Chapter Text
It had become a habit for Yuuki to spend his lunch break on the roof with the Phantom Thieves of the second year, either discussing their future targets, or simply chatting as a group of friends. Sometimes Haru and Makoto joined the conversation, but, usually, it was just the four of them.
Once again, he was there, this time accompanied only by Akira and Ann; and yet, neither of them spoke much that day. It was funny how not having Ryuji around suddenly made everything much quieter—and, to Yuuki, much sadder too. Being friends with Ryuji since their first year made him too used to his cheerful, energetic manners, enough to miss them when he wasn’t around.
“Do you know why Ryuji didn’t come today…?” asked Yuuki.
“Not really.” Ann thought for a moment, furrowing her brow as she faced Akira. “Do you think he got hurt yesterday?”
“I’ll send him a message later,” said Akira. “If he didn’t come to school, he should still be sleeping.”
Ann tilted her head, unsure. “You really think so? It’s Ryuji we’re talking about. He wakes up with the sun.”
“But he should be tired, right?” Akira insisted. “I know I am. If I wasn’t even more tired of my bedroom, I don’t think I’d even come—”
“Wait a minute…” Yuuki interrupted him. “Did you say he got hurt? What are you talking about?”
Both Akira and Ann looked at him, as if only then remembering that he wasn’t in the Metaverse with them on the previous day.
“Well, we had a few problems after defeating Shido,” said Akira. “Ryuji helped us out of it, but… maybe he got hurt and we didn’t notice it.”
Ann nodded, then pressed her lips into a line, looking at Akira. “Now that I think about it, he was limping a little when we left him, wasn’t he?”
Yuuki’s brain had to make an effort to fully absorb the meaning of those words. “You guys left him? While he was hurt?”
The question made Akira and Ann look at each other. They quickly lowered their gazes, seeming uncomfortable with the subject.
“I… didn’t really think about it at the time,” she admitted.
“Me neither,” said Akira.
Yuuki could do nothing but stare at them, unsure of what to say to that. But it didn’t matter… There was something else he should be doing at the moment.
“Where are you going?” asked Akira as Yuuki stood up.
“I’m calling him.”
Yuuki moved a few meters away from his friends, typing Ryuji’s number on his phone. A few seconds later, the familiar voice responded.
“Yuuki?”
He sounded fine… That was a relief.
“Ryuji?” he said. “Is everything alright? Why didn’t you come to school today?”
“Ah… My leg is kinda actin’ up since yesterday. Thought I should take a day off to rest.”
As they thought… It didn’t happen as much as before anymore, but it wasn’t uncommon for his injured leg to hurt sometimes. Yuuki had been there to see the worst of it, just after his surgery, so it didn’t surprise him anymore. Still, it was hard not to worry at least a little—especially knowing how much his friend refused to ask for help.
“Do you need something?” asked Yuuki. “Medicine, or anything else?”
“Nah, it’s fine.”
“Are you sure? It won’t be a problem for me.”
“I’m sure.” There was a small, half-contained laugh on the other side. “You worry too much, y’know?”
Ryuji’s laugh made Yuuki’s chest feel lighter: he sounded fine. “Someone has to take care of you, I guess.”
“I’m fine, really.”
“Alright.”
He could have ended the call there, but, before he did, a thought crossed his mind.
“Can I go see you after class?”
To his surprise, that question made Ryuji’s cheerful attitude falter.
“Sorry…” he said. “I think I wanna be alone for now.”
That was enough to make his worries grow again. He knew he tended to get anxious over nothing, but… Actually, that was the problem. Ryuji was tired and in pain… He should be resting, not reassuring his friends.
“I see,” said Yuuki. “That’s fine. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Alright.”
Before Yuuki could hang up, he heard Ryuji’s voice again.
“Hey, Yuuki…” His tone was back to its natural cheerfulness. “Thanks for callin’.”
Yuuki couldn’t hold back a slight smile. “Just take care of yourself.”
He ended the call, walking back to Akira and Ann, who had their eyes on him.
“Did you talk to him?” she asked.
Yuuki nodded. “Seems like his leg is hurting.”
“Oh.” Akira seemed to deflate with that response. “Well, at least it isn’t something worse.”
“Should we go see him after class?” suggested Ann.
“Actually,” said Yuki, “he said he wants to be alone.”
Akira raised his brow, surprised. “Did he?”
“That’s so unlike Ryuji…” said Ann. “He once asked me and Shiho to hang out with him while he had a fever in middle school… We had to drag him to the infirmary.”
“Sounds like something he would do.” Yuuki smiled at the thought. “I suppose it’s good that he chose to rest, then.”
“I agree,” said Akira. “I’ll buy him a melon bread or something tomorrow, to cheer him up.”
Ann looked at him, interested. “Will I get one too?”
Akira narrowed his eyes at her. “Does your leg hurt?”
“No,” she admitted, “but I’m a beautiful and lovely girl.”
“A beautiful, lovely, and independent girl, who can buy her own bread.”
Ann puffed her cheeks, and Yuuki couldn’t hold back a small laugh. It didn’t take long for the bell to ring, and the three of them walked back to class.
Yuuki had to look twice to make sure, as he passed by the shoe lockers, that the boy in front of Ryuji’s was actually his friend.
“Ryuji?”
Ryuji looked at him, then opened a friendly smile. “Hey, Yuuki. Mornin’.”
He looked… Completely different, to say the least. The first thing anyone would notice was the hair, now dyed black; but, other than that, his clothes… He was wearing the proper Shujin uniform, without any flashy piece of clothing in sight. Yuuki could do nothing but stare for a long while.
“What happened to you?”
That hadn’t been the most tactful way to ask, but Ryuji didn’t seem bothered by it. “Just thought I’d change my style a little.”
“Why?”
“Just felt like it.” Ryuji gave a small shrug. “It’s kinda funny, though… People ain’t even walkin’ away when they see me, anymore. But maybe that’s ‘cause they didn’t recognize me…”
Ryuji let out a small, slightly awkward laugh. Something about that still rubbed Yuuki the wrong way.
“Ryuji…” he said. “Is everything really alright?”
“Yeah! Everythin’ is fine.”
His cheerful attitude was still the same… Maybe Yuuki was the one thinking too much again—that seemed to be a problem when Ryuji was involved. Before he could say anything else, someone stopped by their side. It was Akira, to no one’s surprise, leaning close to Ryuji to stare at his face.
“What is this?” Akira forced an undignified tone. “Who is this nerd? Where did my favorite punk go?”
Ryuji chuckled in response, moving his gaze back to the locker.
“I almost didn’t recognize you…” Akira proceeded, still looking at Ryuji’s face. “I thought Yuuki was talking to some stranger. I was getting ready to fight you.”
“Thanks for the concern,” said Yuuki.
Akira offered him a playful wink. “Don’t mention it.”
Ryuji turned to face them again, absentmindedly running his fingers through his hair. “It really looks different, doesn’t it?”
“It really does…” With an amused smile, Akira reached for Ryuji’s hair, playing with it. “Not bad, though… But I’ll need some time to get used to it. Kawakami will be happy, though.”
“She sure will…”
Ryuji averted his gaze, leaning slightly away from Akira. He seemed… uncomfortable. Akira must have noticed it too, since he soon moved his hand away, the smile still on his face.
“How is your leg?” asked Akira.
“Ah, it’s fine,” said Ryuji. “Just needed to rest for a while.”
Akira nodded. He seemed about to say something else, but before he could, Ryuji spoke again. “I’ll go ahead to class. See what I missed yesterday.”
Those words made Akira furrow his brow. “Since when do you care about class?”
“Since today… I guess.” Ryuji showed a brief smile, offering a small wave to them as he walked away. “Well, see ya later.”
“See you…” Yuuki watched him as he made his way upstairs, unsure of what to think of that conversation.
In a moment, the smile completely faded from Akira’s face. “He’s acting weird, isn’t he?”
“I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed it,” said Yuuki.
Akira didn’t answer for a while. Then, with a sigh, he gave Yuuki a light pat on the arm. “Well… I guess we should be going too.”
Yuuki nodded, receiving a smile in return. It seemed forced, but he chose not to comment on it, accompanying Akira to their classroom without saying much else.
As much as he wanted to tell himself he was worrying too much, the following days didn’t make it easier for him to do so. Ryuji still spent his lunch break with them, but it was… It just wasn’t the same thing. He didn’t talk too much, seeming to react to their conversation more than actively participate in it. Yuuki was used to how loud and spontaneous Ryuji could be, getting excited over the smallest things, and laughing at the silliest comments.
Now, if Yuuki had to describe him, the first word in his mind was “distant”. He still talked and laughed, but they seemed more like mechanical actions than natural ones. Sometimes, his mind didn’t even seem to be fully there, to the point Yuuki couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong.
He tried to touch the subject a few times, without success. ‘Just a headache’, ‘I didn’t sleep much last night’, ‘I’m concerned about my mom’s health’. If he learned anything about Ryuji in those past few days, it was how easily he managed to come up with those excuses, without even missing a beat.
But they weren’t enough to ease his mind. That day, his concern was so loud in his head that he could barely pay attention to class. Discreetly, he took his phone out of his pocket, thinking for a moment before typing a message.
Yuuki: Are you free after class?
It didn’t take long for the answer to come.
Ryuji: Sorry, I have something to do.
Ryuji: Maybe next time.
Even without seeing Ryuji’s face, Yuuki had the feeling that was just another excuse. Did I do something to upset Ryuji? Is that why he’s acting strange around me?
No, that probably wasn’t the case… Ryuji wouldn’t change his appearance because of something like that, would he? Maybe the problem was somewhere else, like at home. Aoi Sakamoto didn’t seem to mind Ryuji’s style, but maybe something led the two of them to have a fight over it. Something like Ryuji hurting his leg again… Without a proper explanation, it wouldn’t be surprising if she thought it was the result of a fight, right?
Thinking about the possibility made his heart tighten. Everyone knew how much Ryuji loved his mother, and it wouldn’t be surprising if a fight with her affected him that much.
Yuuki: Is your leg really better?
Ryuji: Yes, thanks for asking!
Once again, a dismissive message. Yuuki sighed, defeated, placing his phone back inside his pocket. He hated the idea that Ryuji was hiding something important from him, but he still tried to remind himself that it was Ryuji’s choice. It didn’t mean that he didn’t trust Yuuki, just that he needed some space to deal with his own problems.
He was just overthinking things… Right…?
When a second week passed without any change, it became harder for Yuuki to convince himself that there was no reason to worry.
As the bells announcing the end of class rang, Yuuki quickly walked out of his classroom, waiting for Ryuji near the stairs. As his friend finally approached, Yuuki caught his attention with a brief wave.
“Ah, hey Yuuki,” Ryuji smiled at him.
Instead of returning the greeting, Yuuki chose to just go straight to the point. “I want to talk to you. Are you free today?”
Ryuji’s smile dissolved. “Sorry, but no… I’ve got a new part-time job, and I can’t be late.”
Oh, of course… Yuuki remembered Ryuji briefly mentioning it during lunch a few days before. A flower shop in Shibuya, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays after school… It had completely slipped his mind.
“Ah… Sure, I forgot.” Yuuki tried to think of something else, not wanting to miss his chance. “Are you free tomorrow, then?”
“Not really…” Ryuji averted his gaze, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Akira and Ann are probably free, though. You should ask them instead.”
The suggestion frustrated Yuuki. “But I want to spend time with you!”
“Why?”
Yuuki widened his eyes. The question was a little jarring, especially after the many times they spent time together for no reason at all. “What do you mean why?”
“Nothing!” Ryuji added, offering him a pat on the shoulder and a slight smile. “I’ll talk to you later, then.”
Before Yuuki could say anything else, Ryuji quickly made his way downstairs. Ran away from our conversation, Yuuki couldn’t help but think. That brief exchange was enough to make his anxiety grow: maybe he really was the problem, after all.
“Hey, Yuuki!”
Akira’s voice called his attention. He raised his eyes, seeing him and Ann walking in his direction with slightly amused smiles.
“What happened?” asked Akira. “You just ran out of class today…”
Yuuki’s brain barely registered that question, too full to process anything else. “Is Ryuji avoiding you two?”
Akira blinked, seeming taken aback by the question. “Avoiding? No, not really…” He played with his hair as he spoke. “But, you know… it’s been a while since he last asked to hang out with me.”
“Yes… Same here.” Ann furrowed her brow. “But maybe that’s because of his new job? Between two part-time jobs, school, and…” She made a small pause. “Our extra-curricular activities, he should be tired.”
“True…” agreed Akira. “I barely had time to sleep when I was still working at the beef bowl restaurant at night. Ryuji still drops by the Leblanc every other day to help me with the laundry, though. But he leaves as soon as he’s finished.”
Yuuki stared at him, wide-eyed. He knew Ryuji had been helping Akira since his brief—and traumatizing—stay at the police station, but quite some time had passed since then, and Akira was already much better than in those first few days. “Is he still doing that?”
The question made Akira avert his gaze. “Yes… I told him many times he didn’t have to, but he insisted.”
Ann smirked. “Are you sure you just didn’t get lazy?”
She said that in a playful tone, but Akira kept his gaze low, clearly uncomfortable.
“Maybe…” Akira sighed, raising his head. “I should talk to him again about it. It should be too much with everything he’s doing now.”
“Please, do,” said Yuuki with a small laugh. “You know how Ryuji is… He would clean your bedroom every day if you asked him to.”
Akira showed a half-grin. “Maybe I should ask him to, then…” Before either of them could respond, Akira waved his hand in front of his face. “Just kidding, I’m not that terrible…”
Ann twisted her lips. “Coming from you, wouldn’t doubt it…”
Akira forced a small laugh, then lowered his eyes. Maybe Yuuki was imagining things, but, for a moment, he seemed really tired. He muttered under his breath: “I guess you wouldn’t.”
“What was that?” asked Ann.
Akira shook his head. “Nothing. Sorry, just got distracted.” In a second, Akira had a smile back on his face. “Anyway, Sojiro had something to do today, and asked me to take care of Leblanc after class. See you tomorrow!”
Yuuki observed him in disbelief. First Ryuji ran away from a conversation, and now Akira… Was he letting something slip by? He looked at Ann, who let out a small sigh.
“That leaves the two of us, I guess…” she said. “Want to eat some crepes on the way back?”
Honestly, Yuuki didn’t feel like going out that day… But he also knew that, if he went straight home, he would spend the rest of the day alone with his anxiety. An afternoon with Ann seemed like a much more pleasant alternative. He offered her a smile. “Why not?”
They made their way to Shibuya without haste, casually chatting without mentioning Ryuji or Akira. Those two didn’t leave Yuuki’s mind, but accompanying Ann also helped soothe his worries a little bit.
“Listen, Yuuki…”
The sudden change in Ann’s tone, to a slightly hesitant one, caught him off-guard.
“What?” he asked.
“How should I put it…?” She thought for a moment. “Do you know that feeling when you know you did something that hurt someone, but… You also feel like it’s too late to apologize?”
Her words immediately brought Shiho to his mind. After her attempted suicide, Ann kept blaming herself for allowing such a thing to happen, despite all the times they all said there was nothing she could have done—besides, deep down, Yuuki knew that, being the one who told Shiho to go see Kamoshida that day, he was much more at fault than her.
“I certainly do…” he muttered.
His low answer made Ann widen her eyes. “Ah… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s fine,” answered Yuuki, forcing a smile. “So, what were you saying?”
Ann hesitated for a moment, but then shook her head. “No, forget about it. Actually… I don’t think I want to have this conversation either.”
“Are you sure? You can talk to me if you want.”
“I know.” She made a pause, considering it. “Thanks, but I’d rather just talk about anything else right now.”
Yuuki nodded, somehow understanding how she felt.
“Crepes, then?” he suggested.
The question brought the smile back to her face. “Crepes it is.”
Yuuki hoped things would get better on their own as time passed, but they didn’t. If anything, that sudden distance between their group only seemed to grow each day.
After a few days of palpable awkwardness, Ryuji stopped having lunch with them, saying he had to use that time to study for the approaching tests. As for Akira, despite always being present, sometimes it was almost as if he wasn’t there, his mind seeming to drift away from the conversation, only coming back when someone talked directly to him. He then would offer the group a brief laugh and an excuse about studying until late at night for his tests.
In a few weeks, the only time they would be all together was during the meetings of the Phantom Thieves. If the rest of the group noticed that change, they chose not to mention it, acting naturally while they discussed their next targets. He wondered if the others really couldn’t feel that heavy atmosphere, or if it just didn’t bother them at all… Sometimes, he had the feeling he wasn’t the only one who noticed something was wrong, but, most of the time, he just couldn’t tell.
He still had those worries in his mind when Akira approached him during lunch break one day, with a concerned expression on his face.
“Hey, Yuuki… Can we talk?”
Yuuki’s heart jumped. Was he about to finally tell him what was going on? Why everything suddenly seemed so off? He made an effort to keep his face calm, not wanting to seem too eager to know and make Akira change his mind. “Sure… Did something happen?”
Akira bit his lip, glancing around. “Let’s find a more private place first.”
Yuuki agreed with a nod, following Akira to the roof. Seeing that it was empty, Yuuki closed the door behind him, facing Akira, who had his gaze on the floor. He seemed anxious, and it only made Yuuki feel more nervous.
“So…” said Yuuki, calling Akira’s attention. “What did you want to talk about?”
Akira raised his eyes to him, hesitant. “Did Ryuji tell you anything?”
For some reason, that question caused a sting in his heart. “No, he didn’t… We haven’t talked much these past few days.”
“I see…” Akira lowered his gaze again, absentmindedly playing with his hair. “So, you don’t know if anything happened to him, do you?”
Yuuki stared at him, suddenly concerned with the direction that conversation was taking. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know if I should…” Akira thought for a moment, then let out a loud, frustrated sigh. “Ah, fuck it…”
“What? Did something happen?”
Akira glanced at him, then slowly nodded. “Yesterday, at the Metaverse…” He lowered his tone. “His persona just… disappeared.”
“Disappeared…?” Yuuki frowned at those words. “Why?”
Akira shook his head. “I don’t know. Out of nowhere, it just vanished… Caught us all by surprise.”
Yuuki stared at him, unable to completely grasp the situation. “Did this ever happen before? To any of you?”
“No,” said Akira. “We didn’t even know it could happen… Not even Morgana knew about it.”
A wave of worries filled Yuuki’s mind at once, making it difficult to think rationally. He tried to focus on one of them at a time, but it was more difficult than it seemed. “He wasn’t hurt, was he?”
“No…” Akira’s expression relaxed just a little. “Thankfully, Yusuke was right next to him when it happened, and protected him from the shadows.” He made a pause. “I tried to talk to him when we left Mementos, but… He said nothing. Walked away without another word.”
Yuuki’s heart felt heavy in his chest. “It must have been a shock to him.”
“I know…” Akira crossed his arms, still not looking directly at Yuuki. “I tried to call him yesterday, but he didn’t answer. Today, I tried to talk to him before class, but he just… Shrugged it off. Said he’s leaving the team.”
Those words hit Yuuki like a punch. “Leaving…?”
“Yes…” said Akira. “I know he can’t fight without his persona, but… There should be something we can do, right? Still… He gave up… Just like that.”
“I didn’t know…”
Yuuki couldn’t say anything else. He knew how important being a Phantom Thief was for Ryuji, and to hear that he gave up on it so quickly was…
“I see…” Akira’s voice brought his attention back. “So he didn’t talk to you either. I thought I should ask you, since…” He hesitated. “You know, he’s closer to you than me.”
Yuuki furrowed his brow. “I thought you were his best friend.”
“Maybe I was…” Akira gave a small shrug. “Not anymore, though.”
“Why are you saying that?”
Akira opened his mouth, but seemed to change his mind, shaking his head instead. “Sorry… I shouldn’t be making this about myself.”
Yuuki wanted to insist on the subject, but Akira continued before he could.
“Anyway, if Ryuji talks to you… Try to cheer him up a little, okay?” He offered Yuuki a tiny, tired smile. “I think he needs it.”
“Alright.”
Akira walked to the door, but before he could leave, Yuuki forced himself to speak. “Akira…”
Akira looked at Yuuki over his shoulder. “Yes?”
What should he even say? If he didn’t do anything, things would stay the same… But he couldn’t force Akira to talk. If he tried, he would probably just distance himself even more. Yuuki took a deep breath, trying to clear his head. “Are you sure you don’t have anything to tell me?”
“Like what?”
That dismissive question shattered his hopes. He isn’t going to open up to me, is he?
“I don’t know…” said Yuuki. “Anything.”
As expected, Akira shook his head without a second thought. “No. Everything is fine. Other than this, of course…”
“If you say so.”
Akira offered him a smile before opening the door. Without saying anything, Yuuki followed him back to the classroom, aware that he wouldn’t be able to pay attention to anything for the rest of the day.