Chapter Text
"Don't stand there like that. Don't stand there like you didn't leave me to die. All of you knew what they did to me, you saw it and you did fucking nothing. God, I can't believe I ever thought any of you cared about me."
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
*4 weeks earlier*
God, he was stupid. How weak was he that he got kidnapped and had to be rescued by fucking Deku. He needed to train more. He was too weak. This could never happen again. He already knew how his parents would act. His mom is gonna be so pissed. First, he embarrasses them at the sports festival and now this! God, he was screwed.
Bakugou Katsuki was an embarasment.
He was weak and he was useless.
Or at least he was according to Mitsuki Bakugou.
And besides the fact that she had screamed those exact words at him for 3 hours, he knew this because when she finally dragged him home she put him in the room. Technically it was his room. But it was one of those things where you don't want to think of it as yours because you know who's it was before.
His eyes were slightly blurry for all the hits he took on his head, courtesy of his mother. They half-heartedly scanned the room, really only checking for knives or mouse traps on the bed before he passed out. He was never quite sure what his mother was going to do when she got mad. She likes to switch it up, finding which provides the most pain and least screams. When he saw none, his legs stumbled over the mattress and conveniently collapsed right as he got there. A long pained sigh made its way past his lips and he finally gave in to the pounding in his head and closed his eyes.
It didn't last for long though, his father soon knocking softly on the door. Dreary eyes rolled, already knowing the fake sympathetic lecture coming. Masaru's brown eyes shined with pity and a hint of blame only recognizable to someone who's been on the other end of it for years.
"Katsuki, you should have been more careful. Imagine what would have happened if the pros didn't rescue you, hm? Were you thinking about how this could affect your mother and me?"
Kat wanted to scream, or cry, or something but he knows the minute he does his dad will just bring his mother into it and he doesn't want to deal with her again today. His head is pounding enough as it is. Instead, he gives a slow sorry, almost sounding sincere.
Masaru accepts it and leaves with an "I want you to think about what you've done."
Kat knows he will because the image of All Might laying on the ground skinny and bleeding is burned into his brain. The look All For One had as he laughed, laughed at the dying body of the world's greatest hero. It makes him sick knowing that it was his fault. His parents are right, if only he was stronger, better, All Might wouldn't have come to save him and would still be able to work as a pro hero. Katsuki never thought he'd be the one to bring down his childhood idol.
He's disappointed in himself. All the training, fighting, and sacrifices he made so he could be number 1 ended up ruining the best there ever was. Who was going to want to sign him when he was the reason the symbol of peace had to retire. God, if recovery girl hadn't healed All Might fast enough he could have been the reason he was dead .
He could have killed All Might. He...he could have killed Deku. Oh god, he could have killed Kirishima. Everyone would have hated him for that. He could have been the reason 1-A lost their ball of sunshine. The reason his best friend died. He could see it. The blood leaking slowly out of his skull. The fear in Kiri's eyes as he laid on the floor losing feeling in his body. The realization that he was going to die. and the hatred. Oh, Katsuki could see the hatred so clearly when Kirishima mouthed the words "It's all your fault".
Bakugou has panicking now, his lungs struggling to take in enough air as his hands wrapped around his throat. He was trying to rip at an invisible noose, nails tearing small cuts in his skin. He knew it hurt, he could feel the sting of the air and the wetness as small drops of blood trickled down his neck but he couldn't stop. He deserved this...
He
He was the reason
He was the reason everyone died
The reason everyone was gone
Dead
Retired
Captured
Injured
Paralyzed
Dead
Dead
Everyone
Everyone was dead
All because of him
Him
His throat was closing, the hands tightening around it as he fell deeper into his panicked state. The tears were streaming down his face now, everything he held in when he was kidnapped so they wouldn't think he was weak, spilling out of his eyes. He cried. He cried for how he failed. He cried for how he ruined All Might. He cried for making it worse with his parents.
Katsuki's eyes flutter shut from lack of air, hands dropping away from his neck as he slams his head on the corner of his bed. The pain barely registering as he slips into unconsciousness.
What a great fucking day.