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Published:
2021-05-28
Updated:
2021-07-30
Words:
3,285
Chapters:
4/69,420
Comments:
29
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Groupchat Fics Are An Escape From A Fascist Society

Summary:

QuackQuackmf: OKAY MF ATLEAST GEORGE DOESNT USE ME FOR MY MONEY

DreamXD: George uses me for things besides money too yk aha aha ;;))))

GeorgeNotFound: dream i dont want to be on speaking terms with you anymore

QuackQuackMf: 😟

 

OR

Yet another Chatfic featuring quarterback! dream with a tongue piercing, pining, a music taste beyond excellent, and a shit ton of inconsequential jokes that may just tickle your funny bone.

Chapter 1: clout is the ultimate form of power yo

Summary:

Dream: DreamXD
Wilbur: SootBoy43
Quackity; QuackQuackmf
George: GeorgeNotFound idk i couldnt come up with smth smart
Karl: Karljacobsatorius (MY FAVORITE NICKNAME EVER LMFAOOO)
BadBoyHalo: BadBoyHalo again i suck with names
Sapnap: ChadNap
enjoy lads

ALSO B4 YOU START, I WILL BE UPDATING ALMOST EVERYDAY, SO DONT YOU FRET! i have too much free time!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

DreamXD added SootBoy43 and 6 others to ‘We get no hoes!!!’

DreamXD: we are finally gonna be like those cool kids who post their groupchat screenshots on their instagram stories to make everyone else jealous of the fact that they have friends. Welcome all.

SootBoy43: The title of this group chat is misleading, I have an ever growing collection of hoes.

ChadNap: the only hoes youll ever get are in minecraft LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Karljacobsartorius: WOOOOOOOOOO BURNN??

ChadNap: karl kiss me

Karljacobsartorius: change your name first and then ill MAYBE think about it.

ChadNap: not worth it dude :/ im gonna go back to kissing my sweet sweet biceps

SootBoy43: Everyday, I wonder why humanity (and by the word humanity I only refer to SapNap) is so vile.

ChadNap: shut up idiot go back to filming pov tiktoks or smth

QuackQuackmf: yea maybe if you didnt type like a grandma i wouldve defended you wilbur

SootBoy43: Quackity, you have a FaceBook account.

QuackQuackmf: yea only for sexting Youre Mom

DreamXD: your*

QuackQuackmf: …

QuackQuackmf: Thats it. Im kissing george

SootBoy43: I am going to head to bed before World War 3 starts. I’d rather not affect my already aching head.

Karljacobsartorius: i dont see where i asked?

SootBoy43: Karl, I want you to be aware of the fact that you will not be remembered fondly in my autobiography. Goodbye.

Karljacobsartorius: This is just embarrassing now wilbur

DreamXD: you cant kiss george, quackity. He’s asleep on my bed rn. We had a very eventful night yesterday

Karljacobsartorius: Ew what

ChadNap: this is a groupchat dudes please fucking keep your sex life out of this oh god

GeorgeNotFound: we were comparing our old pokemon diamond and pearl stats. atleast lie convincingly dream

DreamXD: go back to sleep no one wants you here

GeorgeNotFound: :[

QuackQuackmf: george i could treat you so much better than that piss man. I dont know why you haven't blocked him yet

GeorgeNotFound: but who’s gonna pay for my tuition then. As far as im aware you spent all your money on that barbie dreamhouse set from walmart

DreamXD: mf rly thought he had a chance with george LMAO

BadBoyHalo: why am i not surprised

QuackQuackmf: LOOK sometimes decapitating barbies and ruining their homes can be a FUN way to relieve stress

QuackQuackmf: also bad i dont like how those are the first words youve spoken on this gc. Im Hurted.

DreamXD: hurt*

QuackQuackmf: OKAY MF ATLEAST GEORGE DOESNT USE ME FOR MY MONEY

DreamXD: George uses me for things besides money too yk aha aha ;;))))

GeorgeNotFound: dream i dont want to be on speaking terms with you anymore

QuackQuackMf: 😟

QuackQuackMf: okay but can we just talk about how in the 40 minutes of this groupchat's creation skeppy hasn't even talked once smh

DreamXD: you know the drill quackity

QuackQuackMf: 😏

DreamXD: are you sleeping

QuackQuackMf: are you sleeping

DreamXD: skeppy watches porn

QuackQuackMf: skeppy watches porn

DreamXD: morning bells are ringing

QuackQuackMf: morning bells are ringing

DreamXD: DING DING DONG

QuackQuackMf: DING DING DONG

BadboyHalo: the original rhyme did not have those words in it ಠ_ಠ

QuackQuackMf: shut up bad you tell me something better to replace the words 'Brother John' with

BadboyHalo: ...skeppy eats Popcorn? :D

QuackQuackMf: BadboyHalo you are a disgrace to society

Georgenotfound: I refuse to believe that you and Dream got into this college with music as one of your majors with THAT level of lyrics writing ability

DreamXD: you better take that back or I'm not paying for your shampoo collection anymore

Karljacobsartorius: excuse me his what? This bitch wastes your precious hard earned money on SHAMPOO??

BadboyHalo: language

QuackQuackMf: Karl have you seen his bathroom? Walking inside it is like It's like snorting cocaine but it's vanilla scented. Also Shut Up bad 🤣🖕

Georgenotfound: it's saddening to see so many people not appreciate the importance of a good shampoo. None of you will ever attain true enlightenment in life

ChadNap: I just use the 3 in 1 shampoo it's so much more convenient dude

Karljacobsartorius: …

Georgenotfound: …

QuackQuackMf: …

DreamXD: …

BadboyHalo: ...

ChadNap: what?

Georgenotfound: guys if I ever end up near sapnap ever again you all can just assume I'm being kidnapped by him because wtf

QuackQuackMf: you're aware of the fact I'm majoring in law sapnap right? I could send you to jail for this

Karljacobsartorius: yea sapnap I can't defend you on this. Go back to your cave

BadboyHalo: Sapnap you are one disgusting muffin ಠ_ಠ

ChadNap: why's everyone literally overreacting SM? It's just shampoo 🙄 dreams with me right dream

DreamXD: .

ChadNap: Oh screw you I'm stealing your cat

DreamXD: touch patches and you won't have arms anymore. I play the electric guitar motherfucker, I'm hot enough to obliterate you with just my very intimidating glare

Karljacobsartorius: dream I know you're George's woof woof or whatever but I'm always available ifykyk ;]

Georgenotfound: my woof woof?

DreamXD: his woof woof?

ChadNap: Karl…..

Karljacobsartorius: IM SORRY HES HOT???

DreamXD: dang day 1 and I already have hoes. Might need to change the title of this gc

Skeppy: ayo i was eating doritos. What's up

BadboyHalo: SKEPPY!!!!! (≧▽≦)

Skeppy: bad we didn't finish that movie yesterday wanna come over? I have Doritos

QuackQuackMf: this dude really came in and declared he had Doritos twice and expected us to not be pouncing on him the next second

Skeppy: HUH GUYS GIMME A HEADSTART LEMME JUST LOCK MY DIRJRNFFFFJ

Notes:

hello younglins. im glad you made it till here. i might or might not use the end notes as a ranting place so prepare yourself those who decide to stick around!

kudos or comment if youre sexy.