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She’d made an utter fool of herself, rambling on like that, and now she looked like a psych eval would be a good idea. Looking around town, you wouldn’t think anything had changed - Vince still ran Café Diem, the Sheriff’s office was right where it was supposed to be, and people all over town had datapads reviewing their experiment feeds even while relaxing. It was Eureka…
...Except it wasn’t her Eureka.
Jo sat on a bench near the newly bronze (but not really) Archimedes statue, trying not to let the water works flow. In her hand was the necklace with Zane’s engagement ring slipped onto it. It was his grandmother’s, she knew that much, but she didn’t know much else. How it had managed to survive the trip into 1947 and back, she didn’t know, but she knew it was a liability. An emotional tether.
Zane was different here. Logically, she knew that. But it hurt so much to face it like she normally faced her problems: head on, with guns blazing. That kind of full-force thinking was how she’d made it this far in life, but it wasn’t going to make things any easier this time around. Zane was a person. Not just that - he was a person she respected. Even loved. She couldn’t just slam the truth on him and endanger him of being sanctioned.
She absently flipped the ring over in her hand a few times, not even bothering to look at it. She stared on in blissful catatonia. She tried not to think, but sometimes a thought would bubble up and she’d shoot it down before it could do any damage.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
Would she have actually said yes? Probably. It wasn’t just the urgency caused by their excursion into 1947, but also her considerations from beforehand playing a part in her decision. Zane was an example of how a person could change, albeit slightly. In reality, the town had adapted to him. They made him feel welcome and important. Wanted. While he was technically required to stay in Eureka as part of his parole, that never came up, even between the two of them. To him, this was home. Because of that, the old, trickster, felon-ish Zane had melted away to reveal who he really was.
And now he was gone forever.
Sure, she could start over. Try to make it all happen again. But the damage had been done. They’d spent much longer as enemies in this timeline. The odds of her getting through to him a second time were much slimmer. She could try, but she had to wonder if the ends would justify the means. Would they still wind up together?
But the bigger question was: did she want them back together?
She’d originally left him on his bent knee. She had doubts about them. About him. And about her. What were they to one another, really? Was marriage the real end result for them? The more she thought about it, the less likely it seemed. And that worried her.
One thing was certain: looking at Zane still gave her a warm feeling. He still looked like Zane. He talked like him. And now, she knew what he was capable of, as a member of society. He just hadn’t realized it himself, yet.
As the ring flipped between her fingers, a thought popped up: maybe this was the way it should be. Maybe they’re better off not dating. But more than that - what if she was able to get through to him again, and not fall in love? Could they be - dare she think it - friends? That wasn’t really something they’d done or been pre-1947. Maybe the best thing she could do, at least for now, was to try to get him to be the best version of himself again. His future didn’t have to include her, but Eureka’s present needed to include him.
She clenched her fist around the necklace. She could do that. She could be professional. Guide him. Mold him into the Zane everyone remembered.
She just had to stop that annoying burning sensation in her heart when she saw him, first.
She heard the soft press of footsteps in the grass behind her. She didn’t look back. Instead, she stared forward, allowing whoever it was to take a spot next to her on the bench.
Carter leaned on his knees and sat next to her in silence, his chin in his hands. They sat that way for quite a while. It was nice he didn’t say anything. He had a way of forcing his way into others’ business. This time, he was simply letting Jo be in her head. It was very much appreciated.
“You heard?” Jo asked, not looking at him. Her voice cracked a little.
He glanced down at the ground before nodding solemnly. “Stark told me.”
They lapsed back into silence for another few minutes, allowing them to just be together.
“Today sucks,” he said.
“Yep.”
More silence.
“If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.”
She nodded. “Thanks, Carter.”
As he stood up to leave, he patted her on the shoulder. She didn’t react, but inwardly she appreciated it. It was the kind of silent support she sought.
“Home sweet home, huh?” he asked, knowing her answer.
She finally looked down at the necklace in her grasp before stowing it into her pocket. Out of sight, out of mind.
“Not quite.”