Chapter Text
Chapter 1
As Ted inches closer to Rebecca's office, he can hear more than one swift voice speaking. He silently curses to himself. He had hoped to deal with just Rebecca's pity-filled eyes and cautious tone, not Keeley's and Higgins as well. However, it seemed that as long as his face was plastered on that morning's paper that it was inevitable to avoid others' concern. As much as it's touching to know the good folks at Richmond care about him, it's still unnerving to have a private struggle announced to the world. Made public for criticism and opinions that he didn't ask for.
Ted sighs to himself and quickly musters a wide-eye grin as he crosses the threshold into her office.
"Hey. What's the story, Paul Shorey?"
"Ted," Keeley, Rebecca, and Higgins delicately say as he maintains his chipper demeanor.
"So sorry about the article, Ted."
He dismisses her concern.
"Oh, that's okay, Keeley. You know what they say. No such thing as bad publicity, right? Though I think they might of been wrong about that one, which is a bummer 'cause they were spot on with the beer before liquor thing."
He hands Rebecca her beloved box of biscuits. She graciously accepts.
"Thank you, Ted. And you know that you have our full support."
He nods in appreciation to Rebecca's words. The small group discusses further their frustrations around the situation and offerings of retaliation.
"Now, now, there's no need to be a couple of wet hens. Bottom line, once again, everything in that article was true. In the great words of Lizzo, Truth hurts. And not to toot my own horn or nothing, but I have pretty high pain tolerance," Ted insists with his irresistibly cheery disposition.
Higgins and Keeley drop the topic and speak amongst themselves. Rebecca shoots Ted a poignant look as she picks out a biscuit. He shrugs in response and eagerly watches as she takes a bite into the baked good.
Rebecca's face contorts as she stops herself from spitting.
"Oh, God. These taste like shit."
Everyone turns to Rebecca, who slowly chews, trying to make sense of the unusually bitter and salty taste.
"Oh, yeah. It was a rough night, and I am now absolutely positive that I switched the salt and sugar. I'm sorry about that," Ted apologizes as he reaches to take back the pink box.
To his surprise, she protests and continues to eat the botched batch. Ted compares them to Heather Locklear, and they all unanimously agree.
Rapid knocks on the door catch the four's attention. In the entrance to the office stands Roy, followed by Beard. Both Beard and Roy give a grunt in greeting. Higgins clears his throat as he ushers the two men of few words to the couch.
"Good. Now that everyone is here, Keeley and I have some news."
"Mhmm. So, like everyone is talking about this upcoming match with Brentford and not that our boys or gaffers need an extra good luck charm, but we are hosting a contest of sorts for AFC Richmond's new mascot!"
"It's called the Pawscot Idol."
Keeley and Higgins giggle excitedly.
"Well, hot dog, if that isn't the most adorable thing I've heard today!"
Ted's excitement heightens Higgin's and Keeley's, and the trio begin to go down the rabbit hole. Meanwhile, Beard, Rebecca, and Roy share looks of concern and apprehension.
"Oy!"
The three pause and look at Roy.
"Ahem, I think what Roy was trying to eloquently ask is what does this umm.--
"Pawscot Idol."
"Right. Pawscot Idol has to do with us?"
Keeley bounds to Rebecca's side and playful shoves her shoulder.
"Babes, we need judges! And who can resist the sweet faces of greyhound pups?!" Keeley says with the curl of her bottom lip.
Roy and Rebecca immediately raise their hand, Beard follows slowly behind.
Higgins adjusted his glasses, "Usually, I'd just make the selection, but Keeley's suggestion of creating a video around this for our fans is quite ingenious. As we brace ourselves for a brand new start, it's best to have a fresh face mascot represent that as well. Also, a memorable way to honor Earl, don't you all think?"
There's a brief silence at the mention of the former mascot.
"Well, you two can call me Brandy because I'm down," Ted says as he crosses the room to high-five the two.
"Do I have to touch the furry bastards?"
"No, not at all. Unless you'd like…."
Roy growls at the notion.
"Right. No, there will be a safe distance between the judges' table and the contestants. And the shelter's handlers will be on standby. Some of the players have so kindly offered to escort each pup, so none of them go wandering off during the shoot," Higgins insists.
"Come on, don't tell me you three are scared of big bad puppies," Keeley taunts.
"Keeley, dogs are just so yappy. And animals and I have never mixed." Rebecca says as she gets up to pour herself a cup of tea.
Roy and Beard nod in agreement with Rebecca.
"Oh, come on, Beard. You know it's gonna be fun, it's like AGT but for dogs," Ted encourages his right-hand man.
"Westminster. It'd be Westminster, not AGT."
"Oh shoot, you right. I forgot about that. But come on, I sure as heck can say having you all by my side being more curious rather than judging these lil hushpuppies would make me feel a whole lot better."
From behind, Ted, Higgins, and Keeley give their best puppy eye looks.
Rolling his eyes, Roy cracks first, followed by Beard and Rebecca."
"Fuck."
"Alright."
"Fine."
Higgins, Keeley, and Ted celebrate. Higgins leaves to confirm the final arrangements with Barkingham Palace as Roy, Keeley, and Beard take their leave.
As Ted turns to head out, Rebecca calls out to him.
"Playing hardball, Coach Lasso." Rebecca playfully says.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Ted rolls on the ball of his feet.
"Well, we all need a little push here and there. But I did mean it. It'd be nice to take my mind off the pressure this week brings. Animals are good support for these kinds of things."
"Ted...if there's anything else I can do. Say the word, and I'll--," Ted cuts her off.
"You're doing enough. It's appreciated, Boss. I may not be one hundred percent, but that's okay."
The two sit in silence and give one other a soft smile. Ted breaks it first.
"Well, I better go on and hit the pitch. Catch later, alligator."
"In a while...crocodile?" Rebecca calls out, unsure if she said the goodbye correctly.
Ted freezes and whips his head to stare at Rebecca; she's mid-bite of another biscuit.
"Boss, you sure know the way to a man's heart," the words tumble out. Usually, Ted catches himself, but he couldn't help it. He wasn't sure exactly why, but when Rebecca humored him, it just got him all excited.
Rebecca winks at him as Ted exits with an enthusiastic whoop.
---
The following day, Ted jogs out to the pitch. A giddiness runs through him as he takes in the sight of an elaborate stage with a panel table a few feet away. The smell of freshly cut grass and the sharp mid-morning breeze keeps him on his toes. Boisterous barking overpowers his greeting as he approaches the Beard, Higgins, Roy, and Keeley.
"Wowzers! Them pups really got some lungs, don't they!"
"Those little shits haven't shut up since we've been out here. Let's get this over with," Roy growls.
Keeley kisses him on the cheek before gently pushing him to his seat. Beard follows suit while Higgins goes backstage, and Keeley talks with the videographer. Ted looks and notices one person missing, their fierce Amazonian Boss, to be exact.
"Say, where's the Boss lady…."
"Right behind you, Ted!"
Ted jumps at Rebecca's voice so close to him. How she manages to sneak up is lost to him.
"Whew! You had me more rattled than marbles in a jar, but not enough that I lost them. Did I tell you about the time I lost my Cousin Steve's Marble collection--"
"Good Morning to you too, Ted. Apologies for the scare," she says as she tightens her mint-colored plush trench coat. The breeze sends a slight shiver through her and blows a strand of her curled blonde locks into her eye.
"Looks like you got yourself a case of Danny Zuko there, Boss. Don't you worry though, some time playing with some pups will warm those bones. Although you look like a million bucks today, well, you always do, but don't you think you're a tad overdressed for today's activities."
Rebecca walks to one of the last open seats behind the table, trailing behind is Ted.
"I said nothing about playing with the animals, Ted."
"I know. I did. Call it a hunch; I don't believe even the great Rebecca Welton can resist these levels of cuteness."
“No promises, Coach Lasso.”
Ted sits beside her and reaches into his pockets, pulling out a familiar pink box.
"Oh, before I forget, Biscuits with the Boss, Pawscot Idol edition."
Accepting them, she digs in and pulls out a bone-shaped biscuit. Rebecca shoots Ted a fake exasperated look.
"Couldn't help yourself, could you?"
"Am I in the doghouse, Boss?"
She wanted to roll her eyes, but instead, Rebecca let out a bellied laugh as she took a bite of the biscuit. It was a terribly typical Lasso pun, but it was nearly impossible for her not to succumb to the daily folksy charisma that falls from Ted's lips.
Keeley runs in front of the table.
"We're gonna start soon, Places everyone! Are we good, Higgins?"
Higgins flashes two thumbs up from the side, and Keeley puts on her best model smile. Soon the camera is rolling, and music cues.
"Hello, I'm Keeley Jones, and you've tuned into AFC Richmond's first annual Pawscot Idol. The search for Richmond's newest greyhound."
Roy leans over and whispers to Rebecca, "Dear God, first annual. We're doing this shit again?"
"I'll ensure that this new one spends less time on the pitch, so we don't," Rebecca murmurs.
Looking past the judges' table, Keeley speaks into the camera and introduces Beard, Roy, Rebecca, and Ted, who give signature hellos.
"Time to bring out our contestants. First up escorted by Colin Hughes is Miss Tina Feyhound!
Colin, dressed in a bright pink turtle neck identical to the fawn dog's, struts the runway. Tina eagerly matches his step as they reach the end of the runway. Colin picks her up and out of his pockets, pulls out mini glasses, and sets them on the pup's face.
"On Wednesdays, we wear pink," Collin declares as he strikes a pose with Tina in his arms.
Claps and loud screams fill the air.
"Fucking brilliant, Collin! Judges, thoughts on Collin and Tina Feyhound?
There's some sniffling on the panel coming from Beard, who sits in his signature arm-crossed position and his eyes hidden behind his shades.
"It's just dusty out here today."
"Well, if you don't mind me kicking us off because I have so many things to say."
"Succinctly, Ted. Try to limit the number of anecdotes."
"Noted, Boss lady. Can I just say the name alone is perfect, and she is just an absolute knockout! I've always had a sweet spot for Tina Fey."
"Does she top, Diane Sawyer, Coach?"
Ted lets out a low whistle, "Now I hate to choose, but yes, she would."
"Say, you look like that one fellow Lemon dates in 30 rock. What was that boyfriend's name?"
Keeley chimes in, hoping to interrupt the side topic. "You-hoo! Judges, back to the task hand please, alright?" Her words fall on death ears.
"Quite right, Roy. Uncannyingly so," Rebecca agrees and looks to Ted with close scrutiny.
"Oh y'all mean, Floyd? You know, Beard here and plenty of other good folks back home always said that, but I never really saw it. I'm flattered all the same, though."
"He was an SNL cast member too. Did that bit with the awful hairstyle and stupid smile on his face."
"What was more awful was the hairdo or the dancing," Beard notes. It causes a few chuckles to slip from Roy and Rebecca.
To himself, Ted mumbles, "I thought the fella's dance moves were alright, to each their own, I guess."
"Oy! Fucking hell, thoughts on Tina Feyhound!" Keeley yells as she shoots them all daggers. They all straighten up and Ted is the first to speak.
"If I can speak for all the judges, I'd say that Miss Tina Feyhound is totally fetch."
They all give the dog a final round of applause before Keeley introduces the next dog.
"Coming in with a zest of life and with a true royal is Dani Rojas escorting the Queen Beyhound."
Dani cautiously walks the runway with Queen Beyhound sitting in arms. His scared expression is not lost on anyone. The red hound sits peacefully with a dog-sized crown on its head. Looking to the side, Dani catches Jamie's eye, who mouths for him to breathe. Nodding, Dani makes it to the end of the runway.
"They're you go bro! Attaboy, Dani!" Jamie shouts followed by the rest of the players on side awaiting their turn. The cheers eases Dani a bit.
"Bow Down to the Queen." Dani call, the nerves evident in his voice.
He tries to adjust her crown, but she gives a small bark that sends his hand retracting back.
"She's feisty and takes no shits. I like that one," Roy remarks.
The rest of the judges chime in with their thoughts. Time passes, and the competition is nearly over. Keeley calls back all the dogs and the players to the stage.
"Okay, Judges, it's time for you all to decide the top two pups who will enter our semi-finals. After this video is posted, our fans get to vote who is the next AFC Richmond Greyhound that will be announced during halftime at the Brentford match."
Keeley gestures back to all the dogs being held or on leashes.
"Will it be; Macy Grayhound, Queen Beyhound, Dr. Dre-Hound, Kan-Yehound, Andra Dayhound, Dick Greysound, Dorian Grayhound, and last but not least, Tina Feyhound."
"Keeley and Higgins really went all out with the names, didn't they?" Rebecca tells Ted.
"I wouldn't have expected anything less. They're doggone perfect."
Rebecca stares at him.
"Just a dog hair over with canine puns, aren't I?"
Rebecca doesn't even blink.
"Right. The last one, I promise."
Roy, Rebecca, Beard, and Ted deliberate for a few minutes before turning back to Keeley.
"Oy! Babe! We made our decision."
"We decided to go with, a drumroll please," Ted yells. Beard is the only one to rapidly slap the table.
"Macy Grayhound and Tina Feyhound!"
Roy and Rebecca politely clap while Ted runs to the stage as Colin and Sam swing the two semi-finalists around in excitement.
Keeley signs off, and the video ends. Ted is now lying in the middle of the stage, surrounded by all the puppies. Zorreux, Issac, Jan Maas, Sam, Collin, Cumberbatch, Jamie, and Dani, who stand a distance away, encourage the dogs to "attack" the gaffer.
Pulling out her phone, Keeley takes quick snapshots of the scene before.
"This is PR gold. These are going straight to IG!"
Roy, Beard, and Rebecca make their way to the stage, and with their appearance, a few of the pups bound to them, leaving Ted in the dust.
Queen Beyhound prances at Roy, who just stares. She growls at him, and he growls back until at the same time they stop. They're locked in an eye battle, and only a few seconds pass before Roy scoops the dog up.
"Fuck! Keeley, we're taking this posh little bitch with us!
Sauntering up to Beard and sitting patiently at his side is Dick Greysound. He bends down and pats the pup on the head. As Ted gets up and holds Tina Feyhound in his arms as the others turn their attention to the players, he catches Rebecca's eye. He walks up to her.
"Now, Boss. Tell me again how immune you are to these bundles of rainbows and sunshine," he asks her as he beams at Tina in his arms.
"It's good to see a genuine Lasso smile on your face. I was worried."
"I've been smiling a ton."
"Ted, you don't have to keep pretending. At least not at this moment," Rebecca lays a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Hmph. You're good. I reckon there's a lot of mixed emotions. More mixed than chex. I know these high tides are just temporary, just trying to ride them out. And the little Miss in my arms is exactly what I need. A co-captain!"
Rebecca stretches a finger to rub the puppy's belly.
"It's good to see my favorite gaffer in a better mood."
Ted gasps, "I'm your favorite!"
"Hush, you."
"You right, don't need the others to hear you speak about your favoritism, but let me say I'm highly honored.
Rebecca giggles to herself, but it's cut short when Macy Grayhound jumps up at her legs. She stands frozen.
"Ted, a little help."
He shakes his head and hands Tina, to Rebecca, who holds her with outstretched arms, and he scoops Macy into his own.
"Now, just relax, and they'll relax too." He caresses the puppy, who starts to stay put. Rebecca softens at the sight of Ted petting the dog. Following his actions, she cradles Tina closer, and the puppy begins to pepper her in kisses, much to her surprise and discomfort. Yet, a smile breaks in the corner of Rebecca's face.
"Well now, I guess it's a sign."
"What?"
"I know we have to wait till the game, but little Tina there stole my heart, and I was thinking of adopting her. But I was unsure.
"And now?"
"Well, if she can make you smile, then she definitely is a keeper. A nice little ace to have if I never need to convince you of anything." Ted answers with a wink.
He sets down Macy, who scampers away, and Rebecca does the same with Tina.
"I think she was behaving because you were near. She does seem to gravitate toward you the most. Not that it's hard for you to attract people in. You're like the sun. An annoying presence at times but necessary and life-changing," Rebecca says as she looks at Ted. Brown eyes lock onto blue eyes.
Like times before, the air shifts between them. Unclear how or what it means, Ted ducks his head and watches the team with the animals.
"Does that mean I'm hot too?"
He looks back to Rebecca, who stands with a deer in a headlight expression. Before she can say anything, raucous laughter from Dani captures their attention.
He's being overwhelmed by the puppies.
"Ah! You cachorros, I'm defeated by your cuteness!"
Rebecca and Ted share a look before breaking out into fits of laughter. The last moment is forgotten, but an undefined, lingering, yet familiar feeling emerges in both as they walk away.