Chapter Text
“How about, something only one of us knows.”
“I sat alone in an empty compartment on the train first year.”
“Huh.” It made sense, from Kyle’s limited point of view, he hadn’t met Eric until the sorting.
….
Kyle stood by his best friend Stan as each person around them was called up by headmistress McGonagall. Kyle was trying to take in as much of his surroundings as possible, the high ceilings and extravagant lighting were as amazing as Stan had told him on the train earlier. He was shocked out of his revere by the sound of his name being called.
“Kyle Broflovski!”
He rushed to take his seat in front of the others, when he looked into the crowd he saw only a few familiar faces, Token and Bradley, newly sorted into Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff respectively, and Shelley Marsh, glaring at him from Slytherin. Kyle shuddered, thinking to himself that people better be right when they say the hat takes into account your choice, he did not want to end up there. As soon as he finished the thought he felt the sorting hat fall onto his wild hair and over his eyes.
Hmm…well, young man you’d do well in many houses…Resourceful, smart, determined.
Not Slytherin, Kyle thought back harshly, knowing where it was going.
Brash, maybe Gryffindor…but then again, no. It’s not bravery or glory you seek, but wisdom. Must be…
“Ravenclaw!”
Kyle was so relieved he almost didn’t hear the loud, mocking voice coming from where he had just been.
“Ha! Another Jew in Ravenclaw, why aren’t we surprised?”
“Hey!” Kyle and Stan turned and yelled at the same time. The voice had come from another first year, someone Kyle had never seen before. He was fat and short and his eyes sparkled meanly from under his neatly combed hair and shiny new wizard hat. He parted his smirk to say something else, but was interrupted by someone.
“Eric Cartman!” McGonagall called, and he walked, right up to the chair and removed his own hat. The sorting hat had barely grazed his ears before shouting out.
“Slytherin!”
...
“Well, now you have to say one.”
“Yeah, um. They still keep the Mirror of Erised in the room of requirement, I saw it there once.”
…
Kyle was fucking pissed. He couldn’t talk to Stan because he would just want to talk about Wendy, and he couldn’t go back to the common room because Wendy would just want to talk about Stan. He was beginning to regret ever listening to Stan when he asked Kyle to introduce them, but if he didn’t Stan would still probably be moping about her and he’d rather have a happy and obnoxious best friend than a sad and drunk one.
So instead of going up the stairs towards the towers, or down towards the basement. He stayed where he was, on the seventh floor hallway, slowly approaching the creepy-ass portrait of Barnabas the Barmy. He had to look away quickly from the wildly spinning and dancing trolls, it always gave him motion sickness to look at those for too long, probably because his house only held muggle portraiture, curtesy of his father’s family.
When he turned he found a door he had never seen, or needed, Kyle supposed, before. The room was nothing spectacular, he noted walking in, a nice armchair was placed atop a large rug, and the walls were mostly lined with library books, save the adjacent corner to where Kyle had walked in. Leaning against that edge of the room was a large gold framed mirror.
The mirror was pretty nondescript but still felt out of place to Kyle who couldn’t think of any reason why he would require a mirror at the time. He walked towards it, and upon noticing the writing at the top knew immediately what it was. Kyle was in awe of what it meant, this was a relic of the war, and probably valuable beyond belief. He debated about whether or not he should look, not sure if he really wanted to see, but his curiosity won out in the end.
Standing in front of the mirror he saw himself, older and graduating Hogwarts with a job offer in his hand. He was standing in an embrace, with a man whose face wasn’t quite visible. Around him Kyle’s parents and friends were watching, all proud of him, even his father was okay with his choice of partner and his mother happy with his decision not to go to college. It was perfect, but logically Kyle knew it would be an uphill battle to get there, if he ever did.
…
“I don’t know what that is, tell me something else.”
“I won’t tell you something else. You know, the mirror that shows what you want most in the world? Harry Potter used it his first year to defeat Voldemort.”
“I don’t subscribe to hippie propaganda.”
Kyle’s eyebrows furrowed at this, but he kept staring at the sky instead of turning to his companion.
“If we hadn't taken the Veritaserum I’d think you were lying, but you really are as ignorant as you seem.” He finally replied.
“I’m not ignorant, I just have my values and I stick to them.”
And even if it weren’t impossible for him to lie right now Kyle wouldn’t have doubted that for a second. Cartman is evil, manipulative, and overall the most frustrating person he’d ever met, but he was nothing if not consistent. There really was a method to his madness, even if it wasn't immediately evident. It was one of the things that Kyle found fascinating about him.
“I’m sure that’s what you believe, still you can’t say you wouldn't want to know your greatest desire.”
“I can.” Eric said, typical as he would never agree with Kyle unless it would benefit him later in some way. “I already have everything I want, I would see myself exactly as I am.”
This shocked Kyle, in the years he had known Eric he had never known him to be so delusional. He knew deep down he had problems, wanted things, Kyle had seen him in moments of weakness that couldn’t have been manufactured no matter how sociopathic he seemed. Kyle knew that Eric knew that wasn’t true. And then Kyle realized what that meant.
“You motherfucker!” Kyle shot up and stood over Eric.
“What?” Eric leaned up, his confused gaze meeting the redhead’s.
“You took the fucking antidote didn’t you?” Kyle was grabbing his robes now, trying to make him stand up too, but the unequal weight was too much for Kyle’s weak muscles to account for. He settled for getting lower, closer to Cartman, and pulling his fist back threateningly.
“Wait Kyle, Kyle!” He screamed at the fist aimed directly at his chubby face. “Even if I did how would hitting me fix anything? You’re a Ravenclaw, think!”
“You’re right.” Kyle lowered his hand to the pocket of his robes and pulled out his wand, “This will fix things.”
“Kyle! What the fuck?” Now he was really scared, tears were starting to build up in his eyes, hoping for a bit of sympathy from the other boy. “Think about it, even if I did take the antidote what would I do now? It’s over, even yours is starting to wear off.”
Kyle supposed that was true, but still why even bother in the first place if he wasn’t getting something out of it.
“I know you’re planning something, I’m sure you’ll go back to all your little slimy friends and tell them all my secrets.”
“What secrets? What did either of us say tonight that could be used against us, true or not?”
Well, that was true. Most of their time was spent exchanging mild chit-chat they never bothered with before, nothing too personal or too deep was asked by either one. The only thing that Cartman could have possibly gotten out of it was more observation time, knowing one’s enemy was always useful, Kyle supposed.
“Fine” Kyle lowered his wand in submission, “But if I find out this was part of some big scheme I’ll hex you into next month.”
“I’m glad you see it my way,” Eric said sitting up, “see you in Herbology tomorrow?”
“Sure thing,” Kyle replied, turning back to face him from where he had been, his hand on the doorknob to leave the Astronomy tower. He quickly opened the door and walked out, taking a moment to pop his head back in and finish his sentence. “Fatass.”
“Ay!”