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It is safe to say that Tim had been through a lot. Like an insane amount that wasn't safe for anyone to have to deal with, let alone someone who had already had his fair share of 'too-much-for-the-normal-person' moments and who, conveniently, didn't know how to cope.
When Tim lost Conner, he had lost a lot. He had trouble getting through life, but at least he had found a rhythm. He had gotten into a routine of going to Kon's grave, talking to him.
It obviously wasn't the same as talking to Kon for real, how Tim desperately wanted to, but Tim had made it his new normal.
That and trying exactly 99 times to clone his dead best friend. Something that, deep down, okay, not even that deep, he knew Conner wouldn't approve of.
Tim knew that if Kon were here, he would be mad. Like really mad.
But for some reason, Tim couldn't bring himself to care that it was wrong.
And for that, Tim hated himself.
But after numerous failures, and many much-too-emotional talks with his brothers, he'd stopped.
Then life had to go on and see how much more it could fuck Tim over.
The universe went out of its way to continue to take from Tim, take things he cared about.
You see, Kon was just the start, a very important start, but Tim could only lose so much.
Now Bart was dead. Cassie was dead. Bruce was dead. Or he wasn't.
He was gone, not dead. But no one believed him.
Tim didn't understand how everyone else could give up that easily.
Even worse, the main thing that was helping him to have any sort of grasp of life was being Robin.
Yeah, it wasn't the best way to cope, maybe one of the worst, but it was how Tim chose to deal with things.
And Dick, the closest thing he had to a father figure and his actual brother, had decided to take that away from him and give it to- give it to Damian.
Realistically, he knew that this wasn't meant to be a punishment it was supposed to be a compliment. Or, Dick's version of one.
Tim understood that Dick couldn't handle being Robin, with being in Bruce's shadow, the arguing, the wondering if there was more, Tim understood why Dick became Nightwing.
But that wasn't what he wanted for himself. He would have been perfectly content to be Robin for the foreseeable future.
Dick wanted Tim to go out and find his thing, what made him happy, to create an identity that matched his own. Dick just wanted Tim to be happy.
It was because of that that Tim would forgive Dick. Just not right now.
Right now, Tim needed someone to be mad at, so he chose Dick, Damian, and the universe.
Tim had, as he probably should've expected, felt better after becoming Red Robin.
While it wasn't far off from his previous identity, he did enjoy not having to take orders from Bruce 24/7.
Bruce, who was back at the manor with the rest of the family, on his last day of mandatory rest enforced by Alfred and Dick.
Cassie had come back. It had been an experience. She was back to her normal soon after.
Next had been Bart. And Tim, he wouldn't deny it, let himself hope. He watched Jaime get his whole world back after mourning during the time Bart was gone.
The two had been reunited and able to easily fall back into love, though Tim would guess that neither of them had really fallen out.
Tim wasn't even asking for true love, he wasn't asking for the impossible, at least in his line of work, coming back to life wasn't impossible.
Basically, everyone around him got their loved ones back, not that Tim wasn't happy about Cassie and Bart, but Tim wanted, at this point, honestly needed Kon back.
As usually these days, Tim's thoughts were crowded with Kon.
Obviously, Tim knew that Kon was important to him while he was alive, but he was starting to question if he fully understood the extent that his life revolved around Kon.
Even things that had nothing to do with Conner seemed harder to do.
Tim decided to clear his mind by going on patrol.
He had tried to break the habit of overworking himself with Red Robin duties in order to cope, but again and again, it was a constant, something to make himself feel better.
Almost like an addiction. Tim guesses it's a Bat Family thing.
Tim loves the feeling of knowing that he's done something.
Knowing that he didn't sit somewhere by himself and grieve, or spend his time hoping for things that he knew he couldn't have.
Well, he's still doing that but now he's multitasking.
He's about to call it a night when he sees movement in the corner of his eye.
He turns quickly only to be met with a chest in front of him. A chest that's adorned with a black shirt and Superman's S as well as a leather jacket that he'd recognize anywhere.
Tim darts his head up quicker than he realized he could. He just stared at the face in front of him.
A face that couldn't possibly be real.
"Kon?" Tim's voice broke and he contemplated taking a step back but didn't.
This could be a trap, but Tim felt that it'd be worth it.
"Yeah, it's me, Wonder Boy," Conner looked like he wanted to step forward, but he ultimately decided not to push it.
"Conner, is it really you? Say something that only you'd know."
Conner thinks for a second before leaning close to Tim's ear, Tim didn't even flinch.
"It's really me, Tim. I promise."
Tim contemplates for a minute. "Anyone could come up with a first name, I'm gonna need a little more proof."
"Fine by me," Conner says, and pokes Tim's side, right under his ribs where Kon knows Tim's the most ticklish.
Tim lets out a little squeel before throwing himself into Kon, wrapping his arms around his torso and burring his head in his chest.
"Oh my God, it's really you, Clone Boy."
Kon wraps his arms around Tim in return. After Tim doesn't let go Kon speaks.
"Tim? Buddy? If you're trying to be all dark and grim now, this isn't going to help."
"Shut up."
In the first few days after Conner's return, Tim spent his time waiting for Kon to get back from Smallville.
Realistically, Tim knew he shouldn't, couldn't, be mad at Kon for going to see the people who raised him, but Tim felt like he hadn't gotten a moment alone with his recently-back-from-the-dead best friend since the first night. Then again, Kon had come to him first so he had no place to complain.
That being said, when Kon did come back, the team went out for food and then helped Kon get comfortable at the tower.
Finally, a week after Kon's return, Tim got a moment alone with him.
Tim knocked on Kon's door and the moment that the door opened, Tim had his arms around Kon's middle, his head pressed against Kon's chest.
"Hey, Tim. What're you doing?"
Tim's response was muffled in Kon's shirt.
"What?"
Tim turns his head to the side a bit more. "I'm listening to your heartbeat."
Kon awkwardly moves back to let the door close, Tim moving with him.
"Okayyyyyy. Why are you listening to my heart?"
Tim sighs, shifting back, letting his arms drop.
"I needed to remind myself that you are still here."
Kon's expression softens and he wraps his arms around Tim.
"I'm alive; I'm right here."
Tim sniffs, but he doesn't dare let any tears fall.
"I know. But at the same time, I don't. Sorry for making your life even more complicated. I'm sure you just want to relax. I'll go," Tim attempts to move back, out of the hug but Kon tightens his arms.
When Tim continues to struggle, Kon taps into his super-strength.
Finally, Tim sits still. "You're using your powers. That's not fair."
"I think anything is fair when it comes to this."
"What's this?" Tim asks, sniffing, but again, not letting a single tear fall.
"That's partially up to you. But from my point of view, you lost another person in your life that was important to you, said person being me, and it hurt you. You got lucky; hence me standing here right now, hugging you, and you don't want to let yourself believe that anything good could possibly happen to you."
Conner shifts, releasing his death grip on Tim slightly. "But hey, that's just my guess after having been one of the closest people to you before I died. You can always go ask one of your brothers or something."
Tim is silent for a moment before he takes in a deep breath. "No, I think that I agree with what you said, I just don't want to accept it." Tim moves back from the hug, instead, grabbing Kon's wrists, placing his fingers over the pulse point.
Tim looks up, directly into Kon's eyes. "When you were gone..." Tim takes a breath, preparing himself. "When you were gone, it put me in a very bad place. I know you didn't choose to die, but I spent too much time thinking about it. All of the death around me affected me too much, but yours consumed everything in my life."
Tim squeezed Kon's wrists a bit.
"All I could think about was how I'd trade places with you in a split second. Then when I realized that that wasn't a possible option, I seriously considered suicide. Considered joining you and Bart and Cassie. At the time, it seemed like a great idea. Obviously, it doesn't seem smart now, but that's how much you mean to me. It's crazy how I'd die for you, but I don't care."
Tim didn't break eye contact until Kon tugged him into a hug, Kon's tears finally causing Tim's tears to fall.
"I didn't know about any of that, I'm so sorry. But I'm here now. I promise."