tubbo's sitting in, since his ankle is broken and he can't hold crutches. He's going to be staying with them for the time being, while the police try to contact his father or any other family member, really. So far, it isn't going great. But Tommy doesn't think he minds right now, because he has Tubbo with him, and that's all that currently matters. 

Tubbo's been quiet, he's barely said anything, and the things he have had been so quiet it was nearly impossible to hear. But Tommy gets it, so he doesn't mention it.

He scoops Tubbo into his arms once they get to the car, despite how the boy squeaks in protest, and carefully steps into the car, setting Tubbo down as he sits in the middle seat. Wilbur slides into the car next to him as Phil and Techno get into the front seats.

Tubbo had been tense the entire time they were in the hospital, but he relaxes now, and drops his head onto Tommy's shoulder. Tommy lays his head stop his best friend's as Tubbo begins to cry softly.

He doesn't say anything, just sits with him.

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

TOMMYINNIT: tubbo's okay

TOMMYINNIT: he's staying at my house for right now

quack man: what the fuck happened

TOMMYINNIT: we're not sure yet

HONK: what do you mean

TOMMYINNIT: i mean he was found almost dead outside his door and we dont know why because his dad is fuck knows where and he won't say shit rn

TOMMYINNIT: the police are gonna talk to him soon but right now he hasn't said anything about what happened

TOMMYINNIT: and we're not pushing him on it because he just almost died

TOMMYINNIT: we're trying to give him some space

funds: okay, okay, tell him we're glad he's okay?

TOMMYINNIT: yeah

Chapter Text

Tubbo doesn't really know what to do.

He's in an awkward spot, where he's shut down, not really responding to anything, yet stuck in flight or fight, constantly on edge, constantly afraid. He knows he shouldn't be, because he's with Tommy and his family, people who have never intentionally hurt him in all the time that he's known them, but his body still aches and he doesn't really realize what's going on.

Currently, he's sitting on the couch, tucked into Tommy's side, everyone else sits a fair distance away from them, as it became clear Tubbo currently couldn't handle anyone, aside from Tommy, too close to him. He's glad they're respecting that, even though Wilbur keeps glancing at him. 

They're watching Megamind. There had been a small Wilbur Tommy argument about what to watch, Shrek 2 or Megamind, and when asked Tubbo simply ducked his head and said he didn't care. He was stuck in flight instincts, doing his best to not give anyone a reason to get mad at him.

"Hey," Tommy mumbles, voice uncharacteristically soft. "Would you be okay with seeing Ranboo?"

Tubbo swallows around the lump in his throat, tucks his hands inside the sleeves on Tommy's jacket he's being lent. "I.. tomorrow," He doesn't want to just say no, because that's- that's rude, but he isn't ready yet.

"Okay," Tommy hums, with no judgement or scorn, and Tubbo relaxes into his side, eyes flickering up to the screen as Minion leaves.

-

Tubbo can't fucking sleep.

Tommy's fast asleep beside him, but his arm cast in uncomfortable, his stupid fucking walking boot is also uncomfortable. He can't sleep.

But he squeezes his eyes shut anyways.

_

Tubbo wakes, and he's in his room, with that stupid fucking clock on the wall, tic, tic, ticking, and he kind of wants to cry, because this isn't fair, he was supposed to be with Tommy, he was supposed to be safe. Was it only a dream? A horrific, and yet, towards the very end, pleasant dream. Oh god. Fuck. Tubbo is back in this fucking house.

He pushes himself up and off the bed. His body still aches, his head spins. He doesn't want to be here. He can't be here anymore. A tears slips down his cheek, and he's quick to wipe it away, stumbling out of his room on weak legs. There's alcohol bottles everywhere, but, thankfully, his father is no where in sight, so he slips further into the house.

And bumps into the table.

A glass bottle goes crashing to the floor, shattering on impact, and Tubbo panics, heart leaping into his chest, he whirls around to face his fathers door, stepping back, right into the glass shards. He hisses as shards sink into his feet. Fuck.

He's really starting to freak out, shit. He doesn't want to be here, he doesn't know what do. Fuck. He wants to cry, and scream, and disappear so no one can hurt him again. His breaths comes out weak and raspy. 

He stumbles away from the glass, his vision blurs. He wants out, he needs to get out. Now.

He makes his way to the front door, ignoring the pain shooting throughout his body and the glass shards being pushed further into his foot. His mouth is dry, his eyelids are sticky. He needs to leave.

He bumps into the door at first, and winces, blaming what may be head injuries for his apparent lack of depth perception, and reaches for the handle. 

The door slides open, and Tubbo's feet hit pavement. He doesn't know where he's going, not really, but he can't stay here anymore. He left once, but this time he isn't coming back. Ever.

He tastes bile in his throat as he drags himself forward, sluggish and tired. His steps are wonky and uncertain.

And as he takes his next step, his foot is met with air.

And Tubbo is plunged into water.

Chapter Text

Phil wakes to the sound of something breaking. 

It's muffled, and really, anyone else wouldn't wake from it, but Phil is a lighter sleeper, has been since Wilbur..- Since Wilbur.

And at first, he doesn't think a whole lot of it, he's got an insomniac kid who's dropped glasses late at night more times then he can count. So he doesn't think anything of it, or tries not to, at least.

When the backyard lights turn on, that's when he gets up. His kids don't go out at night, and if they do it's usually Wilbur, and that thought alone is enough to make him get up. He takes the steps four at a time, using his wings to make sure he doesn't end up falling.

There's a broken vase on the floor, and blood. Shit. He should have got up earlier.

He steps over the glass carefully, making a mental note to clean it up later, to make sure no one else hurts themselves on it, and hurries outside.

There's no one outside. Until he looks in the pool. Tubbo is at the bottom of the pool.P

He doesn't think, just pulls his wings close to his body and dives in, still clad in his pajamas. The water is cold and biting, but Phil swims to the bottom and gathers the boy he thinks of like a sun into his arms. His lungs ache, and he uses his wings to help propel himself to the surface faster, gasping once he hits the air.

He holds Tubbo close with one arm and swims to the end of the pool, hoisting the young ram hybrid up onto the concrete, climbing out quickly after. He shakes himself off, water sliding off his dark wings with ease. He leans over the boy, setting his fingers on the boys neck, letting out a soft noise of relief when he feels it flutter.

Okay, okay- He sets his hands on the boys chest, and pushes down rhythmically, hard, but not too hard, as Tubbo's suffering from broken and bruised ribs. 

Water slides down his face and drips from his hair. He's scared, and upset, Tubbo's only been in his house for a day, and yet- God, Phil doesn't want think about implications of this, why it happened. He doesn't want to, so he doesn't. Not yet, at least.

Tubbo sputters, and Phil maneuvers the boy to lie on his side just before he starts to vomit up the water he'd inhaled.

Another sigh of relief as he gently pats Tubbo's back. Phil would really like these kids to stop giving him heart attacks, but he pulls the lamb into his arms as the boy stops spewing up water.

And Tubbo clings. He's shaking like a leaf, and his eyes are wide and hazy, distance, like he doesn't know what's going on, but he clings.

He drapes his wings over the boy, holding him close, uttering soft, soothing words, until Tubbo's eyes flash with recognition. 

"Phil?" He croaks, and, if anything, his grip on Phil's clothes tightens. "I- Phil-" His voice breaks and warbles, and his large eyes quickly fill with tears.

"You're okay," He says gently, pressing his forehead against the young hybrids. "I've got you, it's okay, I've got you."

Tubbo sobs, harshly, practically deflating in Phil's arms. "I- I don't know- I don't know what happened," Tubbo practically wails. "I just- I thought- I thought i was back in the f-f-fucking house, I thought I was trapped again, Phil I-"

That sets his stomach churning. He knows things weren't right for Tubbo, even if his father wasn't to blame for Tubbo's almost death, the alcohol bottles scattering the home, distinct lack of most food, missing bed sheets, and a multitude of other things told enough, and Phil had been informed that, no matter what, Jay Schlatt was not fit to continue to care for his child.

But the way Tubbo's speaking about it now alludes to more that what they have proof of.

"You're okay," He repeats. "You're in my house, with me, Toms, Techno and Wilbur, you're safe here, Tubbo, I promise, I'm not letting you back there."

Tubbo presses his face into Phil's chest, and says nothing more, so the man lifts the child in his arms and carries him inside, because it's a cold night and they're both soaking wet.

He sets Tubbo on the couch, and with a promise to be back, he hurries off to the bathroom. He drapes a towel over his shoulders and grabs another for Tubbo, hurrying back to the living room.

He helps the ram hybrid wrap it around himself, and then drapes a blanket over him too. He knows he probably needs to take Tubbo to the hospital, because his cast is soaked through, and that could be majorly harmful, but it's late, and he doesn't think Tubbo is in the right state of mind for that, so he makes a mental note to take him in the morning.

He's making tea for the two of them when Techno comes downstairs.

He just seems to kind of.. appear in the kitchen, almost making Phil drop empty cups. "Jesus Christ!- Techno!" He whisper shouts, mindful of Tubbo. "Jesus, scared the shit out of me,"

Techno doesn't quip back like he normally does, he just makes a vague gesture to the living room. "What happened?"

Phil bites his lip, a soft sigh leaving him. "I'm not.. entirely sure, but I know Tubbo was freaking out and that somehow ended with him in the pool,"

Techno grunts softly in acknowledgment, turning to leave. "I'll be right back."

"Do you want tea?"

"No thanks."

With that, Techno whisks his way out of the kitchen, and Phil is left in silence to finish the tea. He doesn't give himself much time to think, instead cleaning dishes that didn't get done earlier. Once it's done, he carries the cups into the living room as Techno comes downstairs.

The piglin hybrid has a book in his hands, and he settles down on the end of the couch, Tubbo's tired gaze slowly raising to him as Phil places the hot cup in his cold hands.

"Figured you'd be bored," Techno says, in his typical monotone, Techno fashion. "Would.. Would ya like me to read to ya?"

Tubbo hesitates, briefly glancing at Phil, who's settled down beside him, and nods his head shyly, and Techno launches into some fantasy story Phil isn't really paying attention to.

Eventually, Tubbo falls asleep against Phil's side, and Phil vows to protect his kid.

Chapter Text

sex

SAPNAP!!!: KISSES U

KARL???: KISSES YOU BACK PASSIONATELY

SHUT THE FUCK UP: are we making out with sapnap again

KARL???: yes

SAPNAP!!!: y,,yes?,

SHUT THE FUCK UP: cool

KARL???: do you guys actually wanna hang out

KARL???: like rn

SHUT THE FUCK UP: right now right now

KARL???: mhm

SAPNAP!!!: omw to ur house karl

KARL???: :)

KARL???: quack?

SHUT THE FUCK UP: yea yea lemme get ready

KARL???: okay :)

-

what the fuck is this shit (god's abandoned us) (im right here) (DEEAM SHUT UP)

arms sketti: what color should i paint sapnap's nails

where am i: die

knees weak: IS THIS A HATE CRIME?

knees weak: GEORGE NOT FOUND HOME OF PHOBIC REAL?

arms sketti: OMG

arms sketti: I'LL CRY I'LL CRY

knees weak: LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE GEORGE

where am i: haha

arms sketti: WHAT THE HONK WHAT THE HONK

arms sketti: DREAM WHAT COLOR SHOULD I PAINT SANAP'S NAILS

SHUT THE FUCK UP DREAM: WHO THE FUCK IS SANAP

FUCK OFF SAPNAP IM GOD: idk what do you want from me

knees weak: IM GOING TO FIST FIGHT GEORGE NOT FOUND

where am i: DO IT QUACKITY I DARE YOU

knees weak: leaving karl's house rn, omw to beat up george not found

arms sketti: all i asked was for a color and you guys cant even give me that

arms sketti: im going to ask niki and eret

SHUT THE FUCK UP DREAM: WHY IS QUACKITY ACTUALLY LEAVING?????????????

-

what the fuck is this shit (god's abandoned us) (im right here) (DEEAM SHUT UP)

where am i: GUYS

where am i: GUYS PLWAS

where am i: QUACKIT IS TRYIN TO BREAK THE FUCKIN WINDOW

where am i: PLEASE

arms sketti: thats what you get george home of phobic

arms sketti: also niki and eret said orange

arms sketti: painting q's yellow once he gets back

arms sketti: n mine will be purple!

FUCK OFF SAPNAP IM GOD: sounds fun

FUCK OFF SAPNAP IM GOD: i talked to funds and he said he wanted to paint my nails

arms sketti: cuteee

arms sketti: are you guys actually together yet

FUCK OFF SAPNAP IM GOD: ummm we haven't decided

FUCK OFF SAPNAP IM GOD: i mean we both really like each other we just havent labled it i guess.

FUCK OFF SAPNAP IM GOD: but we're going out again tomorrow for dinner

arms sketti: nice!!!

arms sketti: happy for you two

FUCK OFF SAPNAP IM GOD: thanks karl :)

where am i: GUYS?!??!?!!!??!??!?

where am i: SHIT FJNW HES IN HJSIEMFE

Chapter Text

bee, boo

boo: michael.jpg

boo: he misses you

boo: i miss you

boo: please get back to me when you can, okay?

boo: eret and niki miss you a lot too, eret will just walk around the house and whine about how much they miss you, which they've been doing since you came over to meet michael, but even more so now

boo: niki wants to bake you cookies but she doesn't know what your favorite kind is, she keeps asking me but i dont know either

boo: what is your favorite kind of cookie? do you have a favorite? or do you npt even like cookies?

boo: do you have a favprite kind of um... baked good, i think it's called? niki will make you them until you never want to see rhem again

boo: niki said when you're up to it you can come over and we can bake whatever you want

boo: and we could play mario kart, and spend time with michael and maybe the cats

boo: i think that'd be nice

boo: tommy said your phones been dead since the hospital so just,, get back to me when you see this, okay?

boo: or whenever you're ready

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

TOMMYINNIT: WHATARETHEYDOING.mp4

-

It's a video, a shaky one, aimed at the table, where Wilbur's sitting, getting whipped cream piled on his face by Tubbo, who's sitting on Techno's shoulders, Phil laughing somewhere off camera.

Tubbo seems to be debating something as he pulls the whipped cream away, then turns to the camera, a wide smile on his bruised face and a devilish glint in his eyes, and turns the can to begin to pile it right on top of Techno's head.

Tubbo squeals and drops the can as Techno jerks and cries out in surprise, clinging to the pig hybrid with his unijured arm as he almost falls.

The video ends aruptly, as if someone panicked and stopped it.

-

god: is that safe

grim reaper: i dont think so

blade: well no one died

blade: but now theirs whipped cream everywhere

funds: how,, how did you get it everywhere

Wimblur: fuckthesekids.mp4

-

The video is obviously taken from Phil's pov, as Tommy and Tubbo punt Techno with whipped cream.

Tubbo's already covered in it, and Tommy seems to be surpisingly clean.

Until Wilbur sneaks behind them both with handfuls of it and rubs it in their hair.

The video ends when a glob of cream comes flying at the camera.

-

Wimblur: dear philza minecraft is so very upset

TOMMYINNIT: he's making us clean the kitchen

grim reaper: as he should

TOMMYINNIT: fuck off sam

-

bee, boo

bee: i think id like that

Chapter Text

Tubbo arrives with Ranboo sitting outside, leg bouncing as he sits on the porch steps, eyes lighting up as Techno's car rolls into view.

And Technoblade, big, strong Technoblade, who on one particularily memorable occasion beat up Ranboo's bullies, hovers over Tubbo like a worried mother as the ram hybrid gets out of the car.

Ranboo is quick to stand, a smile tugging at his lips as Tubbo semi awkwardly hobbles up.

"Okay," Techno says lowly at the get to the door, which Ranboo is quick to open. "I'll pick ya up aroun' eight, if ya wanna leave before then jus' text me, or Tommy or Phil, or even Wilbur, jus' let one of us know, 'kay?"

Tubbo nods, looking mildly exasperated. "Yes, yes, I know, I will, everyone else told me this already, Tommy multiple times,"

Techno nods, once, and after a moment of hesitation, he leaves.

Ranboo ushers Tubbo inside and steps in after him, quietly shutting the door behind him. "Hey," He breathes, and, almost on instinct, goes to hug his best friend. But Tubbo flinches, and Ranboo recoils so fast he's surprised he didn't hurt himself.

God, he really should have thought this through. Of course Tubbo would be weird about touch righ now, after everything, even if they may not know the whole story, there's enough put the edge pieces in place. He opens his mouth, fully prepared to spout apologies, but shuts it with an audiable click as Tubbo starts talking.

"I'm sorry," The ram hybrid's voice shakes, and he's naturally small, but he somehow makes himself look even more so. "I'm sorry- I- I am, I'm in a weird- weird state, I'm sorry Ranboo I-" He cuts himself off, his voice is wet. "Ranboo, if you don't hug me right now I think I'll cry,"

And Ranboo, with slight hesitation hugs him.

Tubbo practically melts into his arms, one hand gripping the back of his jacket. 

"Sorry," Tubbo warbles, face pressed against Ranboo's chest. "'m sorry, thank you,"

"You don't have to be sorry for anything," Ranboo mumbles, easily sliding his hand down Tubbo's back in what he hopes is a comforting manor.

Tubbo hums softly in acknowledgment, them sighs, pulling away. "Thank you," He says wetly. "We should.. probably actually get inside.."

"Oh, yeah, Niki and Eret are probably waiting," He steps back a little, planning on giving Tubbo space, he isn't sure how much Tubbo will want to be touched, but a small hand slipping into his own puts a stop to that.

A small smile tugs at his lips, and he squeezes Tubbo's hand, and leads the boy into the kitchen, where Niki's setting up a ridiculous ammount of baking supplies.

"Oh! Tubbo, hi," Niki greets warmly as she sets out some bowls. Tubbo had been positively grilled on the favroite cookies of the Minecraft-Soot-Blade-Innit house, and she was determined that they were going to make batches of five different cookies.

Ranboo almost wants to cry thinking about it, not that he doesn't think it'll be fun, because it definitely will be, but well.. it was probably going to take a while, especially with Eret helping.

Eret's a terror in the kitchen.

Speaking of.. "Tubbo!" Eret's voice is bright, and their hand lightly touches the ram's shoulder before Ranboo can stop him, and get's small flinch in return. Eret pulls back their hand casually, not mentioning it, and istead flashing Tubbo a smile. "You ready to make some cookies?"

-

Ranboo pulls out his phone as Eret claps their hands together, timer going off, signifyng that the cookies were done.

Niki was making a phone call in the other room, which could mean things will end surpringly well or.. terribly, so Ranboo pressses record from where he's sitting at the counter with Tubbo.

"Alright," Eret chirps, practically throwing open the oven.

"Eret-" Tubbo starts, and is cut off by Eret grabbing the pan with their bare hand.

And Eret? Eret screams.

They drop the pan, and the chocolate cookies with chocolate chips go scattering across the floor.

Ranboo starts to cackle wildly, only because he knows Eret will be just fine, and, after some hesitation, Tubbo starts to giggle.

"Thoses were Tommy's cookies!" The boy cries, not really caring all that much in reality.

Niki rounds the corner, phone held up to her ear, and Ranboo is quick to turn the camera to face her. She takes in Eret, practically on the floor, and she looks so very done woth them.

"Hold on, Puffy," She says slowly, staring dead into the camera. "I'll be back, my sibling is an idiot." With that, she hangs up.

Eret screams again.

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

ranboo: ERET?.mp4

-

It's the video of Eret taking cookies out of the oven. There are oven mitts on the counter right next to it.

the video cuts off just as Eret screams again.

-

God: WH

Puff!: so that's what happened

Puff!: i just heard someone scream over the phone

God: are

God: are they okay???????

ranboo: they're fine

Niki :] : they're just a fool

bicon: Very true

Niki :] : shut up eret

bicon: Okay!

ranboo: the second scream was for comedy

ranboo: and it was very funny

bicon: I'm glad you enjoyed my comedic suffering

Niki :] : eret

bicon: Mimes zipping mouth shut

give me your lunch money: there were literally oven mitts right there wtf????

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

ranboo: flour.mp4

-

The phone is propped up, leaned against something as Tubbo dumps a cup of flower into a bowl, and Ranboo talks idly off screen.

Tubbo seems to debate something as Ranboo walks on screen, mixing ingedients in his own bowl.

And Tubbo lobs a cupfull of flour right at Ranboo's fancy looking jacket.

Ranboo gasps, looking down at the powder that covers his clothes, looking mildly offended. "Tubbo!" He cries, and scoops up his own handful of flour, and throws it right back.

It hits Tubbo in the face, and the video stops.

-

TOMMYINNIT: YOU THREW IT AT HIS FACE?????

ranboo: I DISNT MEAN TO I PROMISE

Wimblur: tubbo is a little gremlin who starts food fights

grim reaper: who would have known

-

bicon, Ph1lza

bicon: phil, hi, i know we had planned for tubbo to go home at 8, but,

bicon: well,

bicon: sleepy.jpg

-

It's a picture of Tubbo, being given a piggyback by Ranboo, almost entirely asleep.

-

bicon: would it be possible for him to just spend the night?

Ph1lza: well, he isn't going to school tomorrow, so he can't just go with ranboo in the morning

bicon: ah, well, i can deop him off after i drop of ranboo if that's okay with you?

Ph1lza: hm, yeah, that should be just fine, tech will be there to drop off tommy so he can just take tubbo

bicon: okay! sounds good :)

Chapter Text

Toms, Tubzo

Toms: you're really just leaving me huh

Toms: choosing ranboob over me

Tubzo: tired

Toms: i know

Toms: sighhhhhhh

Toms: wilbur's bitching at me cause he misses you

Tubzo: tell him i say goodnight

Toms: you could text him yourself

Toms: dont wanna

Toms: okay

Toms: i'll tell him

Tubzo: thanks

Toms: mhm

Toms: go to sleep now

Tubzo: ok

Toms: goodnight tubbo

Toms: i'll see you tomorrow

Tubzo: goodnight tommy

Tubzo: i love you

Toms: love you too

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

twobo has changed their name to tubzo

TOMMYINNIT has changed their name to toms

grim reaper: hi tubbo!

grim reaper: and arent you in school, tommy?

tubzo: hi sam

toms: maybe

Wimblur: are we doing nicknames

Wimblur has changed their name to Wilby

Wilby: :-D

Wilby: tommy calls me wilby

grim reaper: aw

toms: *USED TO

tubzo: no you still do

toms: NO I DONT?????

Wilby: you called me it last week at the wedding

toms: i didnt

Wilby: you did

tubzo: you said something along the lines of 'im not a child wilby'

toms: I DID NOT?????

Wilby: awwww tommy's embarassed

toms: NO IM NOT

blade: are we bulling tommy

tubzo: yea

grim reaper: yes

blade: nice

Wilby: techno change ur name to a nickname

blade: this is a nickname

Wilby: no its not

Wilby: change it to techie

blade: no

Wilby: please X-(

blade: stop

tubzo: please?

blade: fffffffine

blade has changed their name to techie

Wilby: :-D

Wilby: goid job tubbster

tubzo: :]

toms: stop using those shit faces

Wilby: THEY ARE NOT SHIT

-

Phil, little bee

Phil: you ready to talk to the police?

little bee: i guess

Chapter Text

Schoo. is uneventful and boring without Tubbo, but Tubbo hadn't gone the previous week eithet, so Tommy was mildly used to it at this point.

He wonders if Tubbo really was sick.

But he waves goodbye to Ranboo at the end of the day, abd goes to hop into the passenger seat of Techno's car, only to find the door locked.

His eyebrow raises as the tinted window rolls down, revealing Wilbur already sitting inside. "Get in the back, child," He says, making a vague gesture at the backseat with his hand. "We're going to get froyo."

Tommy does as told, half expecting Tubbpo to be back there waiting for him, and is mildly surprised to find that he isn't. "..Why are we doing this?"

"Because our lovely father has kicked us out of the house," He says, as if it's the simplest thing in the world. "So we're gonna fuck around and waste some time until he so kindly invites us back into our own home."

He props his feet up on the dashboard, to which Techno grumbles something along the lines of "Feet of the dash, Wilbur," Which goes completely ignored.

"And Tubbo?,"

"With Phil," Wilbur answers, and his voice is just a little bit kinder.

-

They finally get home around 7:30, and Tommy has an entirely melted cup of formerly frozen yogurt in his hand, but he suspects Tubbo will probably just drink it anyways.

The house is quiet, the kitchen light is on, so that's where Tommy heads first.

It's only Phil.

"Hey dad," Tommy hums, slipping past his father to put the slush in the fridge, and Phil jumps. "Where's Tubbo?"

"Jesus, Tommy, I didn't know you three came home," He mumbles, as Techno and Wilbur slide into the kitchen. "He's in your room,"

Tommy nods, and zips off before Phil can say anything further.

He pushes his door open, the room is dark, and there's a mound cacooned in his blankets.

Okay.

Tommy shuts the door softly, but not quietly, slips in the room and settles on his bed. "Hey, Tubbo,"

The mound shifts, Tommy can see dark hair poking out from underneath the blankets. "..hi, Tommy," His voice is raspy.

Tommy nudges him through the blankets. "Mind if I join you?" He asks lightly, and Tubbo silently raises his arm, opening the blanket cacoon, abnd Tommy gladly slips inside.

It's.. hot, and stuffy, and Tommy doesn't particularily like it, but Tubbo leans against him, so Tommy bites his tongue and wraps his arms around his best friend.

From here he's not really sure how to proceed, and Tubbo seems content enough in the quiet, so Tommy keeps his mouth shut.

Until, "Do you ever just.. wish you were dead?"

Tommy jolts, panic shooting through him. He doesn't even get a word out before Tubbo starts desperately trying to backtrack.

"I- I don't- I don't mean that I want to die-" His voice shakes, and he sounds almost as panicked as Tommy feels. "I'm not going to like- y-you know? I'm not gonna off- off myself- I just- S-Sometimes I think it'd be.. e-easier?,"

Tubbo keeps talking, but Tommy doesn't hear it. Wilbur said stuff like that, and then Wilbur- And then Wilbur ended up in the hospital.

Tommy sits up, dragging the blanket off them both, and Tubbo gets up moments after.

"Tommy-"

"You can't- You can't just say shit like that-" Tommy presses the palms of his hands into his eyes. His chest feels tight, he's so fucking scared.

"I'm sorry," Tubbo's slim fingers wrap around one of his wrists. "I'm sorry, I- I'm not going to do something like that, I didn't even mean to say that, I'm sorry-" Tubbo sounds like he might start crying.

Tommy doesn't want Tubbo to think he's mad, so he pulls his hands away from his eyes and wraps his arms around the smaller boy, sighing heavily.He doesn't.. even really know what to do.

"I'm sorry," Tubbo whispers, practically boneless against Tommy's chest.

"I.. I think we should talk to Phil,"

"No," Tubbo tenses. "Not yet, not yet, please."

Tommy presses his lips together. He doesn't want to push this, he doesn't want to force Tubnp into anything, so he agrees, hesitantly, but he's going to keep an eye on Tubbo, and he will go to Phil if he has to. He's not going to let it get that bad again.

Chapter Text

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Wilby: i just watched tubbo start chugging melted frozen yogurt

ranboo: he

ranboo: he's what

Wilby: theres nerds and the boba things in it and he's just fucking chugging it

quack man: GO TUBBO GO

ranboo: DONT ENCOURAGE HIM????

grim reaper: is that safe?

Wilby: probably not

Wilby: but i dont think i can stop him

grim reaper: have you tried

Wilby: well

Wilby: no,

Wilby: but

Wilby: wait

Wilby: SHIT

ranboo: oh god

Wilby: HES FUCKING CHOKIMG

ranboo: HLP HIM????

grim reaper: STOP TEXTING AND HELP HIM

quack man: OH SHIT

Wilby: FUCK

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Toms: wilbur is no longer allowed to be alone with tubbo

Wilby: WHY????

ranboo: YOU LET HIM INHALE THINGS HE WASNT SUPPOSED TO EITHOUT STOPING HIM AND SO HE CHOKED??

Wilby: he's 16 he can make his own decisons

ranboo: NOT ONES THAT WILL CAUSE HIM HARM??

grim reaper: i hope you never have kids, wilbur

Wilby: thanks sam i wont

Wilby: he's fineee

Toms: tech literally had to give him the heimlich but OKAY

Wilby: but it emded up fine???

tubzo: i threw up

Wilby: mostly fine

quack man: man..

grim reaper: ypu have an odd definition of fine

Wilby: its just better than yours

ranboo: its??? its not??

grim reaper: its much worse, actually

Wilby: im getting ganged up on :-[

Toms: yeah

Wilby: :'(

Chapter Text

Wilbur hums, strumming bandaged fingers over guitar strings, allowing the half baked yet soothing melody fill the otherwise silent air. He distantly entertains the thought of getting one of the cinnamon cookies Niki, Tubbo, Ranboo, and Eret made for him.

Before he can really give it any proper throught, someone knocks on his door.

He tilts his head slightly, setting his guitar on the floor, leaning against his bed. It's nearing 12 am, he wonders who could be knocking. Maybe Tech..

"Come in,"

The door is pushed open, and Tommy steps inside, shutting it behind him.

And that's.. definitely not what Wilbur had been expecting. Tommy doesn't knock, Tommy bursts in and does whatevee the hell he wants, so this is very decidedly not Tommy-like.

And Tommy looks hesitant, worried, so Wilbur pats the spot on the bed next to him, a silent invitation, and Tommt takes it, hoping up and practically burrowing into Wilbur's side.

It's nice, for all of Wilbur's teasing and complaining, he really, really loves his little brother. He mourns the days when this was a usual thing, back when they were younger, or even last year, even if it wasn't an overall good time.

"What's up, Toms?"

Tommy shifts. "I um- There's something I wanna tell you, o-or- or talk to you about, I- I guess,"

"Yeah?" He wraps an arm around his twiggy brothers shoulder, resting his cheek on messy blond hair. "What is it?"

Tommy sighs, longly, "Well, last night, after we got home, Tubbo- T-Tubbo started talking about- about wanting to be dead,"

..Oh.

Wilbur feels himself tense, and Tommy keeps talking, like now that he's started he can't stop. "He said- He said he didn't want to die, but thought being dead would be easer, and I- that's just so fucking worring, Wil, I don't- I didn't- He doesn't want to tell Phil yet, so I told him I wouldn't, but I- I couldn't just leave it, that's so- it's- now I feel bad abour telling you without his permission and I-"

"Hey, Hey," Wilbur pulls the younger boy closer, swallowing around the lump in his throat. "It's okay, Toms, it's gonna be alright, I won't say anything to Tubbo unless you think it's the best option," He knows how it feels for people to know things he wasn't ready for them to know.

He remembers being cornered by Techno before thimgs went really bad.

Tommy sniffes, softly. "Sorry, sorry, 'm just worried,"

"I know, I know, trust me I do," He attempts to soothe, thumb rubbing gently over the teens shoulder. "It's gonna be alright, Tommy, we'll figure it out."

Tommy presses his face against Wilbur's side. "..I hope so,"

Chapter Text

sex

SAPNAP!!!: do you guys wanna like

SAPNAP!!!: see a movie

KARL???: like a date? ??

SAPNAP!!!: i mean............

SHUT THE FUCK UP: like homie date or date date

KARL???: kissing the homies but we're not actually homies we're just all gay???

SAPNAP!!!: i mean... shitttt if you wanna

SHUT THE FUCK UP: what movie

SAPNAP!!!: hadnt thought that far ahead

SHUT THE FUCK UP: unsurprising

KARL???: we should see a comedy :)

SHUT THE FUCK UP: i'll look at what the theater has

SAPNAP!!!: cool, cool,

SHUT THE FUCK UP: ,,is this actualy going to be a date

SAPNAP!!!: if you,,, want it to be?,

KARL???: i do

SHUT THE FUCK UP: mhm

SAPNAP: okay, okay cool,

-

fearsome threesome

Pandas: i think i somehow managed to accidentally get a date

Dweam: how do you accidentally get a date????

Pandas: I ASKED QUACK AND KSRL IF THEY WANTD TL GO TO TGE MOVIES AND WE STARTED JOKING ABOUT IT BEING A DATE BUT THEN WE ACTUALLY ENDED UP DECIDIMG ON IT BEING A DATE IDK

Gogy: wow

Pandas: im going to

Pandas: have a heart attack

Gogy: dont die

Dweam: then you wouldn't get to go on your date

Pandas: true..

Pandas: fuckkkkk

Dweam: good luck

Chapter Text

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Toms: pancakes.jpg

-

It's.. it's picture of Tubbo shoving a burnt, BURNT, pancake in his mouth.

-

Toms: he made it

bicon: Tommy feeding us our daily quota of Tubbo because we miss him now that he's pretty much a ghost in the gc

grim reaper: doing gods work

God: huh

Swipnip: DREAM SHUT UP

ranboo: why is he eating it

funds: how does talking about god summon dream and dream talking about himself being god or anything similar summon sapnap

quack man: they're just quirky like that

Toms: he's proud

ranboo: OF THAT?

God: we are

Toms: yes

God: ALSO SAPNAP SHUT TF ALL I SAID WAS 'HUH'

grim reaper: we all know why you sais it

Swipnip: yeah >:(

ranboo: i feel concern for tubbo's health

funds: they arent wrong dream

God: you're supposed to defend me :(

Toms: he's fine

ranboo: that's what wilbur said

ranboo: and then tubbo choked

funds: sorry sorry i will

God: :)

Swipnip: ewwwww

God: :(

Toms: well nothing will happen because i am much more responsible

ranboo: uh huh

bicon: i burnt my hand again

Niki :] : eret what the fuck

Chapter Text

Tubbo curls up tight under the blanket he and Tommy share, listening to his best friend rummage around for clothes. Tommy had school, and Tubbo wasn't going back yet.

He isn't ready yet, it's been a week since.. what happened, but he's still not ready. He isn't sure he's ready for Tommy to leave for the day either, but tomorrow is Saturday, so, at least theres that, Tubbo supposes. He thinks it's the only thing he's looking forward to.

A hand comes to rest on top of his head, on top of the blanket. "I gotta go now," Tommy says lightly. "I'll see you later, okay? We can watch a movie or somethin', make sure to eat soon. Bye, Tubbo,"

"Bye," Tubbo whispers, and Tommy leaves.

And it's just Tubbo.

He doesn't want to be alone, but he can't make himself get up. He knows he should, Phil is out there, Wilbur and Techno are out there, he doesn't have to be alone, but he can't fucking get up.

He feels pretty pathetic.

He worries that Phil will worry if he doesn't get up soon, but that.. doesn't help in the way he hoped it would, it doesn't push him, he just.. stays. He stays. Why is he staying, why does he have to be like this? Why is it so hard to just get out of bed?

He sniffles softly, pressing his face against his arm. He wishes Tommy didn't have to leave, he wishes Tommy were here to lay with him, to blabber about everything and nothing, to make Tubbo feel better about how he feels.

He doesn't have to be alone.

So why is he doin this? He knows he could feel better if he just spent the day with any of the other three people livin here, Techno would read to him or Wilbur would play him songs, maybe Phil would try to teach him to cook again, or maybe they'd all watch a movie.

And it sounds nice, it sounds so nice, and he's hungry, but his body doesn't want to listen, his brain casts out logical thinking. He curls up tighter, wipes his tears away on his arm.

maybe it would be better to just go back to sleep.

Chapter Text

Wilbur hasn't seen Tubbo all day, and it's nearing one pm.

While that in of itself may not be too odd, there's a nagging feeling in his stomach. Tybbo hadn't been present at breakfast, and even if Wilbur had been in his own room plenty, he usually saw Tubbo at least once by this point, not to mention what Tomny told him gives him a decent idea of Tubbo's mental state..

So, Wilbur puts himself in his caring big brother Wilby mode, not asshole big brother Wilby mode, and heads to Tommy's room.

He knocks gently and pushes the door open, easily spotting the blanket mound on the bed. He steps in, shutting the door behind him, and hops up on the bed.

"Hey there, Tubbo," He says softly, crossing his legs.

The mound shifts, a less bruised than a week ago, but still bruised face peeks out.

"How are you?'

"'m okay," Tubbo responds quietly. "'s tired."

"Mhm," Wilbur hums, pulling some of the blanket back. Tubbo's still in his pajamas. "Have you eaten today?"

Tubbo bites his lip. "..yes."

"Uh huh," That took too long. "What did you eat?"

Tubbo sighs, ducking back under the blankets.

"Come on, Tubbster, I'm hungry and gonna beg Phil to make me food anyways, come eat with me, I wanna spend time with you." Wilbur is worried, to say the least.

Tubbo peeks out of the blankets again. "..really?"

"Yes, of course, I love to hang out with you, Tubbo." He says sincerly, nudging the boy he considers as a little brother. "Come on, up! I need your puppy eyes to help convince Phil."

With some more nudging, he gets Tubbo standing, and together they stand at Phil's door, Wilbur pushing it open with one hand and Tubbo's small one in his other.

"Father dearest," He calls as Phil groans, sitting up from where he was laying on his bed. "We're hungry."

"Oh yeah?" The man grumbles as he stands. "You know, Wil, we have plenty of food you could make yourself, microwave meals and such."

"Yes," Wilbur nods sagely. "But we want eggs, right Tubbo?"

Said boy nods rapidly, fluffy ears flopping.

Phil sighs, loudly, running a hand over his face. "Fine, fine. Go get everything I'm gonna need, I'll be down in a moment."

They scamper downstaurs, collecting the pan, butter, and of course, most importantly, the eggs. They sit on the counter as Phil cooks, hands swinging between them.

Wilbur practically inhales his food, keeping an eye on Tubbo. Once they're both done, he bounces off his chair excitedly.

"You know what we should do now? We should build a fort."

Tubbo lights up at that prospect, and together they gather up blankets and pillows, and Wilbur's plush blue sheep named Friend, of course.

At some point during the building process Techno comes down, and using those damn puppy eyes Tubbo convinces him to help, and soon enough they have a rather nice fort that the three of them huddle under until Techno has to leave.

They watch Wall-E while he's gone, and despite everything, Tubbo seems still ratger down, and Wilbur doesn't know how to make it any better.

But Tubbo lights up like a damn christmas tree once Techno comes home with Tommy in tow. He's quick to rush to his best friend, who accepts the hug with a sharp, surprised laugh.

"Hey, hey big man," Tommy utters gently, looking over every inch of Tubbo. "How was your day?"

"Not bad," Tubbo replies, and gestures to the living room. "Look, look, me, Wilbur, 'n Tech made a fort!"

Tommy brightens at that, and in a moment they're both huddled under it with Wilbur.

And Wilbur's happy, he loves to spebd time with the two gremlins, no matter how he may complain, he loves them both.

So he watches whatever movies they want with minimal complaints, and Phil orders pizza, and they all end up curled up in the fort together, laying on each other.

This is his family, Wilbur loves them so, so much, and he's so happy that he's still here to be with them.

Chapter Text

SMAL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

God: we should do a movie night

funds: we should watch treasure planet

God: fundy i love you to death but we just watched that last night

God: and almost every other date night

funds: its a good movie

God: yes, it is, but jfc we watch it so much

grim reaper: where woukd this even happen? and when?

God: uh

God: tonight

grim reaper: thats so last minute????

God: yeah :)

Niki :] : we could do it at my place?

bicon: OUR place, kiki

Niki :] : no youre irresponsible

bicon: D:

ranboo: trueeeeeee

God: if you can make it uhhhhh

funds: put a smiley face

God: yeah

Niki :] : what time

funds: 6?

funds: leaves 2 hours to get ready?

God: sounds good

bicon: mhm

God: ok now smiley face time

toms: me n tubbo can make it

funds: put the smiley face tommy

toms: no

Wilby: B-)

God: put a non ugly face

Wilby: shut up

Wilby: tech is also coming because he's the only one of the four of us that can drive

techie: im not driving you

Wilby: yes you are

Wilby: tubbo wants you to drive

toms: he does

grim reaper: i can make it

Shark-y: me too :]

Puff!: foolish!!! hi!

Puff!: i'll be there!

Shark-y: hi puffy :]

funds: why is no one putting faces D:

God: put smiley faces or else

Swipnip: no

Wilby: i put a smiley face

God: shut up sapnap

funds: your ugly face doesnt count

Wilby: :-C

funds: STOP

Swipnip: me n karl n q can be there

grim reaper: im picking up ponk

toms: tubbo gave tech puppy eyes and now tech is driving us

Puff!: good for him

ranboo: technoblades's one weakness??? tubbo's puppy eyes?????

techie: i have no weaknesses

Wilby: you've folded because of tubbo multiplw tines but ok tech with no blade

quack man: TECH WITH NO BLADE

Wilby: yeah

techie: i hate it here

Chapter Text

Getting everything ready in two hours is, admitedly, a bit of a task. Eret has been temporarily banned from the kitchen, so Ranboo and Niki set up food and snacks while they make sure everythings clean and they have enough pillows and such.

Ranboo looks working in the kitchen with Niki, even if he isn't all that great at it, he loves his sister with every bone in his body, he loves spending time with her.

Currently he's making popcorn while she washes dishes, because water burn his skin and his rubber gloves broke.

He glances at the clock. Almost six. Oooookay.

Niki pulls her hands out of the water, not bothering to dry them as her skin absorbs the moisture. Perks of being a mer hybrid, Ranboo supposes, although not enough of one that she has to live in water, but she does have to soak for a few hours each day.

Shortly after, the doorbell rings and Eret launches themself over the couch to answer it.

It's Puffy and Foolish, and Ranboo feels just a twinge of dissapointment, he'd hoped it'd be Tommy and Tubbo, because he hasn't seen Tubbo in a week, and he really, really misses him already.

But that feeling almost entirely diminishes as he see's Foolish wrap his arms around Eret, and watches Niki light up and rush over to Puffy.

"Ranboo!" Foolish greets brightly as he pulls away from Eret, reaching up to ruffle the ender hybrids hair. He's only a little shorter than Ranboo, and if he's being honest he really likes Foolish, and see's the.. shark-totem hybrid as an older brother figure.

"Hi, Foolish."

Eret slips up behind them and wraps an arm around them both. "Do you have any movie ideas, Foolish?" They ask, excitement clear in their voice, and Ranboo realizes it's been a while since Foolish has been around. "We're noypt gonna decide until everyone gets here, but I figured it'd be nice to have a loose idea, you know?"

With a nod from Foolish they both leave to where the movies are sorted and placed out, and Ranboo guesses he's been silently put on door duty as Puffy and Niki move into the kitchen.

After some waiting and listening to the idle chatter in the house, plus petting Enderchest, the door rings again.

He see's Eret perk up out of the corner of his eye, and he holds back a laugh as he opens the door. It's only Fundy and Dream.

Ponk and Sam arrive first, and then finally, FINALLY, Tubbo, Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur arrive.

Tubbo practically launches himself at the ender hybrid, asking a million questions about Michael and clinging to his arm. Tommy rolls his eyes and grumbles loudly, but theres a smile tugging at his lips, and he drags them both to the couch.

They end up pretty much in a pile when Sapnap, Karl, and Quackity arrive, and the arguing over a movie begins.

"We should watch The Cat Returns," Foolish suggests, and that immedietly causes an uproar of different Ghibli suggestions, complainimg about not wanting to watch Studio Ghibli movies, mostly from Fundy, who just wants to watch Treasure Planet, but in the end they decide on Ponyo.

Ponyo, because Tubbo and Tommy had merged the power of their puppy eyes and no one could say no, even if they did complain.

Ranboo has seen Ponyo too many times to count, but he can't find it in himself to complain with Tubbo draped over his and Tomny's lap and the blond leaning aginst his side.

Chapter Text

It's around ten when the kids get home. Technically, Wil amd Techno aren't kids, they're in their twenties, but Phil supposes they always will be something akin to five to him.

But anyways. Techno looks ratehr people-d out for the rest of the week, Wilbur looks, somwhow, both exhausted and energized at the same time, Tommy looks practically dead on his feet, for all his big talk he typically conks out pretty early, and Tubbo looks tired as well, but in an entirely different way.

Techno raises a hand in greeting. "'M headin up for the night, Phil."

"Goodnight," Phil offers, watching as Techno walks away and Wilbur begings to hound him, clucthing onto the pig hybrids arms and following after him.

"I heard you tell Dream you were going tp go against him, can I watch? I wanna rub it in that green bitches face-" Wilbur's voice fades away, and a small smile tugs at Phil's lips as he turns to the teens standing in front of him from where he's sitting on the couch, hands clasped together.

Tubbo still seems semi uncomfortable here, in a way he wasn't before everything happened. Tommy's hardly ever away from him.

"We're going to bed now," Tommy says, tugging Tubbo slighly. "Night!" He rushes, then runs up the stairs practically dragging Tubbo with him.

Phil rolls his eyes fondly, and goes back to his book.

-

About an hour later he's interupted with Tubbo turning into the living room and freezing like a deer caught in headlights.

"Oh- I uh, didn't expect you to still be up," He says slowly, shifting his weight awkwardly.

"I could say the same to you," Phil hums, patting the couch next to him. "Couldn't sleep?"

Tubbo hesitates, but slips over and settles down, a decent amount of space between the two of them. He pulls his knees up to his chest and sets his chin on top of them. "I guess not,"

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Tubbo pulls a face, tracing shapes on the couch cushion. "..maybe."

Phil marks his place and quietly shuts the book, setting it on the coffee table, giving Tubbo his full attention, and waits.

It takes him a moment or two, face pinched up, but he whispers, "I think I miss my dad." And promptly starts to cry.

Phil winces, scooting closer. Not a lot, Tubbo has to choose whether he wants to be close or not. It's almost like an offer of closeness. "That's okay,"

Tubbo shakes his head. "Its stupid- It's so stupid. But- but he wasn't always bad, he used to love me. We used to go to the b-beach at the end of every month- a- and we used to get ice cream- and it's stupid, because he hurt me and I shouldn't miss him, but all I want is for him to hug me amd tell me it'll be okay again," Tubbo sobs, hiding his face in his knees, and Phil thinks his heart is breaking.

"That's not stupid, Tubbo, not at all, it's okay to miss him," Phil coaxes gently. "Even if he was always bad it would still be okay to miss him, he raised you, that doesn't just go away,"

Tubbo's hand finds his remainin horn, holding it in a death grip while the other fists his hair. "It's not fair- I shouldn't- I don't want to, it hurts, it really hurts-" His voice breaks off at the end. "He used to call me Tubbee, and we'd walk along the beach and collect seashells, and scare seagulls, because he couldn't swim and so he couldn't teach me, a-and he couldn't afford to get someone to teach me-"

Phil listens as Tubbo rambles on, heart aching for this boy. He wishes that he was able to reach inside him and pull out all of the hurt, even if that meant he had to feel it all instead. "Do you want a hug?" He offers gently as Tubbo tapers off.

The young hybrid looks up, and only nods for a moment before he's crashing into Phil, clinging like he'd die if he let's go, and Phil holds him back just as stongly, trying to pour every ounce of his love into him.

Eventually Tubbo quiets down, relaxing in Phil's hold, so the man gently pulls him away to look at him. "Tubbo, do you think you'd be willing to try therapy?"

Tubbo tenses breifly, eyes flickering to the side, and there's a hint of self deprication in them. "I dunno," He mumbles. "Talking to a stranger is.. scary, I- I guess-"

"Puffy's a therapist," Phil runs a gentle hand through the boys soft, messy hair. "Wilbur see's her, actually,"

"She is? He- He does?"

"Yup, every Monday,"

Tubbo chews his bottom lip, looking hesitant and uncertain. "..okay," He whispers. "I- I guess I'll try. I think- I think I need it,"

Phil nods a little. "Okay, we can set something up, then. And if you don't think it's going to be good after a couple sessions then you don't have to keep going." He hopes to whatever God may be listening that he's doing this right. Even after Wilbur he's still uncertain. "Maybe you should talk to Wilbur about it a bit,"

Tubbo nods, tucking himself into Phil's side. "Maybe," He mumbles, eyelids heavy.

Phil smiles, wrapping a wing around the boy. "And also, Tubbo, I've been meaning to ask, but what do you think about adoption?"

Chapter Text

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Quack man has changed their name to hot

HONK has changed their name to hotter

Swipnip has changed their name to hottest

God: ewww Sapnap's is wronggggg

hottest: im going to strangle you

God: @lost what do you think ab this shit

lost: should be changed to ugliest

God: TRUEEEEEE

hottest: :,(

hotter: YOU MADE HIM CRY

hot: taking another trip to george's house rn

lost: OH NO

hotter: omw to fight dream

God: try it

hotter: omw to recruit technoblade to fight dream

hotter: after i pick up sapnap for a movie date

hot: dont forget u have to pick me up too

hotter: i wont :)

hottest: MOVIE DATE MOVIE DATE

God: ewwwww you're going on a movie date?!????

hottest: dream

funds: dream we went on a movie date

God: aha,,,

God: kidding

funds: mhm

hottest: dumbass

God: shut up

hottest: no

lost: i dont know if quackity is actually coming or not and it's terrifying

hot: :)

God: fundy we should have matching names

funds: like what

God: i dont,,, know

funds: i'll try to think of something

God: cool cool, i'll do the same

hottest: karl picked me up and he KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK

hotter: :)

hot: GET HERE FAST I EXPECT KISSES FROM BOTH OF YOU

hotter: speeding rn

God: karl don't text and drive

Chapter Text

It's nearing 1am, Wilbur's just about to fall asleep when someone knocks on his door, soft and hesitant. Wilbur huffs, sitting up on his bed. It seems like this is going to be something he has to get used to.

"Come in," Wilbur calls, making sure his hair looks at least semi decent.

The door slowly slides open, and Tubbo peaks in, pale skin dotted with bruises that are still healing, eyes red rimmed and hair a mess. "Hi," He whispers. "Sorry- sorry if I, um, woke you, I don't actually know what time it is- my phone is dead and I couldn't sleep,"

"I was already awake," Wilbur smiles, gesturing for Tubbo to come in. Tubbo's phone has been dead a lot lately. "Come on now, don't just stand there. What's on your mind?"

Tubbo slips in, shutting the door behind him and making his way to the bed. "Um, I was talking to Phil yesterday and uh," He sits on the bed at Wilbur's prodding. "He said- He offered me, um, therapy, and he said- he said you went too?"

Ah.

"Yeah," He holds an arm out, a silent offer, and Tubbo quickly huddles into his side. "It helps."

Tubbo nods against him, sighing softly. "It's scary,"

"Yeah," Wilbur agrees, combing his fingers through Tubbo's unruly hair. "It is, but Puffy's nice, and good at her job. She knows how to make you feel comfortable and she won't judge you for anything. It'll be okay, bubs."

Tubbo peers up at him, eyes wide at the nickname.

Wilbur smiles, ruffling his hair. "It'll be alright." He says gently, warmly. He loves Tubbo. "It looks like you had a rough night, why don't you come downstairs with me and we can find something to eat or drink?"

Tubbo nods, and together they head downstairs as quietly as they can. Which to say isnt all that quiet.

Wilbur rummages through the fridge while Tubbo stares over his shoulder, quietly commenting on whatever Wilbur manages to find. They don't even dare with anything on the stove, they did not want a cranky, 1 am Phil to have to rush downstairs because of a fire.

They end up eating cereal, the sugary shit Tommy makes Phil buy.

Wilbur doesn't particularily like cereal, but their options were limited, and Tubbo seemed excited about the idea of a sugar explosion, so Wilbur went with it.

Wilbur feels a swell of affection and anger swell in his chest as he looks at the boy across from him. Anger at the fact that he's hurt, anger at the man who hurt him.

Wilbur would like nothing more than to clock Tubbo's 'father' in the mouth.

Once they're done he walks Tubbo up to Tommy's room, leaning against the doorframe and watching Tubbo worm his way under the blankets and into Tommy's arms, who so readily accepts him even in sleep.

He loves them.

"Goodnight, Tubbo," He says softly, despite the fact that it's 2 am, technically morning.

"Goodnight, Wilbur."

Chapter Text

Biggest of men

big man 1: ranboo you cant swim yeah?

ran: mhm

big man 1: k

ran: why do you ask

tub: bc i cant swim

ran: oh

ran: okay

big man 1: he refuses to learn

tub: i dont need to

big man 1: yeah??? what if you fall in the pool again???

ran: you fell in the pool???

tub: i wont??

tub: i was hallucinating or some shit

ran: what

big man 1: and what if it happens again???

tub: it wont

tub: plus it doesnt matter right now anyways

tub: cant teach me with the cast

big man 1: still

tub: its fine

ran: ????

tub: dw abt it

big man 1: you almost drowned

tub: almost

tub: anyways, boo, we're going to the beach tomorrow, for like, healing shit or whatever, phil invited you niki and eret

big man 1: ahem. tubbo invited you and phil went along with it

ran: oh

ran: i'll talk to nik and eret abt it

ran: they'll probably be excited if they have the time

ran: eret probably does, dunno about niki

tub: dw abt it if you guys can't make it

big man 1: do worry about it, tubzo needs like emotional support or some shit

tub: shut up

ran: i make no promises but i'll do my best i guess??

big man 1: your best better be a yes

tub: shut up tommy

big man 1: no

tub: i am right next to you i will smother you with a pillow

big man 1: shutting up

tub: uh huh

ran: didn't know it was possible to get tommy to shut up

tub: its my special skill

big man 1: pretty shit skill

tub: nah

tub: helps me keep my sanity

tub: you just have to threaten to murder him

big man 1: i could easily overpower you with your broken arm and shit

tub: but would you???

big man 1: ,

big man 1: no

tub: :)

ran: tommy's one weakness

ran: tubbo

tub: yeah :)

big man 1: not true

tub: tommy i am currently laying on you??? shut up??

tub: ranboo you wanna come over

ran: you are just randomly inviting me?

tub: texted phil first

ran: hm. you're house is is walking distance,,,

tub: tommy's house

ran: ah, right

big man 1: you live here so

tub: meh

tub: phil says you could spend the night and then go to the beach with us tomorrow

ran: lemme ask niki

tub: k

Chapter Text

aha,, hello. its been ages since ive updated and the longer it takes me the more,, displeased i get with this fic as a whole.

i dont like some decisions ive made and how some things are written, pkus tis was supposed to e a chat fic and kind of just,, mostly dtopped being that?

sooooo,, after much, much considerationm ive decided toooooooo rewrite this.

yup,, it'll be more of a written story with some text elememts and stuff, focused om Tubbo as this has mostly been, better buildup, better writing, yada yada.

im unsure how long it'll take me, but please do be on the lookout for it :)

and i want to thank you all for every hit, kudos, bookmark, and especially comment. you guys made writing this such a joy even when i didn't neccisarily want to, and i dearly hope to see you on the rewrite

thank you <3

Chapter Text

whew. the rewrite is officially up, which means this is officially over.

this fic will continue to stay up so,, yeah. idk. it'll be weird to be done with this. i hope you guys enjoyed it, and i thank you for sticking around for the ride. i hope to see you on the new fic