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Chapter Text

In Gakushuu’s defense,

who would have thought that a perfectly normal amount of caffeine, thank you very much; would result in a seizure. 

***

It had started off as sheer curiosity. The principal had given him money as a reward for ranking first consistently throughout the second year. Gakushuu was ecstatic, he was finally allowed some freedom in his very tight schedule. The principal did not approve of unnatural foods that negatively affected the brain. He had grown up with a diet consistent with whole grain and healthy home cooked meals. Gakushuu could tell you the last time he had sugar. He could count on his fingers, the number of times he was allowed to eat take out. 

So the day after his father gave him Money, Gakushuu went to the cafe that stood between the school and his house. When he looked at the menu he felt sweat drip from his forehead. frappuccino- americano-affogato- Who knew that there were this many flavors of coffee? Was coffee a genre of art?! 

To no one's surprise Gakushuu quickly got hooked on caffeine. It was common to see him holding a cup of coffee before class. When he showed up with two cups, one for the morning and one for the afternoon, no one batted an eye. 

That's Asano for you, Sometimes i think that that he runs solely on caffeine alone

I wouldn't expect any less from our student council prez

Third year was when it got worse. If you asked one of the five Virtuous, they would say that Gakushuu could handle himself. (Future note: DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. HE CANNOT)

See, Gakushuu was raised in a … certain type of household. A type of household where anything lower than first is unacceptable. Anything but gold is a big red mark.

 He remembers being 8 and winning second place in a particularly hard math commintition. The judge had approached him after the event, telling him that he should be proud of how high he scored. He remembers being happy. Scoring high while faced against people double his age was a feat children his age could only dream of.  

In the corner of his eye Gakushuu saw his father patiently waiting for him to finish the conversation with the judge. His father led him out of the building. A firm grip on his forearm. The principal stared at him. His dull eyes turned sharp, and the smile Gakushuu was so familiar seeing, seeped into his face like poison.

His father pushed him into the car as he signalled the driver to start moving.

Gakushuu held on to his silver trophy like a lifeline. 

(Be silent, boy. 

For now,

you will learn)

“Asano, do you know the first man to step foot on the moon?” His father questioned. 

“Neil Armstrong.” Gakushuu answered, his voice wavering. Fear flooded his body, where was his father going with this?

“Hm. Do you know who was the second?” 

He racked his brain . Who was it?! Adrien? No! Faster! He had to be quick before the principal-

“You don’t know. Do you know why that is?” Gakushuu stayed silent. Everything was foggy, had he failed? What had he done wrong? Before gakushuu could waste any more time with his thoughts, a rough hand grabbed him by the jaw. 

“Listen to me closely. No one remembers the man who came second. You can’t remember his name because he doesn't matter. You don't matter unless you come first. When you’re first, you discover it all, you achieve high lengths. You break records. People who place second are only walking into the footsteps already made in front of them. That disgusting silver trophy you're holding so tightly, it means nothing. Nothing. At. All.” His father snatched the trophy out of his grasp, scraping him in the process. 

Snap

Gakushuu's eyes widened. He wanted to cry, to scream, to yell. He stayed silent. He knew better. 

“This isn't a prize. This is a reminder that you failed. That no one will remember you. That you're useless.” The principal rolled the car window down. Throwing the silver trophy onto the ground as if it were a piece of disposable trash. “From now on, I don't want you to be better. Make yourself the best. Crush everyone that comes in your way. Make sure they don't even have a chance to retaliate” 

“Yes, sir” Gakushuu’s voice trembled.  A myriad of thoughts running through his head. 

He's right, I couldn't even remember that man's name. 

If I couldn't remember it, how would others remember mine?

How will I become strong, if no one can see me?! 

Turns out putting extreme amounts of pressure on a child, does in fact lead him to cope with unhealthy methods. Yes, Asano Gakuhou children do need support from their parents to have a healthy active mind. 

Gakushuu developed a kind of … mentality due to his living conditions. Rules for his survival. Ways to make sure he was always one step ahead of the principal. One of those rules was to put his grades above everything. 

Most people just skipped outings with their friends, Gakushuu wasn't like that. Studying was not a chore to him. It was not a way to learn something new. It was how he survived. The principal wouldn't bother you if he saw you were working. Survival trump all. It trumps meals, and it certainly trumps sleep. He couldn't be distracted, he couldn't risk it.

 Not when the centipede was crawling and scratching and biting his skin.  Not when the centipede whispered and screeched in his ear. Telling him that no matter what he does, or how much he tries, it will never be enough. The centipede is a parasite that controls every part of him. A small ant can't escape it. It would be foolish to even try. 

So yes, Gakushuu often skips sleep. Instead he stays up with workbooks, textbooks and anything that will distract him. Coffee fits into this very well. It helps him focus, helps him stay on guard. A cure to all the side effects of his lack of sleep. It helps him be untouchable. Unreachable to an average human. 

(foolish boy, don't you know? 

You cannot run 

You cannot slip 

For its head is attached to your soul)

Chapter Text

People assume that Gakushuu is a gifted kid. It wouldn't be an inaccurate hypothesis, with his perfect grades and careless attitude. It looks as if The Asano’s ™ floats above problems normal humans have to face.  The (very shameful) truth is that Gakushuu is average .  Unfortunately, his father's superhuman genes did not think to transfer when it came to IQ.  Don't get him wrong, he is still plenty smart.  But it means that when midterms and finals approach, Gakushuu has to decide between being alive and getting a god forbid 410 on his grade, or being killed by his terrible sleep schedule and landing a 500. 

So yes, he went from drinking 2 cups of coffee a day to drinking 5 cups, and if those five cups turned to 9, who was one to question him.  It was the last year of junior high after all.  Every part of his future will depend on this year. 

(So what if his hands shake at random times, and he sways when he stands up.  Its no one's business but his) 

During the first day of midterms, Gakushuu felt weird .  Not “ I have a high fever but fuck that” weird or “Did the principal try to poison me again?” weird.  It was as if every part of him felt numb.  His mind was filled with a deep black fog, and he couldn't see his own arm.  Every time he moved it was as if something was pulling him back. Someone with healthy coping mechanisms would see this as a sign to go to the nurse or even book an appointment at a clinic. Gakushuu walked into the Midterm exam room with his head held high.  Pushing away any feeling of discomfort or disorientation he had.

It only got worse from there 

When he looked at the exam packet he found that the words started to swirl off the page. Gakushuu suddenly felt about of dread.  He pushed past the waves of nausea that started flooding his body and quickly walked out of the room.  When the exam room door finally shut, Gakushuu felt his body drag him down to the floor.  He tried to get up but it was as if something was pushing him down.  In the distance, he could hear the tapping of carefully paced steps.  They moved close and closer. 

Tap     tap     tap      tap    tap

Gakushuu tried to fight his body, tried to stay conscious, but the more he fought the more exhausted he felt.  Everything was buzzing, too loud yet too quiet.  His eyes slipped close when the tapping finally came to a stop. Black filled his vision and his mind went quiet.

(Foolish boy, 

You dare to fade,

and the truth shall lay untold)

***

Gakushuu awoke to blurry white luminescent lights.  When his eyes finally found focus Gakushuu realized that he was in a hospital.  He sat up, ignoring the aches in his body.  In the corner of the room, he heard a tut. Gakushuu snapped his head to see a person in a white lab coat standing in front of him.

“Asano-Kun, it's great to see you awake.” The man in the lab coat said in a seemingly polite tone.  Hearing someone else's voice pulled him back into reality, Flashes of what happened bled into his memory.  Before he could dwell on his thoughts anymore the man started to talk again.

“Ah, you must be confused. I am Dr. Nayashi, and you're at Kousei Hospital at the moment.  You had a non-epileptic seizure or NES. I believe it was caused by the great amounts of strain you were putting your body through. As well as the copious amounts of caffeine we found in your blood tests.” Dr. Nayashi finished talking and continued to stare at Gakushuu. 

They both stared at each other before Gakushuu realized that he had forgotten to reply, “How long have I been here?” He questioned. Keeping voice crisp and sharp.  Just like he had been taught. 

“You've been unconscious for 2 days.  Nothing serious, just exhaustion.  You seem like a very… occupied person, Asano-Kun, is there another potential cause for this seizure that I need to be informed about?” Dr. Nayashi frowns. 

“Why should that matter to you?  Your profession is being a doctor not being a therapist” Gakushuu scoffed.  Who did this man think he is, asking questions like that out of the blue

Dr. Nayashi barks a laugh.

“The nurses don't lie when they say kids in junior high have a temper.  You don't seem to be in a questioning mood so I’ll get to the point.  Usually after your first seizure, a second seizure can occur again in two years. This is standard and normal information. What I'm concerned about is a second seizure that could occur faster than the normal rate.  I have some resources for mental health over here. ” 

Gakushuu scowled.   Does he think I'm weak I can handle a seizure it's not that big of a deal  “That won't ha-  

Dr. Nayashi cut him off “ you're going about this the wrong way.  Your body does not mind my language, give a single shit if you don't want to have a seizure.  Asano-Kun, your health is a big deal.  I know you don't believe me now but please at least think about what I'm saying right now.  Before you end up regretting it. ” He gives him a small piece of paper with a contact list on it. 

Gakushuu blinked.  Reaching out his hand to grip the paper. Everything coming out of Dr. Nayashi’s mouth was true,  maybe just maybe I could reach out for once? 

But help takes work and time. Time I could spend studying, time I could spend being stronger, being the best. People look down on you for wanting help. They don't trust you and if they can't trust you, how can you control them? You can't be on the top if you have to rely on people beneath you. 

What was he thinking, him needing help?  The Asanos didn't do help. There must be another reason why this happened. There had to be.

Come to think of it, Dr. Nayashi said that there were copious amounts of caffeine in his blood works. He didn't need help, he just needed to quit drinking coffee. It was that simple. This isn't a sign that his mental health was straining. As if. 

No, this is because of the caffeine. It's all because of it. 

(Tired boy, 

Don't you know? 

You tumble before you break) 

Chapter Text

Before leaving, Dr. Nayashi told him he was free to go home as soon as he wished. Gakushuu let out a breath. It was fair to say he was not having the best day or better phrased week. He felt exhausted and wanted to do nothing more than to just lay in bed.  Gakushuu knew that wasn't an option though, as the principal would be waiting for him at home.  Gakushuu was certain that the principal would not be happy with his recent incident.  His hands were shaking in fear just thinking about it.  He had been an obedient little dog, played right into the principal's greedy hand and yet a weak drug was his downfall.  There was no point in denying it. 

 He had lost. 

How could he have lost?! 

This was the game he had been playing his whole life, the game that influenced everything around him, and all it took was a little tumble to send him down the hill.  He had planned out every aspect of his life around success.  Sure, nothing comes without failure but Asano Gakushuu had tasted failure enough to know he didn’t want it on his tongue.  This… incident had left him with the feeling of complete and utter demise. 

Gakushuu thought about packing his bags and running away, but the probability that the director would find him was high.  Making the principal angrier wasn't something he wanted to risk either. 

Gakushuu sighed, took out his phone and called their family driver. This hospital wasn't too far from home and wasting his time taking the subway would just make him irritated. There was no point in dwelling anymore, he had to face the music, or in this case the psychotic director of his middle school. 

He was just about to sulk in peace when a loud PING interrupted him. 

Gakushuu swiped at the notification to see a laundry list of text messages from his best friend, and local Himbo Ren. 

3:10 PM GAkushuu 

*shuuu

ASSano 

Dude where you at

7:32 AM It's second midterm days, 

Are you sick or smth? This isn't like you

2:15 PM you missed all of the midterm exam days. The director looked extra furious. 

5:22 PM Went to visit your house today, but the director said you weren't there 

    I’m worried about you 

Ren had been his best minion for six years now. He was loyal and kind, (and lately kind of a skeeze) as well as insanely good at English to the point that he could be half american. One would think that with the way he acts at school,  he would be a little more reserved, but Ren is an absolute mess. He is usually going through a myriad of girls, resulting in a myriad of breakups. Leaving him very emotional and very clingy. 

When Gakushuu was younger, this constant clinginess was somewhat comforting. Most children loved it when school was over, they had something to look forward to when they got home. Whether it was pets, their parents, or their siblings. Gakushuu was truly alone. School was a paradise, a breather before the real work started. The calm before the storm. Ren had been one of the only people to approach Gakushuu, most of his classmates were scared off by his intellect, or annoyed at his ‘know it all’ attitude so they stayed wary of him. 

Ren was… his only friend. For a long time it was just the both of them against the world. A lot of things were wrong, but at least they had each other. 

Lately though things started to change. He started to change. The principal’s ideologies started to get to him. They made him crueler.  He  would often criticize Ren; Ignoring him in  favor of making sure that principal didn’t get ahead of him. It has affected their relationship (if you could even call it that).

It wasn't that Gakushuu agreed with everything his father talked about.  He and his father had different opinions on many topics.  It was more that gakushuu had been hearing these words, these ideals for a long time. Objecting to them would be like telling the pilot of a moving  plane to stop flying it just because he didn't like the way the pilot was controlling it. When you keep hearing the same things over and over again they start to invade your every being, until resisting them feels wrong. It had nothing to do with opinion and everything to do with control. 

Gakushuu wonders how his life would have been if he had a normal family. A father who actually cared. Cared enough to treat gakushuu like a son, and not a failed lab experiment. Cared enough to scold him when he stayed up too late, or tell him to sharpen up. They lived in the same house, under the same roof. Yet Gakushuu knew nothing about his dad. The last time they had an active conversation was two months ago. 

Chapter Text

The Asano home looks nothing short of what a normal family’s house looked like. It was filled with all sorts of trinkets. Medals, awards, and ribbons, all first place of course. There were tables, chairs and some paintings. Nothing seemed off, at first glance, but look a little closer, and you will find hidden secrets. 

Pay attention to the cupboards. Keep a close eye on the ones that are locked. Dare to open the one under the kitchen sink. Inside you will find a dog bowl. It's a rustic sort of blue. With orange paint on it. It spells “ASANO” in old paint, the letters only a breath away from being chipped off. It stares at you. It makes you wonder. 

 Who names their dog after their family name? The more you  think the faster you realise. 

The Asano’s don't own a dog. 

They don't seem the type to invite strays.

You want to speak, but it's better to stay silent. Keep wondering to yourself. Don't voice your thoughts. It may seem like you’ll make it out alive, but you're already long gone. 

(don't kid yourself, coward child

No one believes the boy who cried wolf

They fear his lies, his truth, his eyes) 

__ 

The car drive home was silent, like it always was. Gakushuu kept playing around with the paper Dr. Nayashi had given him. He didn't have the heart to throw it away. He didn't know why he still had it. Nothing made sense anymore. No point in trying to get rid of it now.  The principal checks the trashcans anyways. 

By the time they reached home it was already dark out. The hospital wasn't far from where Gakushuu lived but it was already late in the day when he had woken up. Rin, his driver kept giving him worried glances. He didn't know if it was pity because of what was going to happen soon, or because he looked like an elephant crushed him. Gakushuu kept his face trained to the window. No fucking point in delaying what was going to come. He wasn't going to cower away like a weak little kid. This was his fault and he would deal with the consequences. 

When the car finally came to a stop, Gakushuu walked out with his head held high and his hands firmly in his pocket. He walked inside the house, past his bedroom and into the principal's study. The principal looked at him with a sharp gaze.

“Asano-kun. I was wondering when you would return to the premise.” Before Gakushuu could answer with a snappy comeback his father continued “ I didn't know it would happen so soon, but what can we do, it was bound to happen.” 

Ominous dramaqueen.  “I fail to see meaning in what you said.” Gakushuu managed to spew out. He tried to think of something else to say, but his father beat him to it 

“You ‘fail to find meaning’? How… disappointing . I always thought you were my star student. It seems I misjudged you.” A smile spread across the principal's face.  A smile that looked honey sweet, and tasted like cyanide; acidic and bitter.  A smile that meant only one thing. Gakushuu wanted to shout. “ I'm not your student! I'm your son!” Not that it would make anything better. His father only saw him as a pawn. A lab test. You feed it, and give it a home but only as long as it does your dirty work. 

The principal seemed annoyed at the sheer thought of having a conversation with Gakushuu. “There is no point in mindless chit chat Asano-kun. If you have anything important to say, please say it. Otherwise take your leave. ” Gakushuu didn't wait to be told again. He rushed out of the study and made his way to his room. 

Gakushuu didn't want to admit it, but he was confused. The principal played mind games that often twisted every sense of morality Gakushuu had. This was nothing new. Waiting was just another part of the game. This time felt different though. His stomach was churning at the thought of what would come. 

(What are you, coward child?

Your blue from head to toe, 

Yet you still bleed red.)

____

Gakushuu went through the morning like he normally would. He got ready, brushed his hair and put on some concealer (fuck acne). When he made his way downstairs to grab a bite, he found something staring back at him. 

A bowl sat on the table. It was round and narrow. It was bright blue. It was made by humans, but it wasn't for them. Something keen to regret filled every fiber of his being. The principal sat opposite to the bowl with a plate filled with Nattō. He stared at Gakushuu with a gleeful expression. Gakushuu looked at the bowl and back at the principal. 

Surly he wouldn't go this far? This is a step too close to insanity for him. 

“Asano-kun, what seems to be the matter?” The principal bore a confused expression. As if he didn't place a bowl, not just any bowl, a dog bowl and told his son of 15 years to eat from it. It doesn't matter though because Gakushuu sits down anyway. Like the obedient little dog he is. 

At least he can rely on one notion. The principal sure is a fucking bitch

He scowls, knowing there was little point in making a scene. In a way he should be thankful. The principal wasn't even starving him this time. He got the better end of the bargain after making such a dire mistake. Gakuushuu sucks up his pride and begins to eat. The principal made his move, now the turn was his. There are hundreds of empty spaces. Hundreds of techniques to use. Yet he can't help but mirror the move made by his opponent. Right now his only goal is defeating the man opposed to him. Everything else comes second.

 ____

Gakushuu was called to the principal's office as soon as the school bell rang. He felt uneasy. Something was coming. His father was planning something. 

When Gakushuuu entered the office, the principal sat on the only chair in the room. The usually empty desk was filled with papers. When he looked closer he could see some of the files had the word confidential stamped in the middle of them.  

“Asano-kun, take a seat” and Gakushuu would, if the principal hadn’t purposely removed all the chairs in the office. Further proving the fact that he shared DNA with  the most dramatic man alive. 

“Thank you, but I would rather stand.” Gakuushuu plastered a fake smile that matched the principals. 

“Suit yourself. Asano, it may not be a surprise, but I am here to talk about your behavior, specifically your absence from the Mid-term exams. As you know this school doesn't tolerate tardiness. You must not forget that students in our school strive to be the best. Missing such a big exam, due to a minor health inconvenience is unacceptable.” Gakushuu scoffed. 

“Minor?! I was unconscious for 3 days, after having a seizure. I don't think that counts as minor, Director.” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

 A spike of fear spread through his body so much for being a step ahead of him. Once again his weak mind got in the way of everything. 

The principal simply stared. “Did you know Asano, 10 percent of the worldwide population has had a seizure in their lifetime? You are not special, nor are you exempt from your duties.” He could feel the principal's breath behind him. Gakushuu didn't know when the principal moved, but his presence invaded every space around him.  “I sculpted you, made your mold yet you still broke.  You're the only one to fault for your demise. Don't speak as if you have any authority here . You talk big, but at the end of the day, you're nothing but a scared little boy.” The principal grinned, a crazed look in his eyes. 

To further prove his point, the principal raised his palm -Gakushuu flinched- to smooth out the dust on his clothes. 

Gakushuu was paralized. He knew it was his fault. He knew he was the one to blame. But hearing the principal say the words hurt more than he would like to admit. Gakushuu tried to think of something, anything to say but his mouth stayed shut. A swirl of emotions burned around him. His stomach felt tight, his eyes wet. Gakushuu took in a sharp inhale, and willed away every single shred of emotion pulsing through his body. The principal wanted a lab rat, and Gakushuu will give him a crow. 

“If you believe that I'm a scared little boy, for being weak for 3 measly days. Tell me, Director… What does that make Ikeda?” Gakushuu wasn’t stupid, or ignorant for that matter. He knew that Ikeda was a prized student of the principal’s. Resentment often pooled in his gut whenever he remembered memories of Ikeda. They were warm but distant. Most of all they made him bitter. Ikeda was the principal's son, he was more his son than Gakushuu would ever be.  His death was the breaking point. It was the birth of everything he hated about his life now. Gakushuu knew this was a... sore subject for him. He should have seen it coming. He would have, but the exhaustion was finally catching up to him. 

The principal grabbed Gakushuu’s jaw tight enough for it to bruise. He saw the punch coming from miles away, but he didn't move. He was too tired. Was there a point in fighting anymore? 

The floor felt cool. He didn't move to get back up.  

The principal looked surprised at his own actions. But he whisked away any evidence of it on his face. Instead opting to pull Gakushuu off the ground. “If you want to behave like a lowlife, then I believe you should be acquainted with the rest of your kind. You'll fit right in with the bottom set. Don't you think so Asano-kun? Don't you think that E class would be a good fit for you?” 

A sharp tinge started to bloom across his face. So this was what he was planning all along. 

 His whole life was surrounded around success,  being sent to E class the end class would ruin everything he worked so hard for. Losing a game was something, but throwing the whole game in the trash was another. Going to the end class would ruin his life. Any chance he had of escaping his father's chains were gone. 

Chapter Text

The bitter winds of Tokyo burned against his skin. The bruise on his cheek was growing molten purple. He looked up to see a long line of tree’s separated by a gravel path. Gakushuu strode up the path in a haze. There were noises everywhere, but all he could hear was the constant ringing in his ear. The newly acquired gun felt heavy in his pocket. It was lighter than a real gun,  and in some ways Gakushuu found comfort in that. 

At the end of this path stood a schoolhouse. A wooden schoolhouse filled to the brim with memories. Gakushuu remembers the uncanny and messy hair of the principal's favorite student, yet he can't seem to remember the colour of the walls. It had been 10 years since Gakushuu had even looked at the classroom on top of the hill. 10 long miserable years. Gakushuu clenched his hands, trying to focus himself. This was just another curveball, just another test that his father was throwing at him. He’ll make it to the end. He’ll bear through it.  Just like he always does. Just like he always will.

*  *  *

Shortly after the Principal wrecked his face, (once again demoting him to second prettiest boy at Kunugigaoka High.)  He walked out of the room with a smug smile practically painted on his face. Two government agents made their way into the principal's office a few minutes after he left. They both wore crisp black suits and carried two large black suitcases. Gakushuu could imagine these agents would fit well on the set of the western movie “Men in Black” (He watches movies. Wow, what a shock.)

The blacked haired man was the first one to speak. His voice was sharp and crisp. “Asano-kun, it's nice to meet you. We are from the government defense and national security. We're here to prepare you for your transfer to the E-class. This year… there will be some changes to the normal curriculum you are used to.” 

Gakushuu wore an exasperated expression. Living in a phycological torture movie for a life was traumatising enough. Why did the producer decide to change genres last minute? And why did it have to be a shonen jump of all things to switch to? 

“What changes exactly?” 

The black haired man continued. “You are aware of the depletion of 70% of the moon, yes? A yellow haired super creature, who looks somewhat familiar to a yellow octopus has hijacked the 3-E location, and claims that he will do the same to the earth in a year. He had one request though, to be able to teach the students studying in class 3-E in your school in exchange for them being allowed to kill him.” His blonde haired college pulled out a picture of the … creature?

Gakushuu had many thoughts, more importantly questions floating around his head, how does something like this even exist? He knew the principal was insane, but allowing something like this in his school was a new low, even for him. More importantly “Why is he so hideous ?!” 

The red haired agent snorts. “Look kid, here's the thing. You're gonna have to actively try and kill this thing. Currently he goes by the name ‘Koro-sensei’. We can't exactly figure out what kind of material he is made from, but it is some kind of anti-matter. From the information we have gathered so far; he moves at mach 20 speed, his face changes colours to indicate different emotions and he has a knack for cleaning.” 

Gakushuu raises an eyebrow “What's in it for me? Why would I waste my time trying to kill it?” He already had one psychopathic monster as a mentor, he wasn't planning on that number turning to two. 

The blonde agent smirks, “How does 8 billion yen sound?”

Gakushuu smiled with thin-lips. Opting to stay silent. He wanted to say it doesn't sound like much compared to his household's yearly making, but with 8 billion yen he could sue the principal three-hundred and thirty-three times. He could quite literally suck the principal's fat wallet dry. 

The black haired man opened the suitcase and put a green knife on the table, “This is a ‘anti-sensei’ knife, it and only its material works against korosensei. Similarly,” the man paused to pull out a normal looking gun and pink bb pellets “these are anti-sensei bb bullets. Now for the confidentiality papers-” 

Gakushuu nods, listening but not paying any attention. This was a lot of information to take in at once even for him. He stared at the picture the agent gave him.  He would stride through this like it was just any other obstacle in his path; by manipulating every rock, pond,river, ocean , to sway in his command. 

(You lie, Sarin son

Your brain sings red 

Yet, your heel spills purple )

*   *  *

When he reached the top of the mountain Gakushuu weazed. It was already bad enough that his withdrawal symptoms made his sense of direction horrible but now he has to dodge legless lizards just to get to school. Who in their right mind would put a snake's den in the middle of the pathway?! 

He walked into the campus, to find a teacher waiting for him outside the door. Gakushuu recognized him as the documented homeroom teacher and his new PE teacher, Karasuma-sensei. Gakushuu would be a liar if he said he wasn't blushing. Are all government agents born pretty or is this the exception? Karasuma-sensei looks at him until he spots the bruise on his cheek. He stares for about 3.29 seconds before he finally says something.

“You're the new transfer? I didn't expect the chairman to send his own son to a place like this” 

Look at it this way, at least the principal does not favor nepotism. Gakushuu wants to snap back. Instead he plasters on a smile. “Karasuma-sensei, it's nice to make your acquaintance.” 

“Where did you get that bruise?” Karasuma-sensei questions. His eyes still flickering over it.  Gakushuu wonders if this man has any kind of social skills. “There was an accident at soccer practice, nothing that should be taken notice of.” The agent hums. Gakushuu can tell that he doesn't believe him. 

Karasuma sensei leads him to the classroom door and his breath hitches-it's been 10 long years since he saw this place last. A monster taught in the campus and now a monster teaches there once again. It was the cycle of life, or death in this case. Gakushuu takes a deep breath and slides open the door. It screeches like nails on a chalkboard. Echoing around the classroom 

Chapter Text

Gakushuu Asano was used to uncaring teachers. They didn't care about their students, they didn't need to, didn't want to. The teachers in 3-A and any other class he has been in, were not interested in teaching but in training. Teach a lion to jump a ring, and it will only do it when it wants to. Train a lion to jump a ring and it will comply at the measly sound of a whip.

Fear is the only path to compliance. 

Humans are like caged lions in many ways, because they can be free, they can be happy, but their fear binds them to metal bars. 

(Lion boy who lives in fear, 

You're nothing but your leash. 

A want to fly, is mindless. 

You don't dream of wings. )

Gakushuu stared at Koro-Sensei forcing himself to keep eye contact. The octopus smiled at him, there was no malice on his face. It made Gakushuu uneasy. Before he could even have time to blink, the target moved to stand right in front of him. 

Gakushuu knew that mach 20 speed was fast, but this? The target was practically teleporting at this point. The only thing he could make out from the movement was the faint silhouette of his frame. 

“Asano-kun welcome to the assination classroom! Sensei can't wait to turn you into a successful assassin! Having the principal's son in our batch is a dream come true, sensei has always wanted to have a scholar in his cla-'' 

“Hey! What are we then- cooked liver?!”  

“No! Sensei loves all his students dearly! Sensei would never play favorit-

Gakushuu finds an empty seat near the back of the classroom. Favoring to stay silent. 

* * *

Gakushuu is starting to believe that the probable causes of this universe hate him.  

He wonders if he could still run away if he tried hard enough, because starving to death in the middle of nowhere would be a better option than having to face the embarrassment of his actions. 

It all starts with English class, of all things. Nothing about this so-called Assination Classroom is normal. Instead of roll call there is ‘ shoot the teacher while he's calling your name’ . Instead of normal japanese literature, their terrorist teacher insists that his poems about tentacles of all things, are better than the thousands year old traditional writings. So of course their English teacher is a honeypot assassin with a knack for kissing younger boys. 

Gakuhsuu opted to make a shadow out of himself on his first day in the E-class.  There was no point in trying to participate if he didn't understand anything, but apparently his new classmates had different ideas for him. 

“Bitch-sensei, you should probably introduce yourself to our new classmate,” Isogai says. Gakushuu assumes it was in an attempt to include him in the class. He makes a mental note to never trust nice people. 

The so-called Bitch-sensei eyes him, and for a second her expression flickers, it returns to normal and suddenly she is approaching him. She smiles honey sweet, and walks closer to his desk. Gakushuu freezes, rationally he knows that she isn't going to hurt him, but the nerves from this morning that had slowly faded, came back with full force. 

“Well, is that so? Guess I'll just have to give him a warm welcome.”  She attempts to lean in, and he can’t fucking breath. He stills. His instincts take over and his hand moves to his back pocket, he grabs the first thing he can find and swings his arm so the object is directly pointed at his teacher. The buzzing classroom quiets. Gakushuu can practically feel the stares his classmates are giving him. 

Jelavich-sensei scowls, pushing the knife away from her throat. She's staring. Gakushuu notes the teachers in 3-E sure do love to stare. “I gotta give it to you, your reflexes are spot on, but next time use them on the octopus, not on me.” 

Gakushuu felt his face heat up.

“Eh? Pulling out a knife on a teacher. You really have tuned to the lowest of the low Ace-kun. What would dear old dad say about your behavior?” Instantaneously, the embarrassment he was feeling was replaced with a familiar sense of irritation.  If murder became legal, Karma Akabane would be his first kill. 

“You beat up three third year students last year Akabane.  You’ve lost the right to talk to me about classroom etiquette. ” Gakshuu snarked.  

Karma opened his mouth, eyes blazing. Before he could reply, the sharp sound of the bell interrupted him. 

_____

The rest of the day followed in the same manner. His classmates believed that it was better to leave him be, than have another incident occur. The only class Gakushuu looked forward to in this so-called ‘assination classroom’ was phys-ed.

 Unlike most of his classmates (excluding Akabane)  Gakushuu was no stranger to wielding a knife, or shooting a gun. Even though he was skilled in both weapons, guns were his favorite. There was a false sense of comfort he felt when he held a gun. The hot metal always has a distinct weight to it, grounding him back to reality, instead of leaving him trapped in his head. 

The principal preferred the knife. Believed it's smooth and silent nature would help catch anyone on the other end in surprise. He remembers the sting of his bruised and calloused hands from the hours spent learning this so-called ‘art. His father refused to let anyone else train him. By age 12, Gakushuu could beat grown men in a skill they had been polishing for decades, but there was a reason he preferred brass over steel.  

A sharp knife lodges itself into the plastic dummy, piercing right to the center ; the heart. Gakushuu looks up, with a proud smirk on his face. 

“It seems you've finally mastered the knife, but you haven't understood it yet. The beauty of this tool is that the knife is a silhouette. It will shadow your opponents every move but it's useless if you don't know where your opponent is planning to strike.” The principal pulls out his own knife and motions for him to do the same with his. Gakushuu reluctantly pulls the knife out of the dummy, watches as the blade slides out of the shiny plastic. He waits for the principal to strike, but minutes pass by. Gakushuu grows impatient and begins to lose focus. (His first mistake). 

Gakushuu blinks and the principal is gone. His breath quickens. Gakushuu turns around, tightly gripping his knife. He scans his eyes around the room, looking in every possible place the principal could be. 

WhereIsHeWhereIsHeWhereIsHe- A sharp tug on his hair drags him down to the ground. He reaches out to grab it-(mistake number two) but a scalding grip stops his hand. He gasps, and tugs frantically at the grip. Gakushuu calms himself, plants his feet and pushes himself up and twists. He twists and twists and twists and twists; everything burns but he doesn't dare stop. The hand finally lets go. It worked. 

“Too slow. How can you strive to beat me if you can’t even defend yourself.” The principal clicks his tongue. The sound rings loud and clear, as if it's mocking him. Gakushuu barely has a second to catch his breath before the principal lunges again. 

His moves were always sharp and unpredictable, being in effect of them left you in a trance. Not quite alive, but not dead either.  Gaksuhuu felt himself slipping, melting into the fog.  He pushes through it, and dodges to the best of his ability. 

(His best isn’t enough. It never is.) 

The principal stands still; calm and collected. Gakushuu falters; shakes and trembles.  He is the wind, and his father is the tree. No matter how hard he tries, the tree still stands tall. Mocking him at every turn. 

He feels the kick before he sees it. It cramps around his stomach and blooms like sharp thorns of a purple geisha. He falls down, eyes cramping shut, as his knees hit the floor.

Something cold touches his neck, a sharp sting follows it. 

“Remember Asano-kun. All it takes is one stroke” As to prove his point, the knife digs harder around his throat. 

Tip... tip... tip...

There's something wet on the floor

“-know Ace-kun, it's no wonder you're in an E-class. You spend half of the lesson brooding” A voice drawls out. Gakushuu pulls out of his thoughts and scowls. 

“Let Asano-kun have a tragic childhood flashback in peace, Karma” He choked. What in the actual- 

“Excuse me?” Gakushuu cranes his neck to see Fuwa staring at him. She raises her eyebrows, assessing him. 

“Hm. Pretty face, authority father figure and an ego higher than the Tokyo Skytree. You definitely have daddy issues.” She says in a cheery voice. Karma bursts out laughing. Gakushuu closes his eyes and breathes through his mouth. This is going to be a long year.

Chapter Text

When you walk up the decaying trails of the path leading up to the building on the top of the hill, make sure to take off your shoes. The dead are somber, they don't like your sounds. 

_

“What's your name?”  A man speaks, his eyes hollow. 

“N-Name? I... don't have one.” the little boy says. Iching at the clumps of dried blood in his hair. 

“Oh, well that complicates things. Guess we have to come up with one then. Grab those books for me. We can find one look together” 

_

Ren approaches him while he is walking home. A tight smile on his face, Gakushuu can tell he's angry. 

“Ive been texting you for days. Where have you been?” Ren says, his tone careful. As if approaching an injured animal. The bruise on Gakushuu’s face was now a molten purple, and Ren's eyes flickered over it. 

“There was an emergency, I wasn't able to contact you. I apologise for worrying you, Sakakibara-kun.” Gakushuu knows that calling Ren by his family name only drives their distance further apart, but he needed to do this. Letting even one person in, would have unreliable results, and Gakushuu can't risk that. He wished he could tell the truth, but the truth will only make things worse. 

Ren looks at him. He opens his mouth to say something, but quickly closes it. Instead only sighing. They walk silently back to his home. 

Gakushuu looks at the back of Ren's head. His hair was getting longer now. The spring sunlight lit the usually dull brown, with fiery amber colours. It swayed with the wind as he walked. It's been a while since we walked home together, Gakushuu thought. He wants to say something, anything at all, to stop this suffocating silence from swallowing him whole. He stays silent. Because he is a coward. 

They reach his door, and Gakushuu moves to open it, but Ren calls out to him. 

“You need to tell me, if he starts hurting you again” Gakushuu wants to laugh. What will you do if I tell you. You can't help me. You know you can't. He pulls his hand away and smiles. 

“Stop spewing nonsense sakakibara-kun.” Ren rakes his hand through his hair and takes a deep breath.

“I won't let it go on anymore, this isn't the first time, and you know it's not going to be the last. Why, why wont you talk to me?!” Ren’s eyes are wet. 

I made him cry,   Gakushuu realizes. 

The overwhelming feeling of nausea returns. The familiar taste of metal seeps back  into his tongue. He can’t do this. He can’t let his selfish problems affect Ren any longer. He needed to cut off the loose string. No, he had to. 

He's the infested rose, brown and rotten. Unable to do anything but watch as his pretty red petals turn into grey ash. He can’t let the other roses close to him, they won't survive his fate. 

“I think it's time you go home.” Gakushuu’s tone is cold now. He tries to reach for the door again, but Ren stands between it. 

When he speaks his tone is desperate, “don't do this, please. Gakushuu you- you need help. You can't let him keep doing this to you.” 

‘He doesn't understand,’ his mind whispers. He doesn't know what you've done,the monster you are. He doesn't understand that you deserve it. Gakushuuu pushes Ren away from his door. Hastily opening it, and slamming it in his face. His vision burns, and everything swirls out of focus. 

(Crumpled rose, reds turned yellow brow,

Pulled from the roots, it singes blood.

A decaying rose has no place near the ruby reds.)

* * * 

The Asano’s were never one to care for relaxation, they were never one to take breaks. People would whisper, they would say in empty halls, under flickering lights The asano’s are too perfect to be human. They are inhumane. Thus, when the ace of the school falls to the ground, the illusion shatters, and what remains is the glass. 

He paid no mind to his classmates rambling about their excitement about the trip to kyoto. There was no time to spend on useless fantasies which had no benefit to him. Gakushuu’s goal is to get out of this class as fast as he can, by any means possible. 

As the students of class 3-E slowly shuffle out of class, Koro-sensei tells him to stay back. Asano goes rigid but pushes past his initial panic. It's hard to stay nervous when the teacher in question is still dressed in a floral floor length kimono and geisha style attire. Koro-sensei leads him to the teachers room, his kimono draping across the dirty floor, dragging dust along with it. Koro-sensei li

“Asano, what do you plan to do now that you're in E-class?” Korosensei asks, fanning himself with his sensu, not unsimilar to a j-drama antagonist. What is this octopus trying to get at?! 

“Well, I plan to do what is expected in a school situation… study, and get marks high enough to get out of here.” 

Apparently that was the wrong answer because Koro-Sensei snaps the sensu shut. And a red ‘x’ appears on his face. 

“Asano you are a model student, but your assination skills need to be polished. If you don't use every part of yourself as a weapon. You cannot strive. This includes even the parts of yourself others consider weak. You cannot become an assassin if you don't use every part of you to your advantage.”  

There is a silent moment between them, one with no sounds or thoughts. Before in a blink of an eye koro sensei is back to his usual attire. 

“What do you want to do here, Asano? How do you plan to strive” 

Gakushuu stills, he stutters on his words, he wants to do a lot of things, he wants to deny that there's any of him that's weak. He wants to get out of this class, because every breath he takes makes him more and more spiteful of the life he could have had, that he was so close to having. Most of all, he wants to escape. Escape from every character he has to put on. 

He has everything he needs, a good education, a house, food on the table. But, like a dog chained to a white picket fence, everything he wants, he wishes for; is out of reach. 

Gakushu tries to blink the tears away as his vision blurs. He desperately tries to reach for the back of his hair, to calm himself down, to try and get everything back in control. He tries to pull, and pull, to let the pain distract himself from the panic overwhelming him.

Before he can something grabs at his arm. He tries to pull away, but the grip stays firm. At first he thinks it's him but Gakushuu wonders why the principal’s grip is so… gentle, then he realises that it's not him, and he almost sobs in relief. Gakushuu heaves a breath and loses remembers he's still in the teachers lounge, and that weight restricting his arm, is a tentacle. 

 The tentacle pulls his hand down.

“Gakushuu..can.. Hear… me?” Gakushuu hears a distant voice, but everything is still too much for him to process. He tries to speak, to convince whoever's there that he is fine, but there's no use, because his mouth stays shut. Gaksuhuu knows vaguely that nothing is wrong, but the walls feel like they're caving in on him. 

The voice calls out again, this time a bit louder, “ …you…breath with me.” Gakushuu vaguely understands what is being asked of him, and follows the breathing of the person beside him. He wavers at first, as he tries to get as much air in his lungs as possible, but over time his breathing stables

Slowly his vision begins to clear, and the tentacle around his arm loosens. He realises that Koro-sensei has been sitting next to him this whole time, and shame rushes through him.  Before he can dwell on his thoughts any longer (well more than he had been). Korosensei asks him a question.

“Gakushuu, We’re going to do something called  a grounding exercise alright? To help you focus. Can you name five things you can see?” Korosensei lets go of his arm. 

Gakushuu blinks. Then, looking around, his thoughts shift to focus on the question.  “the sensu, a pencil box, mold…on the chairs, the floorboards, and… you.”

A red ring fades into Koro sensei's face, as his face shifts colours to orange. 

“Good. Now can you name the things you can touch?”

“This chair, the ground, my hair, the armchair ” Gakushuu wonders if there is a reason koro-sensei is helping him. no person would surely help someone out who is being so weak, just out of the good of their heart. He has heard that a familial connection often leads to people being softer towards the people they love. Yet, Koro-sensei has no such connection with him. Even still Koro-Sensei still stays by his side 

“You're doing a great job, just a few more. 3 things you can hear.” Korosensei’s voice interrupts his train of thought. 

Gakushuu concentrates on the sounds around him, and answers “the wind outside, the birds chirping, and my voice.” 

“Two things you can smell” 

Gakushuu thinks for a long moment. Before finally answering “chalk… and the wet grass.” 

“Only one more. Tell me one thing you can taste.” The fog slowly fades from his mind.

Exhaustion sits heavy on his tongue, “I taste metal.” 

Chapter Text

Gakushuu sat at the back of the classroom with a tall flask of tea. Trying to ignore his pounding headache. Koro-sensei gave it to him shortly before class began. When Gakushuu asked where exactly his teacher got this from, Koro Sensei simply replied ‘chai has great soothing benefactors.’

His teacher then broke the sound barrier to get a churro for himself before class started. 

 Gakushuu avoided Koro-sensei the rest of the day. Still a bit… weary after his display from yesterday. Koro-sensei’s question still echoed in his mind. He couldn’t find one singular answer for it. The privilege of a want, is not something Gakushuu had previously  been allowed to dwell on. Though, things have changed now. He is far from the principal's tight grasp. 

Instead it seems that the principal has given up on him all together. A pang sinks deep into his chest. The principal has no time for failures. So why should the principal have any care for him? 

His thoughts are interrupted by footsteps. Gakushuu looks up to Yuma Isogai standing in front of him. Gakushuu 

 “Hey Asano-kun. Maehara and I were choosing our group members for the kyoto trip, but It seems we’re one member short.'' Isogai says, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Gakushuu raises his eyebrow “what does that have to do with me?” 

“Ah, we were wondering if you wanted to be a part of our group?” Isogai smiles, unbothered by Gakushuu’s additude. His smile shines brighter than the sun. He needs to wear sunglasses around this boy.  Note to self: Nice people may lure you in with a pretty smile. Be cautious in their presence. 

The question circles his thoughts once again. 

 What do you want to do here? 

 There are many wants Gakushuu has, but the one he craves most, is the want of freedom. He wants to be free of this suffocating classroom. Where every rotting, festering bug infested plank of wood. Every once happy memory. Reminds him of the things he has been robbed of. Escape is only minuscule, his problems will arise soon again. But, maybe, just maybe a small trip to kyoto will provide some kind of relief from his draining daily life. 

Gakushuu plasters on a smile. Artificial and hollow. It doesn't shine the same was Isogai’s does. “I would love to.”  The Asanos don’t take breaks, but maybe Gakushuu wishes, for just a inkling of a moment, to be free from the burdens of an Asano.  

(The weight falls stilted, time ticks on.

To follow the path, worn and battered?

To venture the mountain flamed by fear?

 Or to wait and wither.)

* * *

Gakushuu needed to get off of this train, right now.

 Freedom can come another day. A day when he wasn't travelling at 150 miles per hour. A day when his skull was not pounding. For now all he craved was the sight of land. Sweet unmoving land. As another bout of nausea hit him. Gakushuu got up to make his way to the bathroom, before the remains of last night's dinner made their way on the dirty train carpet.  

Isogai followed behind, and Gakushuu looked at him questioningly. “Ah, it seems you didn't hear Koro-Sensei before we got on. He wants us to stick to a buddy system if we need leave the cabin” 

Gakushuu nodded.  Not trusting himself to speak until the nausea had calmed. He opened the door shutter, though before he could take a step, Gakushuu bumped into something or rather someone. He took a few steps back. Trying to see what exactly stopped his path. 

He looked up to see a trio of students, much taller than him, staring back. They wore what was meant to be a uniform, with a fading grey emblem. Gakushuu squints his eyes, as he tries to read what it says.   ‘Nara-’ his eyes widen. This is just the thing he needed today.

it seems this train ride can get worse. 

High schoolers

“What the fuck are you looking at.” One of them spits. he has overgrown hair that peaks out of the bandana he is wearing. No question lays in the fact that his look is a cheap imitation of American gang culture. A tattoo peeks out his shirt, Gakushuu’s eyes slip over it.  Great, delinquents too. Karma wasn’t enough apparently, now here comes another band of idiots.

“Sorry.” Gakushuu grits his teeth, lowering his head. Maybe another day he would have had the mind to speak his thoughts out loud. But, for today he only hopes trouble will stay out of walking distance. He pushes past the group of boys. Isogai skittishly walks around them. 

“High Schoolers are so scary,” Isogai says moments later, in a  hushed tone. Fiddling with his thumbs. “My sister acts all moody like that.” Gakushuu wants to point out that his sister is probably not in a gang. But, Isogai looks shaken as it is. Funny how a eight foot monster doesn’t phase him, but a group of high school degenerates has him stumbling. 

Gakushuu reaches for the itinerary list, in his pocket. Best to review their plans before they get off the train. But, his hands grab at thin air and he pulls them out empty. Gakushuu pauses. He was sure he put the itinerary in his pocket.

“Everything okay?” Isogai asks. Concern eches over his face. Gakushuu forces himself to relax.

“It seems I've lost the itinerary for our trip.” Gakushuu admits, feeling like a fool. It seems as of late, he cannot do the simplest of tasks without failing. 

Isogai simply smiles in return. “That's all? I thought it was something serious. Don’t you remember, you made  copies for us.” Isogai pulls out the paper from his school bag. His crisp and definined handwriting looks back at him. 

Gakushuu looks at it dumbly.  “Oh, that’s good. Good, that I did that.” He says blankly. 

Gakushuu can't remember writing copies. He hasn’t  been able to remember much recently. His mind blanks on the most simplest of tasks. Tasks that he used to do with utmost precision in the past. His thoughts wander back to the paper laying neatly at the bottom of his desk drawer. Help is only a few fingertips away. Yet what do you reach for when your fingers have been burned?

Chapter Text

Waters drips drown from the rusting steel tap, it is a methodical sound, something keen to a pattern. It is the only thing Gakushuu can focus on. Isogai sits behind him, completely silent, his breathing being the only thing to indicate he is alive. A familiar emotion settles in his gut and Gakushuu refuses to call it fear . He does not fear anything or anyone. He does not fear the 8-foot-tall monster teaching his class, and he certainly does not fear the high schoolers who have taken him hostage. 

It's not the first time he has been kidnapped. There was the time when he was 7, or the week when he was 10. He had escaped his kidnappers pretty easily, most kidnappings are not planned. Lead by strong emotions and a need for revenge, done by amateurs and performed unprepared. This kidnapping is the same, but it seems this time, he dragged someone else into his problem.

Gakushuu can't stop the overwhelming guilt that twists in his chest and doesn't allow him to breathe. He is fine, but it’s clear Isogai is panicking. Isogai is trembling, he’s scared . It's Gakushuu’s fault. All of this is his fault. If he didn't let his itinerary get lost, none of this would have happened. He caused this, he’s a failure of a leader. Just as much as he is a failure of a son. 

(cover your cowers

Untold, threaded you stand

Glass mirror

Watches,

Morphing into the monster

Scared under the bed. )

***

“Asano-Kun, are you listening?” Gakushuu blinks, trying to push through the haze.  The feeling is similar to a person cutting through a forest of vines with only a dagger. The prickles of sunshine, breathing down on his face, bring him back to the present. Where was he again? Oh right, Kyoto. 

Isogai and Maehara stare back at him. The others must have already left.  A familiar feeling of dread climbs up his throat. Lodging itself and refusing to move. What the fuck is wrong with him?  

Gakushuuu finally wills himself to speak. 

“It seems I may have… blanked out? Please excuse my behavior” Gakushuu wonders how many more incidents he will have with his classmates before they start to tire of him. 

Isogai frowns at him, inching closer in concern. “Blanked out? Are you okay Asano-kun?” Isogai reaches to grab his shoulder.

 He can’t help himself. He knows it's not him.  His father is miles away, in his stupid office and Gakushuu is in fucking Kyoto. Yet, he still flinches. 

Isogai takes a step back, surprised but there is no malice on his face. Instead something worse. Pity 

Maehara squints at him for a second, before turning to Isogai “What are the symptoms for heat exhaustion? Our SCP or well ex-SCP looks kinda red.” He asks if Gakushuu can tell he's a little smug about the correction. He doesnt blame Maehara 

Isogai opens his mouth to answer, blinks, and then closes it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. 

Gakushuu wonders how long this is going to go on for. There is still a whole itinriary of things to get through, they can’t waste time on stupid things like his health . “I don't have heat exhaustion. I’m fine.” 

Maehara rolls his eyes, but before he can even utter a word, Isogai slaps him on the shoulder and glares. Apparently Nice people have the capacity to get angry. 

“Are you sure you're okay? We could take a break” Isagai repeated. A flare of irritation rises in Gakushuu’s chest. He’s fine, he can deal with his problems on his own.

He puts on his best reassuring smile. “Everything is perfectly fine! We should focus on enjoying the trip, before assisting in the assasination.” Gakushuu hopes his act is enough to convince them 

“If you say so,” Isogai answers, a wisp of hesitation on his face. 

Maehara, on the other hand, looks more than eager to move on, leading (more like rushing)  the group to the train station. 

When they finally reach the train, Gakushuuu gracefully falls onto the seat (he does Not slump, he is not a heathen) farthest from everyone. 

 He pulls out a familiar piece of white paper in his hand. He still hasn't had the heart to throw it away. He contemplates calling the number. 

Maybe this person knows what's wrong with me.

Chapter Text

Gakushuu shoves the contact back in his pocket when he sees Isogai approaching him. 

  He understands this is a school trip, but he could at least have some privacy . 

In an ideal world, he would have the energy to keep up a somewhat artificial smile and be social with his new classmates. Rising between the ranks until he finally takes the top spot, ultimately leaving them when they are most dependent.

But, He is exhausted , 

and this is not an ideal world. Instead, Gakushuu looks outside the train window. An awkward silence sits between them. It vibrates to be broken, but Gakushuu does not have the capacity to fake being perfect today. 

As the train starts to move, nausea swirls in his stomach once again. Gakushuu tries to focus on his feet, but it's no use. He feels the bile rise once again.

He watches in the corner of his eye, as Isogai reaches into his school bag to pull out a pill bottle, Gakushhuu catches the words 'nausea’ on the bottle, before Isogai puts it away.  

“Here.” Isogai pushes a round white tablet into Gakushuu’s hand. He smiles and his face lights up in all the ways that irk Gakushuu. “My sister gets motion sickness on trains too. You should take on of these, they help”

Gakuushuu takes the tablet but does not move to swallow it. He rolls it round in his hand, examining the engraving. Instead he opts to stare at Isogai with a confused expression. “Why are you giving this to me? We’re not friends''  

Isogai laughs at that.  “ Asano-Kun, helping someone out is basic decency, we don't have to be friends for me to do that.”

Oh.  

A warm feeling engulfed his chest, it danced around in his chest before finally resting in his stomach, Gakushuu mutters a quiet thank-you  and swallows the pill. 

Gakushuu thinks, maybe there are upsides to this trip after all. 

***

From outside of the alleyway, you can hear the faint sound of trains. But at the moment, everything goes silent for Gakushuu. There is a sudden absence of movement around the group. 

Isogai is rigid as a knife slips onto his throat, he doesn't move or say anything, but his eyes plead out for someone to help him. 

Maehara is trembling, his knees locked to their place, as he stares helplessly at Isogai. The others in the group are paralyzed from fear, not able to move a single inch from where they stand. 

Gakushuu observes the situation and calculates scenarios in his head. 

 He could take the leader by himself, but it's too much of a risk. There's an 80% chance that if he takes on the leader, his little mindless minions would follow through with the threat, lining slimy at Isogai’s throat. He can't take that risk. 

Gakushuu picks himself off the ground and takes a last look at Isogai. He stands, locked into himself trembling in fear. They're only in this situation because of him. Therefore he should be the only one put in danger. 

Gakuuhuu breathes a long, stuttered breath. He wills his mouth to speak. These are stupid high schoolers, they are nothing compared to what his father has put him through. They are nothing.  

“Let him go, take me instead” He bargains. Not a moment does he feel hesitation or regret. 

Even though all of his failures, He’s still an Asano. And, being an Asano means if he is pleading for his life he will do so with a smile, and pride leaking into his posture. 

“Why The hell should we do that?” One of the teenagers scoffs. 

 “All your preps are the same. You think you're better than everyone else.” Another says. Spite clouding his voice with a deep and raspy tone. 

You wish you were better than everyone else.”  The gang leader sneers. The poorly applied black eyeliner that adorns his face is scrunched up in what Gakushuu assumes is supposed to be intimidating. Instead, he looks quite like a clown. 

He laughs at how pathetic they are. The lengths people would go to for some cash. 

 “You’d be stupid not to take me instead.  Isogai is the son of some poor old bedridden man. You're doing this for money, aren't you?  You wouldn't get a dime from him. I’m  the son of the director of Kunugigaoka Junior school.” 

“Are you really going to choose the poor mutt over me?”

 Gakushuu refuses to look Isogai in the eye. He knows he's gone too far. The sick feeling of guilt is already sloshing in his gut. Anything to make sure everyone else gets out alive . He repeats to himself. 

The gang leader raised his eyebrow. His eyes widened in shock. Before he moved closer to Gakushuu. He placed a hand on Gakushuu’s shoulder. 

Gakushuu forced himself not to flinch. 

“What makes you think we’re doing this for the money, Pretty boy?” In a flash of a moment, the gang leader swings his fist towards Gakushuu. 

Even though he is surprised, Gakushuu springs to action. Careful with every move he makes. He waits for any kind of opening to present itself. Focusing on only his defense. 

  Gakushuu sees a moment of hesitation in the leader's form and takes the opportunity to smash his knee through the man's left 3rd rib. A sickening crack follows next. It has the leader doubled over coughing. But, before Gakushuu can continue, rough hands grasp him at the shoulders and push him.  

He loses his balance, his legs trip, and crashes sharply onto something. He can feel fabric rub against his back. Though before he could pull himself off, a cloth pushes its way into his face, and strong arms wrap around his waist, keeping him in place. 

 Gakushuu tries to thrash away, his hands flaring around, but a strong grip pushed them down. They were firm, and any attempt at breaking through his cage only led to more strength. In a last-ditch effort to escape He jammed his elbow straight through the man's face. He was free from their grasp but it was already too late 

Gakushuu took a few steps before the world grew heavy and he felt himself floating once again. The pitch black engulfed his arms somewhat similar to a warm hug.