Chapter Text
[The video begins.]
An ordinary-looking human pulls their hand back from their camera. The image quality isn’t great, like they’re using the front-facing camera on their phone to film. They’re sitting in a wooden chair with an ornately carved high back, in front of a dark wood paneled wall. To their left, an equally ornate bookshelf, filled with thick, heavy, ancient-looking books, is partially visible.
“So, uh, hi everyone!” the human says, a little awkwardly. “I’m the second human exchange student here in the Devildom. You, uh, probably already heard, apparently there were news articles and pictures all over the Devildom internet before I even got settled in …” They look off to the side for a moment, making a slightly aggrieved face.
“Anyway, uh, I figured it would be cool to document my experiences while I’m here in the Devildom,” they continue. “Bring my unique human perspective to all you demons, y’know.” They do an awkward laugh and finger guns, and then clear their throat. “Yeah, so… These first couple of weeks have been … crazy. Really strange. But good? Really good.”
They go on to talk about their first few weeks living in the House of Lamentation and taking classes at the Royal Academy of Diavolo, growing more comfortable and less awkward as they go. Halfway through a story about how they learned the hard way that it’s a bad idea to pair Pride and Wrath cards together for spellcasting unless you’re prepared for the blowback, there’s the sound of a door slamming open offscreen, and the human looks off to their right.
“Oi! Human! You in here?” a voice demands.
“Mammon,” the human says, annoyed, “you promised me you would start knocking!”
“Okay, okay, I will next time, but right now you gotta --”
“No,” the human says firmly, cutting off the other person with stern authority. “Do it this time.”
A pause. A knocking sound. The human looks thoroughly unamused.
“Outside, properly,” the human says, exasperated.
“Ugh, shit, fine,” Mammon grumbles. There’s the sound of the door closing, then several loud thuds as though Mammon is banging his fist on the door.
The human sighs, rolls their eyes, and then gives the camera a raised-eyebrow look, as though they’re sharing their exasperation with the viewer. Then they say, “Come in, Mammon.”
The door immediately slams open again with a thud like it bounced off the wall, and the human winces.
This time, Mammon marches over with heavy footfalls and slides into the chair beside the human. “Oi,” he says, leaning into frame and into the human’s space, “you recordin’ a video?”
“Yes, I’m making a vlog to put on DevilTube,” the human says, pushing Mammon back a little bit; enough to get him slightly out of their space, but not so far that his face goes out of frame. “This is Mammon,” they say dryly to the camera. “I’m sure you’ve seen him out and about, causing trouble.”
He grins rakishly at the camera, and something about the sharpness of that grin briefly makes the video pixelate and distort in ways that don’t make logical sense. He brushes his pearly white hair out of his eyes (literally pearly -- even with the low quality camera, the video reveals traces of iridescence in his hair), slides his translucent gold shades down his nose, and winks at the camera over them. “Hey there, DevilTube.”
“Trying to steal the show?” the human teases.
“Gotta make sure your first vlog ain’t boring,” Mammon replies. “No way it’ll be boring now that the Great Mammon is in it!”
“Uh-huh,” the human says, amused. “Anyways, I was in the middle of a story…”
“Nah, nah, no time for that,” Mammon interrupts. “We gotta go.”
“Go?” the human says blankly.
“I said I was gonna show you around some proper Devildom casinos, didn’t I?” Mammon says impatiently. “So let’s go already!”
“Oh!” the human says, and checks their watch. “Sorry, I lost track of time, didn’t realize it was that late already.”
“Well, c’mon then,” Mammon says, starting to get up from his chair.
“Uh, I have to, um,” the human says awkwardly. They give the camera a little wave. “Well, I guess I’ll finish that story later. Um, this is me … signing off.”
They reach out, their hand briefly obscuring the camera.
[The video ends.]
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[DevilTube]
Views: 1.3M, Likes: 66k
Comments: 3839
gaveler:
@heyyyyyyy @itsyaboy @littleDNo575 @backatitagain look at this!!!
the-greatest-mammon:
FEIIFSNFNQKKJLF HIS SMILE HIS EYES THE WINKING I AM DECEASED
mememememo:
the human’s way different than I expected
→ reply by drkons_wing:
bets on how long it’ll take for them to get eaten?
→ reply by mememememo:
no way, dude, didn’t you see what happened to the demon in the other thread?
→ reply by drkons_wing:
what?
sadieth:
oh my hells I thought it was just a rumor but you can totally tell they have a pact!!!!
henry3.0:
OP you really get to live in the house of lamentation?? i’m so jealous…….
[user deleted]:
Wow, the human’s still alive? I thought for sure one of the Avatars would have eaten them by now.
→ reply by littleDNo348:
Lord Diavolo made it punishable by obliteration to eat the exchange students!
→ reply by [user deleted]:
They could always kill the human first and make it look like an accident, then eat them later. It’s what I would do.
→ reply by creezy:
what the fuck, dude
→ reply by [user deleted]:
Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same. Humans are fucking delicious.
→ reply by ButlerBarb [Admin]:
Threats of harm against the exchange students are now also punishable by obliteration. Please refer to Lord Diavolo’s latest decree here: [link]
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[YouTube]
Video not found.