Chapter Text
Where had it gone wrong?
Ryuji slumped against the wall, hearing the shouts of his teammates but also not quite registering their words, holding onto his neck with a dazed expression on his face, tasting metal. Nothing they yelled at him made him move or react, and he let a gentle hand guide him to his feet, their arm supporting his weight.
"-Skull? Skull!"
He blinked, looking into blue eyes, seeing Morgana frowning at him. He was slumped against a different wall-when had he got there?
"There you are! I healed you, so it's all good now, snap out of it! We've got targets to take care of!" Morgana's voice was slightly shrill, and Ryuji winced, not seeing the way Morgana's tail drooped at the lack of reaction, turning to the others with a hopeless expression on his face. "Skull?"
Ryuji wasn't shocked because of the injury. He knew it had already been healed. He watched it happen.
It was just-
It was-
He couldn't speak.
His thoughts were so loud, swarming like flies around and around his brain and he couldn't say anything, throat closing up, blood pouring into his mouth, tiny little sharp needles stabbing him over and over every time he tried.
The shadow had smashed him against a wall, clawed hands fixing around his neck and squeezing, listening to the strangled noises he had let out, watching him struggle against that stupid hand, limbs flailing around as he begged to be let go. And then-
Taking a deep breath, he ignored that it ached to do so.
Something had snapped. At the time, he had been sure it was his neck bone or something, and that he was dead (his mom wouldn't even know how he died, and that hurt). But when he hadn't died, instead feeling the horrible rush of blood into his mouth, some of it dripping over his lips and choking him even more than the hand was, he had honestly felt relief. It was just...when he went to scream again, begging for the others to help, all that had come out was a nauseating sound, garbled noises and vague words that hadn't sounded human, let alone coherent. And it had hurt, so bad that he immediately stopped, tears pricking up in his eyes and saliva mixing with the blood in his mouth, his stomach churning uncomfortably.
"Skull."
A gentle voice spoke to him, and he looked up when a hand rested on his shoulder, gazing into Akira's eyes. Eyes that looked so upset (god, he had worried them again, he needed to grin and say something to change the mood-wait he couldn't speak, what was he supposed to do-)
"Skull. Say something."
Akira sounded pleading.
Using all the effort he could spare, he shook his head slowly, clenching his fists to distract himself from the prickling in his eyes, taking shaky breaths in, ignoring how the cold air stung against whatever was wrong with his throat.
"W-What do you mean no?" It was Ann this time, and she stepped forward, clutching her whip like a lifeline. "Skull-come on, you're worrying us. Say something."
Another shake of the head.
The grip on his shoulder tightened for a second, before Akira stood up, fidgeting anxiously with his fingers. "Mona, you did heal him, right?"
"Of course I did! I don't know why-" Morgana paused, looking at Ryuji with an unreadable expression. "Healing magic is meant to fix everything. I don't understand. I don't even know what's wrong."
I can't speak. I can't say anything. It hurts so bad. Fix it, fix it please, I'm begging you, please.
"That's it. We're going back to the real world, and you're coming to Takemi with me." The last part was aimed at him, he knew that, but he couldn't bring himself to react, letting himself get lead to wherever Akira wanted to go, eyes unfocused.
He was the loudmouth everyone knew. Ann always told him that his voice was too loud for his own good, and the fact he was able to keep talking in any situation was a blessing and a curse. It was his defining characteristic. Akira liked that he talked a lot. He said that it made him more likely to talk, and that Ryuji helped make him more comfortable. Morgana always complained, but he always went along with Ryuji's conversations.
He needed to be loud.
His throat hurt.
Takemi turned around from her desk with a sigh, and Ryuji avoided her eye contact, already knowing it was bad news. She had the look on her face that all doctors did when something was wrong-the badly disguised worry and pity that they tried to hide with a mask of calm.
It never worked, they always made him feel worse.
"He's suffered extreme trauma to his larynx." She spoke to Akira, and not Ryuji. "The larynx holds the vocal cords-usually with these injuries you can gain your voice back, but..."
He closed his eyes, already knowing what was coming next.
"His injuries are so severe that I doubt he'll speak ever again."
There was a swiftly muttered conversation that happened between Takemi and Akira, but Ryuji couldn't bring himself to care enough to listen, zoning out a little. How was he going to go home and tell his mom that he couldn't speak anymore? That he had gotten himself in danger and hurt himself again?
Takemi slipped out the room, and Akira sat down on the bed next to him, tentatively wrapping his arm around Ryuji's shoulders. Ryuji leant into the touch, the pain from his throat numbed from the painkillers. There was silence, silence that Ryuji usually would have filled.
"I'm sorry."
Eyes widening, he opened his mouth to disagree, before realising and shutting it, frowning.
"We should've been more careful." A hand weaved through Ryuji's hair, comfortingly stroking his head. "We were too reckless-relied too much on Morgana."
Ryuji shook his head slowly.
Akira moved away, leaving Ryuji's side cold, before grabbing Ryuji's head with his hands, making them look into each other's eyes, Akira's eyes burning into his. "I promise that won't happen again, and I promise to stay by your side. You're so important to me, so-so please, don't disappear."
This was the most Akira had spoken in one go, Ryuji noticed. He nodded slowly, not really believing him.
"No, I mean it." Akira refused to let go or to stop staring at him. "I care about you so, so much, and it doesn't matter that you can't speak, you're still Ryuji-the Ryuji I love and care about. My...best friend."
Smiling, he let himself be wrapped in Akira's arms again, listening to him whisper into Ryuji's ears random promises. Promises to take care of him, to fix his mistake, to make sure people don't bother him-more than Ryuji deserved, if he was going to be honest.
"I'm so sorry, Ryuji, I really am."
There was silence, only broken by the sound of the rain outside.