Chapter Text
Ronan was sulking over his textbook because he had to actually study to get his degree in Bachelor of Agronomy. Andrew was sitting in front of him, furiously typing away his literature review as the copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray sat beside him, along with a mostly empty mug of his harshly sweet coffee and a twix wrapper. He had his glasses on, face pulled into a slight frown as he stared at his laptop screen, fingers on the keyboard churning out words.
Ronan flipped the page, highlighting important stuff for his next class before his final exam as the rain fell outside, making music. Opal was asleep in Declan's old bedroom with Chainsaw, tired after spending her day gardening before Ronan had to haul her into the house as it had started raining. It was already cold and he was dressed in two sweatshirts and the rain wasn't helping. He huffed out a breath and highlighted two more lines with his neon green pen.
"More coffee?"
Andrew responded by humming, followed by more of his laptop keys typing away. Ronan put the flyaway wrappers of candy and the empty mugs on the tray, after capping his highlighter pen and putting it in the textbook. You should use a bookmark, Lynch , Adam's voice supplied in his head. He rolled his eyes and got up.
"I'm ordering pizza."
"Sure."
"Pepperoni and jalapenos?"
"Garlic bread too. I think we have coke in the refrigerator."
"Fine."
Ronan grinned and Andrew gave him a look that was close to a smile. He was walking to the kitchen when there were multiple knocks on the door. He kept the tray carefully on a table and went out to open the door, giving Andrew a shrug, who was looking at him questioningly.
He definitely did not expect this.
Adam Parrish stood on the front porch, fully wet from head to toe. His dusty hair soaked and sticking to his forehead, a few strands of it poking his eyes. Ronan tucked the loose strands away from Adam's eyes and Adam stared at him, before Ronan realised what he was doing and pulled away.
It had been almost two years since he'd last seen Adam in person, before he had left for Harvard and Blue, Gansey and Henry had left for their world trip and Noah had gone to LA for college. He hadn't changed much, just gotten more beautiful. He wasn't the tall, lanky thing anymore from when they were nineteen. This Adam Parrish was a piece of art. A piece of art that was currently dripping wet on Ronan's front porch on the orange welcome mat. It also definitely did not help that his wet clothes stuck to his body, making Adam look like some sort of a modern sculpture.
The first thing he felt was a pang of pain, of failure. Of not being able to help Adam get out of the hellhole that was his trailer. When he'd gone back after dropping Adam and had gone to school the next day to find Adam absent and being told that he was in the hospital. He didn't remember much, just bits and pieces of him and Gansey driving to the hospital to see Adam. Ronan felt sick, inside out seeing this beautiful boy broken and breaking for no fault of his. To see Adam asleep, for the fleeting peaceful moment, his face bruised and swollen and a bandage around his ear. They'd had their biggest fight because Ronan wanted to help him get out and Adam didn't want his help, or anybody's for that matter.
"Parrish, what the fuck are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry for taking this long." God he had missed this voice, the low rasp, monotone but Ronan was a master at recognising the emotion laced under it.
"Huh?"
"I wasn't ready before, for this", Adam gestured at the space between them. "Now I think I am. Maybe I'm not. But I might want this."
Ronan's heart started beating faster. "What? The fuck?"
"I want this. Like for real, Ronan."
It was anything that would absolutely be the death of Ronan, it would be Adam calling his name.
Ronan .
"Parrish, are you kidding me? Is this some kind of joke?"
"No. You think I'd bully Neil into driving me here in this fucking weather to play a prank on you?" He snapped.
"I don't fucking know. You haven't talked to me in almost two years and now you show up at ass o'clock and tell me you want to be my boyfriend? It has been two whole ass years since we've seen each other. Two years since you left and didn't look back." Ronan took a breath.
"I get it you're busy doing your Harvard shit but I was like, one phone call away. I don't care about my phone for shit but you know damn well I would've picked up."
Adam flinched. Ronan felt like an asshole and instantly regretted his words. Adam gave him a stiff nod and began to walk away, the water soaking him again.
"Adam Parrish, get your ass back in here!" Ronan yelled. His own voice didn't feel like his, it felt like a stranger's.
He closed his eyes. Andrew called out his name before he heard the chair creak. Andrew came and put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
"He's stopped", Andrew said calmly.
Adam was staring at him, the rain falling on him. There were streams of water running down his face and still Ronan would make out Adam's tears. He turned and looked at Andrew, Andrew stared at him blankly.
"Don't cut him with your words and he won't cut you with his."
"God, I hate it when you're philosophical."
Andrew responded with a small tug of his lips, a ghost of a smile lingering before he walked back inside. Ronan walked out, barefeet and felt his sweater becoming wet as walked closer and wrapped an arm around Adam. It was Adam's wet cheek pressed against his chest as they stood in the rain, Adam's arms around his back, their weight comfortable.
"Don't go. Gansey wouldn't like it if he found out you drowned while driving or something", he whispered into Adam's good ear. "You think I'd let you go after you've shown me your stupid face after two years? Think again, Parrish."
"Ronan please."
More than Gansey, Ronan knew he wouldn't let Adam go back in this hell of a weather. He caught Adam's hand and pulled him inside the house. Adam removed his wet shoes by the door and stood on the door mat, which was fully soaked too, and muddy. Andrew frowned at them before pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn't ask who Adam was because he probably recognised him from the photos.
"Andrew? Coffee?" Ronan asked. " Si placet? "
Andrew blinked at him.
Si placet? Would you please? Simple words that meant the same but didn't sound like the words Andrew hated to hear, Adam wondered.
"Fine. Go get changed."
Ronan nodded and thanked him before he gestured at Adam to follow him upstairs. It was dripping water everywhere and they walked upstairs but Ronan didn't care. He switched on the bathroom lights and opened the door.
"There's a spare towel in the cupboard, I'll get you some dry clothes."
Adam nodded, looking at his feet. Ronan tucked two fingers under Adam's chin and made him look at him. Darkened ocean blue stared at Ronan's icy blue ones. He placed his hand under Adam's cold jaw.
"I'll not let you go before we've talked."
"Okay."
Ronan was about to go back when he realized Adam hadn't come alone from Cambridge.
"Shit. Where's Josten?"
Adam's eyes widened and he began to get out but Ronan placed a hand on his chest and stopped him.
"You shower. I'll change and get him inside. Did you guys get clothes and shit?"
"Yeah, I'm done for the semester. Results will come out next month."
"Fine. I'll get Neil, you take a shower and get warm."
Adam nodded and Ronan stepped out of the bathroom and heard the click of the door as Adam closed his. He quickly dumped his wet clothes into the laundry basket and shivering, changed into dry, warm ones. He got a spare tee-shirt and a thick sweater and a pair of sweatpants for Adam's and put them on the bed.
He grabbed an umbrella and grabbed a rag of cloth and wiped the water from the floor and the steps as we walked down. He went into the kitchen, where Andrew was adding coffee into a pot of milk. The rain was still pouring as Ronan could see the little streams of water cascading down the glass window panes.
"Parrish is taking a shower. I'm going out to get Neil."
Andrew responded with a nod, stirring the milk and Ronan left after slipping into his rain boots. He opened up the umbrella and got out, his jeans already soaking up as he walked outside. He found a grey Chevrolet parked beside the Maserati and knocked on the fogged up window. The window rolled down and Ronan saw Neil Josten, all ginger curls and icy blue eyes and scars. His face was expressionless and he was visibly shivering in the driver's seat.
"Neil?"
"Ronan?"
"Yeah man. Let's get your bags and you inside, I hate this fucking weather."
Neil gave him a small smile and got out and stood under Ronan's umbrella. They got his and Adam's bags and walked back towards the house. They were walking under the large umbrella when Neil slipped and Ronan quickly moved to catch him, the bags falling in the process and because of his sheer luck, Ronan slipped too, his arm around Neil to steady him. They both fell backwards and Ronan hit his head on the ground which thankfully didn't land on something hard and he let out a loud oof as Neil fell on his chest. Ronan quickly pulled his arm away as Neil froze at the sudden fall.
"Neil? Are you okay?"
No reply.
"Neil?"
With no reply yet again, Ronan tapped two fingers on the bridge of Neil's nose and Neil blinked at him before he heaved a breath.
"Shit."
"Neil?"
"Sorry, I-"
"Calm down. We both need a shower now", Ronan said with a smile..
Neil let out a chuckle of his own as they both got up, wet and muddy and Ronan picked up the bags and Neil got the umbrella and they got to the porch and Ronan chucked away his boots, not wanting to dirty the porch more than it already was as they both were already dripping with muddy water. He opened the door and they both quickly tiptoed to the first floor and Ronan showed Neil to the second bedroom and Neil thanked him as he took his bags and disappeared.
Ronan removed his sweaters and threw them away into the laundry hamper along with Adam's clothes before he went to his bedroom. He dumped Adam's bag rather unceremoniously on the floor because he was utterly loathing the cold that was there today, but at least the rain had decreased now. Adam was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking outside, dressed in Ronan's clothes. Ronan closed the door, and Adam turned to look at him. His gaze went from Ronan's eyes to his body and Ronan realized he was half-naked in front of Adam. He opened his wardrobe to hide his face and took out clothes.
"Stop gawking, Parrish", he muttered.
"I-" Adam began but didn't say anything further.
He quickly grabbed his clothes and shut himself in the bathroom. He let out a satisfied groan as the water flowed and the hot shower hit his body. He washed out the mud from his hair and back and wrapped himself in a towel and went out, instantly missing the warmth as the cold air hit his bare skin. The room was now empty and the door was ajar. He swore under his breath as he quickly dressed again, for the millionth time in a day. He went out and knocked on Neil's bedroom. Neil opened the door, his hair doubled in volume in size and a towel hung around his neck. Ronan let you a chuckle and Neil scowled at him.
"Nothing, it's just your hair." He gently patted Neil's hair. "It looks like a lion's mane."
Neil let out a huff which was equal parts amused and equal parts not-amused as he tried to tame his hair. Ronan told him to get down to the kitchen for coffee and he opened Declan's bedroom door. Opal was still asleep, buried under a pile of blankets and Chainsaw was awake. She squawked and flew over and sat on Ronan's shoulder, pecking at his ear. Ronan pet her, running his finger along her back as he closed the door behind him and walked downstairs.
Andrew was back to his work and Adam was nursing a cup of coffee, his finger running circles around the rim of the cup as he looked outside. Because Chainsaw was an extension of him for some reason, she flew and sat on Adam's shoulder, pecking at his ear affectionately. Andrew, who was watching this interaction, gave Ronan a smug look. Ronan ignored it as he watched Adam smile and pet her, and Chainsaw squawked in response.
"I missed you too, Chainsaw", he said as Chainsaw hopped around the table, Adam's hand following her as she flapped her wings.
Ronan poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down in front of Adam. Adam stiffened a little but Ronan huffed at him.
"I'm not going to yell at you if you talk, Parrish", he said.
"I know. I don't know what to say", Adam admitted in a whisper.
"How long are you staying?"
"I've to be back to Cambridge by Monday noon at most. Work."
Three days, two nights.
That was all he had before Adam would leave again, leaving Ronan's life uprooted. The life he had tried had to plant after Adam left, nurtured it so there wouldn't be an Adam shaped hole in the ground, and one in his heart. Adam would leave and leave the pieces broken and shattered and missing in Ronan's wake and Ronan would pick them up, piece by piece and hand them in his handkerchief and tuck them away in his chest.
Ronan waved at Neil who was searching for the kitchen. He didn't understand why Neil suddenly froze after looking at Andrew. Not that Andrew looked any different, but he had stopped working by the way the typing had ceased and was staring at Neil as if he'd seen a ghost. Ronan and Adam shared a look, but both of them were equally confused.
"Neil", he said.
"Andrew", Neil replied.
"What the fuck are you doing there?"
"I could literally ask you the same, asshole".
For a moment there was utter silence, except for the light drizzle of the rain from outside. Andrew got up from his chair and left the kitchen and into the living room while Neil came and sat beside Adam, a frown pulled on his face. Ronan got up and poured Neil a cup of coffee too. He looked through the shelves and found a pack of cookies and put them on a plate and in front of Adam and Neil.
"I'll go check on Andrew", he said.
Andrew was calmly sitting on the loveseat in the living room, legs dangling and glasses pushed above his forehead as he absent-mindedly looked outside. Ronan sat beside him, on the carpet. He drew his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.
"Andrew?"
"Hmm?"
"How do you even know Neil?"
"I don't know him. He's nothing."
"You're not a good liar."
"And you should stop asking questions."
"Fine. Go sulk."
Ronan got up and grabbed his textbook back and continued to read, sitting on the sofa with his legs stretched long on the coffee table. It wasn't like he was annoyed with Andrew, he was annoyed that Andrew was deflecting. He opened and put away the cap of his highlighter and continued to read. He could faint noises coming from the kitchen but let Adam and Neil be, not wanting to intervene.
He was done reading through two more pages when Andrew sat down beside him, playing with the cap of the pen. He continued to read, highlighting words and flipping pages.
"We were together. For almost a year", Andrew whispered.
"What the fuck? How even?"
"Back when we were in high school, I stayed with Bee and Aaron and the others at Palmetto. And then I got accepted here and he went to London and I knew it wouldn't work out. I didn't even know he came back."
"Andrew."
Andrew let out a breath. "I should've tried."