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“Satin, get that glitter off the dining room table or so help me.”
Theon looked down at him and Jeyne, who were currently doing something unholy and very sparkly to a poster board. Big, pink, shiny letters in a bubble font read ‘No Solicitors, Bitch’ across the top, while some sort of purple blob took up the bottom half.
“What even is that?” he asked, pointing to the splotch.
Jeyne lifted the board up and shook it, so that the excess glitter fell away. It was a very large dick; oddly detailed for the medium. Theon raised an eyebrow appreciatively.
“Very nice, but I don’t think you can put that in the yard, seeing as we don’t have one.”
Satin shrugged and blew a stray sparkle off of his finger.
“It’s not for the yard, hypothetical or no, it's for my bedroom door.” Jeyne nodded sagely and shook the poster, sending a shimmering cascade of glitter into the carpet. She looked down, and realizing what she had done, cringed.
“Woops.”
“Speaking of soliciting dick, when’s your boytoy showing up?” Satin, who had gotten up and made for the vacuum in the mudroom, sighed loudly. “Can you not refer to Jon as my boytoy? Pretty please?”
“My apologies, I meant to say your man -toy.”
Jeyne, who was scooping loose piles of purple glitter into her hand and trying to deposit it into the original container, cleared her throat.
“He’s coming by at eight, so is Sansa.”
“All you had to say. I’ll tell Robb eight is good then?”
“Mhm. Oh, and can you tell him to swing by the store and bring some popcorn? We’re out.”
“Jeyne, you’re a genius and I love you.”
She flapped her hand at him, and continued the labor-intensive task of corralling the glitter, which was sticking to her hands like a motherfuck.
The whirring of the vacuum made further conversation difficult, so Theon retreated to his room and called Robb.
“Hey babe, Jeyne said Sansa and Jon are coming at eight, so I guess that’s when we’re starting.”
“Great!”
“And Jeyne said to bring popcorn, we never restocked after last movie night.”
“Tell her she’s a genius and I love her.”
“Great minds.”
“Indeed.”
“See you in thirty?”
“You know it.”
He hung up, flopping back down on his bed, as the vacuuming sounds died out and quiet once again took the apartment.
He was interrupted from the nothing he was doing some time later by manic giggles floating in from the hallway. Opening his door, he was treated to the sight of Satin trying to hang up his poster, while Jeyne sat with her back to the wall, helpless with laughter.
“Just- just put it- just press harder! Oh god!” She dissolved into giggling once more. Satin had one hand on the poster, the other holding tape up to his mouth so he could bite off pieces.
“It won’t stick, dammit!”
As if it had heard his words, the poster slid to the floor despite Satin’s best efforts. “Fuck!” Theon joined Jeyne on the floor to enjoy the show. Satin held up a threatening hand. “I created you, you piece of shit! You’re supposed to stick to the goddam- Ugh.”
He gave up and propped it against the wall, peeling pieces of traitorous tape off of his door.
“I’ve never been this disappointed.” He sounded dejected.
Theon, who could never resist an opportunity, said, “And you regularly have sex with Jon, so that’s saying something.”
Satin thwacked him on the shoulder.
“Asshole.”
“Naturally.”
They sat in comfortable silence for a minute, then Theon got to his feet and offered Jeyne a hand up. “C’mon. I told Robb about the popcorn, so we should be set.”
She smiled at him, then linked arms with Satin and led him off to the kitchen, presumably to rifle through the junk drawer in search of an adhesive suitable for dick-poster hanging. Theon messed around with the couch in the living room, fiddling with the throw pillows and blankets.
He checked the time and then his phone, where he found a message from Sansa telling him she was on her way.
There was a knock on the door, after which there was a brief scuffle to determine who would open it. Satin won, which was fortunate, as it was his boyfriend who had come calling. Jon was standing there awkwardly, until he saw Satin.
“Jon! Come in!” Jon did as he was bid and entered, slinging an arm around Satin’s waist and giving Jeyne a friendly kiss on the cheek. Theon waggled his eyebrows.
“What, none for me?”
Jon looked to Satin, like he was in trouble. Satin patted his arm in a soothing manner. “Theon, I will bite you.”
“Contrary to popular belief, I am not, in fact, into that.”
“I beg to differ, I remember what I walked in on you and Robb doing at Sansa’s eighteenth birthday par-” His words were muffled by Theon’s hand over his mouth.
“Come on, you guys.” Jeyne had her hands on her hips and did not seem impressed in the slightest. “Measure dicks later, in private, preferably without me watching.”
“Yes ma’am” they chorused. Satin took Jon into the living room, so they weren’t there when the next knock happened. This time Theon got there first, and grinned when he saw who it was. Robb entered, a blue blox held aloft in his hand.
“I come bearing gifts!” He crowed in a triumphant voice, then bowed and presented the popcorn to Jeyne. She accepted the offering with a curtsy, then skipped off to the kitchen after giving him a quick hug.
Robb smiled at Theon and pulled him in for a quick kiss.
“Hey.”
“Hey yourself.”
“What’re we watching?”
“Probably something terrible.”
“No doubt.”
And then they had a less quick kiss, which was very, very nice.
“Boys, if you can stop making out in there, I need someone to reach one of the big bowls for me.” Jeyne called.
Theon was the tallest, so he went to help her. He handed a bowl to Jeyne, which she promptly poured the fresh popcorn into. She smacked his hand when he tried to steal a bite prematurely, so he stuck his tongue out at her and left.
The third and final knock came five minutes later. Theon was closest again, so he opened the door for Sansa.
“Theon!”
They hugged, and then Jeyne came around the corner, holding the bowl. “Sansa! Uh, let me-” she put the bowl down on the countertop and went over to her girlfriend. Sansa smiled and hugged her as well, pulling away after a second. She had a bit of Jeyne’s hair in her fingers, and was inspecting it closely.
“Is there glitter in your hair?”
“Long story.”
Theon chimed in from across the room. “It’s not that long. Like, a medium story, at the very most.”
Sansa rolled her eyes and picked up the bowl, following Jeyne into the living room, Theon trailing behind. Satin, Robb, and Jon all said hello to Sansa, and a very enthusiastic hello to the popcorn.
“Can we all agree to veto Robb’s documentaries this time?” Sansa asked as she settled in beside Jeyne on the loveseat.
“Yes, please. Robb, I love you, but watching ‘ Fire and Blood ’ for the thirteenth time is not a fun group movie night activity.” Theon had situated himself against Robb’s legs where he sat on the couch, Theon on the floor in front. He leaned his head back so he could look at Robb and smile. Robb flicked his nose with a finger.
“At least I’m educated.”
“Hey! Dropping out to get a GED is different than just plain dropping out, I’ll have you know.”
“All those dreams of Marine Biology, down the literal drain.”
“I will drown you.”
“Kinky.” That was Satin, naturally.
He looked pleased with this last contribution to the conversation, and leaned his head on Jon’s shoulder with a smug smile, which was difficult because he was already mostly on his lap.
“What are we watching?” Jeyne asked in fond exasperation.
“We could see if ‘ Winds of Winter’ is out yet.” Sansa suggested.
“It’s not. Don’t you think I would have dragged you to a theatre already if it was? It’s been ten years, I think it’s pretty safe to say it’s not happening.” Theon retorted, taking a large handful of popcorn.
“Not with that attitude, it’s not.” Robb said, seizing the remote from Theon’s grasp.
“Ugh. What’s that new one, with the swords and stuff? Could be fun.”
“ Ah, yes. Never before has a movie with swords in it been released to the general public. Not to mention stuff!” Jon reached over to try and wrestle the remote from Robb, who was having none of it.
“We could do ‘ Brave Danny Flint', I hear it’s sad but good.” Suggested Sansa, curled against Jeyne’s side.
“Sansa, I don’t feel like crying tonight.”
“Well then what about ‘ A Fool For You, Jonquil’? That’s not sad.”
“You and your rom-coms I swear-”
“Hey!” At Jeyne’s raised voice everyone fell quiet. “What about ‘The Dornishman’s Wife’? It’s got romance, and drama, and comedy. Also it’s supposed to not be great and we have the most fun watching bad movies.”
And since Jeyne was right about most things, they all agreed and watched a mediocre movie together, making fun of stilted dialogue and poor costuming. Robb criticsized the historical accuracy, which they all pretended to be bored by, but were secretly interested in, and it was pretty great.
It was all pretty great.