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I'm Alone [You're Not]

Summary:

George didn’t usually tell anyone about his health issues. He refused to be an object of sympathy. The only people who knew the extent of his illnesses were his parents and siblings, and that was a problem. Because, after knowing Dream and Sapnap for years, he was finally getting on a flight to Florida.

He didn’t know how he would keep it hidden from them, but he was determined to do so. He just didn’t want to be pitied.

Chapter Text

“I can’t wait to see you.” Dream kicked his feet, scuffing the carpet below him. “I can’t believe it’s finally happening!”

“Mm.” George hummed. “It’s crazy. I get to live with you and Sap for three months!”

“Oh God.” Sapnap snarked, laughing. “Gogy and Dweam, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-”

Dream reached up and slapped his hand over Sapnap’s mouth, muffling the rest of his sentence. It was all in jest, the three knew they were just good friends, but Sapnap loved to steal jokes from the fans and throw them around in front of the older two like it was serious. It was just a part of the dynamic. Dream shrieked when Sapnap licked his hand, pulling away with a shout, shoving his friend away from him.

“Ewwww!” He gagged, wiping his hand on his thigh. “You’re fucking disgusting Sapnap.”

The younger cackled, finally sitting down on the second chair in the room. He kicked his feet up on the desk, pushing a stack of junk to the side. Dream scowled.

“Why do you insist on taking up as much space as physically possible?” He sighed.

“Because it annoys you, obviously.” Sapnap leaned back. “Why else would I do anything?”

“Bastard.”

George laughed to himself. He was looking forward to finally seeing his friends in real life, but he was especially looking forward to witnessing this dynamic. Dream and Sapnap had known each other a lot longer than they had known him but he didn’t mind, he fit right into the group without any trouble, and the only thing he could think about was getting on that flight and being there.

“Alright, alright, we get it.” He laughed. “You two are both idiots.”

“George!” Dream exclaimed. “How could you!? How could you betray me!?”

George only rolled his eyes fondly, watching as the two went back to scrapping on their end of the call. God, his visit was going to be a nightmare but also the best time of his life.

~~~~

When he awoke for the second time that morning, on the day of his flight, lying on the bathroom floor with his head throbbing, he knew it wasn’t going to be a good day. He had had a seizure in the middle of brushing his teeth and collapsed onto the cold tile floor, apparently hitting his head on the way down given the egg-sized bruise of his forehead. He swore under his breath, stumbling to his feet.

“Fuck…” Drawing his hand away from the bruise, he was relieved there was no blood. There was no time to investigate whether or not the fall had given himself a concussion because he needed to leave it… less than 10 minutes, and he still hadn’t gathered all his things.

A text from Dream was the last thing he saw before he ran down the stairs to the cab he had rung- see you soon george i cant wait!

That finally brought a smile to his face, sighing deeply as he collapsed into the seat. At least he was going to make his flight. It was the only thing that had gone right that day, but at least he had meeting his friends to look forward to.

~~~~

“George!” Came the shriek from across the terminal. George raised his head, barely able to focus his eyes, before two bodies were barreling into him and he was being lifted from the ground by someone much taller than him. He managed a squeak in alarm but quickly hugged the two back, laughing as he was swung from side to side. Dream was far too excited about this.

“Put me down!” He laughed. “Dream, I can’t breathe! Put me down!”

It was only then he was released, taking in a huge gasp of air, and finally got a good look at his friends. Sapnap looked exactly as he thought he would, mask on, leaning back with a hand on one hip. George could tell he was grinning, even through the mask. Dream was practically bouncing on his toes, swinging his arms up and down, obviously itching to hug his friend again. He was more disguised with a mask, sunglasses and hood, just in case someone recognized them.

“What happened to your face?” Dream asked, hand reaching up to brush the bruise.

“Wow,” George gibed, “what a greeting.”

“Oh, come on!” Dream grinned, giving George a fond roll of his eyes. “You really couldn’t expect me to ask about anything else.”

“I suppose.” George grumbled. “I fell, it’s fine. I don’t think I have a concussion.”

Sapnap frowned. “You don’t think?”

“It hurts, but that’s it. Not dizzy, no headache, blah, blah. Just gave myself a good whack.”

The two younger ones shared a look but didn’t push it any further, taking George’s bags from him and leading him out to the car. George followed, yawning into the back of his hand as he went, practically collapsing into the passenger seat once the door was opened.

“I hope you’ve got a bed ready.” He said. “I’m about to pass out.”

“Sleep it off in the car.” Sapnap called from behind him. “It’s an hour drive from here to Dream’s. Traffic is a fucking nightmare.”

“Noted.”

~~~~

The first couple of days were quiet and mostly uneventful as George got used to the new timezone and got shown around the area. He was forever glad for the combined awful streaming schedules which meant they could delay the announcement that George had arrived in Florida by a couple of weeks at least, allowing the three time to themselves without constant pressure for content. It was… relaxing, surprisingly.

George was feeling alright, which was also surprising. The bruise went down within a couple of days, leaving only a purple smudge, and he never felt any ill effects from it- a bonus in his eyes. He hadn’t felt the overwhelming anxiety that became before a seizure, nor had he had any issues with his eating or general calories intake. Maybe it was the American air, he told himself, or the looming threat of having to pay out his arse if something went wrong because American healthcare, that kept him feeling alright.

Of course, it didn’t last. A full week and a half after he had arrived, and just as long spent hanging out with his friend and having fun, he woke up feeling like shit.

The first thing he took note of was the ache in his arms and shoulders and the pounding behind his temples. He swore under his breath, turning over onto his side to scan his luggage, praying to see the bag with his painkillers in an accessible location. And… he couldn’t see it anywhere. It was probably buried somewhere under the growing mound of dirty clothes, but he didn’t have the energy or capabilities to drag himself across the room to search for it.

The three were meant to go out today, but George already knew that was off the table. He couldn’t even sit up. He definitely wasn’t going to be getting up, getting dressed and running around with his friends.

The call came about an hour later- “George!” Dream yelled up the stairs, startling the older out of his half-asleep state. “Come on man, breakfast!”

He sighed deeply but didn’t move, grimacing at the tingling in his limbs.

Dream stomped up the stairs fifteen minutes after that. “George!? Dude, we’re going in like- oh, fuck… I- are you alright?”

George only groaned, turning his head away from the crack of light let in by the now open door.

“Are you sick or something?” The taller said awkwardly, shifting in the door. He was glancing anxiously behind him every now and again, rocking from foot to foot. “You look awful.”

“Thanks.” George croaked. “Really appreciate the feedback.”

“No, I’m serious man, you look like shit. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the doctor?”

“I fucking hope not.” George coughed into his pillow. “Nah, I’m fine. It’ll pass.”

“You… sure?” Dream hesitated, gingerly stepping closer.

“Mm. Won’t be going anywhere, but I’ll live.”

“Do you want anything to eat?” George felt the bed dip as Dream sat down on it, a gentle hand rubbing up and down his back.

“No. Can’t keep anything down.” He sighed. “I’m fine Dream, I swear. I’ll just sleep it off.”

“Oh… okay.” He sounded disappointed. “I’ll come check on you in a bit. Hope you feel better soon.”

“Thanks.”

The door clicked shut and George sighed in relief, the light once again gone. He turned over onto his side and relaxed- there wasn’t much he could other than sleep or, if he couldn’t do that, lie there and hope the pain would go away.

There was always the threat of another seizure, not that he didn’t know how to deal with it, and he really needed to take his medication, but sleep came first. God, he just wanted to sleep.

So, sleep he did.

~~~~

Dream was worried. He knew George was ill fairly often, he had been on call with him almost every time his friend was too sick or too in pain to get out of bed, but seeing him like that made his heart ache. He was pale, shaky, and his face was pinched in pain, sensitive to light and apparently he was very angry about it too. Dream knew he wanted to be left alone, but he didn’t want to leave the older alone. Dream just wanted to make sure he was okay.

Sapnap saw his pout the moment his feet hit the kitchen floor.

“What’s up?” He said around a mouthful of toast. “George up yet?”

“He’s sick.” Dream grumbled. “You can go if you want to, but I don’t want to leave him by himself. He looks pretty bad.”

“Oh.” He commented. “Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“…how bad is it?” Sapnap hesitated.

“In pain and not able to get up bad.”

Sapnap winced, groaning sympathetically. “Shit, I’ll grab him some painkillers and water.”

“God, I didn’t even think about that, they’re above the fridge.” Dream reached up and pulled down a box, sifting through it to find what he wanted. “This one might work.”

“Thanks, I’ll be right back.”

Dream listened closely as his friend’s footsteps headed up the stairs, padded across a carpet and a door clicked open- a pause, then:

“DREAM!” He screamed, a thud echoing through the house. Dream shot to his feet, the panicked call sending his heart into his stomach. He bolted to George’s room.

“Sap, what the fuck- oh fuck, fuck, fuck… what do we do, oh shit!” Dream gasped as he rounded the doorway, almost running over Sapnap who was crouched on the floor with George’s head in his lap. “Sapnap what-”

“I think he’s having a seizure-” The younger confirmed his fears, just as George went from completely stiff, head thrown back and eyes fluttering, to jerking as his muscles stiffened and released. He choked out a gargled cry, eyes rolling back into his head.

“Do I call an ambulance?” Dream spluttered, panicking rising. “What do I do?!”

“I don’t know! I don’t know how these things work; I think if it… if it lasts more than a couple of minutes? But has had had seizures before? Is this, like, a new thing? Fuck, can seizures be caused by fever? Do you know if he had a fever?” Sapnap was panicking, swallowing thickly, struggling to focus on keeping George from kicking out and hitting something.

“I don’t know!” Dream wailed. “Maybe?! Fuck, I don’t know-”

And just as it seemed to be getting bad, George sucked in a gasp and stilled, face tinged grey and blue. Dream immediately leaned down and turned him onto his side in the recovery position- look, he did Scouts when he… ten, he knew that it might help something. It would stop him choking, at the very least.

Sapnap and Dream simply sat, cross-legged, by his head and tried to control their breathing and reassure themselves that he probably wasn’t dying and they just needed for him to be conscious enough to explain if this was serious and if needed to go to hospital. They shared a look- this really wasn’t how they expected the day to go.

~~~~

George remained in a catatonic state for close to half an hour, eyes fluttering under his eyelids and head rolling to the other side occasionally, once groaning and startling the shit out of Dream. Sapnap had basically folded himself into a ball, head in his knees, jolting up at every slight movement from his friend and staring at him until he stilled again.

Finally, his eyes flickered open, blinking slowly until they settled on Dream. The blonde reached out and ran a hand through his hair, giving him a gentle smile.

“Hey George.” He breathed. “Are you feeling alright? You gave us a good scare.”

“I had a seizure?” George slurred, raising one hand to his forehead. Sapnap breathed a sigh of relief- that confirmed it was something he had experienced before, and they didn’t need to freak out just yet. Well, at least more than they already had.

“Yeah, you did.”

“…Oh.” He blinked. “…my back hurts.”

“I’m not surprised.” Sapnap interjected. “You took quite a fall off the bed.”

George took a moment to process, eyes flitting between the two, before sighing and rubbing his eyes.

“I think I want to go back to sleep.”

“That might be a good idea, you look exhausted.” Dream smiled, continuing his gentle massage. “And maybe explain to us later what’s going on?”

“What?” George wrinkled his nose. “That I’m epileptic? I don’t think there’s much to explain. I was just sick and couldn’t get to my meds, it happens.”

“Sounds like there’s more to it than that.” Sapnap said, shifting closer. “Why couldn’t you get to your meds?”

“Chronic pain.”

Dream sighed. “George, maybe it might be time to just… talk to us? We’re your best friends, man, we promise we won’t think any less of you. We just want to help, promise.”

“I know.”

“Do you trust us?” Sapnap whispered.

“Yes.” George smiled.

“Do you trust us with this?”

“Yeah.” George breathed. “But I’m tired. Later.”

“Of course, later.” Dream smiled, reaching out to pull Sapnap into a side hug and squeezing George’s hand. “But I’m glad you trust us.”

“We do.” Sapnap added. “We both do.”

George fell asleep with a smile on his face, and Dream and Sapnap stayed tucked up against each other for a long time afterwards, content and reassured. It wasn’t perfect, but it would get better.