Archive of Our Own ^beta

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The old man stared out to the sea as he often did, letting the cold wind sweep his long white hair, the man couldn’t help but let his eyes flicker just for second to the giant grey monument in the middle of the sea, just for a second because he couldn’t stare at the building without tears welling up in his eyes ‘David?’ a voice called out to him and he felt a hand on his shoulder, the man turned his head back responding to the newest in the vast array of names he had given himself, ‘boss says breaks over’ the boy said and the old man nodded ‘can I ask you something?’ the boy asked and the old man nodded again ‘why are you working here? You must be nearly 80’ he asked and the old man let out a bubble of laughter in truth the man was nay age he wanted to be, in the blink of an eye he could be 5 or 50, and as to why he had taken a job at the lighthouse, he couldn’t explain it, he lived all across the world in the many years he had been alive, but when he chose this new life for himself, he felt the pull of Avalon lake calling to him, he felt a tug at his heart and he knew it was time to return home, but he could say this to the young man in front of him so he simply said ‘I didn’t have a choice’ and walked off leaving the man to interpret the sentence as he wished.
A few hours later when the sun had long since set and the old man was walking home to a small hut on the banks of the river, he heard a rustling from the middle of the lake, his head whipped to the middle, eyes flashing gold for just a second, but the lake looked normal as ever, with a ripple in the middle like someone had thrown a pebble into it, the old man wouldn’t let himself feel anything, he had been disappointed too many times, he had jumped into the freezing waters of the lake only to find a plastic bag or tree branch too many times to let the wings of hope take off in his mind, but the rational side of his brain wouldn’t stop the way his heart started beating a little faster and the sharp pain in his stomach, the man continued walking determined not to look at the lake anymore, he walked into the hut closing the wooden door a little too fast shutting outside the cold air, he made his way to the small gas stove on the counter and heated up a can of soup for his dinner, he spared a glance to the clock hanging above the fridge and as the hands struck 12 he smiled just the tiniest bit ‘Happy birthday Arthur’ he whispered to no one.
The old man had long since gone to bed when he jerked awake, every cell in his body was screaming he stumbled over to the kitchen for water, but even the coldest water couldn’t calm the fire burning inside him, the man was wheezing now, he threw the door open and took in a deep breath of the cold air outside watching the small waves crash into the rocks at the shore, the air helped the man a little and he turned to go back into the house when he heard it and stopped in his footsteps.
In the silence and cold, he heard the familiar breathing that plagued his dreams, it was ragged and heavy but he would recognize it anywhere, the man ran towards the shore, not even noticing the change in his body, he was young once more, his long hair had turned short and brown, the wrinkles on his face had given way to the smile lines of a younger man, he ran as fast as his legs would take him, Merlin whipped his head around trying to determine where the sound was coming from, then he saw movement behind a boulder, Merlin slowly walked over and whispered, not daring to speak out loud ‘Arthur?’ he whispered so low he couldn’t even hear himself over the water, but that didn’t matter because the other man heard him, ‘Merlin?’ a voice whispered back and the boy nearly fell over tears were pouring from his eyes now, ‘Arthur’ he choked out louder now and sure enough the figure stepped out from behind the boulder and Merlin’s tears continued to pour as he laid eyes upon the blond hair and blue eyes he had seen a million times in his dreams, he was standing clad in his red robes and the same chainmail Merlin had scrubbed so many times before, his wet hair feel into his eyes and his confusion was evident on his face ‘Merlin what’s happening’ Arthur asked but the boy didn’t answer he ran forward and jumped on the other boy, tears not stopping, Arthur stumbled for a second but caught Merlin firmly hugging him right back Merlin ran his hands through Arthur’s golden locks placing their foreheads together, both boys had tears in their eyes now, not feeling the cold air beyond the other hot breath on their skin, they stayed in that postion for longer than they should have heads pressed together, lips an inch apart staring into each other's eyes not daring to break eye contact for even a second tears were pouring down both their cheeks and Merlin reached out wiping a tear from Arthur's cheek ‘what’s happening Merlin?’ Arthur asked softly breaking the silence and Merlin giggled now realising what a sight they made ‘let’s go inside, ill explain’ he whispered and got off the other boy holding his hand to lead him into the house he couldn't let go now he finally had him back.

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Merlin could still feel Arthur’s hand in his own, it was warm despite the water, and it was the only reason he let himself believe this wasn’t a dream, he led the boy through the went sand, not caring about his ruined shoes or his soaked clothes, Merlin had a ear to ear grin stretched across his face and it wasn’t going anywhere, he looked at the boy behind him and tears threatened to spill down his face once more, Arthur was looking around in awe he caught Merlin’s eye ‘what?’ he asked and Merlin shook his head not moving his head though, grin still spread across his face ‘dollophead’ Arthur muttered and this time tears did fall from Merlin’s eyes, he hadn’t heard that word in a lifetime, he held onto Arthur’s hand even tighter now, Arthur looked confused but didn’t let go.
As the pair walked into the warm hut they realised how cold it had been outside, Arthur let out a groan as he sat on the raggedy couch in the hall forcing Merlin to let go of his hand, Merlin took in the familiar groans and grunts with pleasure, they were he had been thinking about for the past millennia, ‘you’ll need a change of clothes’ Merlin said looking at the boy who nodded Merlin walked into his room and picked out a pair of baggy shorts and oversized sweatshirt that looked like it might fit Arthur, Merlin walked back outside pausing at the doorway to look at the boy on the couch, Arthur’s confusion had not lessened, but Merlin couldn’t fault him either, he couldn’t imagine waking up millennia later and just being ok with it, Arthur hadn’t even registered the fact that everyone he had ever known save for Merlin was dead, Merlin watched as the light from the yellow blub made Arthur’s features shine and his nose glow, it made his lips appear full and the water dripping from his hair looked like molten gold, he turned to face Merlin and his confusion melted away as he lay eyes on the one familiar thing in this house, and Merlin knew that despite all the names he had taken, despite all the lives he had lived, he never felt more like himself than when Arthur yelled his name.

Merlin walked over to the couch and threw the clothes in Arthur’s lap ‘change clotpole’ he muttered ‘technically it’s still sire’ Arthur said and Merlin simply hit him across the head making him laugh before heading into Merlin’s room it hadn’t been a minute when Arthur yelled ‘MERLIN’ and Merlin burst into a grin again running into the room.

Merlin stopped at the doorway mouth agape, because Arthur was bent over halfway with the hoddie stuck around his torso, head poking out through the arm hole, Merlin fell on the floor laughing, he missed Arthur acting like an idiot ‘MERLIN HELP ME’ Arthur yelled and Merlin pulled himself off the floor still laughing wiping his eyes as he helped Arthur pull the clothing off himself ‘of course, you couldn’t even put your own clothing on’ he said mid laughter and Arthur rolled his eyes, it was then that Merlin noticed Arthur’s state in only the pants and swallowed, the last time he had seen Arthur like this they had been in Camelot, in his chambers and Arthur was going to go into the battle that killed him.

Merlin reached forward to hug him again and Arthur flinched stepping back , but when he saw the pain in Merlin’s eyes he stepped into the embrace wrapping his arms around the little boy ‘sleep?’ he asked and Merlin nodded, they separated and fell into the usual routine of Merlin dressing Arthur ‘Where is my bed Merlin’ Arthur asked and Merlin gasped ‘I forgot!, there’s only one bed’ he exclaimed and Arthur groaned ‘I can sleep on the floor’ Merlin whispered and Arthur firmly shook his head ‘no no, the bed looks big enough’ he said not looking merlin in the eye it wasn’t, but merlin wasn’t going to argue Arthur gestured for Merlin to get into the bed first and he complied slipping under the covers and Arthur did the same soon after, the size of the bed making the two press up against each other and Arthur threw his hoddie away ‘WE JUST GOT THAT ON’ Merlin yelled and Arthur shrugged ‘I can’t sleep with a shirt on’ he muttered the two wiggled in the bed for a few minutes before Arthur sat up in a huff ‘get up’ he said ‘what?!’ Merlin gasped ‘get up! I always sleep on the left’ he groaned getting out of bed ‘It’s been centuries HOW ARE YOU STILL A PRAT’ Merlin groaned turning over as Arthur slid in through the other side, Merlin turned to face the boy in order to scream at him again when he realised the other boy was on his side as well, their faces inches apart, Merlin gasped and flipped over, considering just sleeping on the couch when he felt Arthur’s arm over his side, the boy cuddled up to him and despite being taller Merlin felt so small in his arms, so protected, a tear slid from his eyes, he had Arthur now, and he wasn’t ever going to let him go again ‘I missed you’ he whispered not meant for anyone to hear but Arthur hummed anyway ‘I wasn’t even conscious and the only thing I felt was the absence of your presence’ he whispered back in Merlin’s ear as they drifted to sleep.

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Arthur’s eyes opened as the light shone in through the one small window in Merlin’s room, he blinked in annoyance and moved to cover his eyes when he realised his arm was trapped under a sleeping Merlin, Arthur instantly forgot all his troubles and stared at the boy’s sharp nose and big ears , Merlin shook awake and Arthur couldn’t help but wonder if it was his magic that told him someone was staring ‘I know I’m pretty but come on really!’ he whispered eyes only half open and Arthur rolled his eyes ‘your breath skinks’ he lied, it was probably true, but to Arthur nothing about Merlin was ever shy of perfection Merlin simply smiled his sheepish signature smile and Arthur had the urge to hold him tight and never let him get out of bed, but he couldn’t help but watch as Merlin slid out of the bed walked over to the bathroom.
Arthur stretched out on the bed ‘Merlin, we really have got to talk about everything today’ he said and heard a sigh from the bathroom but a reluctant agreement soon after. It was hours later when the pair were sat in a diner close to the hut, it had been Merlin’s idea to show Arthur some of the outside world, he had been right to assume the boy would be amazed, the entire walk Arthur’s head whipped from side to side asking Merlin a thousand questions and the boy had answered diligently, now they sat opposite one another in a semi crowded diner, spoons and milkshakes lying in front of them, Arthur had fawned over the chocolate concoction for 15 minutes before downing it ‘what’s the last thing you remember?’ merlin asked when they could finally avoid it no longer Arthur took a deep breath in ‘your eyes’ he said, Merlin waited for him to elaborate ‘I was wounded, Mordred stabbed me’ he started and Merlin nodded in conformation ‘you killed Morgana, but I was still dying, you’re a sorcerer’ he said looking into Merlin’s eyes at the last part and Merlin nodded again ‘still?’ Arthur asked and Merlin raised his eyebrows ‘yes Arthur still, I was born with it remember’ he muttered and Arthur continued ‘I died’ he finished ‘but before everything went dark I heard a voice, it said ,the once and future king will awaken when Albion needs him the most, when Albion needs him the most,’ Arthur explained the last of his story and Merlin’s eyebrows furrowed ‘you were alive then? ‘Arthur only shrugged swirling his straw in the empty cup.
Suddenly Arthur gasped and Merlin whipped his head around to see two boys holding hands and kissing each other’s cheek periodically he let out a sigh of relief but Arthur didn’t mimic him ‘w..what are they doing?’ he stuttered and Merlin placed a hand on his shoulder ‘Arthur, calm down times have changed, its alright now’ he whispered, desperately hoping Arthur wouldn’t oppose the couple but instead he looked almost relived ‘good’ he said firmly and Merlin almost gasped with shock but decided not to question it further

‘Tell me, what happened to the knights?’ he asked and Merlin looked away ‘Merlin?’ Arthur repeated and the boy swallowed heavily before turning to Arthur ‘Gwanie died in the battle’ he said softly and paused for Arthur’s reaction which came soon after ‘no’ he whispered ‘not Gwanie’ Arthur was shaking his head back and forth fumbling with his fingers, Merlin placed his hand on the other boy’s and he stilled ‘Percy was with him, he was brave Arthur, he fought with his last breath… I promise you would have been proud’ Merlin said, tears had pooled in Arthur’s eyes he nodded and Merlin continued not stopping for Arthur’s reaction this time ‘Gwen ruled over Camelot for a while after that, she died happily in her bed as an old woman but I left soon after I returned with the news of your…’ he trailed off looking into Arthur’s eyes ‘there was nothing left for me in Camelot’ he whispered and Arthur swallowed ‘I’m sorry Merlin, for leaving’ Arthur said voice breaking Merlin smiled and shook his head ‘I knew you were stupid Arthur but come on’ he said, his smile made a grin appear on Arthur’s face ‘I still maintain it Merlin, you’re the bravest man I know’ he said and Merlin tried not to think about the nights he had spent wailing to the skies and screaming into the ground after Arthur’s death ‘certainly more than you’ he retorted ‘when pigs fly’ Arthur exclaimed with a surprised chuckle.

‘Tell me, what was it like for you?’ Merlin asked his hand still on Arthur’s ‘I wasn’t conscious per se, but I could still feel things, not much, but just flashes of emotion, I knew you weren’t there’ he said voice fading as he finished his sentence and the sun itself couldn’t have rivalled the light on Merlin’s face, Arthur rolled his eyes ‘what I can’t figure out, is why I’m back’ Arthur said and Merlin turned serious nodding ‘me neither, I was told you would return at Albion’s time of need’ he said.
‘We might have to go see Killgarah’ Merlin said and Arthur gasped ‘HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE???’ he yelled ‘he’s immortal clotpole’ Merlin muttered pulling his wallet out and asking for the bill, he quickly paid the bill kicking Arthur’s leg under the table when he stared at the waitresses blue hair.

‘Where is he?’ Arthur asked as he followed Merlin and Merlin chuckled ‘his physical form collapsed a while ago’ he said and turned a corner to face a giant gold statue of a dragon ‘you’re going to talk to the statue?’ Arthur asked with an eyebrow raised ‘and here I thought you got smarter’ he muttered ‘you should have remained in the sea’ Merlin said seriously before turning to the dragon again he pulled a pair of black sunglasses over his eyes and Arthur saw a flash of gold before he heard a voice in his own head ‘the once and future king has returned I see’ it said and Arthur nearly jumped out of his skin ‘you must be overjoyed warlock’ the voice said again and some disgruntled muttering followed ‘Killgarah, why has Arthur awoken, what does Albion need?’ Merlin’s voice asked ‘It is not about Albion warlock, it is about Magic, Magic needs him’ the voice said ‘Magic? As a concept?’ Merlin asked and was met with a sigh ‘Warlock, you do not understand my words, the last of magic needs him’ the voice said and despite Merlin’s further questions It did not answer again.

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They were both seated on Merlin’s couch again when Arthur asked ‘what did he mean magic needs me?’ and Merlin shook his head ‘no clue’ he said both seemed deep in thought, Arthur cleared his throat ‘M-merlin’ he started and Merlin looked to him ‘when I was still injured Gaius told me that you weren’t just a sorcerer, you were the greatest, that magic flowed through you, that you were magic’ he said and Merlin nodded smiling he missed Gaius and it was nice to hear the old man had thought so highly of him ‘did you need me Merlin’ Arthur rushed out and Merlin snapped back every thought of Gaius leaving his head ‘what?’ he whispered despite knowing exactly what had been said, he couldn’t deny it, Merlin had started to feel empty, not in the way he felt when Arthur had just died but in the way that he wanted to die himself, he had nearly given up hope that Arthur would ever rise again, could it be, Merlin was all that was left of Magic in this world, had his need for Arthur woken him from the dead.

When Arthur snapped his fingers Merlin realized he hadn’t replied his mouth opened but no words came out, how do you tell your best friend that used to be a prince that you were in love with him, and when he died your entire world shattered into pieces, Arthur stood from the fire now, walking over to Merlin who was standing next to the sink, Merlin backed up against the wall as Arthur invaded his space, both the boys had forgotten to breathe, Arthur placed his fingers in Merlin’s hair, ‘tell me’ he whispered against his jaw Merlin nodded frantically leaning in but Arthur moved his face away ‘words’ he chided and Merlin groaned ‘prat’ he whispered ‘yes, I need you’ he replied and felt Arthur’s lips on his own, tears pooled in Merlin's eyes, he had wanted this for so long now, he almost couldn't believe it was happening 'Arthur' he whispered and the other boy nodded 'I know' he whispered back, they got lost in each other

It was almost an hour later and they were lying in Merlin's bed wrapped up in each other when Arthur asked ‘How long?’ as he ran his fingers through Merlin's raven hair ‘since, do you know how to walk on your knees’ Merlin teased and Arthur burst out laughing 'well you certainly do' he retorted and Merlin turned red. ‘Tell me, why didn’t you tell me’ Arthur asked and Merlin looked at him with an annoyed expression ‘for one, you were a prince, second a boy, plus you were happy with Gwen’ Merlin said drawing circles into Arthur’s arm ‘you really are stupid’ Arthur grumbled ‘I was only with Gwen because she reminded me of you, and I her of Morgana’ he muttered and Merlin whipped his head to the side ‘WHAT?’ he yelled and Arthur laughed ‘idiot’ Merlin scoffed ‘please, I was plenty obvious, didn’t you see how I sabotaged all your dates’ Merlin said eyes flashing gold and Arthur gasped ‘that was you!’ he exclaimed ‘you’re so oblivious Merlin, even Gwen knew when I told her my plans to leave everyone and everything behind but take you with me WHILE I was on a date with her’ Arthur said and Merlin cackled.

‘I have to pee’ Merlin groaned leaving the warm bed heading towards the bathroom and Arthur watched him, he didn’t know how long he had left on this new earth but if he got to spend them with Merlin he would make the most out of every day, Merlin was his in this life and the next he was Merlin’s. They were 2 sides of the same coin.