Chapter Text
The first time Karl lived Tuesday it was incredibly unextraordinary in every single way. Of course he wasn’t aware that waking up at 7:27 AM on Tuesday would become a recurring thing. Typically, you only live days once, no matter how unusual they are. You especially only live days once when they are so regular they blend with the rest easily.
Karl obviously isn’t aware of any of this when he wakes up to the blaring alarm on his phone, notifying him that it is 7:27 AM, and he needs to start getting ready for the day. He’s vaguely aware that it’s Tuesday and he has things he needs to do, but his bed is so warm and his head is aching. He probably should have opted to pass up that extra Monster last night. Although it wouldn’t have made much of a difference since his caffeine induced headache likely would have happened either way. Karl pushes himself to stand and enters the frigid morning world. Breakfast won’t make itself and he knows that skipping another meal is not in his best interest right now, (especially after only eating snacks and energy drinks yesterday). He throws on the jeans he’s pretty sure he wore two days ago and a sweater that bears a very close resemblance to someone's botched attempt at quilting. It’s not like he has anyone to impress today anyway. And then he’s out the door and on the bus to all the unmemorable places in which he lives. That one crack on the sidewalk that he's almost tripped over multiple times, the tree that looks like a petrified eldritch horror, and the bleak library that he plans to spend a good portion of his morning in.
The building is cold on the inside and the group of students that Karl is sitting next to are whispering a little too loud to be polite. One guy is sleeping on the table across from Karl and it wouldn’t be an issue except his intense breathing is very distracting. Karl is fiddling with a pen and hoping that the blank page in front of him will magically fill up with perfect notes. The one saving grace, and honestly the only thing making getting up this early on a Tuesday where Karl didn’t have any morning classes, was the fact that Sapnap was sitting right next to him, also struggling with schoolwork.
Sapnap groaned and dramatically laid down on the table “Oh my God, Mr. Mitchell is kicking my ass right now,” he stuck his arms out and Karl had to smack an offending hand off of the notes he was attempting to concentrate on.
“You’re so melodramatic, I’m sure it’s not that bad,”
Sapnap lifted his head and shot Karl a look that screamed kicked puppy, “But it is that bad,” he shot into an upright position and threw his hands up, “I think that he’s targeting me specifically.”
Karl laughed, “Oh really? What reason would he have for that?”
“I’m too sexy to also succeed in a Calculus class, that’s why.”
“Sure Sapnap, keep telling yourself that.”
Sapnap leaned up against Karl’s side in mock hurt, “I can’t believe you,” Sapnap’s hand was up in the air again gesturing with everything he said, “You only bully me.” Karl doesn’t think Sapnap realizes how physically expressive he is. It’s endearing and all too entertaining to see Sapnap wildly wave his hands around when he gets excited. It's one of the many things Karl likes about Sapnap, one of his many little eccentricities that slip by the gaze of people who aren’t smart enough to want to know Sapnap better.
“That’s not true,” Karl smiles and awkwardly attempts to pat Sapnap’s arm in fake sympathy, but because of their position it ends up way too high and on his shoulder, “I also bully Q.”
Sapnap gasps, full of fake offense and sarcasm, “I can’t believe you’d cheat on me!”
“Do you need me to call the wambulance for you?” Karl giggles and Sapnap’s over exaggerated frown quickly slips into a light smile and even lighter laughter. They stop for a moment and calm themselves but the second they meet eyes again the giddy feeling is returning full force and laughter naturally bubbles up around them. They’re too loud for a library but neither really care.
They get kicked out for disrupting the other students. It's not fair because the other students were distracting first, but Karl can’t really bring himself to mind all that much. Now they have an excuse to go hang out without the awful stress of studying permeating the air.
“Well,” Karl turns towards Sapnap, “Where to now, handsome?”
Sapnap chuckles and walks confidently past Karl, “Follow me,” he winks, his face is flushed and he’s trying so hard to play it cool that Karl finds himself smiling a bit too wide, “It’s not the first time I’ve gotten kicked out of the library.”
Karl shakes his head but takes one large step so that he’s walking directly next to Sapnap, “You are such a nimrod.”
“You can say that you love me Jacobs,” Karl gently punches his shoulder, “What? No need to be embarrassed,” Sapnap raises his hands in defense as Karl goes in to smack him in the back of the head.
“I was naive to think that the end of November would result in any personal improvement on your part.”
“Can’t improve perfection, baby,” Sapnap laughs loudly when Karl fails to find a comeback fast enough, and Karl can’t help but laugh with him. Sapnap is a bit infectious like that, even when he’s acting stupid and flirty. To be fair, Karl was acting stupid and flirty too. Maybe Sapnap just had that effect on people.
“God, you’re attractive,” Karl is cackling as the light dusting of pink on Sapnap’s face morphs into red. Sapnap can act coy all he wants but Karl takes great pride in knowing that a compliment, even a joking one, will turn Sapnap into a tomato.
They end up in a cafe. It’s very nice and the atmosphere is cozy. There are little plants everywhere and the aroma of average coffee in the air. There’s also an out of place vending machine tucked in the corner which Karl is entirely grateful for because he had been craving some sweet Monster Energy. Overall, it’s a great spot to study and Karl wouldn’t be surprised if Sapnap had actually found it on one of the many occasions he and Dream had been kicked from studying in the library. (Karl’s genuinely surprised they haven’t been permanently banned yet.) So yeah it’s nice, and yeah Karl will most definitely be returning, but right now he really wants to leave.
He can exactly pinpoint why, but the stupid barista flirting with Sapnap is causing the heavy, uncomfortable feeling in Karl’s chest to becoming overwhelming. Probably the worst part is that Sapnap is grinning wide and trading flirtatious comments with the barista like it's the most natural thing in the world. Karl just wants the guy to leave and Sapnap is making that impossible because he’s way too magnetic for his own good. People tend to not realize because he spends half his time around Dream, and well, Dream is Dream. He’s charismatic in a loud way. Sapnap is softer, but he’s dazzling. Karl kind of wished coffee guy hadn’t noticed.
Here's the thing, Karl does not have an issue with the fact that Sapnap and this guy are flirting. Hell, he doesn’t have an issue with the fact they will probably end up on a date. He’s a proud ally and he’s happy that his friend feels comfortable enough around him to express his attraction to other guys in front of him without feeling scrutinized. However, Karl is slowly turning into a third wheel for Sapnap and whoever this barista is, and today he just doesn’t have the bandwidth to deal with it. He interrupts them when the barista touches Sapnap’s shoulder, and repositions himself as to be more comfortable standing for a longer conversation, “As much as I love to see little Sappitus living out his coffee shop meet cute,” the barista looks embarrassed and Sapnap’s attention is finally on Karl again, “We do have a ton of work that isn’t going to finish itself.”
Sapnap smiles apologetically up at coffee guy, “Ah sorry, but my little shmukums is right. I have so much to do today.”
Finally, finally the barista leaves and Sapnap looks at Karl incredulously, “What the hell was that?”
“What kinda name is shmukums?”
“No no no, you first.”
“I don’t know what you’re asking.”
“You can’t be playing oblivious right now.”
Karl frowns, “I’m not.”
“You’re usually so nice to new people.”
Karl shrugged and pulled a blank notebook out of his bag, “I was being nice.”
“And I thought I was supposed to be the dumb friend.”
“You are the dumb friend,”
“Karl.”
“What?”
“You can talk to me if somethings up,” Sapnap looks so painfully honest. It's making Karl sick. Why did he have to be so considerate sometimes? Can’t he just allow Karl to try to figure out his confusing jumble of emotions in peace?
Karl’s looking away when he answers, “I know,” Sapnap’s silence forces Karl to look him in the eyes. Karl’s quieter this time, “I know, thank you.” He smiles and it feels deceptive but Sapnap doesn’t call him out on it.
After that Sapnap leaves it alone. Karl’s grateful that Sapnap can read him well enough to know when to drop things, even if it makes him feel way too visible at times. Someone should have warned him that being friends with Sapnap means you’ll have to deal with him being stupidly observant, and then stupidly nice about it.
The rest of the time they spend at the coffee shop is surprisingly productive. It’s easy to relax and work side by side with Sapnap. Karl occasionally pokes Sapnap to bother him, and Sapnap draws little fires on his paper in return. It’s so simple and nice that Karl almost forgets about the flirting incident earlier. Almost.
There’s this inexplicable feeling of guilt making itself known in his stomach so on the way out Karl makes a decision he can’t say he’s sure is the right one. Sapnap is out the door already and Karl walks over to the counter, “Hey man,” he catches the attention of the barista, “I’m sorry about brushing you off earlier.”
The barista laughs, albeit awkwardly, “Oh it’s fine, I was intruding.”
“Yeah but I was being a bit of a chucklehead.”
The barista’s face turns from general uncomfort to amusement as he looks at Karl, “Chucklehead?”
“Yeah, chucklehead.”
Coffee guy hums, “I like it,” he reaches a hand over the counter, “I’m Cameron.”
Karl shakes Cameron’s hand. It’s warm and just a little bit rough. It feels like surrender and he doesn’t know why. The smile on Karl’s face is a liar and a good one, he doesn’t sound bitter when he responds with, “Karl. It’s nice to officially meet you,” Cameron nods and that could be the end of it but Karl’s kind and he still feels poorly about earlier, “By the way, do you have a piece of paper?”
Cameron finds a napkin and hands it to him, “Why?”
“Sapnap is single, this is his number,” Karl looks up and smirks, “You should call him some time.”
Cameron blushes and Karl could see him and Sapnap together. He may be straight, but he can admit they’d make a very attractive couple. Cameron has beautiful dark skin and brown eyes that are the type to make people want to do a double take. Karl thinks of how nice they looked together, even though the moment was brief, he feels like they complimented each other nicely. It makes him feel queasy for some baffling reason. Cameron pockets the napkin and looks very pleased, his small smile is gorgeous too, “Thanks man.”
“Just helping out a friend.”
Sapnap asks what took him so long, Karl answers honestly. Sapnap turns red as a tomato again and Karl laughs like a hyena as Sapnap desperately attempts to explain why he shouldn’t have done that. Karl doesn’t understand when Sapnap and Cameron look so cute together and he says as much. Sapnap finally stops trying to fight him on it.
They walk around, and grab lunch, and throw some coins into a wishing well. Karl stares at the surface of the water and he hears little kids screaming in a nearby food court and his mind is blank. He throws in a penny and the only thought in his head is how Sapnap’s waving his hands around as he attempts to explain how wishing wells are way more sinister than they seem. He’s so silly and Karl’s so lucky to have him. Sapnap walks him to the bus stop, Karl goes home and lies awake for a while. He briefly registers that skipped class that day, but he was too exhausted to pay attention anyway. It would be fine, he could ask a friend about what they did. He lets sleep gently take his hand and pull him into the vast expanse of vague shapes and ideas that live in his mind. His sleep is full of muddled dreams.
And then he doesn’t wake up the next morning. Not in a death way, at least he’s pretty sure he isn’t dead. It would be kind of strange if the afterlife was just some random day in the middle of April over and over again. The thing is yesterday was Tuesday and now it’s Tuesday again. It’s 7:27, Karl is in bed, and the jeans he’s pretty sure he put in the wash last night are somehow on his floor again. But that’s not possible. Days don’t repeat themselves, people don’t actually get stuck in time. Karl is just confused. Yesterday was actually Monday and he only thought it was Tuesday because of being hopped up on caffeine and sleep deprivation. The slight panic that was steadily building to an explosion subsides as Karl rationalizes that he can’t possibly be reliving the same day. This is just some insane deja vu. He texts Sapnap, they meet at the library, they go to the coffee shop, Karl meets Cameron again. Cameron doesn’t know who he is. He’s slowly starting to realize that this is a crazy lucid dream or Tuesday is repeating itself. He tries to wake himself up. It doesn’t work.
Karl Jacobs has a problem. It’s not a normal, oh no I forgot an assignment problem or I need to go buy more groceries problem. It’s the type of problem where he goes to sleep and then wakes up at 7:27 AM again and again and again, always on the same Tuesday. Now Karl’s experienced some shenaniganry in his life and he’s lived through his fair share of hijinks. He hasn't seen Groundhog Day, but he’s aware of the plot of all those time travel movies; nothing compares to actually living it. It’s all too lonely. He hasn’t seen Sapnap since the third Tuesday.
By the fifth Tuesday he finally starts to understand what a time loop really means. It finally dawns on him that, yes, Tuesday is repeating; and no, it shows no signs of stopping.
On the sixth he throws his alarm clock across the room.
On the seventh he drives for hours in a random direction and wakes up in his bed at 7:27 AM, again.
On the eighth he goes on a spending spree (all his money would be back in the morning anyways).
On the ninth, he decides to walk to the library to see Sapnap. Karl arrives an hour late and Sapnap is mad until he isn’t. Until Karl starts crying. His chest feels like a cheap piece of plastic that’s being broken open for the whole world to see. Sapnap’s arms are immediately around him and Karl is griping so tightly at the fabric of Sapnap’s sweatshirt it might rip. This time, instead of taking Karl to the coffee shop to meet Cameron, Sapnap takes him to the apartment he shares with Dream. He guides Karl to the couch and rubs his back and whispers soothing words until the tears on Karl’s face are mostly dried and Karl can talk without being interrupted by soggy hiccups.
“Karl,” Karl feels strangely happy to hear Sapnap say his name again, “Karl, what’s wrong?”
A laugh dislodges itself from Karl’s throat and forces its way out into the air. It’s more similar to a shriek because this entire situation is absolutely absurd. What in the world can he tell Sapnap? The reason he had a mental breakdown was because this is the ninth time he’s relived the same honking day? Certainly not, no one in their right mind would believe that. But Sapnap was there and he was always so understanding, and warm, and sweet. Karl could probably tell him, “You- you won’t believe me.”
Sapnap’s smile is a challenge, it makes Karl buzz, “Try me.”
And the floodgates open with the sound of an energy drinking cracking open, “I’m pretty sure I’m stuck in a time loop because I’ve lived this exact Tuesday nine times now,” Sapnap looks skeptical, Karl can’t blame him, “And- and before you say anything I know, I know that it sounds crazy but it’s true. I can prove it,” Karl takes a deep breath in, “The first time I lived this day it was honestly really normal. We met up at the library and got kicked out for noise and then you took me to this little hole in the wall coffee shop. There’s plants everywhere and a vending machine. I met Cameron, the barista. And then it happened again and I keep waking up on the same honking Tuesday and―”
Sapnap grabs Karl and hugs him. Karl realizes that there are fresh tears making his cheeks wet all over again, “I believe you, Karl. I believe you.” It means something more than Karl could ever describe with words. He can feel the steadiness that runs through Sapnap like blood, he can feel how utterly real Sapnap is. Floating through time, living the same day where no decision has any effect can make you feel untethered. But here Sapnap is, bringing him back down to earth. Karl didn’t realize it was possible to miss a person this much. (It was like a lover coming home after war, except it wasn’t because they weren’t. But the feeling was probably something similar; no, this was more.)
Karl’s crying even harder because this is good, this is progress and it’s better than he expected. He laughs and it’s watery, “I probably look like a mess right now.”
Sapnap pulls back and runs a thumb across Karl’s cheek, taking the tears away, “Nah,” his smile is soft but oh so genuine, “You look stunning Jacobs.” It’s half a joke and half an admission that slips out without Karl noticing.
Karl starts to giggle uncontrollably and he lets himself sink into Sapnap’s chest. He’s not ready to be apart from Sapnap yet. He felt solid for the first time in what seemed like weeks and he can’t let it slip away. Sapnap is gentle when he starts to run his hands through Karl’s hair, he’s humming some random tune. They cuddle on the couch as Sapnap tenderly holds Karl long enough for Karl to actually calm down. It's going to be ok because Sapnap believes him. Sapnap will help him. Karl is getting out of this.
“Alright,” an hour has passed, maybe two. Instead of cuddling on the couch, they are now hovered around the kitchen counter. Sapnap is grabbing out a paper and pen, “Alright, first thing we need to do is…” he trails off and Karl can see him struggling. It’s not his fault, who would actually know how to deal with a time loop?
“Well we probably don’t need to take notes,” Karl says as he fiddles with his nails. He wishes he could paint them different colors again. Well, he wishes he could paint them different colors and have it matter.
Sapnap rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah, probably not. But it might help us organize our thoughts,” he taps the pen to his temple and smiles. Karl smiles back. It’s short lived. Tension invades the room like an unwanted party guest, they don’t have much time.
Karl sighs and leans back in his seat, “I’d love to find a way to be able to, I don't know, continue to get you help with this even after the loop resets?”
Sapnap immediately brightens, “You’re a genius Karl!”
Karl sits up straight. Confusion is written on his face but seeing Sapnap practically jitter with excitement over a possible solution is getting his hopes up way more than he’d like to admit, “I am?”
“Yes!” Sapnap smiles wide and suddenly their faces are much closer than before, “I have a way that you can convince me of the time loop without, y’know―” He waves his hand around.
Karl laughs, “Breaking down and crying?”
Sapnap beams, “Exactly.”
Karl can’t help but laugh, “Ok? What's this million dollar idea?”
“We have a word!”
“I’m not following.”
“Next time you’re in the loop you ask me to think of a word, then every time after you’ll just have to remember the word and I’ll believe you,” Karl picks at his nails, everlasting polish on everlasting hands. If he doesn’t get out he wouldn’t age. Is everyone that he loves continuing their lives without him right now? But that wouldn’t make sense because Sapnap is here, in this loop with him, in a way. Is he keeping Sapnap trapped reliving but never remembering this stupid Tuesday? Is the whole world held hostage in endless Tuesdays? “Then you can briefly fill me in on everything we’ve figured out up until that point and I can keep helping you even if I don’t remember.”
Sapnap’s energy is intoxicating. His confidence, his conviction, his belief in them, his belief in Karl. It’s impossible to not go along with it, and honestly, it’s the first time Karl has a real plan (or at least part of one). He nods, “Yeah, yeah. That might just work.”
Sapnap grabs his hands. He’s hot-blooded and intense. It’s warming Karl to his core, “We’re getting you out of this,” Karl’s cheeks hurt from smiling and he drops his head onto Sapnap’s shoulder.
Everything feels loud even though it’s quiet in the kitchen (not silent, Karl can still hear the hum of the TV and the small groaning noises of the apartment, the tap that drips occasionally). Karl whispers, “I believe you.”
The word that Sapnap so brilliantly comes up with the next Tuesday is cattywampus. Honking cattywampus. (Sapnap ends up creating a second set of words, orange juice. Apparently he needs more than one correct guess to believe). Karl laughs and it gets them kicked out of the library, again. Similar but different. Sapnap almost takes them to the coffee shop but Karl steers him in the direction of either of their apartments instead. His reasoning is that talking about time loops in a public place isn’t the best idea. Truthfully, he doesn’t want to watch Sapnap and Cameron flirt with each other all over again.
Karl starts to keep a list in his mind. Things to try, things that have failed, reasons he might be stuck in the loop. So far, Sapnap has made him recount the entire original Tuesday twice. Karl feels like it might become a trend. He’s on his thirteenth Tuesday now and his head is resting on Sapnap’s lap as they throw ideas out into the air.
“It could be the wishing well,” Karl drags Sapnap’s hands so he can fiddle with them. He doesn’t like looking at his nailpolish anymore, it reminds him that he’s still stuck.
“It’s not the wishing well,”
Sapnap’s hands are surprisingly smooth, “But it could be.”
Karl sighs, “It definitely isn’t.”
“Well then what” Sapnap’s hands raise up in the air, “Aliens?”
Karl laughs and grabs his hands again, “Stop moving your hands so much,” Sapnap puts them down again, “And it’s probably not aliens either. Aliens aren’t real.”
“Well time loops weren’t real until this morning.”
Karl hums, “I guess. But I still don’t think aliens are real.”
Sapnap laughs loudly, “To be fair, they are real.”
“If you’re talking about little microbes on far away planets, then yeah, aliens are real.”
“You are so dumb,” There’s no venom in his words and Sapnap is looking at Karl like he’s the most precious thing in the world. Like he’s light. Karl doesn’t understand how someone like Sapnap, who is brighter than the sun, could see Karl like that.
They stare at each other until Karl breaks away and fiddles with Sapnap’s hands more intensely, “I want to paint your nails.”
Sapnap smirks, looking slightly uncomfortable, “Fine, but only because I won’t remember,” And then his face shifts and morphs and ends with him looking like he figured something out. Karl doesn’t understand but Sapnap’s effortless lightheartedness is gone and he’s more tense. Maybe he feels bad about talking about not remembering? He knows this is hard for Karl, he probably feels bad. Yeah, he just feels guilty.
Sapnap is still acting weird, hours later, after his nails have been painted black. He’s already picking at them. He’s more fidgety and Karl is starting to feel anxious, “Is something wrong?” Sapnap’s lost in his own head but he looks Karl dead in the eyes. They’re full of emotion and worry. His face is flushed. And the dam breaks.
“I love you.”
Karl knows it’s something more. He knows that it’s not meant in a platonic way. And he feels guilty when he feigns ignorance, “Yeah, dude. I love you too.”
Karl’s heart breaks when Sapnap leans back and sucks in a distressed breath, “Not like that Karl,” Karl’s waiting for it, he doesn’t want this. He’s straight and Sapnap is his best friend. Karl can’t bring himself to break his heart. “I’m in love with you.”
“Oh.”
Sapnap purses his lips, “Oh.”
Karl looks away. This is horrible, he can’t handle a time loop and rejecting Sapnap. He doesn’t want to turn him down, “Sapnap, you know I’m- I’m not...”
Sapnap looks away, his face is red, in a bad way, “I know, I know,” his voice is shaky. Karl wants to reach out and touch him, to comfort him. It would probably just make things worse, “I just had to tell you. I needed you to know and now because of the time loop, I won’t remember the rejection,” His smile is so obviously fake, “Great, right?”
No. It’s not great. It’s terrible because Karl will be left alone with a mess of emotions and the knowledge that when- if he escapes this time loop, he will have to reject Sapnap one day. “Yeah, great.”
They’re both looking away from each other and Sapnap take a deep breath, “Anyway, tonight I think you should try staying up past midnight, if that isn’t something you’ve already tried,” Karl couldn’t sleep now if he wanted to and he had tried waiting out the night until the next day before. He had snapped awake in his bed at 7:27 the minute the day changed, “I know it might be harder than normal because you were exhausted today, but I think it’s worth a shot.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Karl’s distant. He’s a million miles away. He half wants the loop to reset at this very moment, he half wants this to be the last night. Force both himself and Sapnap to deal with the damage of a rejection. He doesn’t want to be alone.
“I can stay up with you if you want.”
Karl looks at him. He doesn’t want to ask that of Sapnap, but Sapnap is offering. It feels cruel, but Sapnap is acting like everything is normal. It’s not fair to either of them. It’s selfish of Sapnap to confess, knowing he will forget. But it’s selfish of Karl to want Sapnap to still act the same even though he is certainly breaking. Karl knows he’s taking advantage of Sapnap’s love, but he really needs his best friend right now, “Like how I stayed up with your mom?” Sapnap scoffs and pushes his shoulder slightly. It’s almost normal in that second, before it’s quiet again.
Karl ends up on the couch, his head on Sapnap’s shoulder, their hands resting on each other. They’re tangled together and, for the first time in their friendship, Karl feels mean.