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Patrick slid into the booth across from Stevie while David ran to the bathroom. “Long walk from the store.” He said with a smirk, gesturing toward his husband.
Stevie chuckled. “He can’t walk more than five minutes without needing to pee.”
“I know. Last week we walked from the pizza place to the cupcake place in Elmdale, and he had to stop twice to pee. Though, now that I think about it, he ended up buying something at both of the shops we stopped in, so…”
“Sucker,” she said, laughing at him.
“That I am,” he said with a smile.
“Oh, what’s this?” He leaned up a bit to get a better look at the bag on the seat next to Stevie.
“That? Oh nothing. It’s nothing,” she said as she clumsily moved her purse to cover it. “You can just open it later.”
Patrick lit up with utter glee. “Stevie, did you get us a gift…”
“No.”
“… for our anniversary?
“No!”
David slid into the seat next to Patrick. “Um, excuse you, what’s this about a gift?”
“Stevie got us a gift.” His face was so fond, it made Stevie want to barf.
“Um, noooo, I didn’t get you two a gift. I got Patrick a gift. Or, something. I got Patrick something.”
David gasped with joy.
“It’s not a gift. It’s just a… basic necessity. An everyday item. Literally the least exciting thing ever, so you don’t need to make a big deal of it.”
David’s eyes danced between Stevie and Patrick. “Well isn’t this an interesting development… First of all, I am suitably offended that you got a gift for my husband and not for me. Secondly—”
“—Secondly,” Patrick interrupted, “I am absolutely opening it now. Do you not remember the time you insisted David open my gift at this very table? This is payback, Budd!”
“Ugh, now I don’t even want you to have it!”
“Okay, I’m getting bored with this. Just open it already so we can order.”
“Hey guys!” All three of them jumped in their seats at Twyla’s arrival. “Ready to order? Oh—is that a birthday present? Is it somebody’s birthday? We have the good chocolate cake today! I’d be happy to bring some over!”
“It’s actually our anniversary” David said, taking Patrick’s hand in his, “and yes, we would absolutely love three slices.”
Patrick rolled his eyes. “David, we haven’t even ordered dinner yet.”
“Shush, it’s a special occasion!”
“Okay,” Twyla confirmed, “three pieces of chocolate cake, anything else?”
“And a bottle of red,” Stevie added. “Three glasses.”
“Fine, and mozzarella sticks,” Patrick said as he looked at David with a small smile.
Stevie mock-barfed. “Get a room.”
“Aw, so sweet,” David glared at Stevie.
“Okay, great! That’ll be right out!” Twyla walked away, ponytail swinging.
“So, how’s the store?”
“Oh, I don’t think we’re quite done here,” Patrick said. He reached across to snatch the gift bag from the other bench.
“Hey!” She yelled, trying to pull it back.
“Oh, blue tissue paper. Not really on brand for you. Were they out of flannel?” Patrick said, feigning innocence.
David looked delighted! “Oh, Burn, Stevie!”
“Okay, Alexis. Relax. You two aren’t nearly as funny as you think you are.”
“I resent that.”
Patrick moved the tissue to the side and pulled a fluffy white fabric out of the bag. “Towels? He pulled them out all the way out of the bag and held them up. “Stevie, you got me monogramed towels?
A “PB” was stitched in a deep blue ink, matching the same set she’d given David when they’d gotten engaged.
“It’s just to complete the set. David has “DR and now you have PB. I know your names are hyphenated but I wasn’t ordering David a new set, so… you’ll just have to make do.”
David’s eyes had gone damp, trying but failing at nonchalance. “That is uncharacteristically sweet of you, Stevie,” he said, clearing his throat.
“Well, you’re married. You have been a while now! And I couldn’t bear the thought of your marriage falling apart because of some inevitable fight when Patrick gets his black baseball makeup on your beautiful white towels.”
Patrick interrupted them to defend himself. “It’s not ‘black baseball makeup,’ it’s—“
“I know what it is, Patrick, but David doesn’t speak baseball.”
“That’s offensive,” David muttered “but also correct.”
“Well, Stevie, I love them. Thank you very much for my non-gift. I’ll think of you every time I use them.”
“Gross.”
“And I love you,” Patrick teased.
“Double gross.”
“Are you two done? In case you forgot, we’re celebrating our anniversary, not this albeit adorable revelation in your friendship.”
Just then, Twyla placed three giant slices of chocolate cake on the table.
“Happy anniversary, you two!”
“Thanks, Twy!” Patrick responded.
David took a huge bite and felt a kick under the table. He looked up to the three of them staring at him, Patrick gesturing his head toward Twyla.
“Mmm, fankwoo Twy!”
Totally unfazed, Twyla beamed.
“My pleasure!”