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It was eight o’clock in the p.m., and Nandor was still inside his coffin. He was usually awoken at this time, after the sun had safely set beneath the horizon line, however tonight he had awoken on his own. Usually, it was the sound of Guillermo making his way down the hall that stirred the vampire from his slumber. Nandor could recognize his familiar’s footsteps easily, and they were always the first thing he heard when he rose to meet the day -- or night, rather.
But this night had started off with silence. Nandor awoke to it, and it settled around him like a thick fog. Deep in his gut he got the idea that something was wrong -- however, his brain convinced him it was something a little less dramatic.
“Guillermo?” Came the vampire’s call, muffled from inside the coffin. “Guillermo, are you being a lazy rascal this evening?”
Nothing.
No sound of footfalls in the hall. No sign of Guillermo’s chipper voice telling Nandor to ‘rise and shine’ with a big cheeky smile. Nothing but silence.
Nandor wondered for a moment if everyone had died or been swept away by those witches Nadja was always going on about.
Pushing on the lid of his coffin, Nandor gave a huff and a grunt as he lifted the heavy slab of wood.
“Guillermo,” he bellowed. “Where are you?”
With a final heave, the coffin was open. He sat up, head swiveling as he looked around accusingly, for some reason expecting to find Guillermo crouched in a corner.
Nothing.
“Fucking guy,” the vampire muttered under his breath as he half clambered out of the coffin, his robe getting caught and causing him to fall the rest of the way.
“Shit,” he said from the ground.
If he couldn’t find Guillermo soon, it was going to be a long night.
Nandor had considered the idea of getting dressed by himself for about thirty seconds before deciding that: nope, it just wasn’t for him. He’d simply have to wait until he located Guillermo and gave him a good scolding before he could think about getting out of his nightclothes.
So, with disheveled hair and an already cranky disposition, Nandor set out in search of his familiar -- who was annoyingly choosing to be not-so-familiar at the moment.
He marched down the hallway, ducking in every open door in an attempt to spot the human. When he had no luck in the hall, he barged into the fancy room, where Nadja and Laszlo were already up and reading. Nadja had a magazine perched on her skirts, and Laszlo was preoccupied with, based on the pictures Nandor got a glimpse of, some sort of pornographic volume. Big surprise.
“Has anyone seen Guillermo recently?” Nandor huffed.
“Who?” Laszlo asked, not bothering to look up from his book.
Nandor rolled his eyes. “Guillermo, my familiar. You know, little guy, wears funny little sweaters all the time, does our laundry.”
“Oh,” Laszlo hummed. Then, “No, haven’t the slightest,” and went back to his book.
“I think he means Gizmo, my love,” Nadja offered, looking up from her magazine. Then to Nandor, “No sorry, we haven’t seen him. He’s your responsibility, isn’t he?”
It was a rhetorical question -- Nandor had learned that phrase from Guillermo -- and instead of waiting for an answer she could care less about, Nadja also returned to her reading.
“Fine,” Nandor said. Much help they were. “But if you see him, let him know I demand that he come find me straight away.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Right you are, old chap.”
Nandor groaned quietly to himself, questioning his choice of roommates for the millionth time this week.
Ducking out of the fancy room, Nandor thought about where else he could search for his familiar. Where did Guillermo like to spend his time? Nandor hadn’t the slightest clue.
In the end, it happened to be the last place Nandor looked. The vampire hadn’t thought to check the closet under the stairs. He’d also forgotten that Guillermo had once told him it was his bedroom. Oops.
By the time Nandor found him, the vampire was at his wits end. Who did Guillermo think he was, making a great and powerful vampire search around for him like that? Knocking only once on the door, Nandor let himself in.
“Guillermo, where the hell have you been?” Nandor whined.
“I’ve been searching for you all over the place, haven’t you heard me calling? I had to get out of my coffin all by myself, and I’m not even dressed yet because you… what are you doing, Guillermo?”
Despite Nandor suddenly barging in and railing him with questions, Guillermo, who was still in bed, hadn’t turned to look at him. Actually, Guillermo hadn’t moved at all since Nandor had entered.
“Guillermo? Are you alright?” Nandor asked, his tone drastically different. All anger and annoyance at the familiar had immediately disappeared at the sight of him.
In all the years they had known each other, Nandor couldn’t remember a single time when the familiar had slept in like this. Then again, Nandor hadn’t noticed a lot of things that Guillermo seemed to think he should notice. And while that may be true (it was), Nandor felt that he did know Guillermo. Maybe not everything about him -- maybe not enough, but he did know when something was up, and this was clearly one of those times.
At a loss, Nando sat down gingerly on the bed next to Guillermo’s curled-up form.
“Guillermo? Are you awake?” He asked timidly.
“Mmm,” Came Guillermo’s muffled reply.
Nandor flashed a toothy grin.
“Come on silly, the sun has set and it is time to get up.”
Nandor reached out a hesitant hand, resting it cautiously on Guillermo’s arm and giving the familiar a little shake.
“Come on sleepy head,” he sang.
“Go ‘way.”
Guillermo’s voice came from deep beneath the blankets that were piled on top of him. The familiar’s tone wasn’t one of annoyance, but rather one of immense weariness. So much so that it sent a spike of panic through Nandor’s non-beating heart.
“Guillermo,” he started, an instant seriousness to his voice. “Are you not feeling well? Have you got the cold again?”
“Mmmm, no ,” Guillermo groaned, like it took great effort to get the words out.
“Well then what is wrong?”
Guillermo sighed.
Very slowly, the familiar started to sit up. Nandor didn’t quite know what to do with Guillermo in this state, so he scooted to the other end of the bed and kept one hand hovering near Guillermo’s arm, just in case. Of what , he had no clue.
Now that he was finally sitting up, Nandor got a glimpse of his familiar’s face. The man looked like shit. There were bags under his eyes, and the rest of his face was red and blotchy. Nandor knew that was never a good sign.
“Eehg,” the vampire grimaced. “Guillermo, have you caught the plague?”
A faint chuckle emitted from the familiar’s lips. Nandor noticed that the laugh didn’t reach his eyes like they normally did.
“No, Master, I don’t have the plague.”
“Then what is it? You are starting to really freak me out,” Nandor replied, a grimace still gripping his face.
Guillermo sighed again, looking away.
“I’m sorry. This never should have happened. I should have been more careful, with everything going on here -- I should have known to… well, I just…”
Guillermo looked so close to tears that Nandor wanted to reach out and shake him.
“Hey, it is alright. Just -- tell me what is going on so I can make it stop,” Nandor offered, trying his hardest to be helpful.
Guillermo let out another heavy, bone-tired sigh.
“Would you stop doing that!”
“Sorry. It’s just,” Guillermo looked down at his folded hands. “This is kind of awkward. I… well, I take this medication, you know?”
Nandor nodded.
He did know -- Guillermo had explained it to him on many different occasions. Medication was an elixir that was injected into little seeds that one swallowed, and they cured all sorts of ailments. It was really quite impressive, and he would have liked to try some -- if he were a human, that is.
“Okay, well,” Guillermo continued. “I.. sort of… ran out. Which means my symptoms aren’t being managed, which means--”
Nandor gasped.
“Oh Guillermo,” he whispered. “Are you… dying ?”
Guillermo let out another one of those lifeless chuckles.
“No, Master, I’m not dying. Though it feels like I am,” he muttered.
Nandor didn't say anything, only stared expectantly at the man.
“It’s just… well,” he trailed off for a moment before seeming to make his mind up about something. Continuing with a renewed sense of determination, he said, “It's just, I have depression and it gets pretty bad when I’m not on my meds, so.”
“These meds which you ran out of?” Nandor clarified.
“Mm-yes,” Guillermo nodded.
“And when was this?” Nandor asked.
“Last week,” Guillermo mumbled under his breath.
“I’m sorry?”
“Last week,” the familiar said, louder this time, and with all the defensiveness of a caught child.
Nandor stood up, arms held firmly by his side.
“Guillermo,” he practically shouted. “Why would you not tell me about this? Why would you not get more of these meds so you will not be under this ‘deep resting’ curse?”
This time, Guillermo’s laugh was accusatory, and just a little bit bitter.
“Because,” he started, voice hitching. “Because I didn’t have time. I never have time for anything, I’m always doing something for someone else. So no, I didn’t go and get my medication because I couldn’t find a spare fucking moment to leave the house and get some.”
The words seemed to take all the wind out of him, and Guillermo sunk back against the wall looking more miserable than ever.
“I’m sorry,” the familiar whispered after a moment. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”
Nandor gave a subconscious shake of his head.
“No,” he firmly replied. “This is… my fault. You are my familiar, and that means I should look out for you.”
Guillermo just stared back at him with an expression of weary confusion.
“Do.. do you really mean that?” he asked under his breath. Nandor thought about it for a second.
“Yes,” he finally replied.
Guillermo’s eyes seemed to grow a little less dull, and the familiar gave a small smile -- this time one that lit up his eyes.
“Now,” Nandor said diplomatically. “What is this elixir you need, and where does one acquire it?”
“Uhh…” Guillermo hummed, looking around and then slowly reaching across the bed to his nightstand.
He held the small bottle out for Nandor to take.
“I usually get it refilled at CVS,” the familiar offered.
Nandor nodded solemnly, his face set in serious lines. He felt like a knight about to embark on a quest.
“Very well. You stay here, I will be back.”
Guillermo watched the vampire as he left. Then he sunk back into bed and covered himself with the sheets.
“Does anyone know where I can find a Sea-Vee-Yes?” Nandor asked the room of vampires.
Colin Robinson had joined the others in the fancy room and was scrolling through his intelligent telephone.
“What the devil are you saying, man?” Laszlo asked.
Nandor closed his eyes, stamping an impatient foot on the ground.
“Sea-Vee-Yes,” he said again.
Laszlo raised his eyebrows and shrugged.
“I haven’t the slightest.”
Nandor bit back a groan of frustration and tried not to curse his roommate out. Instead, he turned to a potentially more useful one.
“Colin Robinson?”
The energy vampire had to practically tear his eyes away from his phone.
“Huh?”
This time, Nandor did groan -- though it came out as more of a growl. He didn’t have time for this. He wanted his familiar back.
“Do you know where I can find a bloody Sea-Vee-Yes,” Nandor demanded in a rushed, snippy voice.
“Oh, you mean CVS, like the drugstore? Yeah, I know where to find it. Why? Wait, are you still in your PJs?” The energy vampire eyed him with a smirk.
That’s it, Nandor thought to himself.
“Yes, I am still in my PJs because there is something wrong with Guillermo!” He shouted, and suddenly all eyes were on him.
Even Nadja, who could care less about his daily theatrics, was looking at him with either concern or annoyance (or both -- probably both).
“What’s the trouble, old chap,” Laszlo asked, brows knitted with concern. Nandor sighed.
“Guillermo did not wake me from my slumber this evening. I went to find him and he was laying in bed like a corpse. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he was having a depression because he ran out of the special elixir he takes.”
The explanation seemed to drain the life out of Nandor, who was left looking deflated and rather hopeless.
“But I do not know where this Sea-Vee-Yes--”
“CVS,” Colin interrupted.
“--Is, and I fear that if I cannot find it, Guillermo will never get better and then I will never be able to get dressed.”
“Well,” Laszlo said, staring intently with thought. “That is quite the pickle you and Gizmo find yourselves in.”
“Guillermo,” Nandor corrected.
“Whatever,” Laszlo brushed it off.
“Hey Nandor, I can go and pick up the meds, if you want.” Colin offered.
All three vampires looked at him.
“Really,” Nandor asked, somewhat suspicious.
“Yeah sure,” Colin evenly replied. “I haven’t fed yet today, and a pharmacy is the perfect place to hold up a line.”
Colin rose from the chair, slipping his phone into the pocket of his khakis.
“Thank you, Colin Robinson,” Nandor said as he handed him the bottle.
“Sure thing, pal,” Colin replied, then strode out of the fancy room.
“So,” Nadja began making small talk, sounding rather disinterested in the whole conversation, but having accepted that she wouldn’t be able to read her magazine in peace until it was had.
“Guillermo is having a depression. That is unfortunate for him.”
“Yes,” Nandor replied with a nod, but before he could say anything else, Nadja continued.
“Laszlo my dear,” she said around an airy laugh. “Do you remember that time you fed on that one -- who was it -- the college student?”
“Oh yes,” Laszlo muttered, recollecting the apparent incident. “What was his name, Rob Something-Or-Other?”
“Yes, and we didn’t know he was down in the dumps until after you’d drunk him clean dry.” Nadja began to chortle.
“Ah, yes. I felt like shit for nearly a week after that one.”
“Yes, yes -- it was awful.”
“Awful for you?” Laszlo exclaimed. “Imagine how it was for me. I’ll tell you, I do not envy Gizmo. Not one bit, the poor lad.”
“Guillermo,” Nandor corrected, finally finding himself able to jump into the conversation, which he’d been growing bored of. That is, up until something Laszlo had said.
“So,” Nandor asked, trying (and failing) to be nonchalant about it. “You’ve had this human depression before, Laszlo?”
“Right I have, old chap, and it was the most miserable thing I’ve ever experienced -- other than that one time I got my balls stuck in the--”
“Eee, eee, alright,” Nandor stopped him, grimacing at the very thought of wherever that sentence had been going.
He then asked, “So… what helped you, when that happened?”
Laszlo leaned back against the couch, propping one arm against the cushion and thinking over the question.
“Well,” he began. “I found it nearly impossible to do much of anything. Nadja brought me a couple of virgins to feed off of, though my appetite had greatly diminished, however they seemed to lift my spirits a bit.”
“You know what else lifted your spirits,” Nadja asked, a concerningly naughty twinge in her voice.
“Oh boy,” Nandor muttered.
“When I put you up on that billiard table and rode you like a--”
“Alright enough,” Nandor said with a sweeping gesture. “I got it, I got it, sheesh .”
“So what she’s saying, my friend, is that you should ride Gizmo like the dickens -- maybe it’ll cheer the poor boy up.”
“I don’t think that’s -- No, I don’t think that would help,” Nandor practically choked on his words.
Nadja snorted. Then, turning a bit less teasing, she said,
“Look, what I’m saying is: if something's wrong with Guillermo, then all you need to do is give him what he needs until he doesn’t need it anymore.”
She gave Nandor a look as if to say, ‘see, it’s simple -- now shut up about it’ and then returned to her reading.
“Right. Give him what he needs. Got it…. Should be easy enough.” Nandor mumbled as he wandered towards Guillermo’s room.
“Just… give him what he needs.”
He took a deep breath and rapped gently on Guillermo’s door.
“Knock, knock. Guillermo? May I come in please?" Nandor sang.
“Mmm,” came a groan of reply, which Nandor took as a ‘yes’.
Carefully opening the door, he peeked in before entering, suddenly feeling that, if he moved too fast, Guillermo might turn into dust.
“How are you feeling?” The vampire asked.
“Like shit,” Guillermo grumbled from beneath his fort of blankets.
“O-kay,” Nandor replied, his happy tone slightly deflating. He really had no earthly -- or unearthly, for that matter -- idea of what to do to make things better.
Just give him what he needs.
The phrase echoed through his mind.
Right. Well…
“Do you need anything? Can I... get you something?” Nandor asked, determined to at least try.
He saw the sheets move as the familiar took a deep breath. Then he rolled over, peeling away several layers of fabric until his face was visible in the dim light.
“I don’t know, Master,” Guillermo softly replied, sounding exhausted, though Nandor didn’t know how that was possible; the guy had slept for like, a whole hour after all.
“Well… what do humans typically need?” Nandor wondered aloud.
Guillermo lay there very unhelpfully.
Then Nandor’s eyes brightened with an idea.
“Aha! I’ve got it,” he exclaimed with a proud smile. “Humans eat, right? So… would you like me to get you something to eat?”
Nandor was reeling with excitement at having thought of something at last.
Guillermo seemed to chew on the idea.
“Alright,” the familiar eventually agreed. “I guess it’s been a while, anyway, so food would probably be good.”
“Yes!” Nandor celebrated. “Very good, Guillermo. Then I shall bring you a meal worthy of a king. Or, you know, myself.”
Guillermo smiled faintly up at the vampire, then seemed to realize something with a concerned twitch of his eyebrows. Ignoring this, Nandor spun around and headed for the door.
“Master, I hope you’re not planning on bringing me a virgin--” Guillermo called out after him, who was already halfway down the hall by then.
Human food… human food, where to find it, Nandor thought to himself as he wandered aimlessly through the house.
Nothing.
If I was a meal, where would I be?
Actually, now that he thought of it, Nandor wasn’t entirely sure they even had human food in the house. Guillermo had always worried about that since he was the only one who even needed to.
“Shit,” Nandor muttered as he raced back towards the fancy room.
“Laszlo!” He shouted from the hall. “Laszlo!!”
“What the hell do you want, man?” Called Laszlo’s peeved voice.
The other vampire came stumbling out of the fancy room and into the foyer, where Nandor nearly plowed him over.
“Ah, Laszlo, just the vampire I was looking for,” Nandor exclaimed, pleased.
“No shit?” replied a very annoyed Laszlo.
“Do you know where I can acquire some human food?” Nandor asked carefully, annunciating each word so there was no possibility of confusion. Laszlo just looked at him.
“How the fuck should I know?” he asked barkingly.
Nandor’s face fell, and he fidgeted with his clasped hands.
“Well… I don’t, so I just assumed you did. You’re the one who’s always making friends with humans…” Nandor said defensively.
Suddenly Laszlo tilted his chin up, a glint illuminating his eyes.
“Hold on a minute, I think I’ve got an idea.”
“Seanie!” Laszlo gave a jovial hollar when his friend opened the door.
Laz, my man,” Sean replied, clapping him on the back. “What’s up?”
Laszlo looked the human up and down. The man was in a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, presumably his eveningwear. It was nearly half-past ten, after all.
“Sean, so sorry to bother you at this hour--”
“Pshh, no,” Sean waved his apology away. “Don’t even worry about it, my guy. Anytime you need me, you just come on over and get me.”
“Yes, well, thank you,” Laszlo replied a little awkwardly. Despite the fact that one of his best friends was a human, human customs were still completely lost to the vampire.
“Anyway,” Laszlo continued. “I was wondering if I could acquire some… food from you?” He had been about to say ‘some normal human food’ but realized that then he would sound like a fucking idiot.
“Oh, yeah man,” Sean easily replied, gesturing for him to come inside the house. “Charmaine just made some lasagna, we got loads of leftovers.”
Laszlo remained outside the house, fidgeting slightly.
“What’s a matter, your old lady not feedin’ you?” Sean jousted laughingly. “Come on in,” he reiterated, and Laszlo stepped into the house with a sigh.
“Ah, ha,” the vampire gave a stale laugh at the man's attempted joke, though Sean didn’t even seem to notice.
“Hang out here, I’ll be just a sec,” he instructed before disappearing out of sight.
Laszlo hovered until he returned, carrying with him a small, see-through chest of some sort.
“Here you are, pal. And no rush on getting the tupperware back -- just at least sometime this year, or the wife will have my ass, haha.”
“Sure thing Sean,” Laszlo replied, shooting the man a slightly concerned glance. What the devil was a tupperware?
“I’ve got it,” Laszlo shouted as he entered the Vampire Residence.
Nandor came barreling out of… somewhere and suddenly appeared to grab the dish from Laszlo’s hands.
“Very good, Laszlo!” He exclaimed, a pleased grin on his face. Laszlo cocked his head proudly.
“Ah well,” he waved away the praise while secretly relishing it. “It’s something called Lags… Lezenna? Lumzata… -- fuck it,” Laszlo shrugged, then wandered off.
Grasping the tupperware container as if it contained the most precious of treasures, Nandor snuck to Guillermo’s room.
“Knock, knock, it is me again,” he said as he let himself in. “I have brought you exactly what you need to make you feel better.”
Guillermo sluggishly sat up, glancing at Nandor through foggy eyes.
Nandor held up the container.
“I have brought you Letzata!” he exclaimed, giddy with excitement.
“Let-- you mean Lasagna ?” Guillermo asked, smirking slightly.
“Uh, yes?” He had no idea, but it sounded right enough.
Guillermo nodded in vague approval, gently taking the container and examining it.
“Thank you, Master,” the familiar replied.
Nandor felt something sink inside his chest. This wasn’t the Guillermo he knew. The Guillermo he knew was always so… bubbly -- eccentric, really. Nandor worried his lip as he thought about all the times he had gotten annoyed at that Guillermo. The one who was always smiling, ready to do anything for anyone who needed it -- who cracked the best jokes, even when no one acknowledged them.
Now, Nandor would have done almost anything to get that Guillermo back. A wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows as he wondered if it had been him that had caused Guillermo to feel so shitty.
As if he was stuck in slow motion, Nandor softly lowered himself onto the bed next to his familiar. Normally if they were to ever sit this close, Nandor would have made a comment about it and forced Guillermo to move. But now…
Nandor cleared his throat. Guillermo, who had been exchanging an empty stare with the Let-- La-sagna, looked up at him as if realizing for the first time that he was there at all.
“Yes Master?”
Nandor thought he detected a sort of urgency in the man’s voice. It made him feel sad -- a feeling he did not like very much.
“Uh…” the vampire hesitated.
Give him what he needs, came that voice again.
Shifting his weight, propping one leg onto the bed, Nandor turned so he could face Guillermo. He looked intently into the familiar’s eyes.
“Guillermo,” he began, sounding more sure than he felt. “I have a feeling that I am somehow to blame for your current predicament…”
To his surprise, Guillermo laughed. It was sadder than usual, but it was undeniably a laugh.
“Nan-- Master … you can’t cause someone to have depression,” Guillermo explained, sounding a bit more like his old self.
Nandor gazed into his familiar’s eyes for a moment before feeling compelled to sheepishly look away, feeling ridiculous and guilty. Not a pleasant combination of emotions.
“Even so, I feel as if at the very least I should have noticed something was wrong. You are my familiar… I should know what’s going on with you.”
He said it like he was trying to convince both Guillermo and himself.
Guillermo looked at Nandor then -- really looked at him, the glaze over his eyes clearing enough that Nandor could see it was really Guillermo who was in front of him.
“Well…” Guillermo whispered, a husky quality to his voice that hadn't been there before.
“That’s probably true. It’s not entirely your fault though… I tend to hide my feelings. I guess I always have…”
Nandor sensed that this conversation was getting a little personal. Usually, he liked to discourage these types of conversations before they happened in the first place, but this time, something stopped him. It was probably the little pebble of fear that had lodged itself inside his chest ever since he'd seen Guillermo. Ever since he he'd seen the way that the familiar was so different. Nandor could sit through a little bit of personal conversation if it meant that Guillermo would come back to him.
“But anyway,” the familiar continued. “I guess it’s just that… well, you probably don’t want to hear me--”
“No, please,” Nandor interrupted, holding out a hand. “Go on.”
He offered the human a small smile and tried to urge him on with his eyes, which Guillermo stared intensely at for a good three seconds before opening his mouth again.
“Okay,” he breathed, voice wobbling slightly. “It’s just… I feel like no one really cares how I am. And I mean, I don’t expect you guys to be like, whatever -- but it would at least be nice if… I don’t know, someone checked in every once in a while. If maybe someone asked me how I was and actually cared enough to listen to my answer…”
Guillermo looked down at his hands. He was wringing his fingers together nervously, absentmindedly picking at his nails. If he wasn’t careful, he might start to bleed…
Nandor reached out. He stopped halfway, his hand hovering in space. Then he closed the distance. He covered Guillermo’s hands with one of his own, feeling the smooth, warm skin there. Nandor felt every point of connection, and the feeling of Guillermo filled every single pore of his fingertips.
Guillermo’s hands stopped moving. The hand that covered them was ice cold, but it was soft and unbelievably gentle. He could feel where the thumb brushed his palm, running lightly over the skin before falling still. That hand -- Nandor’s hand -- was so big, it easily enveloped both of his.
All he could do was stare down at his lap, where their hands met. Nandor, however, couldn’t tear his eyes away from the familiar’s face. With his head slightly bent, he looked up at Guillermo through thick, black lashes. He could feel the man’s pulse beating through his palm, and the rhythmic pounding made him feel lightheaded. It was almost like being alive again.
“I’m sorry, Guillermo,” was all Nandor could think to say.
Quite frankly, he was lost. He had been undead for so long, he couldn’t remember what it was like to be human. He couldn’t remember the things a human needed.
The truth was, Nandor had been undead for so long that he’d grown to consider himself incapable of being human at all.
And that’s how he’d lived for so long -- as a monster in the shadows, a creature of the night, and the only humans he’d ever been around were the ones that he’d fed on.
But Guillermo…
Guillermo was different.
Guillermo changed things.
He awakened things inside Nandor that had been buried for so long, nearly forgotten in the rubble of his old life. Things that made him uncomfortable and happy and…
Guillermo made Nandor feel human.
He had tried to shove that feeling off of him for nearly a decade, yet it kept coming back. So, when confronted with Guillermo’s very human feelings, that was all Nandor could find, when he searched inside his head for an answer.
“I’m sorry.”
But Guillermo, the beautiful, messy, confusing human that he was, shrugged off the apology, though Nandor could tell it had prompted a change in his demeanor.
“Ah, it’s -- it’s okay. It’s… you know, fine…”
Nandor got the idea that Guillermo was waiting for him to say something, so he did.
“No, it is not okay. It is very far from okay. But I will try to do better.” His voice hitched with pride at his ability to resolve the situation.
“I can’t be dressing myself every evening because you’re bumming it out inside this closet, now can I?” He added with a mischievous smirk.
Guillermo snorted, and such a sound had never brought Nandor more joy.
He could feel some of the warmth returning to the human -- his human -- and it put him at ease. Guillermo was still in there, under all those layers of sadness, and Nandor was glad to be seeing him again.
With a sudden jolt, Nandor realized that his hand was still covering Guillermos’. At the same time, the familiar realized it, too. If it was physically possible for him to do so, Nandor would have blushed. Guillermo, on the other hand, was perfectly capable of blushing, and did so furiously.
Nandor gave Guillermo’s hands an awkward pat and then withdrew his own hand, laying it in his lap. By its own volition, it curled itself into a fist, like it was trying to hold onto the warmth that had come from Guillermo’s touch. The vampire could feel the heat lingering on his skin for just a moment, but it was gone too soon. His fingers turned cold again, and almost immediately he found himself longing for the warmth once more.
Nandor cleared his throat. These icky human emotions were getting the best of him, but no longer!
“Now,” he instructed very seriously. “It is time for you to eat your Lan-- what is it?”
“Lasagna,” Guillermo provided.
“Yes, eat your Lasagna so you can get that obnoxious supply of energy flowing again.”
Guillermo gave Nandor a playful scowl, then looked down at the tupperware container.
“Um, Master?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t have a fork. And also, it’s cold…”
Nandor leaned over and looked at the nasty pile of red mush, barely able to hold back a gag.
“So?” he replied, not understanding the point.
“Well, you don’t like to eat your meals cold, do you?”
“Fair enough,” the vampire agreed.
After some discussion, in which Guillermo quickly realized that Nandor had no idea how reheating food worked, the two decided they would make their way into the fancy room to heat up the lasagna.
Guillermo slowly got up, feeling his stiff muscles stretching, and Nandor watched, hovering off to the side as if he still wasn’t certain that the familiar wouldn’t break into a million pieces. Guillermo was frankly too exhausted to care. The two headed out into the hallway to make the small trek from Guillermo’s bedroom to the fancy room.
But before they were able to enter, Nandor stopped abruptly in the doorway, causing Guillermo to run smack into him, nearly splattering spaghetti sauce all over the back of the vampire’s coat.
Nandor spun half around and said, “Wait here just a moment, will you Guillermo?” Before slipping inside and slamming the door shut in Guillermo’s face.
Inside, Nandor clapped to get Nadja and Laszlo’s attention. They were no longer reading but were now perched on the couch, practically in each other’s laps, scrolling through one of Colin Robinson’s computers.
When he entered, the two looked up at Nandor, one with an annoyed expression, the other with a disinterested one.
“Nadja, Laszlo,” Nandor began with an air of formality that had both of the other vampires already peeved.
“Guillermo is about to enter this room to heat up his… whatever-it’s-called. I want both of you to be very nice to him because he is acting strange, and I want him to go back to normal.”
“When are we ever mean to Gizmo?” Laszlo defended.
Nadja said, “Why should we care about a human acting strange? Isn’t that like… what they do?”
Nandor stamped his foot on the ground, thinking about how, back when he was a ruler, no one would have dared question his requests like this.
“Because,” he insisted. “Guillermo is not just any human, he is my familiar, so you should care.”
Neither looked convinced.
“And he is the one who does our laundry, which he can’t do if he is depressed,” Nandor rushedly added.
He looked at the couple expectantly, and they got the idea that he wasn’t going to leave them alone until he received some sort of confirmation.
Nadja rolled her eyes and groaned.
“Fine,” she caved.
Laszlo just raised his eyebrows and shrugged.
“Good,” Nandor replied, satisfied at last. Then, calling out to the hallway,
“Oh Guillermo! Won’t you come in?”
The door opened with a hesitant click, and the human peeked his head in.
“Can I -- you want me to --”
“Yes, come in,” Nandor said, sweeping aside and gesturing for Guillermo to enter.
The familiar stepped around the door, pushing it closed behind him, and flashed the room a weary smile.
“Guillermo,” Nadja nodded. “And… how are you feeling today?” She asked, her voice raising an octave.
“Um, f-fine, I guess. Thanks.”
The vampire smiled painfully, and then looked away. If Nandor was bad at human shit, Nadja was the pinnacle of incapability.
Laszlo, on the other hand, was far too good at being bad, and had absolutely no remorse in doing so.
“Well well well,” the vampire teasingly leered. “I see Nandor’s begun to spoon feed you, which I’m sure will only add to your attitude of laziness and habit of dicking about.”
Uncharacteristically, the usually witty Guillermo just stared back at Laszlo, giving half a shrug before turning away to start a fire.
Nandor sent Laszlo what he hoped was a chastising glare. And to his surprise, the vampire’s expression turned to a mixture of concern and guilt.
“Fucking hell,” Laszlo blurted, looking between Nandor and Nadja. “What the devil’s wrong with him?”
“Nandor literally just fucking told you, you big stupid oaf,” Nadja hissed. Laszlo shook his head.
“Sorry,” he defensively replied, his tone full of gibe.
“Do you want to maybe say you’re sorry to Guillermo,” Nandor retorted.
Laszlo looked to Nadja, who was staring back with the same expectant expression Nandor wore. The guilty vampire huffed.
“Fine, fuck this anyway,” he mumbled. Then loudly to Guillermo, “I say, good man? I heartily apologize for my previous comment. It was… highly inappropriate?” Laszlo pulled a face, at a loss, but the others urged him on.
“A-And very rude. And I didn’t mean it, so.”
Nandor nodded, flashing a pleased smile, and Nadja rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to the computer now that all the drama had been resolved.
Guillermo turned around almost absentmindedly.
“Oh… uh, it’s okay, Laszlo. Don’t worry about it.”
The familiar promptly returned to his task of reheating the human food, which was starting to cause quite a stink.
Laszlo held up a hand and shot Nandor a look.
“Did you see that?” he whispered. “I poured my heart out to that fellow and he couldn’t even say thank you.”
“Oh piss off, Laszlo,” Nadja groaned, annoyed that this conversation was somehow still going.
Nandor’s eyebrows furrowed.
“I told you, Laszlo, he is having a hard time. Have some sympathy, why don’t you.”
Laszlo shot an exasperated look up at the ceiling. But when he looked back down, his expression had turned into one of genuine sympathy -- and he had the air of a man who had made up his mind.
“Guillermo,” he called to the familiar.
You could’ve heard a pin drop in the fancy room. Laszlo had never called Guillermo by his actual name before. Nadja looked up from the computer, eyeing her husband warily, while Nandor looked worriedly between the vampire and the familiar.
Guillermo, still by the now growing fire, whipped around and looked at Laszlo like the man had sprouted three more heads, or had just announced that he was dying.
Ignoring the vampires and looking straight at Guillermo, Laszlo continued.
“I’m truly sorry you’re having a hard time of it. I myself have fallen victim to one or two… or three vampire depressions in my day, and while regular human depressions are much less traumatic than our very intense vampiric ones… I understand a bit of what you might be feeling.”
Everyone stared wide-eyed at Laszlo.
Nadja was the first to break the ice.
“It is true, he can be a real party poop when he gets in that sort of headspace.”
“It’s true indeed,” Laszlo solemnly replied, not missing a beat. Nadja shifted, turning to look at Guillermo.
“But really, we are sorry you’re feeling this way, Guillermo.”
The familiar -- who, they were realizing, was so much more than just a familiar -- looked between the three vampires who he felt honored to call his friends. Or -- at the very least, companions. Which was good enough for him.
He couldn’t stop the tears from filling his eyes, rolling silently down his cheeks.
“Wow, I… I don’t even know what to say. Thank you, guys.”
“Beh,” Laszlo waved him away.
“Yes. Well, now that that’s over, can we get back to…” Nadja gestured to the computer. “We are trying to order some new curtains for the library.”
Guillermo laughed at the predictable nature of the two vampires. But yet, in so many ways he would never understand them. Never be able to fathom the amount of kindness they both carried inside their cold, dead hearts -- even if it was usually paired with self-centered childishness.
Nandor, seeing his familiar -- his friend -- laugh, couldn’t help but smile a wide, fang-filled grin. Noticing, Guillermo smiled back.
“Thank you, Master,” he whispered softly.
“Of course, Guillermo. Anything for my favorite familiar.”
Guillermo’s eyes brightened.
“Am I really your favorite familiar?”
“Well, you know. You're technically my only familiar,” Nandor dodged the question, brushing it off.
“Now, eat you lang -- lep -- fucking guy, what is that shit called?”
“La-sa-gna,” Guillermo sounded out.
“Eat your ‘la-sang-ya.' It is really stinking up the place.”
Nadja and Laszlo looked up and nodded fervently. Guillermo rolled his eyes, but the smile had not left his lips.
“Alright, alright. I never make such a big stink about all the dead bodies you leave around, not to mention all the blood.”
“What did he just say,” Laszlo asked feistily, pointing an accusatory finger at the human.
“Ay, Guillermo, watch your tongue” Nandor added disapprovingly.
“I was just joking,” Guillermo offered.
“Well, I did not understand the joke, but never mind that. We will ignore it since you are not yourself today.”
“O-kay,” Guillermo said, wondering yet again how he had gotten all wrapped up with these nincompoops. You’d think eternal life would make people a bit more self-aware.
But regardless, they were his unaware nincompoops, and he loved them despite all of their weird, and often unsettling, flaws.
Guillermo ate the lasagna with fervor, only just now realizing how hungry he had become. Nandor watched him with a mixture of relief and disgust.
Once he was finished, Guillermo decided that, for the vampires’ sake, he would take the dirty tupperware back to his room. On the way out, Guillermo realized something.
“Wait, where did you guys get this, anyway?”
Nandor looked up at him, taken off guard by the question.
“Oh, eh… I got it from our neighbor Sean.”
“ I got it, you bastard,” Laszlo interrupted. “You’re welcome, by the way,” he said to Guillermo.
“Thank you, Laszlo,” Guillermo replied as genuinely as he could, offering the vampire a smile.
“Mm.” Laszlo huffed, though he was clearly satisfied.
After dropping the dish in his room, Guillermo made his way back to the fancy room where all the others were. He realized that, for the first time in days, he was starting to feel better. He didn’t feel good -- there was still that feeling of inky blackness that seemed to be sinking his body into the abyss -- but he didn’t feel as bad as he had a few days, or even a few hours ago.
The kind, or semi -kind words of the vampires had definitely helped. He knew in his heart that they cared about him, but they admittedly made it very hard to actually believe it sometimes. He knew that was just their way, and he knew that, as a human, he couldn’t understand what eternal life did to a person. But still, dealing with their shit could really get to him.
The change of pace had been nice. Nandor, especially…
The vampire had really looked after him. He’d shown Guillermo a kind of loving attention that the familiar hadn’t experienced in a long time. It felt so good that Guillermo dreaded things going back to the way they usually were, with the vampires hardly giving him a second glance, unless they needed him to do their chores or take care of their dirty work.
With these thoughts on his mind, Guillermo crept into the fancy room, more hesitantly than what felt rational.
Nandor was staring off into space, and Nadja and Laszlo were still scrolling through the computer, muttering to each other about curtain patterns and where the cursor had gotten off to.
Guillermo walked slowly across the room, sitting as close to his Master as he could. He had something he wanted to say, and the chance was now or never. With perfect timing, Nandor glanced over at Guillermo the moment he sat down, almost as if the vampire was expecting him to say something. Guillermo looked longingly into his eyes.
“Master, I--” His voice was cut off suddenly.
“Hello,” Colin Robinson sang in his usual monotone voice. “I’m back."
Perfect timing my ass, Guillermo thought to himself, squeezing his eyes shut in annoyance.
“Hello Colin Robinson,” Nandor chirped, sounding much too excited, considering the person he was greeting. “Did you have a nice evening?” The vampire asked, his tone strangely intentional.
“Uh, yeah,” Colin replied, shooting Nandor a look. “Held up the line at CVS for nearly an hour, drained those folks dry as a desert. Boy let me tell ya, I am stuffed.”
Nandor fidgeted in his seat.
“That is great, Colin Robinson, but do you have the… thing,” He muttered secretively, as if Guillermo wasn’t right next to him.
“Oh! Yeah,” Colin said, suddenly remembering. The energy vampire reached into the pocket of his khakis and pulled out a rattling bottle of pills.
“Typically they wouldn’t just hand out a prescription to someone whose name isn’t on the label, but I have my ways -- those ways being, uh, draining people until they bend to my will,” He said with a lighthearted chuckle.
Nandor grimaced at him before snatching the bottle from his hands.
“Thank you very much.”
Then, turning toward Guillermo, he presented the bottle as if it was a precious weapon or a secret scroll.
“Guillermo, your elixir. I hope it helps you feel more like your funny little self.”
Guillermo, not really knowing how to respond to that, simply took the bottle gratefully.
“Thanks, Master. Oh, and uh -- Colin Robinson, as well.”
Nandor nodded reverently.
“No problemo,” Colin replied, shooting Guillermo a finger gun before turning back towards the door. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go take a nap.”
Colin left without further adieu, and the room fell silent again.
Guillermo looked down at the bottle of pills with some relief. He still couldn’t believe that he’d forgotten to get his prescription refilled. But then again, when you had a whole house of vampires to take care of, it made sense for your own existence to get put on the wayside. Still, he was determined to not let this happen again. Getting up from his seat, he softly excused himself and then began making his way to his room in search of a drink to take his medicine with. He only made it about halfway before he realized that someone was following him.
He turned around and unsurprisingly found Nandor, looking like a child caught red-handed.
“I just,” the vampire awkwardly started. “You… you were going to say something, before Colin Robinson barged in… what was it?”
The vampire -- Nandor the Relentless, for goodness sake -- sounded so sheepish that Guillermo nearly choked on a laugh.
But then, remembering what he had been trying to say earlier, he grew solemn again, suddenly feeling just as timid as Nandor looked.
“Oh, uh… it was nothing Master,” He began, losing his courage.
But Nandor didn't let him finish the excuse.
“It did not seem like nothing, Guillermo. And remember, I said I was going to do better, so… let me do better.”
Guillermo stared open-mouthed at his Master. Then, taking a deep breath, he looked away.
“Well… I was just going to say that… the way that you -- you guys -- have been treating me today has been… really nice. I was just thinking… that I don’t want things to go back to the way they were. I mean I do, I want to feel like myself again, but… I don’t know. I just really liked being treated with, y’know, kindness for once.”
Guillermo felt out of breath, like he had just run a marathon. Nandor was staring at him, and he finally returned the look. Holding his chin up defiantly, he prepared himself to be chastised or made fun of.
But Nandor, too, looked like he had run a marathon. The vampire looked as if the metaphorical rug had been swept out from underneath his boots.
To Guillermo's shock, he also looked ashamed.
His eyes flickered downward, and he stared at his fidgeting hands.
“I know,” he began in a hushed voice. “That we are not always the most… pleasant group of vampires to be around.”
“Well, better than the ones that would eat me,” Guillermo chimed in, feeling the need to at least try and put his Master at ease. But the vampire hardly acknowledged the comment, which caused a spike of peculiar nervousness to shoot through his body when Nandor closed the distance between them.
He stepped up to Guillermo, hovering so close that he could smell the earthy scent of his hair. Guillermo’s breath wavered as he looked up at Nandor.
“But know this, Guillermo de la Cruz,” his voice was uncharacteristically serious, and even more so, gentle. The tones of it brushed along Guillermo’s skin, curling up to rake along his hair.
“You… We... “ Nandor took a quick breath, blowing a puff of air out of his nose and trying again.
“You are important to us,” he finally said. “We don’t always show it, but it’s true. You are… a valued member of this group and I… I…”
Say it, Guillermo thought.
Say it, Nandor told himself.
“I am honored to have you as my familiar. I want you to always know that. Never forget it.”
The intensity of his voice brought tears to Guillermo’s eyes for the second time that night.
Close enough, they both decided.
It was eight o’clock in the p.m., and Guillermo’s chipper voice stirred Nandor from inside his coffin.
“Good morning, Guillermo,” came his muffled voice. Guillermo smiled to himself as he opened up the lid.
“Good morning, Master,” he replied, holding out his hand.
Nandor took it, and the familiar helped his Master out of the coffin. Once safely on the floor, Guillermo began to prepare Nandor’s clothes for the night, which he had helped the vampire pick out the day before.
“How are you feeling today, Guillermo?” Nandor asked while waiting primly for the familiar to help him dress.
Guillermo turned around, tunic in hand, and looked at his Master -- Nandor… his friend.
“I’m feeling pretty good today. Thank you for asking.”
Nandor smiled, his fangs gleaming in the candlelight.
“That is good,” he replied contently.
“And how are you feeling today, Master?” Guillermo asked.
Nandor considered it.
“I am feeling… happy,” he decided with a nod.
Guillermo smiled wide.
“That’s good,” he warmly replied.
“Now let’s not take all night,” Nandor spoke up, sounding much more like his usual ridiculous self. “After all, we have things to do.”
But Nandor truly was feeling happy, because his familiar… his Guillermo was back to his usual messy, confusing, beautiful self. Guillermo was feeling ‘pretty good’, and for Nandor, well…
That was good enough for him.