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1.
“... so I was there with Sapnap, promising him a kiss if he landed this hole in one, and I swear to God, I’ve never seen him try harder at mini-golf.” Quackity says with a laugh. “Except maybe when he’s playing with Dream, but I feel like Dream brings out a carnal side in everyone. Even I want to beat his ass when I play against him!”
Puffy and Niki are avid listeners, but a cryptic shared glance between them, confusion, perhaps, makes Quackity pause in his exclamations.
“What?” He asks, hands lowering from where they had been describing the story as animatedly as his voice. Niki looks away, biting her lip before she flips her gaze back to Quackity.
“Well, it’s just, we thought you were dating Karl.” Puffy nods from beside her, and Quackity cocks his head.
“I am.” He replies, adjusting his hair to fit under his beanie.
“So… why were you offering Sapnap a kiss?” Puffy asks.
“Last I checked, it wasn’t illegal to kiss your other boyfriend when you’re in a polygon.” Quackity replies confidently, posture prideful as he speaks of his boyfriends.
Puffy and Niki share another look.
“A what?” Niki asks, head tilted and brow raised. Quackity smirks.
“A Polygon.” He repeats. “When more than 2 people date, and it's awesome.”
“Is that what it’s actually called?” Puffy sounds skeptical, but Quackity wastes no time in his reply, shifting his position on Puffy’s bed where he’s lounging loosely.
“Yup. Karl told me himself, and he’s the one that did all the research and got us together.” Niki considers, but eventually nods, relaxing back into the beanbag she’s claimed.
Puffy deliberates a little longer, but she too can’t necessarily refute that information when she’s done minimal research on the whole thing herself. And it sounds vaguely correct anyway.
“Ok, well, congrats!” She eventually says with a bright smile, readjusting her position in her bungee chair. Quackity grins back, and launches into another story.
2.
Sapnap had never really been a fan of third-wheeling to Dream and George’s odd flirting and strangely sexually tensioned arguments, but they were still his friends at the end of the day.
The things he did for them.
They’re sprawled in Dream’s room currently, each working on their own things and enjoying the other’s presence.
For example, Dream is currently working on memorizing George’s face, for some reason. He’s not even that attractive, in Sapnap’s books, but whatever floats his best friend’s boat.
He himself is working on some correspondence for work, e-mails and messages and the like. He’d been lucky to get a paid internship right out of college, but the boring busywork required was always annoying.
As Dream begins instigating, on purpose, for around the 5th time this hour (Sapnap’s been counting), he decides correspondence can kiss his ass and wait.
“Ok, seriously, if you guys start fight-flirting or whatever again, I’m actually leaving.” He exclaims as both faces turn to look at him, Dream’s ever so slightly more guilty.
George just raises an eyebrow over his glasses, purple squares reflecting on the lens from his computer where he’s doing some free-lance coding for something.
“Sorry Sap.” Dream replies, moving ever so slightly away from George and Sapnap huffs as he watches his friend reluctantly scoot to the other side of the bed. George seems to be indifferent to his boyfriend being forced away from him, and Sapnap is, for once in his life, glad that George is such a petty boyfriend.
Dream, on the other hand, seems wounded by the older’s lack of reaction. Sapnap hides a smirk.
“Well, no one’s stopping you from inviting Karl over.” George says, and Sapnap knows it’s a false suggestion. They’ve made clear distinctions as to when it’s couple time and when it’s friend time, and even if Dream is constantly testing the boundaries, he would never actually cross them.
Right now, it’s friend time, and Sapnap closes his computer with a click.
“Or Quackity. Don’t you guys, have, like, a weird thing?” George adds on, and Sapnap groans as he slides his computer into his backpack.
“’A weird thing’.” He mocks loosely. “It’s called a polytree.” The younger says, crossing his arms.
“A polytree?” Dream repeats, and Sapnap nods.
“Uh, yeah. Not like you’d know anything about it.” He replies, and Dream scoffs.
“Oh come on. I’m pretty sure it’s not called that.” His friend restates, and Sapnap shushes him.
“Who’s the one with 2 boyfriends here?” Dream and George share a glance.
“You.” They reply in tandem.
“And thank God for that, I can barely stand one.” George replies, and Dream looks like a wounded puppy, pride hurt. Sapnap does not hold back his smirk this time.
“You’re just jealous I have 2 boyfriends and you only have one.”
George scoffs.
“As if.” Sapnap nods indignantly, fueled forward by George’s reply.
“Yes way! But hey, I get if you’re not sexy enough to get 2 even sexier boyfriends. I mean, you’ve hardly gotten one.” He says, and George slides his glasses into his hair as he closes his laptop to fully engage with Sapnap.
“Are you calling Dream sexier than me?” And of course that’s what he’d focus on.
“Yes. Easily.” Dream has shifted from pining for George’s affection to watching the exchange amusedly, and Sapnap lets him grin at his statement.
George, on the other hand, exhales sharply. “He’s definitely not. And your own taste in men is trash. I wouldn’t touch Quackity with a 10 foot pole.”
Oh, now it’s personal. Sapnap gasps.
“Don’t you dare bring Quackity into this! And he is perfectly handsome, dare I say sexy too.” He replies, and George sneers.
“Definitely not. And he always smells like he hasn’t showered in days.” George spits back, and Sapnap glares at George.
“He smells like the cologne he always uses, and I know for a fact he showers because-”
“Ok, boys, please.” Dream butts in before Sapnap can finish his sentence.
“All of your boyfriend’s are handsome, and George, you’re handsomer.” Dream deliberates, and Sapnap scoffs.
“All this because someone’s jealous I’m in a polywhirl.” Sapnap replies
“Isn’t that a pokemon?” George asks, but Sapnap refuses to elaborate.
3.
Quackity is currently getting his ass absolutely beat by 3 kids at Mario Kart, and as the final race comes to a close, solidifying Quackity’s position in dead last, he groans, practically throwing the Wii remote across the room.
“If I knew how to fucking drift, it would be over for you all.” He comments as the top 3 racers are, inevitably, Ranboo, Tommy, and Tubbo, in that order.
“Yeah, but you don’t.” Tommy replies, waggling his remote’s cursor around to make the remote buzz. Tubbo nods from beside him, mimicking his friend’s motions and giggling at the sound.
“Ugh, I’m gonna have to pester Karl to teach me, he’s been trying to get me to play with him forever, and I refuse to be beat in Mario Kart by Tommy-Fucking-Innit again.” He says, and Tommy smirks at him triumphantly.
“Oh yeah, where is he, by the way? Wasn’t he supposed to come too?” Ranboo chimes in from where he’s sat properly on the couch, delicately eating some cheddar puffs from a bowl.
Quackity sighs as the screen flashes on idle. “Yeah, but he forgot he had promised Sapnap a date. Apparently, I got one too many last month and it wasn’t even.” He replies, and the three kids’ eyes meet curiously.
“But we thought you were dating Karl.” Tubbo asks, shielding his bag of Cheez-Its from Tommy.
Quackity nods. “I am.” Another confused look.
“So why is he on a date with Sapnap, then?” Tommy asks, and Quackity realizes he hasn’t actually explained what the deal with him and his two boyfriends was.
He doesn’t exactly see the kids too often, only when Philza asks him to come watch them, despite the group being 16 and up. Somehow, adult supervision was always required, and who was Quackity to turn down easy money?
“Uh, because we’re all dating each other.” Quackity replies, and Tubbo perks up.
“Like a polyjet?” He asks, and Quackity nods.
“Yeah, but it’s actually called a polyglot.” The older corrects and the 2 before him nod eagerly.
“Really? I thought it was called something else…” Ranboo comments from the couch, brows pinched in thought. “But I can’t remember. Polyglot seems right.” He finishes with a shrug, and Quackity nods.
“Because it is. I’m the one in the polystream anyways.” Tubbo nods, and Tommy shrugs indifferently.
“Wait polystream I thought it was-” Ranboos starts.
“Same thing.” Quackity buts in.
Mario Kart loads just in time as they ready up for another round.
4.
It wasn’t as though Sapnap had been avoiding telling his Dad because he was scared they wouldn’t accept him for dating a boy.
Rather, he was more concerned about it being 2 boys.
While he knew Bad was receptive to his not-straightness (he’d been out since high school, after all. And there was definitely something between his Dad and Skeppy, their perpetual houseguest.), Sapnap was still worried he’d find it weird to be dating 2 people at once.
So as he sits nervously on his couch, Bad smiling happily down at Sapnap in all his abnormal height, Skeppy resting his feet on Bad’s lap as he sprawls across the rest of the sofa, he can’t help but fiddle with his fingers as he puts off the inevitable.
“Hello Sappynappy.” Bad greets pleasantly.
“Sup dude.” Skeppy greets, and Bad hits the younger’s leg’s lightly.
“Skeppy! Manners! Sapnap wants to talk to us about something serious.” He reprimands, and Skeppy just eyes Sapnap briefly before returning his attention to Bad.
“‘Sup’ is a serious greeting, I don’t see your problem.” Sapnap is beginning to regret his decision to include Skeppy, but the other was practically his other father, and he felt like he deserved to be here.
Bad lets out a displeased little growl from the back of throat, a strange habit of his, but turns his eyes back to Sapnap. “Whenever you’re ready, Sapnap.”
Right. He clears his throat. “Uh, Bad. Skeppy. I, uh. Well…” He pauses, collecting his thoughts, before launching into his piece. “You know how I said I’ve been seeing someone?”
Bad nods. Skeppy follows suit.
“Well, uh. It’s not just someone. It’s two. I’m dating two people. At once. In a polycram. Quackity and Karl. And we’re very happy.” Sapnap finishes, adding on rationalizations as he waits for his dad’s reply.
“Good for you.” Skeppy replies at the same time Bad cries out
“QUACKITY?!” Skeppy looks questioningly at Bad.
“Sapnap just told you he’s dating two people, and your priority is the fact that one is Quackity?” Skeppy asks, and Sapnap was wondering something similar.
“Oh, well, I mean, congrats, but did it have to be Quackity of all people?” He says again, and Sapnap’s emotions are mixed between gratitude and confusion.
“Uh, I mean, yeah?” Sapnap replies, and Bad groans.
“I like Quackity.” Skeppy says, and Sapnap has never been more thankful for his Dad’s boyfriend (or whatever he is).
“Thank you?” Sapnap says, still focused on Bad.
“All I’m saying is why not Karl and… like Ponk or something?” He exasperates, and Sapnap is speechless for a solid minute as he tries to make sense of his Dad’s suggestion.
“I… barely talk to Ponk? And also isn’t he with, like, Sam?” Bad makes a small noise of displeasure, but relents as Skeppy takes the lead of the conversation, sitting up on the couch.
“Well I think it’s cool, congrats man, have fun, be safe, yadda-yadda. Have fun in your poly…” Skeppy starts, motioning for Sapnap to fill in the blank.
“Polyglam.” He supplies, and Skeppy hesitates, but eventually nods and settles back onto the couch, this time, his head in Bad’s lap.
“Yeah, that. Good luck.” Sapnap leaves, both relieved and confused.
5.
Quackity is having a wonderful time dining out with Sapnap, the two sharing a lovely meal together in the grassy fields of the nearby park.
Karl had wanted to come, of course, but his work hours were different. So he had told the two to have a good time without him and that he’d catch up later.
The beauty of being in a polyscram, Quackity thought, as he reached out to swipe a stray bit of food from Sapnap’s cheek.
“Someone’s enjoying the food.” He teases fondly, and Sapnap rolls his eyes, the apples of his cheeks flushing ever so slightly.
“It’s good takeout.” He replies as Quackity laughs.
“Fair enough.” The shorter replies, leaning over to peck Sapnap’s cheek. “It is pretty tasty.”
Sapnap raises a brow. “Me or the food?” Quackity grins.
“Both.” Sapnap shoves him lightly, Quackity taking the momentum dramatically and falling back on the blanket they’ve stretched across the hill.
There’s a pleasant silence as Sapnap shoves more food in his mouth and Quackity enjoys the mid-summer breeze blowing through the evening.
The silence is interrupted as a figure towers over Quackity.
He sits up to greet whoever has come to disturb them, and there is Eret standing menacingly above him, arms crossed, Fundy behind him, equally as cross.
“Uh, hey Eret?” Quackity greets, side-eyeing Sapnap, and sliding closer to his boyfriend.
“Hello Quackity.” Eret greets, voice as deep and chilling as ever. Quackity feels a brief shudder run through him at the terrifying expression on her face. “Where’s Karl?”
Quackity’s eyes flick between him and Fundy. “At work?”
“And you decided it was the perfect time to cheat on him, did you?” Fundy says, seemingly exploding as the words tumble out in accented English.
If Quackity wasn’t confused before, he is now.
It’s Sapnap who speaks. “What?”
“Oh don’t get me started on you-” Fundy starts, but relents as Eret lifts their arm in front of him.
“We don’t know if Sapnap knows, Fundy.” He reminds, and Fundy huffs.
“Of course he knows, Eret, he’s friends with Karl too.” Eret just sighs.
“Look, fellas, I’m a little confused here.” Quackity finally says, lifting his hands up defensively as Sapnap wraps an arm around him protectively.
“As are we. You’re dating Karl Jacobs, no?” Eret verifies, and Quackity nods.
“Yes but-”
“So why are you here kissing Sapnap ‘n shit, huh?” Fundy butts in.
“Fundy, please, we’re trying to be civil here.” They remind, and Fundy stands down reluctantly. “I don’t want to assume the worst, but cheating is very serious, Quackity. Karl is a lovely man, and doesn’t deserve to be cheated on.” And how he manages to keep his voice so even and yet so threatening is absolutely terrifying.
“I’m not cheating on him, we’re in a polytech!” He says at the same time Sapnap says
“It’s not cheating, it’s a polywar!” They glance at each other and turn back to Eret.
“A polywar.” Quackity says as Sapnap corrects to “Polytech.”
“Same thing.” Quackity finalizes and Sapnap nods.
“Fair enough.” The younger replies.
Eret, however, is terribly, terribly confused.
“A poly-what?” He asks, and Fundy as well looks as angry and concerned as before.
“A polyleaf.” Sapnap says, taking the lead.
“That’s a totally different word than what you said a minute ago.” Fundy says.
“It’s definitely not. And it’s when more than 2 people are dating at once.” Quackity finishes up, Sapnap nodding beside him.
“I don’t think-” Eret starts, but Sapnap cuts her off.
“Now please, can we return to our date in peace?” Eret and Fundy look at each other for a moment before nodding, and relaxing their posture.
“Sorry lads.” Eret apologizes, Quackity waving them off.
“Right, sorry…” Fundy repeats as he trails away.
“Now, where were we?” Sapnap says, turning back to Quackity.
+1
“... So that’s when I told Eret we were in a polywrack and she and Fundy left.” Quackity explains from where he’s sat between Karl and Sapnap, the older’s head rested back against his shoulder, Sapnap sprawled across both their laps.
Music plays from someone’s speaker (probably Wilbur’s) as the group of them sit in the living room conversing.
Eret takes a sip from his drink, flushed light with embarrassment.
Karl shifts from his spot against Quackity’s shoulder.
“It’s polycule, Q. We’re polyamorous.” Karl corrects gently.
“Oh, right.” He says, as the room breaks out into exasperated murmurs.
“That makes so much more sense than polygon, I coulda swore that was a shape.” Puffy comments, and George nods.
“I knew polywhirl wasn’t what it was called, it’s definitely a pokemon.” The older says. “Sapnap’s a dummy anyways, anything that comes out of his mouth can’t be right.” Sapnap glares at George, but says nothing.
“Wait, so you all thought it was something different?” Karl asks, eyes trailing around the room. Eret nods.
“I mean, technically, we all knew it wasn’t right, but none of us knew any better, so we just accepted it.” They say, and Karl spares a glance at Sapnap and Quackity in turn.
“And you two still don’t know what it’s called?” The two avoid his gaze.
“We got the poly part right.” Sapnap says, and Karl just sighs.