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At the border of the Land of Fire there are the remnants of an ambush. Trees bigger than any building in Konoha, scored by kunai and explosions, have fallen. The ground is cracked and broken and burned from the barrage of paper bombs that rained down in this area just hours ago.
A shinobi lies in the dark underneath the rumble. Consciousness comes back to him in waves, a few seconds of awareness at a time. Nothing significant enough to lead to thought.
The seconds become minutes and his sense of self returns. He knows who he is, and is aware of his body in space. This awareness only leads to disorientation and confusion. His head is pounding. His ears ring.
“Where am I?”
The air is too thick, stale. He tries to gulp air, but his mouth fills with dirt, making him cough and spit. He can’t move. He struggles under debris, his straightjacket of broken earth.
“I am underground? No… Not underground, but buried!”
His body panics, shaking with adrenaline. He needs fresh air! His mind is not in control when his fists punch up through the debris. His will to survive is reflexive. Following his hand, he crawls out of a would-be grave and lays his chest over the scorched earth.
His awareness of the situation increases with every second. The events that led him to circumstances of the present return him in flashes in his mind's eye.
He attempts to lift his head to scan the area for signs of his teammates but is interrupted by a rush of pain throughout his body. It’s excruciating. His whole body aches with fatigue while sharp pains from various injuries arise. He stops and takes inventory.
“Left arm. Right pointer and middle finger. Several ribs. Small bone in the right foot, all broken. I probably have a concussion too...I am broken but alive!”
Staring at the ground beneath his face he tries to remember more. He interviews himself about the events of the night.
“How am I alive?”
He isn’t sure but the state of his body tells him that he must have opened at least three, maybe more, of the eight chakra gates. However, he has no memory of the events that have led him here.
Gai closes his eyes and inhales deeply, sensing for chakra signatures.
“Nothing? I’m alone.”
He furrows his brow as he tries to think of the last thing he can remember. He can only see pieces in the fog of his mind.
“Genma and Ebisu laughing around the fire?... A map to the Land of Waves… Kakashi?”
By the look of the environment he estimates he is a ways, possibly days, from the village. What happened is in the past. What matters now is getting home!
As the sun breaks against the horizon, ushering in a new day, Gai proclaims with the might of 100 men, “I will make it back to the village that is my promise to myself! If my legs fail me, I will use my hands. If my hands fail me, I will crawl with my elbows. If my elbows fail me, I will slither home like a snake. I will not fail, I AM MAITO GAI!”
The wounded and broken shinobi sets off on an impossible journey.
—
Against all odds, Gai arrives at the village gates. He laughs to himself in feverish joy.
“Yosh! I have proven myself as a survivalist and a shinobi. TO MY TRIUMPHANT RETURN!”
Unfortunately, no one is there to celebrate Gai’s personal victory. The village is quiet. There are no guards at the entrance and no one on the street. He has no idea what time it is, just that it’s late when he walks down the familiar streets of his childhood. All the shops are closed, no lights on in the windows of apartment buildings that create the modest skyline of the Konoha.
When he turns the corner he sees the light to Kakashi’s apartment burn bright. It’s the only one in the whole apartment building that is still on.
“KAKASHI! My rival. He can’t sleep...again.”
Gai rolls his eyes and shakes his head at the thought. He glances up at the window a second time. His journey back has only worsened his injuries; it would be prudent to go to the hospital right away.
But the light from the apartment seems to increase in intensity. It is probably just his tired mind playing tricks on him, but he swears the light is calling to him like a siren in the ocean drawing him in. The adrenaline from his ordeal is still coursing through his veins allowing him to cope with his injuries. The hospital can wait; first he wants to pay a visit to his rival.
Knock… Knock. Knock.
His typical rhythmic knock is disrupted by injury and exhaustion. He hears Kakashi stir in the small apartment through the thin walls.
“Go away!” Kakashi hisses from the other side of the door.
“Oh Rival! You can’t get rid of me that easily,” Gai responds, almost drunkenly. He never really shook the state of confusion from when he woke up this morning. Silence looms on the other side of the door and he begins to worry.
“Why is he being stubborn? I come over all the time. Is he going to deny his Rival a visit? Sure he will act like this is an imposition, a minor annoyance… Maybe it’s because we kissed and he didn’t like the kiss. He didn’t like it, damn. I really liked it! That is unimportant now...Maybe he didn’t hear me--”
“KAKASHI!” Gai bangs on the door again in no audible pattern. Suddenly, he hears the chaotic shuffling of his Rival rushing to the door. The lock clicks and the door swings open at the speed of light. The abrupt haste shocks Gai but he is pleased that his performance yielded the desired result.
Standing in the doorway is Kakashi, staring him down, his eye puffy and bloodshot. Kakashi had definitely been crying. His silver hair is messy, held back from his face by his headband.
“You’ve been crying--” Gai says as Kakashi unexpectedly lunges forward, pulling Gai into a hug and into the apartment. Completely caught off guard, Gai falls into Kakashi, letting him bare all his weight. He’s too weak to resist. He wouldn’t even if he could.
The long arms of his beloved rival wrap around his body, squeezing him tightly. The embrace hurts his broken body but nourishes his weary spirit. He doesn’t want him to let go.
“I missed you too Rival…”
His body reacts to the pain, despite the wishes of his mind, wincing and letting out a small whimper. Kakashi immediately lets go and takes a step back, eyeing the state of Gai’s body.
“How badly are you hurt?” he questions Gai in a serious tone. Gai recognizes Kakashi is uninterested in Gai’s own assessment of his injuries and will come to his own conclusions through observation alone.
Kakashi looks him up and down, inspecting every centimeter of his body, pausing at obvious injuries as if he is making a mental log. Gai, in contrast to Kakashi’s tone, playfully complies with his inspection by holding out his arms, exposing himself to Kakashi’s meticulous gaze.
When Kakashi finally meets Gai’s eyes with his own, Gai responds to Kakashi’s inquiry with a smile and his double thumbs up, “Nothing my amazing body can’t heal in a few weeks, Rival.”
Kakashi grimises at his remark but makes no attempt to debate the matter. However, he catches Gai off guard by scooping him up and carrying into his small bathroom, as if over the threshold.
“Rival!?” Gai protests.
“Why haven’t you gone to the hospital?” Kakashi cuts in as he sets Gai down on the edge of the bathtub and starts the tap.
“How hypocritical of you, Rival! You NEVER willingly go to the hospital,” Gai counters without answering the question. He can’t answer the question. He doesn’t know why he didn’t go straight to the hospital and was so intent on a late night visit.
But Gai had a feeling, indescribable, that he needed to come here first. That it was important, for some reason, to visit his Rival and bask in his veiled affections. Or maybe, it was as simple as him being an impatient man, and wanting to spare no more time in ending the agony of hearing Kakashi’s feelings about the night they kissed.
Kakashi does not wait for an answer to his question before standing up and leaving the bathroom. He yells back, “Your wounds are going to get infected if you don’t wash off that dirt… Strip and get in the tub!” His tone is still serious and sharp.
“Oof! What has gotten into him?”
Gai can’t put his finger on it. Something about Kakashi’s behavior, his quiet expressions barely noticeable through his mask, were off. He relents and does what he's told. But it is easier said than done. Due to his injuries he is only able to get one of his sandals off before Kakashi comes back with a towel and a set of clothes.
Seeing Gai struggling in his current condition, a broken arm clinging to his side as he tries to bend gently at the waist so as to not enrage a set of broken ribs, Kakashi lets out a sympathetic sigh. He sets the clothes aside without hesitation and kneels at his rival’s feet, carefully helping him out of his other sandal.
Once the sandal is tossed to the side, Kakahi stands and gestures to Gai’s intensely green jumpsuit, stained with blood, ash, and dirt. The two men make eye contact and pause in brief stare down. Never having been ashamed of nudity, especially his own, Gai clumsily shifts on the edge of the tub to let Kakashi help him out of his spandex.
Kakashi’s slender fingers continue to undress Gai with tender care. Unzipping the back of his jumpsuit and slowly pulling the fabric away from Gai’s raw skin. Anywhere Gai have been cut, the clotted blood glued the material to the wound. Gai purses his lips and focuses on the imperfections in the old linoleum floor as Kakahshi moves through the motions of undressing his rival like he’s performing surgery.
With his suit and briefs around his ankles, Gai feels unfamiliarly bashful about his state of undress. He blushes a little, covering his more intimate details with his hand.
It’s not like Gai had never been naked in front of Kakashi. They had been on missions together countless times. It was a part of being a shinobi, you eventually ended up having to change, bath, or dress an unfortunate wound in front of your teammates. Tonight it was different, more intimate somehow.
Kakashi pulls Gai’s clothes the rest of the way off and throws them in a pile in the corner. “Get in,” Kakashi pointed to the tub, now full of steamy warm water.
With Kakashi’s aid, Gai gingerly slides into the tub. Pulling his knees to his chest, he watches Kakashi gather up his clothes and shoes.
“Ha. I see you. You can’t fool me Rival. Behind your cold exterior is a very kind and sentimental person.”
“I am going to take these down to the laundry. Wash up, okay?” Kakashi relays, already on his way out, heading toward the apartment laundry.
Gai sits in his best friend's bathtub and lets the dirt and blood soak off of him. For the first time he gets to see how bad his injuries are. And they are bad. He has gashes and burns in his flesh he was previously unaware of and his broken foot and arm are swollen stiff.
He continues to try to put the pieces together in his mind, but his memory seems worse now than it did almost 24 hours ago. His head stuck in an endless fog.
“Genma and Ebisu… and I, on a mission. Yes, what mission? How did I get to Kakashi’s apartment?”
Still waiting, listening for the apartment doorknob to turn, Gai tries to finish his bath. He inspects the only two products that sit on the corner of the tub: a bar of soap and an unscented economical brand of shampoo.
“Rival… This explains so much. No wonder your hair is so unruly!”
He manages, with great effort, to wash his face and body with the simple soap bar. For the life of him, he can’t lift his broken arm up high enough to wash his hair.
“Oh well,” he grumbles to himself.
“It would have been nice to have clean hair.”
“Oh well what?” The voice startles him. He didn’t hear his rival come back. Kakashi pushes open the bathroom door with his eye cast down on the floor. “You good?” He asks.
Gai pauses.
“It’s fine. You can live with gross hair for a night! Don’t ask him—“
“Do you need something?” Kakashi presses, bringing his eye up to cast a delicate but stern look at Gai.
“Ahh. No. I just can't wash my hair. I think my arm is broken and—“ before he can finish his statement, Kakashi is kneeling on the floor at the edge of the tub, angling himself just behind Gai.
“Give it here,” Kakashi gestures to the shampoo sitting on the far side of the tub. Gai hands it over without protest.
Kakashi sets the shampoo on the floor beside him and pulls the shower arm off the wall. He turns on the tap, wiggling his fingers under the spray until he is satisfied with the temperature. He sprays the warm water over Gai’s head and gently combs Gai’s hair with his fingers, playing through little tangles as he goes. To Gai, the sensation is calming and intense at the same time.
“Why did you come here tonight?” Kakashi asks earnestly.
“I was drawn here by my desire for your company. I needed to see my Rival before anything else.”
“I don’t know,” Gai responds with a half-truth.
Kakashi turns off the tap and squirts a dollop of shampoo into the palm of his hand. The noise the shampoo bottle makes as it dispenses soap makes Gai giggle a little. It breaks the intense intimacy of the moment, a small relief.
He catches a glimpse of Kakashi smiling underneath his mask in response to his giggle through the corner of his eye. He doesn’t dare turn and look Kakashi in the face, instead he stares ahead at the off-white tiles that line the wall in front of him.
He feels his rival’s nimble fingers graze across the top of his hairline, starting to massage in the shampoo.
In unison, firm pinky fingers press up and around his ears toward the back of his head as the rest of the fingers spread the suds across his scalp. In a fluid motion, Kakashi runs fingers up the nape of his neck and through his hair, against the growth pattern. The move sends a shiver down his spine and makes his muscles tense before releasing into a deeply relaxed state.
“How did you get back to the village?” Kakashi probes.
“I just thought about all the important things waiting for me back at the village. Important people like you. After that, the journey was not so insurmountable.”
“I walked. It was hard but I AM MAITO GAI!” Gai throws his fist in the air and flings water out of the tub.
“Stop!” Kakashi lets out a frustrated puff of air as he grabs Gai’s arm, pulling it back down.
Kakashi runs his hand, soapy with shampoo, up Gai’s arm to head, supporting the weight of Gai’s skull with a cupped hand. Gai leans his head back into Kakashi’s hands and closes his eyes. He is lost in the euphoria of gentle fingers drawing little circles into his scalp. Thumbs massage the little muscles that attach to the base of his skull and run down to his shoulders. His muscles relax into the pressure and his mind quiets to the sounds of flesh rubbing flesh.
The tap turning back on startles Gai. He flickers his eyes open as his hair is rinsed clean.
“Done,” Kakahsi states in an unsurprising monotone, mood unaltered by the preceeding moments.
Gai attempts to speak but his vocal cords feel tangled. With a quick throat clearing grumble, Gai thanks Kakashi for his kind gesture, “Ah, thank you Rival for your compassion toward me in my unfortunate state.”
“It’s no big deal Gai,” Kakashi shrugs as he stands and reaches for the towel he set aside a while ago. With the towel in one hand, he offers assistance in helping Gai out of the bath. Gai accepts, knows he will never leave the bath without a helping hand.
The moments that follow are uncomfortable, at least for Gai. “Rival! I got it. I can make it from here,” Gai pulls the towel from Kakashi’s hand in an attempt to regain his modesty and composure. Kakashi obliges him but doesn’t let his grip on Gai’s arm go until he is safely seated on the tubs edge once more.
Kakashi takes the pile of clothes--the baggiest t-shirt he owns to fit over Gai’s broad shoulder and a pair of sweatpants that were going to fit Gai like highwaters--and plops them in Gai’s lap.
“I’ll make some tea. Yell if you need me to come back,” Kakashi instructs as he leaves the monochrome room.
It takes Gai a ridiculous amount of time to dry himself and get dressed. He should have let Kakashi help him, but after having his hair washed, oh so thoroughly he might add, his precious rival had left him feeling a lot of ways. Some of those ways drew his blood away from his brain and it was really all too much for the present situation.
He finally emerges from the bathroom, almost dressed. He only got one arm through a sleeve while in the bathroom, the other now rests against his body underneath the t-shirt.
He finds Kakashi on the floor at his small round chabudai, sipping from a mug that looks like it might have been stolen from a restaurant. Across from him sits a mug, of an entirely different style, full of tea for Gai.
“Wow, he had two clean mugs… Hmmm. No, he probably pulled both of them from the dirty dishes in the sink, seconds ago, and washed them just for this.”
As Gai bends to sit, Kakashi jumps to his feet, grabbing a firm hold on Gai’s good arm to help lower him to the ground. Gai takes the opportunity to openly struggle to get his arm through the sleeve of his shirt, allowing Kakashi to help him, once more.
Kakashi continues his incredibly gentle interrogation, “How did you survive the bombing?”
“Not everyone you care about dies in the end--THE WHAT?”
“Sorry Rival, the bombing?” Gai is confused, he doesn’t remember a bombing, but it would have explained the state of the battlefield he woke up in the morning.
“Yes. The paper bomb. Genma and Ebisu reported that you were ambushed and there was a series of paper bombs. You have been reported dead,” Kakashi informs him, coldly.
“Well Rival, I don’t remember the last 24 hours very well. I must have hit my head,” Gai says calmly before erupting into absolute panic, “WAAAIT! EVERYONE THINKS I AM DEAD?!” Gai almost knocks the table over as he flails his limbs, struggling to tuck his feet under him to stand.
“Stop!” Kakashi barks again, “You are going to hurt yourself.”
A frantic voice in Gai’s head urges him to fix this mistake. Right the wrong and reveal what was actually true.
“Yosh! I must relay the news of my living immediately! The Hokage must be informed...and Genma and Ebisu… Kurenai and Asuma… I must go now.”
Gai stands in one swift motion, sending pain jolting through his body. It doesn’t phase him, a shot of adrenaline courses through his veins once more.
“What are you doing?” Kakashi asks, shocked by Gai’s sudden burst of ability.
“Thank you for everything Rival. The bath, the tea, and… all of it. But I need to inform the Hokage of my miraculous survival! I will return as soon as my obligation is complete, ” Gai shouts as he starts to hobble toward the door.
“Gaaai,” Kakashi shakes his head with a frustrated smile. “You're not going to make it to the Hokage’s office by yourself,” he comments as he sits watching Gai struggle at the door to put on shoes. “It’s too late anyway. No one will be there.”
“Gai?” he raises his eyebrows at Gai.
“Gai.”
“Gai!--”
“Rival, I am leaving as soon as I can get my shoes on. Nothing can stop me!” Gai confidently states, still struggling with the shoes.
“Those are mine,” he points at the sandals, one of which Gai is trying to force on to his foot, obviously too small.
Gai stops and stares at the sandals in frustration. With a snort he begins to look wildly around for his own sandals. He pouts, and didn't know where Kakashi had put them, “Rival?”
“Come back and finish your tea,” Kakashi orders,“please.”
“Everyone thinks I am dead. Genma and Ebisu couldn’t find me and thought I had died in battle?”
Gai gives a disgruntled huff before hobbling back, plopping down on the ground before Kakashi can help him land softly. Kakashi gives him a look of pure concern for his condition. Gai finds it unsettling.
Then it hits him. All the pieces come into focus in his mind, Kakashi’s appearance when he arrived and his odd behavior.
“Kakashi thought…”
Gai’s expression holds deep sadness when he speaks again, “You thought I was dead.”
Kakashi, who had moved closer toward Gai, whispers with hurt in his voice, “Yes.” Then, with a faint smile, barely noticeable behind his mask, he adds, “But you’re alive.”
Before the moment could turn completely somber, Gai breaks into laughter that reverberates on the walls of the small room. “I am alive!” he softly shouts.
The laughter is contagious and Kakashi’s faint smile broadens and breaks into breathy laughs. “You’re alive,” he echoes Gai with less intensity.
The two men finish their tea in a warm silence.
Placing his empty mug into the pile of dishes in the sink, Kakashi lets out a breath he had been holding in a while. “It’s late. You can rest here and I will take you to the hospital in the morning,” he announces, making his way to the futon tucked away in the corner of the small apartment.
“Who are you?” Gai questions with a laughable seriousness, studying his rival as he makes the bed.
With a practiced eye roll Kakashi gives Gai’s question no mind, “You need to rest.”
“This is not like you,” Gai notes as he crawls over to the bed and scooches in-between the sheet and the duvet in accordance with Kakashi’s unspoken direction.
“I know my supposed death must have hit him hard, but I didn’t expect...this much openness.”
“Hmmm. What is not like me?” He takes a spot on his side next to Gai on top of the duvet - it serves as a pillowy barrier between their bodies - and props his head up on his elbow to look his rival straight on. He listens to Gai’s answer intently.
“All of this… Washing my hair, making me tea, the way you are looking at me right now,” Gai’s confusion only grows as Kakashi brushes stray strands of his raven hair into place. “That! What was that?”
“I’m just fixing your hair,” Kakashi states ever so casually. “I won’t do it if you don’t like it.”
“No-- I mean...I don’t mind it,” he is nervous that he will say the wrong thing.
Before Gai can question his rival’s actions more, Kakashi stops him, “I am a lot of bad things, Gai. I am a thief. I am a killer. Most of all I am a liar. I have lied about my feelings for you. I have shot you down and ignored you so I wouldn't have to face my true desires.” Kakashi sits up and looks away from Gai before he continues, “When I thought you were gone forever, I swore if I could go back in time I would have done things differently. But now, with my wish for a second chance granted, I am still scared...”
Gai can hear Kakashi’s voice shaking. He wants to reach out and touch him, but doesn’t. Gai's expression tightens as his brain frantically works out which of the complex emotions to show.
Unexpectedly, Kakashi scoots closer to Gai and pulls down his mask.
“Oh? Are we going to--”
Kakashi capture’s Gai’s lips with his mouth and begins kissing him tenderly. Gai’s eyes widen with shock and a tiny gasp escapes when their lips touch. Kakashi lifts his hand to gently cradle Gai’s head, manipulating Gai’s head to match the movements of his lips.
Gai melts into the kiss, letting Kakashi hold him and taste him with his probing tongue. His arms pucker with goosebumps due to the tenderness of the sensation. Just as the kissing intensifies, Gai panics and pushes Kakashi back.
The moment hangs. Kakashi stands up to turn off the lights.
Upon his return he slides under the duvet next to Gai, grabbing his hand and interlacing the fingers. Squeezing gently.
Just as Gai’s about to fall asleep he hears Kakashi whisper, “Gai?”
He doesn’t answer. He pretends to be asleep, too tired to start another conversation.
After a long pause Kakashi says, “I love you.”
“I love you too, Rival.”