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Peter had known that something was missing even before the fire. His wolf howled for a faded, frayed bond he hadn't noticed before and his entire being was being pulled out of the Preserve and into the police station. It wasn't this sudden revelation that just happened, it was like an itch he couldn't scratch for months until he put the reasoning together. He never found those missing pieces but what he did find was a lot of lore about the effects an Alpha's claws can have on a wolf.
He remembered how disoriented he was the day after the last day that he had felt even remotely stable- how he had been feeling anxious all day. How the dread had almost caused him to stay home and his wolf had whined in distress like it could feel the Alpha's intentions. He remembered meeting Talia at the house and wondering why it was so empty. The Left Hand remembered agony and panic and begging for something to be left alone- for mercy and his sister to stop taking away everything that he loved.
Then nothing. He doesn't remember why he didn't want his memories taken but he knew that that was the moment when his control started slipping. He didn't notice at the time but he became the very thing he had done everything his entire life to prevent- a Left Hand without morals. Sometimes, before fire engulfed even his dreams, he would wake up in a cold sweat with his wolf howling for someone he couldn't remember and a presence he couldn't remember with the sweet smell of milk in the air and chamomile. It took him way too long to recognize the obvious but the moment he did was also the moment he lost any and all respect for Talia.
Somewhere, somehow, he had had a baby. He wondered if he had always been a carrier and known it or if the baby had been a surprise. He remembered how his own belly had swelled and comforting hands rubbing his ankles and holding his baby bump when the weight had his back burning with the strain. He could never see the face of his baby, only breathing deeply as relief and loved filled him and a new bond forged itself inside his head. Peter remembered piercing amber eyes that went yellow with his shifting. How his entire body hurt worse than anything he had felt before but he had never been as happy as he was at that moment. He remembered forcing himself not to howl to signal the birth of his baby the way he wanted to- paranoid to the max about Talia finding them. He couldn't remember the face of the male who was with him- his lover?- but he knew that they were there. He thanked everything in himself that he had been smart enough to lock himself in his apartment without leaving until he finally had control over himself because the flashes he had of a child he couldn't remember were the only things that kept him sane while he was stuck in his own mind for years on end.
Peter knew that if he had let on that he remembered he would have had Talia's claws back in his neck before he could so much as say 'motherfucker'- that Talia would have only been more vicious to the point where he doubted he would have ever remember at all. He wrote everything down, took pictures of the stretch marks on his hips and the ones on his pecks that he was positive his Alpha didn't know about and put it in a sealed vault. He made copies upon copies and put them everywhere. He refused to allow himself to forget that he had something to live for even if he would probably never remember anything more than that he did, once upon a time, have someone.
In his darkest moments, when the burns on his skin burned hottest and the slow regeneration of his skin had him losing his mind he wondered what was so awful about him that he deserved what his sister had done to him. He wondered how long she had waited before taking his child and where it went. He wondered if the baby had been from love or an assault or if the dreams he had were real or something his mind made up in his desperation to not be so alone. He wondered if he would ever get to see his baby again before quickly pushing it out of his mind, knowing from experience that that road only led to agony and depression.
-
Peter wondered if the irony was in the fact that it only would have been a matter of months for him to heal had Laura not abandoned him to his fate under his own name or the fact that he finally got to meet his baby without even having to move a muscle.
As he healed his memories started coming back- the trauma of the pack bonds breaking and the Alpha who blocked them dying had them streaming back into his conscious slowly. He remembered what exactly his baby had smelled like.
Honey and chamomile, the earthy smell of the woods and sweet milk- the scent of safety and comfort and belonging and love and a billion other things that made him desperate to smell it one more time even when he hadn't known what it was he was looking for.
His brown hair and whiskey brown eyes. He remembered being held down and fucked harshly raped, sitting in the scent of what had just happened to him alone, shaking, and wondering what he was going to do with himself once he got up. He wondered if he had known the person because he couldn't remember fighting it but he knew that he didn't like what was happening to him.
The first time that scent hit his nose he thought that he was finally losing his mind- that the ashes of his family that left tattoos on his skin and the monochromatic reality of the hospital was making him go crazy. It smelled like he would be okay and it gave him hope so he decided pretty simply that he didn't care if he was imagining it or not.
Soon the smell became a smell and a noise- a comforting, young, voice that spoke softly about anything and everything on his mind. He wished more desperately in those first few weeks to be able to move so much as a finger or open his eyes or make some sort of sign that he was listening because the single hardest thing he had ever been through was being so close to his cub without a clue of what he looked like.
In the beginning, it was benign things about school and his friend Scott and this girl at school he thought was insane for hiding just how smart she was but he could sympathize with because he was hiding something too. It took about a year for him to come out and explain the reason why he was sitting in a hospital room with Peter and with it brought the final revelation that pushed Peter to get better.
"Mrs. Stilinski is still in the hospital. The Sheriff and her adopted me when I was young enough that they don't think I remember but I do. Even if I hadn't remembered though they used to talk about me in the next room like they hadn't realized I could hear them. I realized later that I hear things I shouldn't be able to hear and smell things that I shouldn't be able to smell but after the first time that the adults had tried to bring me to the shrink and pretend like they didn't know exactly what they were doing was the time I stopped talking about it. I'm thinking werewolf because it gets harder to stay human-looking on full moons and I want to smell like Scott and Claudia and John the closer it gets. I think that the Hales, your family, were werewolves too. When I first found my way into your room it was to get away from the smell of death that's only getting stronger on Mrs. Stilinski but also because you smell like safety. I feel protected and like I can let my guard down for no reason whatsoever and it freaked me out. A Wikipedia search later and I think that I might be related to you somehow. I have no idea how and no way of finding out until you wake up so for now I'm going to sit here and hope that my presence helps you like the internet suggested it might because I don't know what else to do,"
His baby was grown up, the milk scent gone from him which meant he was older than 10 and his honey smell of innocence was already waning with every visit. Peter had always thought that it was peculiar that a scent could give away your maturity level but he appreciated the understanding it gave him of his pup's life.
%%%Flashback%%%
"You're going to be ok," A comforting voice murmured above him. The hands on him were soft but sure as they massaged his shoulders and his flanks and his cramping belly. "You're almost done and when that baby gets here you'll have a lifetime of happy memories to make up for the pain you're going through now,"
Carriers were capable of getting pregnant and carrying a baby to full term but the only way to successfully birth the child was either through surgery or naturally through his asshole. Considering the fact that he had been meticulous in making sure nobody would ever find out about his pregnancy surgery was out leaving only a natural birth. The man behind him was gently running a cold cloth over his head, sitting behind him on the bed and propping him up as pain rippled through him without a care for his comfort.
"Connor," Peter panted, wrapping a hand around his wrist and holding on tight as the spasms rocked through him.
"I'm here, darling. I've got you, baby," Connor soothed, reaching down and feeling his overworked hole to see if the head was close. "There's the head, right there," He said with palpable relief, bringing Peter's own hand down to feel. "Just a couple more pushes and our baby is here,"
"Fuck you," The wolf said with a pointed glare that lacked any real heat, his exhaustion seeping through. Another punishing contraction had him losing his train of thought and his half-hearted evil eye.
"I know that we weren't planning this but we are prepared and this is something that we both knew we wanted eventually. I know that my family doesn't have the best track record with yours but I will do my best to protect you both from my tyrant of a father. Our lives will be beautiful and difficult and amazing but that can't happen if you don't get this baby out of you,"
The open honesty and pep talk was the last bit of motivation Peter needed. He leaned back against Connor and took a deep, preemptive breath before the next contraction hit and he screamed.
Alexander Isaha Hale-Argent was born on a rainy Tuesday in Connor's loft. He was perfect, his father's constellation of moles and piercing eyes with his daddy's button nose and coloring.
"He's perfect," Peter said in awe, ignoring the tear running down his cheek as he held his baby close to his chest.
Connor was watching from behind him, not bothering to hide his love for them both as he stroked Alex's cheek.
"He's so beautiful," The wolf whispered, saying the words for them both.
%%%Flashback%%%
"Today at school Jackson- sorry, Jackass stole Scott's inhaler so I punched him in the face a little harder than I strictly should have. I was only doing it because the way his lungs sounded was nerve-racking and I was worried but John didn't really care for that explanation," Stiles' voice was like a cue for his memories to start coming back, the even tone and funny commentary lost on him as he was reliving the moments of his life Talia had stolen from him.
%%%Flashback%%%
Connor's blood was rushing out of the wound he was trying desperately to put pressure on, his training just about the only thing stopping him from getting hysterical.
"You're going to be okay," Peter demanded, viciously ignoring how frail his voice sounded.
"I love you-" Connor whispered through bloodstained lips, smiling calmly like he hadn't just been shot to save Peter, like he wasn't going to leave him alone to raise a baby by himself.
"No. You're going to be fine," The wolf said it between sobs like his willpower alone could save his mate.
"I love you and Alex so much. You're both going to live and do amazing things because I know you'll accept nothing else. I want you to live when I'm gone. I know that Alexander will grow up to be beautiful and fierce and I know that nothing will ever douse that spark you've carried with you your entire life. The thing that attracted me to you in the first place,"
"no no no no no"
"I love you," The words were too quiet for anyone without supernatural hearing to understand.
Peter listened as his mate's eyes dimmed and his heart slowed down, feeling his mate bond fraying at the edges to the rhythm of Connor's last heartbeats.
Connor smiled and then he died. It was like a switch flipped in Peter, the wolf immediately going from agonized over his breaking mate bond to rage as he tore his mate's mother apart.
"This is what you get for murdering your own son," Peter growled, feeling no regret even with his hand around her heart.
"That's what he gets for fraternizing with a mutt like you," She whispered before spitting blood in his face, using her last breath to cackle.
She didn't regret anything either.
Later, after he washed the blood off his hands and burned his clothes, Peter sat in the rocking chair he had shared with Connor that morning and rocked Alex as he tried to remember if he had always felt as empty as he did before he met Connor. He raged against the world and Connor and mates in general silently as he held onto his cub like a lifeline.
%%%Flashback%%%
"Mr. Harris is a dick and I would hate him except I'm good enough at chemistry that he has to give me an A and the way the vein in his forehead pulses every time brightens my day,"
Alex Stiles was a sophomore in high school. Peter wondered absently where the time had gone. He could move his fingers and his toes as well as his face. It had taken 7 years and some change but he could feel that he would be able to move in a matter of weeks. The excitement in his scent was influencing Alex Stiles, his good mood prompting the teen to share all the things that make him happy or vindictively pleased. With all his memories back sometimes it hurt to see just how similar Stiles was to Connor- to them both. He was everything that Peter had ever hoped he would be without even trying with the exception that he hadn't ever known what it felt like to be surrounded by the scent of pack and a carrier's love.
-
The next Saturday he stood up on his own for the first time in nearly a decade. He had decided he would show the signs of coming out of his coma starting at the end of the week. The next thing he remembered was waking up abruptly as a nurse that smelled of gunpowder and wolfsbane pushed something into his IV.
He remembered how confused Laura had sounded.
"Uncle Peter?" She asked as he thrashed inside his head and begged for everything to stop. "Wolfsbane," She muttered as she fought, resignation and regret filling her eyes.
"I know that you're in there somewhere and I don't blame you for this. You can't control it. Tell Derek I love him if you get the change and don't forget that I love you too, Uncle Peter and this doesn't change that no matter how you feel about it after the fact,"
Peter wanted to die in that forest. Wanted to die with his niece's body on the forest floor and her blood under his claws. He wanted to die as the Alpha power filled him and cured the lingering effects of the burns.
He wanted to die and he lost control.
He woke up with a teenager's blood in his mouth, red eyes, and crippling guilt but he woke up. For the first time in over 7 years, he was clear-headed and fully in control of his body. The werewolf went back to the hospital, washed thoroughly, and faked a miraculous recovery. He was immensely glad that he had had the foresight not to heal his burns, knowing that he could use them for an excuse to disappear for a month or more under the guise of plastic surgery.
-
The first thing Peter did after legally coming back to life and making sure nobody was tailing him was check on Alex.
He was staring out the window intently in a way that clearly said he knew that Peter was there before he went right back to pacing. There were claw marks on the back of his chair that weren't his and his scent screamed anxiety and indecision. Peter hated the smell- it didn't go with the chamomile and forest smell his pup was supposed to have. He watched possessively as his cub got himself ready for school and got into a jeep mostly held together by duck tape. Peter immediately wanted to grab him by the scruff and his neck and keep him away from the dangerous vehicle but he curved his instinct, knowing it wouldn't be appreciated without a lengthy explanation.
The wolf tailed him to school and found his nephew, who he had been under the impression was back in New York, in the woods surrounding the school. He was older with scruff and muscles, his awkwardly long, teenage, body finally filling out.
"Uncle Peter?" Derek asked, automatically flashing his blue eyes.
Peter flashed his red ones back, expecting the way the younger man flinched but still unable to hold back the whine.
"You killed Laura?" The younger man asked, his voice broken and his posture defeated.
"Listen to my heartbeat cub," Peter urged him, wrapping him in his arms and putting the pup's head on his chest practically begging him to listen, "A hunter came into my hospital room and dosed me with something before I could even think about fighting back. It left me a passenger in my own mind and immediately I searched for the scent of another wolf in my territory. I was basically feral and Laura-" Peter's voice broke on the name but he powered through it once he was sure Derek was listening, "Laura knew what was happening before I did and said that she loved me, that she loved us both,"
They ended up sobbing against each other surrounded by the sounds of teenagers but it was the sanest Peter had felt in a long time.
-
"Why were you at the school?" Peter asked once they made it back to Connor's Peter's apartment, thankful that he owned it outright and didn't have to go house hunting.
"Why were you?" Derek shot back, going pink in embarrassment.
"I asked you first," The Alpha muttered petulantly like the adult he was.
The blue eyed Beta chuckled a bit before sobering.
"You said that you went feral and woke up with blood in your fangs, right?"
"Yes," Peter responded, more confused than anything.
"You were an Alpha and you bit someone," Derek explained, realizing abruptly that Peter hadn't realized when the man went pale and sat down on the couch below him heavily.
"Who?"
"A kid named Scott McCall. His friend is my m- his friend is Stiles Stilinksi,"
Peter was silent for a moment in sheer surprise, knowing what his nephew was about to say.
"You know that you were adopted... Right?" The older man checked, confident that Derek did but needing to make sure.
"Talia didn't tell me- refused to tell me actually- but I knew when I got old enough to understand why I didn't smell like Laura, Cora, or Jacob," Derek said hesitantly, confused on the relevance.
"My darling sister," Peter spat with just about as much kindness as you would expect, "took away some of my memories. They came back to me while I was in a coma and it turns out that Stiles is my cub,"
"Oh," He muttered after a moment of silence, sitting stock-still.
"I couldn't have hoped for a better mate for my two pups," Peter said at long last, knowing it was the right thing to say at the brilliant smile pointed his way.
-
Stiles was filled with raging teenage hormones, genuine concern, and nerves as he tried to cope with the fact that he was definitely a werewolf and Scott had just been turned. Before giant, monstrous, bipedal, wolves he had just been something other than human. After and with Scott in the headspace he was he had to come to terms with what he had always known.
He was a werewolf, he was probably related to the Hales, and he was totally screwed. In a desperate attempt to not have to admit his own supernatural status but help Scott he showed him research on top of research. It went about as well as he expected, hurtful accusations flying through the air without a care of who they hurt and the agony of knowing he was going to have to tell Scott he had been lying to him for years.
"I know because I was born one!" He shouted as yet another accusation that he was jealous finally broke his resolve. "I was born a werewolf and I was perfectly fine to live my life without talking about it but now you've been bitten and my only choice is to tell you. I'm sorry that I lied to you but we don't have time for you to get pissed off and sulk for a month before remembering that I might miss you,"
He guessed that he had a lot more issues than he had thought if his grievances with their friendship were happening right that second.
"Prove it," Scott said with a scoff, his black and white view of the world not allowing him to consider that maybe Stiles was telling the truth.
Fed up Stiles shifted without any warning, his bright yellow eyes not that much different than his usual ones and his eyebrows spontaneously missing. He had laughed his ass off once he realized that his eyebrows were gone and had appreciated the humor of it ever since but there was nothing funny about the way Scott was looking at him. The teen sat back onto the bed abruptly, knowing from the way his eyes went hot and his teeth got bigger that he had done it as well.
"Are my sideburns pretty at least?" Scott slurred through his fangs, a peace offering and a petulant but serious question at the same time.
"Yeah, buddy. You've got some beautiful sideburns," Stiles promised, laying next to him and shifting back into a human.
He spent the rest of the evening teaching Scott everything that he knew about being a werewolf, ignoring the way he felt like someone was watching him. He also studiously ignored the part of himself he called his wolf whimpered for the man in the forest who had thrown Scott back his inhaler. He didn't get attached to people that quickly- it just didn't happen to him- and here he was acting lovesick over a grumpy man he had met in the forest that gave off some serious axe murderer vibes.
-
Peter had been sitting on Stiles' bed for about a half-hour before he heard the tell tail sound of the jeep's engine driving up. The teen walked into the house before abruptly stopping. The Alpha was proud of how quickly his cub had noticed his heartbeat or whatever it was that alerted him that someone was in his room that wasn't his father.
"I'm going to come up to my room and if you're still there when I get there I'm going to fuck you up to the best of my abilities," Stiles said to the empty room, knowing he would look like a lunatic unless he was right about it being either Derek or the Alpha.
Stiles' heartbeat told Peter that Stiles was serious about his threat and the snick of claws unsheathing drove the point home.
"It's Peter Hale," He said back, too nervous about the upcoming conversation to properly appreciate the way Stiles' heart skipped a beat.
"He's in London for plastic surgery my ass," The teen muttered bitterly, storming into his room without bothering to try and hide himself.
The Alpha could see that Stiles was gearing for a fight and, after a moment of consideration, decided to just start talking.
"I heard every word that you said to me while I was in a coma. At first, you smelled safe and I had no idea why but I was content to just sit and listen to your voice but the longer you kept coming back the more my memories started coming back-"
"Who took your memories?" Stiles interrupted, not even bothering to hide the fact he had a good idea of where the conversation was going to go.
"Talia Hale, my sister and our esteemed Alpha," Peter introduced grandly, not bothering to hide his contempt for the lady.
"Who's kid am I?" Stiles asked, finally giving and sitting down next to Peter on the bed.
He was clearly fighting his instinct but Peter had no such scruples, shoving his nose into his pup's throat and whining as their scents combined when his scent marked his cub. Stiles only froze for a second before going limp and rubbing his cheek in Peter's neck.
"Mine and my mates. His name was Connor Argent,"
"Connor Argent as in the hunter who was murdered by his own mother like a decade ago?" Stiles asked in shock, shuffling farther into the heat of his carrier's body for comfort.
"Talia altered my memories to make me forget you and him and added a sort of failsafe,"
"What was it," The teen asked hesitantly, either not sure of the boundaries yet or not sure if he wanted to know.
"She made me believe that I was raped in the hopes that that would make me stop digging. I'm not sure if the memory is real or not- if I really was assaulted- but I know that only a mate can impregnate a carrier. She clearly doesn't know me very well because if nothing it made me fight harder,"
They spent the rest of the day curled up together and comforting each other as they let their thoughts consume them. There wasn't anything elegant about the life that they led but so long as they stuck together Stiles knew that they would be ok.
It was a struggle for Stiles- to adjust from having nobody to share this part of himself with to having three people who understood him. He knew that it would take time for him to get used to having someone to confide in but somehow, curled into the comforting scent of Peter and home he knew that he could handle- he would handle it.
"What was my name before John changed it?" Stiles asked randomly hours later.
He had never felt like a Mieczyslaw or a Mischief or any of the other nicknames that he had given himself over the years. He wondered if the name he was born with would feel like his own after years of not going by it.
"You were born Alexander Isaha Hale-Argent, pup of Connor Argent and Peter Hale,"
"Alexander," He repeated to himself, turning it over in his head for a couple of short moments.
Peter was stiff against him like he was expecting a rejection but Alex had known that the name was his the moment he had heard it.
"I want to be called Alex,"
The Alpha flashed his eyes and growled his pleasure, getting a chuff in return. Stiles went back to rubbing his scent all over Peter, ignoring the questions racing through his mind and his sorrow at the fact that he would never meet his other father.
-
"Derek doesn't happen to be adopted... Does he?" Stiles asked without any sort of subtlety.
"You're mates and you're a carrier so be careful but yes, he is adopted," Peter said with a laugh, not realizing why Stiles froze against him until he spoke.
"I can have ass babies?!" He whisper shouted like a bad word he wasn't supposed to be saying.
Peter waited for his cub's quick mind to put the pieces together, cracking up at the teen's next sentence.
"Holy shit. I'm an ass baby!"
It only took Stiles a moment to start laughing with Peter, reveling in the safety and humor.
Yeah, he'd be okay.
Comment if you have any requests for me. Feel free to leave a comment if you liked it. -Rose