Chapter Text
The kind man found them all alone in Lakeside Mall. Several times, Lex noticed him circle around the place and throw glances their way, as if trying to figure them out. At first curious, his gaze turned sick with concern the second and third time he passed them by and before she knew it, he was crouching in front of the bench Lex had picked for her and her sister.
"Hey there, buddy," he said and she wondered if he could tell she was a girl. "Is mom and dad around?"
She shrugged one shoulder. Against her, Hannah was slowly stirring awake from her afternoon nap, her little limbs stretching as long as she could extend them. She would be hungry soon and Lex would have to solve that when it came to it. She was wearing a shirt that had been Mom’s. Her sleeves were broad enough to sneak a snack or two into her palm without the employees noticing. If she did that every morning and every night, then Hannah might not cry. She had the rest of the summer to figure out what to do about school.
"Are they inside the mall? Did you guys lose them?"
"Fuck off," Lex snapped and for this alone, she wished Mom were here to hear. She would have been proud.
He was as startled as if she had spat in his face. For a moment, she considered it. Teachers said you weren't supposed to talk to strangers and she had never met the man in her life. Most likely, he was a murderer or a pedophile, although she did not know what either of those things meant.
"Hey, that's a naughty word for you to be using. How old are you?"
"Ten," Lex frowned, though she was six. "Why are you talking to me? I don't know you. Fuck off."
He stood up at once, his hands on his thighs. His jeans had a greenish spot on them at the knees and Lex suddenly regretted speaking so freely, for she was curious about it now and it was too late to ask. He was wearing an old flannel that looked soft and rough to the touch. She wondered about his age. Old, probably, twenty or twenty-five. Mom was twenty-three, if that mattered at all now that they would never see her again.
"Okay, now I really gotta find your parents," he said. "You can’t talk like that, kid. That’s grown-ups talk. Come, we’re gonna check mall security, maybe they’re looking for you there."
She shook her head. Mom wasn’t looking for them anywhere at all, but perhaps, if Lex said the wrong thing, they would bring her back to her. That was the last thing she wanted. The man offered his hand and tried to smile.
"I’m just here to help…"
Though she distrusted strangers and in particular anyone who tried to talk to her, though nobody could know she was here and nobody could know where she came from, though she had to protect her sister and keep her safe at all cost, something in the lopsided turn of his mouth made her loosen her grasp on the backpack on her lap and she hesitated. He wriggled his fingers invitingly.
"They can’t be far," he said. "Come with me."
"Give me ten dollars and I’ll come."
The man looked around. For now, nobody was searching for them, Lex was sure, but in a few days’ time Mom might start noticing their absence and then, Lex would have to come up with a stronger plan than the mall. Everything cost money, Mom always said. Ten dollars was a start. He glanced down at them with something like pity and sighed.
"I’ll give them to you on your way home."
Lex hopped off the bench and tried to pick up Hannah from the bench. She was getting a little big to hold her as easily as before, but then Lex was growing stronger too. At school, she was as strong as any boy and she beat them at baseball more often than they did her. Once, she had given Gavin a black eye.
"Here, let me hold the baby."
Lex glared at him and pulled Hannah closer to her, who fussed a little. She did not like being surprised. Lex tried to hook her at her waist to carry her, but Hannah was suddenly pounding her tiny fists on her chest in protest. One day, she would learn how to walk and everything would be easier for the both of them, but till then, Lex had to do the work. She had to be there for her sister. The man crouched next to them and held out his arms, asking once more to hold the baby without forcing it.
"I’ll be careful," he promised and for that alone, Lex let him pick up Hannah. She whined a little, but soothed herself with the pat of his hand on her back and, thumb in her mouth, she kept silent. "There, see? I’m not gonna harm her."
Hannah pulled out her wet thumb only to give Lex a big smile. Lex pulled the backpack over her shoulders and tightened the straps as close as she could so nobody would steal it from her, and she followed him. At first, she was going to keep a hand on his belt so she could stop him if he tried to run away with Hannah, but at the touch, he took her hand in his big one and kept it in his palm. And she did not think he would try to run away.
"So what’s your name?" He asked.
"Dickface," she replied and snickered. Grown-ups hated it when she used bad words, so she made a point to use them often. "No, it’s Lex."
He was scanning the mall for security. She hoped he would not find it, but then if he did, she would find a moment of distraction to make an escape the moment she feared they knew too much. She had seen spy movies before. The neighbor had a television.
"Hi, Lex. I’m Tom," he said. "And the baby?"
He was looking at Hannah the way grown-ups who did not know how to interact with babies did. She wondered if he had children. How old were dads, typically? She did not have one to know.
"Hannah," she said.
She did not know why she trusted him with this. She had forgotten to make up code names. She did not know if people used their real names in California.
"A baby girl, huh?" He smiled. Hannah paid it back with a broad grin spattered with teeth here and there.
"I’m a girl too," she retorted. "She’s my sister, we’re both girls."
He looked at her with an odd amused smile. Briefly, his hand unclasped from hers to play with her hair, but then he seized it again. Somehow, she was glad that he did.
"And I’m a boy, so that’s settled for introductions," he chuckled. "Here, I think that’s a guard. Stay close."
Lex did not utter a word as Tom talked with the guard, who passed an announcement throughout the entire mall asking for the mom of a little Lex found by security. Mom never came to the mall and especially not this time of day. Everything she needed, she got her boyfriends to buy for her or she stole from Walmart. Sometimes, she asked Lex to steal for her, but not anymore. Lex would only steal for Hannah from now on.
Nobody came, of course. Tom sat with them trying to make awkward conversation for what felt like several hours, though it was impossible that Hannah would spend this much time without crying at least a little. All the time they chatted about anything and everything − though Lex refused to tell him any more information than she already had about her sister and herself. Hannah had been sitting contentedly on his lap, playing with his fingers so big in her small hands. Just on cue, she now began to fuss and squirm in his arms, and Tom had barely tried to soothe her that he squinted up his nose.
"Ah, fuck, she shat in her diaper," Lex sighed. "Well, that’s okay, I have some spares."
She opened up her backpack to show him. She was ready for California, if only she could find the way. She had packed a bottle of water, which really had used to be a bottle of Gatorade she had stolen from a third-grade kid’s backpack at school and hidden away in hers, a small pack of Oreos she was keeping for Hannah’s birthday next month, a change of onesie and her own pair of sandals in case it got too hot for sneakers. Most importantly, she had packed diapers, although she had used one already earlier this afternoon just after leaving home. Still, there were − she counted − five left. She took one from the pile and tried to pull Hannah to her from his lap.
"Do you even know how to change a diaper? You’re just a little kid."
"Do you?" She replied.
He narrowed his eyes on her as if trying to think of something smart. Finding nothing, he relented.
"I can’t go to the ladies’ with you, they’ll think I’m a pervert," he said slowly. In Lex’s arms, Hannah was sniffling, very close to full on wailing. "A’ight, I’ll wait here outside, but we really should get your mom or dad to do this."
"Well, I don’t have a dad," she said with bad mood and slammed the door to the bathroom behind her and Hannah.
The changing mat was far too high for her, so she changed Hannah on the floor. She was used to it. Hannah hated being wet or stinky. Lex herself wasn’t a fan either. A few women walked by without noticing them − or pretending they did not. She washed her hands twice and splashed droplets of water onto Hannah’s face to make her laugh, then they went back outside.
She had half expected Tom to have disappeared in the few minutes it took to change the diaper but he stood there with her backpack in his hands, staring down at the content, his brows furrowed with concern. He noticed she was back and scooted to make room for them. Hannah sat between them on the bench and stared at the people passing by. Lex wondered if she would have preferred him to be gone. She realized now how much she had trusted him, to leave the backpack with all her worldly possessions in his hands. She had been stupid to take that risk.
"I don’t think your mom’s looking for you in the mall," he said softly. He seemed sad. "Okay. Okay, we’re going to the cops."
"I didn’t do anything!" Lex cried out. She pulled Hannah to her and kissed the top of her head. "You can’t arrest us!"
"What?! Not you! Lex, I’m not leaving you kids all alone in here without your mom. You won’t tell me where you live, I can’t drive you home. This is… It’s not okay. Okay?"
"But I don’t wanna go back home!" She insisted. "I’m going to California! Hannah likes the sun and I want to be a cowboy when I grow up."
Tom’s fingers tapped nervously against his thigh. He seemed to be making every effort not to get angry.
"Well, they have cowboys in Michigan," he said eventually. "I think." He gave her back her backpack. "You can sit shotgun if you want."
Lex pinched the tip of her chin in reflection to make herself look wise.
"Twenty bucks," she said.
"Make it fifty if I get you home before night time. I don’t like this, something’s very wrong here."
Tom’s car was bright red and ancient. He proclaimed with pride that it was the same Fox body Mustang he had had since high school, but Lex had never heard of it and this seemed to disappoint him a little. On the backseat, they tucked Hannah as safely as they could between two bags of fertilizer. Tom did not have a car seat for babies.
"I was just gonna run a quick errand," he said. "I was out gardening for my girlfriend, we’ve been trying to grow vegetables, but then I saw you guys on your own and I didn’t wanna just leave you there and do nothing."
"Do you have kids?" She asked, glad to finally have the occasion.
She was sitting in the front with her backpack tucked under her legs, though there was ample space for ten backpacks, if she’d had that many things. Everything was pristine in here, as if Tom had gotten the car new yesterday unlike what he had said. Perhaps, she thought, grown-ups lied just like Mom.
"I don’t," he said and turned on the igniter. "Not yet."