Work Text:
In the warm light of noon, two teenagers lay sprawled on the floor, a mess of cards between them. These two were Ranpo Edogawa and Yosano Akiko, the sole members of the newly founded Armed Detective Agency. Work was slowing down as the day progressed toward its end, and so the youngsters were engaged in a round of Chaos Cards - a game invented by Ranpo which amalgamated at least five different popular card games together and was nearly impossible to play. Unless, of course, you were Ranpo himself.
"I thought I was supposed to go fish..." sighed the girl.
"You were, but I didn't have any threes, so now the cards in our other hand are supposed to do war." Ranpo rolled his eyes in a way that said this isn't that complicated.
Yosano groaned. "Fine. Where was my other hand?"
"We have to crack open another deck for that, silly. Now here is where this REALLY gets interesting-"
Fortunately, Yosano was saved from the torment that was Ranpo's definition of "interesting" by none other than Mr Fukuzawa opening a side door and entering the room.
"Good afternoon, you two," he said, peering into a small mirror on the wall to fix his scarf. "Having fun, I see?"
Ranpo answered before Yosano could, a satisfied smile on his face. "Oh yes sir! It's only a matter of time until miss Yosano comes to understand the wonder that is Chaos Cards."
"I...see." the older man said, a slightly pained expression on his face. No doubt he had been forced to endure many similar torments at the hands of his precocious young ward. "Ranpo, you do know not everyone enjoys the same things you do?"
"Oh, no, it's fine, really-" Yosano interjected, embarrassed.
Ranpo held up a hand to stop her. "Don't be stupid. I can tell when you're lying."
A tsk noise from the president. "Ranpo, that's impolite."
"Sorry." He dropped the cards in his hands and flopped over onto the floor. "You'll get it someday, Yosano, and then it won't be annoying for you." The girl just nodded, unsure how to respond.
She didn't have to, because Ranpo immediately picked up a different train of thought. "You're dressed to go out," he said to Mr Fukuzawa. It didn't take a master detective to figure that one out, but he was right nonetheless.
"I am," the older man replied. "I have to meet with a potential client to discuss his situation. Unless, of course, you'd rather go in my stead?"
Ranpo snorted. "That's funny, tell another one!"
"Hm. That's what I thought. And it's just as well," Mr Fukuzawa said, "as it's a rather unusual one. Has to do with some new gang of hooligans that specialize in drive-by shootings from a distance." He shook his head. "Another day, another criminal invention."
Ranpo piped up, "If the Agency does take the job, we'll catch them right away. Can I go take a walk outside and see what I hear about this?"
Mr Fukuzawa shook his head again and tossed Yosano the keys. "Lock up after me, child. And remember, caution never killed the cat."
"Yes sir."
The door shut. Yosano got up to lock it as Mr Fukuzawa had said, and Ranpo groaned. "That isn't even a real expression!"
The girl shrugged. "His intention was clear enough."
"Maybe to you, but to a master detective..."
She cast him a glance.
He burst out laughing. "Eheheh. Was worth a shot."
Yosano sat back down, bracing herself to return to Chaos Cards, but Ranpo seemed to have lost interest in the game. He was now scooping all the cards up off the floor, stacking them in his right hand as he did so. She allowed herself a sigh of relief; Ranpo laughed at this as he started mixing the cards.
"What are you doing?" She asked curiously.
"You'll see." He held the deck out to her. "Pick a card, any card."
Yosano complied. It was the jack of clubs.
"Now put it back," said Ranpo. When she did, he continued, "now I am going to guess not the card you looked at, but the card you were thinking of."
"What?" she narrowed her eyes. "That's impossible."
"Maybe to you, but not to me!" He grinned as he shuffled the cards without so much as looking at them." The card you were thinking of was...none."
The young girl finally broke into a smile. It was true. "Nothing gets past you."
Ranpo shrugged. "I could tell by your face, honestly."
"But how? I thought I kept it pretty neutral."
"You thought. And..." Ranpo set the cards down, got up, walked over to the windowsill, reached into the sewed bottom of one of the drawstring curtains and pulled out a card. The jack of clubs.
"...Here's the card you drew."
"Okay, that's impressive." Yosano searched the deck he'd left on the floor and found that the original Jack of Clubs was indeed missing from it, meaning Ranpo had pulled off yet another trick she couldn't wrap her head around. "How did you do it?"
The boy grinned and bowed with a dramatic flair. "A magician never reveals his secrets."
"Okay." Yosano folded her arms and looked at the floor.
"..."
Yosano knew that, deprived of the attention he expected to get, her companion would cave immediately.
She was right. Ranpo straightened and raised his arm. "BUT this is how I did it. First, every fifth card was-"
Suddenly, two shots rang out. Loud and clear and so horribly familiar that Yosano didn't even have to think to realize what the sound was. Window glass exploded everywhere at almost the exact same moment. The sound of a car driving off into the distance mingled with the bounce of a couple bullets on the floor. Neither had hit Ranpo, even though he'd been right in front of the now-blown-out window.
Too shocked to scream, she fixed her eyes on the boy.
He was frozen with his arm in the air, still holding the card. His other hand had flown up to his ear to protect him from the loud noise. There were tiny shards of glass in his hair and on his shoulders.
She could breathe again. "...You're okay..?" She asked.
Ranpo's eyes opened wide, like he'd just remembered something important. The jack of clubs fell from his grasp. He clutched his arm and crumpled to the floor, among the bits of glass. It was then that she noticed the dark patch blooming on his sleeve.
No, there were little dark patches everywhere. They'd been hard to notice originally, as Ranpo's shirt was black, but now it was as if he'd started bleeding everywhere in the time it took her to blink.
Yosano bit back a scream. Losing her control wouldn't help her, or Ranpo who was breathing strangely and looked to be in shock. She knelt down beside him, not caring about the bits of glass that dug into her knees. Frantically, she tore off a chunk of her thick skirt and wrapped it around his bleeding arm, pressing down with all the strength she could muster. Even in her panicked state, she automatically knew what had happened. The bullets had been deflected downward by the resistance of the window, but the shards of glass had injured him anyway, lodging themselves at random. His nerves were still in shock; he'd start to feel it within a minute more. Glass cuts tended to bleed a lot no matter how superficial the wound was, but the cut on his arm was anything but superficial. Judging by its position, it had nicked the brachial artery. A fatal injury. Even with her staunching the flow, Ranpo had a few minutes at best.
If she called an ambulance, their best would be too late. There was nothing she could do, except...
Except for the one thing she'd longed never to do again. The skill that had cheapened the thousands of precious lives that had once surrounded her. Her ability, Thou Shalt Not Die, that had ruined her childhood and branded her a war criminal. Yosano's hands shook. Letting Ranpo die was unthinkable. But so was using her ability. She couldn't. She couldn't, it wouldn't come to her, it wouldn't activate, she couldn't do this, she was going to die along with the boy who had saved her, she-
"Look. You don't have to... use it." Ranpo's weak voice called her back to reality. He seemed to have regained some control over his senses; the pain would hit him any moment now and he would die screaming. There was so much blood. He was looking up at her. He knew what she was thinking - of course he did. "I know I said...we don't want your ability...you don't have to," he said. He was fighting to stay awake. "I just..."
His eyes were so clear. His voice was almost completely flat, as if he was bored with the raging dilemma going on inside Yosano's soul.
"Oy. Can you hear me?" he said a little louder. "I said I just..." he made a face. "Eurgh, that stings, that really stings. Stop pressing so hard." He made a pained noise. "If you can't use your ability ...can you at least keep me alive til Mr Fukuzawa gets back?"
Her grip on the cloth loosened.
...This really doesn't matter at all to Ranpo, does it?
Something clicked inside her and suddenly she wasn't shaking anymore. She was furious.
"SHUT UP!" she yelled. "I'm not that damn selfish, I'm not!" With that, the old sensation of her ability activating washed over her for the first time in three years, as familiar as the last day she'd used it.
It was true, the Agency didn't want her ability - but there were people in it who were going to need it sometimes. Not greedy governments and heartless superiors, but good people with a precious life they wanted to hold on to. And she was the only one who could give it back to them. Given the choice, everything became simple and clear. She was saving lives again instead of cheapening them. Polishing a priceless jewel instead of being forced to sell it.
Scores of butterflies made of light and of nothing at all settled all over Ranpo's body. He wasn't going to die. She had decided that all on her own.
"Cool butterflies," the boy choked out, his eyes alight with wonder even as tears of pain had started streaming from them. "Fuck, this hurts. Can't you make them work faster?"
"Any second now." Yosano barely noticed the tears on her own face. "You're gonna be fine, asshole."
"I guess pretty really does hurt~ oh... it doesn't hurt so bad anymore." His eyelids slid shut with the relief her ability brought. Yosano nearly yelled at him to keep them open, to stay awake for her, but then she remembered that he was past harm now.
She had done this. And nothing bad had happened, instead everything good. She would've laughed with pure joy had she not been still wrecked from the past minutes.
"Yeah, it doesn't hurt at all now," Ranpo announced in as plain a voice as if he was reviewing some new flavor of chips.
Yosano gave a weak thumbs up. "That's good. We should get you somewhere more comfortable."
The boy wrinkled his nose and sat up gingerly. "Yeah, and new clothes. These things feel gross. In fact they're so sticky I might actually start screaming. Ew ew ew ew ew ew-"
"Oh Ranpo..." She swiped at her eyes, laughing, and ran off into the side room where she knew Mr Fukuzawa always kept a spare change of clothes. After rummaging through a couple cupboards to find it she came up with a shirt and pants. They were clearly too big for Ranpo, but he didn't care. He took them and headed to the bathroom with them, going "yuck yuck yuck" all the way. This refrain continued to be heard until (presumably) the blood-stained clothes had all come off.
Yosano wandered over to the supply closet and mechanically got out a broom and dustpan. She needed to clear away the glass shards that dotted the floor all over. The motion of sweeping spread Ranpo's blood around, making her wince, but it couldn't be helped. The blood could be dealt with later, glass had to be removed first. As she was still finishing up with that, Ranpo stepped out of the bathroom, wearing Fukuzawa's large clothes. Something warm and wistful stirred inside her because he was so obviously alive. Dead people did not wear their boss' clothes, neither did they wash up and change in the bathroom. Ranpo made his way over to the couch. It was thankfully far away enough from the window that it had remained glass free. He flopped onto it and groaned loudly.
"These pants are so itchy, I can't wait to go home. Yosano? Can we commandeer the company computer to watch a movie?"
Yosano leaned on her broom. "Sure. Just let me finish here."
"Ah, let me hold your dustpan."
"You don't have to-"
Ranpo had already gotten up and seized the plastic dustpan. Yosano gratefully swept the pile of glass into it, after which Ranpo emptied it into the dustbin. It took four repeats of this process for Ranpo to wail in frustration at the never-ending shards and simply tip the dustbin over for Yosano to sweep into.
This done, Yosano started to mop the floor, which took a lot less time. Ranpo got out a box of pocky and shared it with her, holding out sticks for her as she cleaned up.
"Oh, your knees," he said out of the blue.
"Huh?" Yosano looked down and saw that her knees were indeed in pretty ugly shape. Tiny bruises and indentations had been left behind by the glass she'd knelt on, as well as some small cuts. She hadn't even noticed. "Oh."
Ranpo rummaged in the drawer of the desk he was sitting on. He brought out a box of bandaids and chucked it at her. "Here, catch! You should patch those up."
"You're right." She caught the box with ease and applied the bandages where they were needed. Even though she knew nothing escaped Ranpo, she was still touched that he'd think of her stupid hurt knees after the life-threatening nightmare he'd been through. "Thanks."
He shrugged. "It's fine." Seemingly unsure what to say next, he fixed his eyes on the floor, and then let out a low whistle. "I bled a lot. Pretty badass."
She fixed him with A Look. "You nearly died."
"Yeah." He grinned. "That's epic. Maybe when we tell Mr Fukuzawa he'll feel bad for me and get us McDonalds!"
Yosano shook her head. Ranpo was incredible. She loved him. And she hadn't lost him.
The thought of telling Fukuzawa, though, was a little too much for her. Just imagining what she'd say made her feel tired.
Ranpo realized this immediately. "Well, I'll tell him," He added. "I want to be the one to relate my epic exploits. But you gotta back me up, Yosano. He really doesn't like when I do stuff on purpose."
What? "...How could you have gotten shot on purpose? And why?"
The boy rolled his eyes and stuck another pocky stick in his mouth. "Duh. These were the drive-by assholes Mr Fukuzawa was talking about before he left. I didn't-" he broke off laughing- "manipulate them into shooting me or whatever, obviously, but they targeted us to scare us and keep us from taking the case. It's plain to see."
...Oh.
In the tumult of pain and fear that had surrounded the incident, Yosano hadn't even had time to question why it had happened. But, come to think of it, young boys did not randomly get shot at while talking about card tricks.
"I'm going to take the case. Imagine the looks on their stupid faces."
"Ranpo-"
"They're no match for our Agency. We don't intimidate so easily. In fact, I already half-know who they are. I could have the police on their trails before nightfall."
"RANPO!"
He blinked. "What?"
Yosano put her hands on her hips. "I did not face my deepest traumas, heal your ass AND clean the office while you sit around snacking just for you to work overtime!" Ranpo just stared at her, so she went on, "we'll catch them tomorrow. Maybe they're no match for us, but I am not letting you out that door til we've sat down, watched a movie and..."
She trailed off into silence.
"...McDonalds?" Ranpo completed helpfully.
"Yeah. Exactly." She sighed and hopped up onto the desk next to Ranpo. "I'm glad I could save you. I shouldn't have hesitated at all. I feel so selfish."
Ranpo pulled a face. "That's stupid. I've already deduced that your past experiences were blocking you up."
"...You have...?"
"Yeah." He tossed the now-empty Pocky box at Yosano and grinned. "But now it's all unblocked, thanks to me! You never called me an asshole before. You were so quiet, I think today is the first time you've ever yelled at me! I'm the best, aren't I?"
She looked at him, and felt like crying again.
"Yeah, Ranpo. You are."
***
Eleven years later
"When the President came back," Doctor Yosano finishes, "this story was related, fierce hugs were given and yeah, eventually McDonald's was ordered. Ranpo caught the drive-by guys the very next day." She gets up from her seat and stretches. This hasn't been the easiest story to tell, but it is one the young girl in front of her needs to hear. "We started looking for an office at the top of an apartment building ever since then. And, well, here we are now."
Kyouka looks at the bandage Yosano has wrapped around her hand. "So what's the moral of the story?" She asks quietly. "If I can just start using Demon Snow again, we can score a better office?"
Yosano stares, and then breaks out into an incredulous laugh. "...sure, sweetheart. It can mean that, if you want."
"Oh." The little girl gets up and bows. "Thank you, doctor Yosano. I will keep it in mind."
Yosano nods with a smile as Kyouka leaves her office. She sits back down, and looks down out the window at the city below.
I guess some truths are worth more when we discover them for ourselves.