Chapter Text
Patton released the breath that was stuck in his throat. Another day, another time the others avoided cursing around him. At first, it was a blessing. A family friendly household using only family friendly words! Who wouldn't want that? But as time drained on, it got tiring. Now they don't finish their sentences because it sometimes contained a curse word. It had gotten worse when they refused to even talk about adult topics around him. Virgil had to finish a conversation later because Patton had entered the room. This was a repeated occurrence! He doesn't remember the last time they said something so freely . He had tried to tell them that it was okay to curse and talk about adult things as they were adults. But every time he brought it up, they dismissed him. It was always "But you shouldn't be hearing these things anyways. You wouldn't be able to handle it."
Patton was sick of it. He felt like a child. A child whose parents covered their ears because someone said an inappropriate word. Except that child is old enough to understand it yet the parent doesn't think they're ready. Hes in his thirties like everyone else. Why would they treat him so differently ? He might have left that impression when he mentioned he didn't know where babies come from. Or maybe it was when he called the process of becoming an adult "adultery". He had long learned since those times. But none of them noticed. Oh, why couldn't he be more like Logan or Janus or even Remus?
Wait.
That's it! He could just go to Remus. A very inappropriate side with questionable wording. Of course he could think of something to help Patton. The only problem was... where was Remus?
'He could just be in his room' Patton thought. It was a simple solution and he smiled at how easy this was going to be.
He walked towards the dark side of the mindscape. It was gloomy, like the antagonist lair in a superhero story. Seeing how isolated it was, that made Patton feel shameful. It looked like a miserable place to be, Janus and Remus shunned to live here. Virgil used to live here. He looked over it once more, frowning as the thoughts of his past decisions come to haunt him. He was such a hypocrite, wasn't he? He was all about equality and loving everyone, when he, Logan, and Roman had isolated them. It was in the past, yes, but it didn't stop Patton from feeling guilty.
"Patton? Whatever are you here for?"
Patton snapped out of his thoughts and tilted his head down to see Janus standing in the doorway. He smiled awkwardly . "Heyyyyy Janus. You wouldn't happen to know if Remus is in there, would you?"
"Strange that you of all people want to know where Remus is." Janus narrowed his eyes slightly , as if questioning Patton. "But I'm afraid he's here."
Patton felt a slight feeling of defeat run through him. "Huh... thank you for your time!" Patton turned around to walked away, ignoring the small call out of his name. It was almost like he knew what Janus was going to say next. Well that wasn't convenient. The one time he actually wanted to see Remus, he wasn't easily found. The mindscape wasn't that large so it shouldn't be difficult to find him. So what if he only checked one area? It was the only place he could think where Remus could be.
'Maybe I could...' Patton paused his thoughts. No, he couldn't ask Virgil where he was. Virgil would be suspicious of Patton for even thinking about Remus. Not to mention that he wouldn't care about Remus's whereabouts. He frowned to himself. He thought this would be easy. Finding Remus, and then asking for his help. He thought the hard part would be asking for help. But apparently the searching was difficult too.
As he went through the living room to check the laundry area, he spotted Roman and his eyes lit up. Why didn't he think of it earlier? Remus bothers Roman the most, so Roman should know where he is. He stalked over towards Roman as the other made eye contact with him.
"Oh, Roman! I'm so glad I found you."
Maybe it was the smile, or his demeanor, but Patton could of sworn the Roman was glowing. "What do you need, padre?"
"This may sound odd but I need to find Remus-"
"What do you need him for?" Patton bit the inside of his mouth when he heard the clear disgust in Roman's voice.
"He's, uh, helping me with something."
Roman's face dropped. "Why didn't you ask me to help you?"
A wave of guilt washed over Patton: for having to lie to Roman and for upsetting him. "He knows a lot about this, so he was the first one who came to mind." Patton placed a hand on Roman's shoulder. He gave Roman a small smile. "But you can help me next time. I promise."
This seemed to cheer him up a little. "I'm holding you to that. Oh! You wanted to know where Remus was. If I remember correctly , he was in the imagination. He followed me into the imagination but seemed to stay after I left."
The Imagination...what could he be doing in there? As much as Patton didn't want to know, he had to get Remus's help. He thanked Roman before walking towards it.
To be completely honest, he hadn't been in the Imagination in forever. So much could have changed since the last time he went. Maybe there were new creatures, buildings. Maybe more of Remus's creations roamed around, making themselves visible to anyone who passes by. He took a deep breath and opened the doors. He gasped once he took a glimpse of what was inside.
A beautiful divider between both sides made it clear which side was whose. On the right, it was like a fantastical Disney universe. The creatures within it were friendly, greeting Patton and beckoning him over to their side. It was brighter, happier, everything a person could really want in life. On the left, however, was dark. To Patton, it was like the dark side of the mindscape. The main difference was that there was an obvious dark forest like tint over it all. Black, green, Remus like colors. Even some splashes of maroon that made Patton assume it was blood.
Patton didn't want to go left. He wanted to stray towards the right. But he had to find Remus. It didn't matter how he felt, he needed Remus's help. So he parted ways with Roman's creatures and sauntered left. There was surprisingly only one major issue with going this way; Patton could barely see. The dark might be Remus's preferred lighting, makes sense on why its so hard to walk through the forest.
A rustling noise startled Patton, making him look back.
"My my~ What is that sweet ol Morality doing in my side of the Imagination?"
Patton looked around, confused and slightly frantic on where the sound was coming from. He knew it was Remus. It was the sole purpose of him coming to the Imagination. But he did not know where it was coming from. He swallowed down his nervousness and put on a brave face.
"Show yourself, Remus! I need to talk to you."
What Patton wasn't expecting was for Remus to listen to him. He heard another rustling sound, and looked ahead of him. A light began to shine down, revealing Remus sitting atop a large white mushroom. The white felt out of place in this dark forest but he didn't feel the need to question it now. Wait, why was Remus facing the other way? Did he not want to be seen?
"You said you wanted to talk. But quick question first, why didn't you just summon me?"
"Uh.." Patton felt stupid now. That was an option this whole time, yet he didn't think about it. His nerves were returning to him again. "I wasn't thinking.. but anyways! This may come off as weird, but I need your help."
Remus blinked at Patton before laughing up a storm. Patton couldn't have felt anymore offended by that. Was it really that shocking? Well in Remus's defense, he wasn't the most liked side. Asking for his help wasn't a common thing. Remus soon calmed down from his hollering, shaking his head softly. However, in noticing Patton's silence, it seemed a realization had hit Remus.
"Oh, you're serious." He layed back on the mushroom, staring at Patton from upside down. "Why would you need my help? Shouldn't you go to the default setting that is Roman, or even your best friend Virgil?"
"Actually, this about everyone else. This is something only you could help me with."
That caught Remus's interest. His eyebrow quirked up before a sickening grin appeared on his face.
"Well why didn't you say so? What sort of sick fantasies do you need my assistance with?"
A blush appeared on Patton's face as he shook his head rapidly. "No no! Not that kind of help!"
"Dang it, I was hoping it was. If not that, then what is it?"
"How do I say this without seeming awkward.." Patton fidgeted with his fingers. Why was this so difficult? Its like asking any other side for help. Was it because it was Remus? "You know how I'm presented in our house. The cheerful dad type who adores puns. Along with that, I appear to be.. naive? Wait, no, innocent. Because of that innocent look, the others treat me like a child."
"Ah, you want them to see that you're an adult! Just curse and do shit you wouldn't normally do."
"Its not that simple Remus. I know how they would react. They would think you have tainted me or something.. I am the same age as everyone else! Why must I be treated any differently? That's why I came to you. I'm pretty sure you would know something that would have them realize I'm more than what they think of me. Right?"
Remus hummed as if he was thinking. He sat up and turned around to face Patton.
"There is something that came to mind. You wouldn't like it though."
"No, no. Go ahead and speak your mind."
"What if you," Remus pointed at Patton and then himself "and I, pretend to date?"
Patton's eyes widened at the suggestion. Him? Pretend to date Remus? Lie to his friends and family?
"See, I knew you wouldn't be a fan. But let me explain." Remus looked expectantly at Patton, and Patton gave him the okay to continue. "Look, you know me. I'm Intrusive Thoughts. The embodiment of everything you and the others hate."
"Well I don't hate you-"
"And you are the embodiment of sunshine and rainbows. No one would expect us to like each other! Uh, we'll be faking it but they won't know it. Yes, they wouldn't like it at first... but once they see how "happy" you are with me, and that you could handle my humor and shit, they'll finally see you as an adult! And if that's not enough-" A sudden stack of paper appeared in Remus's hand. "I'll sign this contract too!" Patton took the contract and began to read it. It was mostly empty, confusing Patton before he realized what the top read.
Write your boundaries on the lines below:
Patton looked through the rest of the pages, noticing Remus listed his boundaries too. He didn't know Remus had boundaries. He reached the last page, reading out loud the contents.
"By signing this contract, I, Remus "Intrusive Thoughts" Sanders, oblige to this contract by not overstepping Patton's boundaries." There was a line for Remus to sign, and underneath, the same thing except it was for Patton to sign to not overstep Remus's boundaries.
"Pretty neat, huh?"
"It sure is something... but I find it weird that you had this ready."
"Oh that?" Remus put his arms behind his back, in the standard elbows up pose. "I prepare for different scenarios. Thats for if we ever had to be close. Dating sounds like a stretch but it would be more effective than if we were considered friends."
Patton could barely whisper a 'wow'. Remus seemed so prepared with this plan. It felt so surreal. Was this really a good plan?
"Go ahead and write down your boundaries. Even after I sign this, you could always refuse and we could think of something else."
The moral side was handed a pen, and he began to write down everything he wasn't okay with. There were things that were obvious, like having sex or very inappropriate comments about him. There were also things that surprised Remus when he read them, such as mouth kissing. But he understood everything and as promised, he signed the contract. He handed Patton the contract again, crossing his legs and leaning forward.
"Again, you can say no and we'd be done with this option. However, if you sign this, this is the plan we'll use. Do we have a deal?" Remus stuck his hand out for the other to take.
Patton felt his brain arguing with itself. On one hand, this could lead to something bad. Patton could get hurt, or worse, shunned. But on the other hand, this might be his only chance to make a difference with the others. To show them that he isn't all they think he is, that he is something much more. Patton took a deep breath as he thought about both options. Then, he signed the contract, and shook Remus's hand.
"Deal."