Chapter Text
Getting ready for school isn’t difficult, nor should it be difficult but sometimes it can feel like a hassle at times, especially if you don’t even want to go.
If I get dressed slowly I could possibly get lucky today. Reluctantly getting dressed, Marcy took her time changing from her PJs into her school uniform.
She checked the time on her phone every so often making sure she was staying on her new and “improved” schedule. 6:15 A.M., so far so good .
Marcy walked up to her floor mirror checking and tidying herself wherever it was needed, she wasn’t the type to emphasize looks, just doing it seemed like an inconvenience to her but just for today Marcy would make it an exception. She noticed the dark circles under her eyes, they were faint but still noticeable at a close distance. Hopefully no one would noticed them, not Anne, not Sasha, not her teachers and especially not-
“Marcy hurry up and come down, your breakfast is getting cold!”
“C-coming Papa!”
Giving themselves one last look, Marcy was only left with the option of hoping that their already perceptive father wouldn’t notice the clear physical evidence of their lack of sleep.
Making her way towards the kitchen in a slower pace than usual, Marcy’s breakfast was already waiting at the table, a crispy golden color like omelette filled with sliced cremini mushrooms, organic baby spinach and bits of cilantro resting on top of it, accompanied on the side with slices of cucumbers, avocados, and a couple of berries. Judging by the visible heat the omelette was giving off, it seemed her breakfast was still fairly warm. And a good thing too, Papa found it so irritating if people ate their food cold, especially if it was his cooking unless of course, the food was actually meant to be eaten cold, either way he was a man who very much preferred warmer foods.
Marcy’s father was just finishing making his own omelette of the exact same recipe, wearing his black cooking apron with the message printed Mr. Good Looking Is Cooking , a message he detested at first but grew to love with time, like the many things his husband would buy him. Marcy honestly found it adorable how her Dad would affectionately tease her Papa like that, reminding her of how Anne would sometimes tease her, a small blush made its way onto the gamer’s cheeks at the fond memories.
“What kind of tea do you want Bao Bao?”
The question snapped Marcy back into reality, as it was a rather unusual pairing. “Tea with an omelette Papa, really?”
Setting down his own plate onto the table, Marcy’s father with a genuine smile countered his daughter’s answer. “Well you know what they say, happiness is a cup of tea and who doesn’t want to be happy?”
Pulling out her chair to take a seat, Marcy shakes her head at his question. Papa always had some kind of quote to defend his endless love for tea and consumption of it, the same applied to video games as he himself was a passionate game designer. Even so, she still agreed to his offer.
Letting the water heat up in the teapot in the meantime, Marcy’s father sits down on the other side of the table facing Marcy and starts eating his breakfast.
Marcy wasn’t normally the quiet type at the table, they usually had something to talk about, it often centered around the topic of video games, especially RPG’s, there was always something new to discover in those kinds of games and they usually took a while to finish. But like most finished RPG’s, there still were areas in the game that still needed some discovering and Marcy was more than happy to start from square one and discover every nook and cranny of the game. So there would definitely be plenty to talk about at the table, but not today, they didn’t feel like talking much.
“You sure have been getting up at a later time these past few days Bao Bao.”
“Hm?” Looking up from their plate and with the fork partially in their mouth, Marcy’s heart palpitated a bit at the comment.
“It’s just, you’re usually up by 6:00 A.M. or even a bit earlier than that and you get down here in less than 5 minutes.”
Swallowing what little food she had in her mouth, Marcy explained. “I’ve decided to relax a little more, take my time with things.” Keep going. “Figured I could start with waking up a few minutes later than what I would normally wake up to.”
They seem nervous. “Ah, well that’s good. Too bad your dad can’t learn to relax a little, that man can be so strict sometimes, with himself and especially with his students. I understand that they're college students but they’re still human” Better not dig too deep, not yet.
Getting up to put the tea bag into the now boiling water, Marcy’s father kept their casual conversation going. “Only two spots left for the DLC Smash fighters, pretty sure they're just saving Sora for last. Save the best for last I always say!”
“Papa, we’ve been over this. Sora is not going to be in the game.” Despite school’s “new events,” Marcy still had enough mental energy to battle her father’s impractical claim, at least for now. “There’s just no way a character belonging to the mouse house itself could make it into Smash. They would have to make a deal which I’m pretty sure would end up in buying and owning Smash as their own, thus ruining the beloved gaming franchise all together.”
Okay enthusiastic passionate gamer, check… “Hey, if they allowed straight up guns in Smash, then I don’t see the problem in putting a character like Sora into Smash.” Grabbing two mugs to pour the tea in, the tea enthusiast glanced every so often at his daughter, reading on any kind of body language that appeared to be off.
“Papa, you and I both know that Crash Bandicoot has a much better chance at making it into the game as an actual fighter. If anything, Sora would make it as a Mii costume, or if he’s lucky enough, as a spirit. But even then, I’m sure they would still want to make a deal with Mr. Sakurai about owning some kind of rights for Smash.”
Eager to end this conversation with a win, check… “Well it can’t hurt to dream right?” Placing their fresh warm tea mugs on each other’s side of the table, the hopeful parent took his seat and continued with his breakfast. She is acting like herself, but there’s still something off…
A couple more minutes of small talk passed by until Marcy’s father noticed the time, nearly making him choke on the berries. “Holy- look at the time! You’re going to be late for your zero period!” Drinking what little tea he had left in a gulp, the tea connoisseur quickly got up to getting himself ready for the ride. “No worries though Bao Bao, I’ll drive you to school!”
No, he can’t! “I-It’s okay Papa! I-I can just walk to school!” Marcy usually walked to school, they didn’t live too far but they also didn’t live too near, the distance was just right enough for a nice morning walk. And besides, the walk to school helped with their new schedule, sometimes.
“What?” He noticed how quick Marcy was to act, not unusual for their character; they were quite the speedster, but there was distress and fear in that speed . “There’s no way you’re going to make it on time for your zero period. Not only that but it’s been a while since I drove you to school, c’mon it’ll be fun.”
Marcy hated saying no to her parents and even if she did, papa would start asking questions, and those questions would need answers, and those answers would only lead to disappointment. She couldn’t let that happen, not again.
“Let me just grab a few things, you can wait in the car in the meantime.”
Grabbing Papa’s car keys and putting on her backpack, Marcy agreed to the offer and once again hoped for the best outcome.
Picking up Marcy’s plate, there was half of everything left and her tea was barely drunk at all. Just like when you were little…
Marcy’s father gave out a sad sigh and headed out the door.
~~~
The car drive was fairly quiet, Marcy wasn’t planning on talking much, they really hadn’t been nor feeling like talking much. Their father on the other hand was quiet, a little too quiet. Trying not to think much of it, Marcy let it be.
Stopping at a red light, the game designer glanced towards his right side where his daughter sat, who had her elbow resting on the car window not really focusing on anything, but just looking outside at what the world had to offer her. Turning his line of sight back at the road once the light turned green, Marcy’s father sighed through his nose, not looking forward to the next few minutes.
“Marcy?”
Papa’s tone was a pretty serious one. Not saying anything, she simply turned her face.
“Your teacher Mr. Escobar called me yesterday in the afternoon.”
Marcy breathing paused momentarily, but she forced it to return not wanting to think the worst. Mr. Escobar was her 0 period teacher and the call was probably about the incident that happened during his class, she hadn’t meant to knock down his bookcase, she was playing Tetris after all. Mr. Escobar didn’t seem too bothered about it, he had ordered Marcy, Anne, and Sasha to help clean up though but no hard feelings were left from what she could remember.
“He told me you’ve been showing up to class late.”
No…
“Several times too. On one occasion you didn’t even show up to class at all.”
Please let this be a dream…
“Mr. Escobar sounded quite worried about you. I’m not surprised, he’s one of those few teachers who actually cares about his students.” The parent chuckled a bit at his own statement.
“I wonder if this new ‘change of pace’ of yours has anything to do with you not making it to school on time.”
He knows…
“Or possibly your lack of sleep?”
He knows, he knows, he knows!
“Does it also involve not finishing your meals too?”
Please something happen, anything!
Another sigh left her father’s mouth, a very sorrowful one at that. “You haven’t been acting like yourself lately these past few days.”
A tire pop, run out of gas, a phone call, something please happen!
“Just like when you were little.”
Please no, don’t let Papa-
“Marcy...is someone bothering you at school?”
Marcy wasn’t sure how to respond, they didn’t even think they could, but they had to say something, anything that could assure Papa they were fine.
“No Papa, I’m fine. It’s just…” It’s better this way. “...finals are coming up and I want to get a perfect score on all of my exams this time.” They turned their line of sight away from the airbag section of the car towards their father, trying their best to reassure him. “I got a couple of questions wrong last time, so I've been cramming some late night studying, making sure I understand everything.” I’m sorry Papa…
A lie clear as the day itself and pushing questions on them wasn’t going to give Marcy’s father the answers he wanted, only give him more walls. So he just went with the flow. “You do know that sleep deprivation doesn’t equal success, right?”
“Yeah… I know.”
The next few minutes of the car ride were painfully quiet.
Marcy's father pulled up in front of the middle school and spoke before his daughter could move to put on her backpack. “Marcy...I’m not going to force you to tell me anything and neither will your dad but know that we’re here for you through thick and thin. Just summon us with your grimoire whenever you need to, okay?”
“I know Papa.” Marcy smiled at Papa’s little fantasy reference, but are smiles supposed to hurt?
“Here.” He handed them a paper bag that had a fair amount of weight to it, with a sticky note drawing of a big furry character from their favorite JRPG of all time, Vagabondia Chronicles.
“You and Anne are going to have an after school study session right? Thought I’d make you guys some treats that you can snack on while you study.”
“Thanks Papa.” Giving their father a peck on the cheek, Marcy got out of the car and walked towards their school’s front doors. Stopping a few feet away from the entrance, the young gamer turned around and waved goodbye at their father. Doing the same, he watched as his daughter entered and disappeared into the building.
“Speak up soon Bao Bao.”
~~~
It was only 6:45 in the morning and the hallways of Saint James Middle School had a fair amount of students occupying them. Everyone had their own reasons for being there at that time but for the most part, most students arrived at school earlier than normally scheduled for their zero periods. Zero period often began at 7:00 A.M., but class didn’t really start until a few minutes after, allowing teachers and students to settle themselves for the lecture. Marcy had more than enough time to make it to class on time, that is if she got lucky today.
Heading in the direction of her locker, Marcy walked at a much quicker pace than what was deemed normal, all while being vigilant towards her surroundings. Making it safe and sound, Marcy opened her locker, grabbed whatever books she needed until nutrition and put them in her backpack with her notebook. She made sure to place the bagged treats from her father inside the locker, not wanting his thoughtfulness to get all mushy and squished by the books in her backpack.
Everything seemed unusually normal so far for Marcy, maybe it was their lucky day today, but whether it was luck or not they weren't going to take any chances. They were much more safer in Mr. Escobar’s classroom than out here in the hallways, they had to get there quickly before-
“Well if it ain’t my favorite nerd!”
Too late.
A boy of the same age as Marcy with a sneering smile he proudly wore all the time called out to her, Cameron Lewis was his name and he definitely wasn’t one of Marcy’s favorite people. Cameron had moved to California about a month ago but a month was more than enough to make himself well known around school. Aside from being declared the best golf player at SMJS, his reputation amongst the students was not a friendly one.
Marcy knew he was addressing her, he had been picking on her for two weeks which was soon to be three and from her own knowledge he didn’t really seem to bully other people, make a few malicious comments and push them around once in a while, but he never constantly bullied the same people for long, they did their best to hide from him and he wouldn’t bother looking for them. Whatever the reason for Cameron choosing Marcy as his daily punching bag, she kept herself occupied with the items in her locker, trying her best to ignore him.
“How ya doin’ Wu?”
No response or reaction.
“Aw, not saying anything? C’mon, I thought we were pals Wu.” Leaning his elbow on the lockers, Cameron was making it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going anywhere until he got some sort of reaction from them.
Marcy didn’t want to talk to him, she didn’t want to look at him, she didn’t even want to be near him, she didn’t want to give him any kind of attention but he wasn’t making it any easy to be ignored. Mar Mar was stuck with two options, continue to ignore him but doing that would only just make everything worse, but she didn’t want to deal with him right now, who in their right mind would want to be near their bully, much less talk to them? Her 2nd option was to respond and just hope for the best, neither option was pleasant but it was all there was and she hated it.
“Just leave me alone Cameron.”
Why did I say that? Marcy was in a bit of shock at her choice of words and was already regretting it.
Cameron, now standing upright chuckled a bit to himself, clearly more amused than surprised at Marcy’s unexpected response. “Leave you alone? You do know what that would mean right?”
Confused by what he meant Marcy turned to look at him but stayed quiet.
He didn’t expect her to understand but he was more than willing to explain. “If I were to leave you alone that would mean agreeing with those damn teachers.” Cameron started walking back and forth in front of Marcy continuing to explain in volumes that were loud enough to garner the attention of a few students around them. “If their not teaching, their blabbing some dumb shit about how you’re so smart and that everyone should follow your example! Man, does that shit get annoying, just hearing them say your name gives me a fucking headache.” Massaging the sides of his forehead, Cameron was clearly getting upset, something that he didn’t often project towards Marcy.
Turning to face Marcy, Cameron snickered, “So you see Wu, I can’t just leave you alone cause that would mean being more like you, but like hell I'm gonna do that.” They were somewhat comprehending his question from before but still…
“Why should I be more like you? Just cause you can guess some numbers right and name every single thing they teach us in these outdated books don't mean shit to me!” Cameron’s breathing was becoming a bit more rapid with every statement, his teeth were even grinding a bit. “You can’t even pick up a baseball bat or dodge an incoming ball, you probably have the lowest grade in gym in the whole school, so why the hell should I even try to be like you, why would I want to be a fucking weakling?!”
Seconds of still silence passed by with the only thing audible was Cameron catching his breath and a few murmurs from nearby students, Marcy was keeping their head down making the bully in front of them believe he had accomplished some kind amazing feat.
“So what?”
Cameron’s smile was as quick to disappear as his golfing swings were to Marcy’s counter.
Slowly raising their head up to look Cameron in the eyes, Marcy hesisitanly continued a statement of their own, “So what if I’m no good at sports? So what if all I can do is guess some numbers correctly? So what if all I can do is answer every question in the school books correctly?” She was terrified, knowing full well that their talking back to Cameron could lead to something even worse than a few nasty comments, but they had to try to be stronger for once. “There’s nothing wrong with that, just like there’s nothing wrong with you only being good at golf and other sports.” Marcy clenched their fists, preparing themselves but fighting their next sentence. “And maybe if you put a little more time and effort into your studies you wouldn’t struggle so much in school, and you probably wouldn’t pick on me so much!”
Cameron, the students around them, even Marcy herself were all stunned by her retaliation against him. Marcy wasn’t sure what to do next but she stood her ground against her bully, waiting for who knows what. Cameron was more than irritated at Marcy’s words, he wasn’t used to anyone talking back to him, everyone usually followed along with his tyrannizing acts and the murmuring giggles from the students watching them weren’t helping calm his boiling anger.
“You little-” Cameron was ready to throw a fit, but his eyes sighted something in Marcy’s locker that was worth more of his time. Smirking, he quickly reached into Marcy’s locker and snatched her journal and held it in the air displaying like a 1st place trophy.
“Give it back Cameron!” Marcy desperately tried to grab back her journal only to be pushed back against the lockers.
Gripping the journal firmly in his hand Cameron stated his demand, “Now listen here you damn nerd, if you’re gonna want this journal back you’re gonna have to do something for me first.” Anyone who had been watching the two students were now listening attentively to Cameron’s request without getting involved in the dispute itself. Cameron delightfully declared his request, “I want you to start failing.”
“W-what?” Marcy was listening but her distress was making it difficult to comprehend her bully’s request.
“Ya know Wu fail, as in start failing your classes. Show these damn teachers and everyone here at SJMS that you ain’t so fucking smart. Do that and you'll have this journal back in your weak puny hands before you know it.”
“Fail my classes? I-I can’t just start failing my classes out of nowhere Cameron!” He couldn't be serious, this was crazy talk.
Cameron shaked his head in disappointment, “Well that’s too bad.” He opened up Marcy’s journal and flipped through its pages, Marcy watched with agitation, unsure of what he was going to do. The young golfer stopped at a certain page and examined it briefly, right before ripping it out of its place in the journal and ripping the page in half.
“No! Cameron, stop plea-” Marcy tried to stop him as quickly as they could, but was once again shoved back into the lockers with more force this time, making them wince at the minor pain in their shoulder. Caring little for Marcy’s state, Cameron pointed his index finger at her with a warning, “If you don’t want anymore damn pages ripped off of this stupid journal, you’re gonna do as I fucking say alright?!” Feeling smaller than a field mouse, Marcy nodded.
Content with the sight in front of him, Cameron let the now two pieces of paper slowly fall to the ground and walked away from Marcy holding the journal firmly to his side. Before being out of sight, Cameron stopped a few steps into his departure wanting to leave one last remark, “Oh, and if you tell anyone about our little talk you’re going to lose more than a few pages in the journal.” He noticed the stare of the other students but didn’t pay much heed to them, they all knew better than to snitch on Cameron, to snitch on him was just asking for a good pummel. The young golfer had done well building his infamous reputation here at SJMS amongst the students.
Marcy watched as Cameron walked away with her journal in his hand, one of her most prized possessions. Her gaming notes, fanfics, drawings, schedules, notations on random stuff she would discover and find fascinating, everything she held dear was written in that journal, not to mention she had spent a good amount of her time personalizing the journal with a few stickers in the back cover of it and organizing it to her liking with certain pages having post it flags on them. Marcy felt a desperate need to snatch her journal back from Cameron’s hand but disregarded the strong feeling and instead focused on picking up what remained of one of her journal entries.
Why did she even consider the notion of trying to get her journal back, it would only make matters worse. Look at what “speaking up” did, it led to nothing good, only to get her journal taken away with the possibility of never being able to see it again, unless she did as she was told. Fail... the world lingered like a bad taste, the more she thought about the word and its purpose the more disgusted she felt. Regardless of the distaste, if Marcy didn’t do as she was told her journal was most likely going to get destroyed, but if she hadn’t upfronted Cameron like that the page would still be attached to the journal and in one piece, if she had stayed quiet all Cameron would have done was a bit of teasing like he had been doing for the past few days, she was already used to it, so then why did the teasing hurt more and more with each passing day? These thoughts were starting to make her vision blur up a bit and her breathing be a little more quicker than what was deemed normal. It didn’t help the fact that the half torn paper she had picked up was an unfinished drawing, it was a special drawing after all.
Why did I open my mouth?
Marcy’s hands were becoming shaky with every passing second, she was even starting to sweat a bit, the stares and murmuring from her nearby peers weren’t making things any less worse. She tried to focus her mind on gathering the last bit of material from her locker, but the whispers were becoming louder and louder, the laughter was becoming unbearable to hear and the pointing fingers were feeling more like knives piercing her body. These unwanted feelings were making the simplest of tasks seem like a strenuous duty.
Why did I speak up?
Marcy wasn’t sure if it was all in their head or not, they couldn’t even process the thought of it being nothing more than their mind overpowering them, it all felt too real. Whether it was real or not, they was starting to feel a bit nauseous, they swallowed trying to calm the neverending nerve in their stomach and tried their best to close the locker but their hands were failing to attach the lock and their eyes had become much too blurry to see if they were entering the right combination, they weren’t going to last much longer. Quickly grabbing their backpack from its resting place on the floor against the lockers, Marcy ran out of the hallways caring little for leaving their locker mildly open and their lock on the floor.
What was I hoping would happen?
They needed to be somewhere where they could be alone, somewhere no one would bother them, somewhere no one could see them, somewhere safe.
Why did I yearn for change?
One of the exit lobbies to the auditorium was open and luckily for Marcy the band and choir were practicing in their classrooms, so her presence wouldn’t be a bother to them. The school janitor was most likely to have been the one to open the doors but he was nowhere in near sight, he was probably all the way at the auditorium’s entrance lobby cleaning up the floors and pretending to be a rockstar of some sort.
Marcy ran up the stage stairs and finally stopped running once she reached the backstage, she found a nice quiet corner, dropped her backpack to her side, pushed her back towards the wall and slowly slid down to the floor, allowing the tears to finally drip down her face continuously.
Why do I always mess up?
There was no way Marcy was going to her zero period, much less make it on time, she was already too far off from the building where her class normally happened and her mind was much too distraught to even be able to focus in class. How would anyone be able to focus on anything in this kind of situation, one of her most prized belongings was taken away and her drawing, her special drawing that wasn’t even finished was ripped in half right in front of her and all she could do was watch and cry about it.
Why can’t I be better?
Protagonists always stood up against the antagonists, they always stood up for what was right, they always defended themselves and others, but this was real life not some video game or anime world and even if it was unlike Marcy, protagonists were always strong but she was just Marcy, good for nothing, weak, stupid old Marcy. “I’m sorry Papa, I’m just not strong enough.”
The band and choir began practicing their respective numbers and Marcy sat in the auditorium backstage corner hugging her knees crying her pain away. The music and singing were pretty loud and could be heard throughout the entire auditorium, that was good though their volume would overpower her weeping.
It’s better this way…
~~~
“Huh, that’s funny.”
“What is?”
Anne and Sasha had arrived at school about 15 minutes before the bell rang that initiated the start of the day here at Saint James Middle School and were on their way to Marcy’s 0 period to wait for them and head on down to their 1st period together. But on their way there Anne noticed Marcy’s locker was mildly open and their lock was on the floor not too far from the locker itself. “Mar Mar’s locker is open.” While the girl was probably one of the clumsiest people alive, not to mention oblivious, Marcy didn’t usually leave their locker open like this, especially with all the stuff that they kept in there, usually.
Anne approached her friend’s locker, opening it all the way, inspecting it to see if anything was missing.
“One of these days she’s going to end up getting her stuff taken away.” Sasha commented on the open locker without averting her gaze from her phone, worrying Anne.
“Don’t jinx it Sash!”
Shrugging his shoulders Sasha replied, “I’m just saying. If she doesn’t start waking up to the world around her, she’s gonna start losing stuff or even get lost herself.”
Seeing as nothing was missing, Anne picked up the lock from the floor and turned to Sasha, “ Okay, so Marcy can be clumsy at times and get lost in their own little world but it’s not that much of a bad thing, I mean they are the smartest person we know, not too mention the mention the smartest here at school and probably the smartest person in the world for all we know.” A tint of blush made its way onto the young jock’s face as she stated her claims of her dear friend.
Almost as if he had heard the small blush form, Sasha looked up at Anne with an eyebrow raise and smirking. “So when are you going to confess to Mar Mar?”
Anne nearly dropped the lock from her hand at the question and her blush only became more noticeable with her reply, “I-I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She gave the inside of Marcy’s locker one last look before closing and locking it.
“C’mon Anne, any idiot would be able to see your little obvious crush on Marcy, well most would at least.” Sasha leaned herself against the lockers, hands in the pockets of her jean jacket with one of her hands still holding on to her phone inside the pocket as she replied, “So when are you going to do it?”
There was no point in playing it dumb if Sasha already knew the facts. Anne also leaned herself against the lockers, holding onto the straps of her backpack and looked forward without really looking and answered the question, “I don’t know.” She gripped her backpack’s straps a little more firmly, “I don’t even know if Marcy feels the same way about me.”
“Pretty sure they do Anne.” Sasha knew for a fact that Marcy liked Anne, aside from the fact that Marcy themselves had told Sasha about their crush on Anne, it was more than obvious that these two liked each other judging from the way they behaved around each other. They were always holding each other or physically close to each other than what was deemed normal for friends and if they weren't doing any of that they would be listening to each other's words intently and lovingly, it was honestly a pain seeing these two dorks basically be in love with each other but not have their feelings realized for another. The pain would only double for Sasha everytime they acted like that, since both Anne and Marcy entrusted Sasha not to tell the other girl of their crush for the other. These two are killing me I swear.
Anne rested her head against the lockers and sighed, "I don't want to ruin what Marcy and I have Sash." Turning to face Anne, Sasha listened to his friend's words with care and attention. Anne kept her gaze forward, "Marcy and I have been friends ever since I could remember, we’ve always been there for each other no matter what and we’re as close as any couple of best friends, but...” Anne was a bit hesitant saying her next words but looking at the floor somehow helped, “...unlike normal best friends I want something more with Marcy than just being their best friend. And I want to tell them I really do but, if they don’t feel the same way then what’s the point in making things awkward between us and possibly even ruining a lifetime friendship?” Anne turned to Sasha with a serious yet downcasted look, “I don’t want my stupid feelings to be the reason I lose a friend.”
Furrowing her eyebrows a bit Sasha replied, “What makes you think the way you feel about Marcy is stupid?”
Anne was surprised at the question, leaving her a bit lost for words but she still stayed true to her mindset. “Why wouldn’t they be?”
“So you’re saying that it’s pointless to love someone unless they return those same feelings?”
Anne didn't mean it like that not in the sense Sasha was talking about, treating her own feelings like some kind of useless tool, but then again what was the point in using the tool if it didn't work for the required task, why bother trying to use it, why bother trying to figure it out, why even bother keeping it? "I...I don't know Sash. I honestly don't know what to do."
Sasha turned his gaze forward, looking without really paying heed to what was in his line of sight. "Anne, people are weird there's no doubt about that and honestly feelings are no better." Sasha heard loud laughs and noticed some kids were writing on the lockers not too far from them with permanent sharpie, he chuckled a little at their shenanigans planning to do the same later but better. "Sometimes people don't want their own feelings because other people don't want them, so those feelings usually end up ignored or thrown away like garbage, all because they're too busy trying to please others." Sasha laid his head back against the lockers, closing his eyes for a bit, the cheerleading competitions and finals were around the corner and a good sleep was something he was yearning for lately.
"What are you trying to say, Sash?" Anne was kind of getting the idea but asked just to be sure,
Sasha replied but still was giving his eyes a break, "What I'm saying is that you shouldn't ignore your feelings for Marcy, least of all call them stupid. It's normal for you to feel this way towards someone, Anne, especially if they're a friend." The young cheerleader opened his eyes but kept them staring at the ceiling as he continued helping his friend in need. "Your feelings are a part of who you are, so if you treat them as something to be hated and rejected then you're really only hurting yourself."
Anne wasn't sure how to respond to her friend's advice, she had read something similar online several times actually about embracing oneself which included something about feelings, but the words from an anonymous social media account were difficult to put into practice no matter how many times she went back to it. For some reason though, hearing the advice from Sasha made Anne feel a little more at ease about this whole situation, actually following through with it though was still something she was hesitant about.
"And listen, I know confessing to someone is downright terrifying and stressful in itself but it's still worth a try." Sasha finally made eye contact with Anne and it was a serious one at that, but there was an earnest caring, worry in it. "If confessing to Marcy really makes you that anxious then don't force yourself to do it, but if you don't ever do it you might end up living the rest of your days in regret, and the last thing I want is to see one of my best friends in pain and treating themselves like shit because of a choice they made."
Anne only had two options, confessing or maintaining silence and it didn't matter in the end which one she chose because both were going to end up miserably, especially now that Sasha gave her own insight on the situation. Did the universe hate her or something? First the C- on her essay from her English class which was one point away from being a D+, then the broken leg on Domino because she somehow managed to get out of the house and "travel" a bit, even though Anne double checked to make sure everywhere around the house that the furry feline considered an exit was secure and cat proof, and now this. She was stuck.
“What do you think I should do, Sash?”
“I’m not too sure Anne, but if anything confess when you feel ready.” Sasha responded with a soft smile, but Anne still felt unsure. Sasha noticed it and reassured her yet again, “And besides, you and Mar Mar have been best friends since forever, the girl is too smart to let something like a little crush stop you two from being friends.”
“I guess you’re right.” Sasha’s advice helped her feel a little better about this whole thing but she had to give it some thought before committing to anything. “I’ll think about it, thanks Sash.” Anne returned her friend a small smile, reassuring Sasha that Anne was going to be fine.
Sasha’s phone buzzed indicating he received a message and as he took a look he noticed the time, realizing there were only 5 minutes before Marcy’s 0 period was over, luckily they weren’t too far from the classroom itself ensuring an on time arrival. “C’mon, let’s head up to Mar Mar’s class before they start falling into the trash cans again.” Anne laughed a little at the comment, Marcy did have a reputation for being oblivious to their surroundings which caused them to bump, fall or even lose things at times, and while Marcy’s antics made Anne’s hair grow a few gray strands every now and then, she couldn’t help but find it adorable at times. Guess it was part of Marcy’s charm, was that really the right word for it? Although lately, Marcy wasn’t really playing with their switch too much or getting lost in a book, they usually had either one out in hand’s reach and used them to their heart’s content every second they could. Maybe they were practicing some kind of self-control?
“Ugh, not this guy again.” Curious what provoked the annoyed response from Sasha, Anne put the questions she had about Marcy’s behavior to the side and asked, “What guy?”
“You know that new kid that recently moved here and is on the golf team here at our school?”
“You mean Cameron Lewis?”
“Yeah, I made it clear to him already that I'm not interested but you how guys like him are. No means yes and get lost means take me I'm yours." Sasha didn't bother reading the whole message Cameron sent, he immediately became part of her spam and blocked section on her phone. How did he even get a hold of her number? It was probably Angie who gave it to him, she was on the cheer team and friends with Sasha and unfortunately was cousins with that prick.
"Why don't you just report him to a teacher so he can leave you alone?"
"Nah, he's annoying but he hasn't done anything so bad to the point where adults need to get involved." Even if he wasn't getting physical with Sasha, the fact that Cameron was continuously harassing him even after being told no should be enough to be reported and get him expelled from school. Sasha noticed the concerned look on Anne's face and as usual reassured his worrisome friend. "And besides, if he tries anything the idiot won't only be getting something permanently written down in his school record but taking a broken arm with him too." Anne knew Sasha was more than capable of handling himself, but she also knew Sasha could get a little too protective especially with Anne and Marcy. The popular cheerleader became a mother bear when he had to, and a mama bear very much preferred to leave the bothersome pests dead, if given the chance. Okay but Sasha wouldn't go that far, probably.
“Just don’t mentally traumatize the guy okay?”
“No promises Anne.”
Anne and Sasha had arrived just as the students were leaving the class and heading on down to their respective first periods. The girls waited for Marcy outside the classroom, she was usually out in a minute or two and if she wasn’t out by then then she was most likely chatting with Mr. Escobar about something she deemed fascinating about U.S. history.
They didn’t see Marcy come out of the classroom alongside the other students, so it was safe to assume she was talking to the teacher, Anne and Sasha decided to let Marcy have her little chat for a few minutes.
As they waited, Anne’s thoughts from earlier about Marcy’s new behavior were coming back and something about it just wasn’t sitting right with Anne. There was nothing wrong with practicing some self control, in fact the action itself is something to be applauded at but Marcy Wu not playing video games, not reading a book or not getting lost into something they deemed fascinating, that just wasn’t right. Or maybe she was just overreacting? Maybe Sasha knew something, or maybe not, either way it wouldn’t hurt to ask.
“Hey Sash?”
“Hm?”
“Have you noticed anything weird going on with Marcy?”
“What do you mean weird?”
Anne could have phrased that question better, but someone not acting like themselves well that is pretty weird, at least to her it was. “Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but Marcy hasn’t really been themselves lately. They haven’t been playing their games too much, telling us about the stuff they’ve discovered or their fantasy frog world. They really haven't been their adorable, nerdy self these past few days."
"Their adorable, nerdy self?" Sasha couldn't help but tease Anne a bit with her last comment.
"I-I mean," Better not accidentally say that when Mar Mar is around, "m-my point is that there might be something going on with her, something she might not be telling us."
Sasha did notice old Marbles volume had been a bit more toned down these past few days, but similar to Anne she went with the notion people change and tried not to think much about it, but her protective mama bear side thought otherwise. "I read somewhere online that they're going to announce a new character for that fighting game she loves so much soon, and surprisingly she hasn't brought it up even once."
The more unusual behavior brought up, the more Anne was inclined to believe something was wrong and that something was making Marcy act differently, maybe even possibly hurting them. Okay, maybe she's overreacting a tad bit but still…
"We can always ask them, you know?"
“Okay.” Hopefully nothing bad was going on with Marcy but they were never going to know if they didn’t ask.
“Shouldn’t she have been done talking with Mr. History Nerd by now?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” It had already been past 5 minutes which was the amount of time Marcy usually spent talking with him, sometimes a little more but by then Anne and Sasha were already dragging Marcy away. Come to think of it, Anne wasn’t really hearing any voices from Mr. Escobar’s room, wanting to be sure she leaned over taking a gander at the teacher’s room and just as she feared Marcy was nowhere to be seen.
Mr. Escobar noticed Anne and greeted her with a tone of that of a friendly older brother. “Ah Anne, good morning!”
Caught by surprise Anne replied, “Mornin' Mister!” Most of Anne’s teachers would have been a little bothered if they were referred to as Mister or Miss , but aside from being one of the youngest teachers at Saint James Middle School, he was an overall casual person whom the students really liked and admired. Even the environment of his room made students feel at ease, he had posters of his favorite bands, films, shows and video games all over the classroom walls and a couple of figurines in his desk. Students who were considered geeks felt especially comfortable and at home in his classroom, he even mentioned that he would be getting a few computers to be set in his classroom for students to use for educational purposes or for their own personal usage.
“You’re more than welcome to come in if you want to.” He called out to Anne as he was cleaning the lenses of his glasses. As they were walking inside, Mr. Escobar noticed Sasha and greeted him as well. “Good morning to you Sasha!”
Being a pretty casual person himself, Sasha simply made a peace sign with his index and middle fingers and replied, “Sup.”
Both Anne and Sasha were students of Mr. Escobar’s, but unlike Marcy the two girls had him later in the day for World History, nevertheless all three of the girls were as they called it, cool with him. Maybe Mr. Escobar knew something about what was going on with Marcy, or why she wasn’t around. Although to be fair, they did arrive just as the other students were leaving so maybe she had gone on to 1st period already, but even if she did that didn’t sound like Marcy, they always waited for her and walked together to 1st period. Hopefully Mr. Escobar would be able to clear things up.
As he was putting his glasses back on the young teacher noticed the absence of a third member and asked, “Marcy isn’t with you girls?”
The fact that Mr. Escobar was asking that was worrying Anne a little for some reason, inclining her to ask, “Uh no, we were actually waiting for her and we thought she was talking to you like she always does, but we never saw her walk out of your classroom, did she go to 1st period already by any chance?”
“That’s the thing Anne, Marcy never came to class.”
Both Sasha and Anne shared a startled expression at the reply. “She what?”