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Dean stared at the ceiling. It stared back at him. He should really scrap off that popcorn texture, but if he did it to one room he would have to do it to the other rooms, so he left it.
He glanced at the clock. It finally read three am. Dean had already been awake for an hour, but he figured he should at least wait until three to get up. For some reason three seemed to be a more acceptable time to get up than at two.
Dean began to wiggle out of his sleeping husband of six months’ koala hold. Cas’ face scrunched in annoyance and a whimper escaped him.
“Where you goin’?” Cas grumbled out, eyes still closed.
“I can’t sleep, I’m going to go make breakfast.” Dean said gently, rolling out of the death grip. “Go back to sleep, huggy bear.”
“I’ll help.” Even as the words left the half asleep lump, there was no movement to fully wake up.
“It’s too early.” Dean pulled a sweatshirt over his head and placed a kiss to Cas’ temple. “Sleep. I’m okay, just nervous.”
“Do great, love you.” Cas grumbled before he seemed to lax back into sleep.
“Love you, too.”
Dean quietly padded down stairs to the kitchen. The house was quiet save for a few occasional creaks.
He started up the coffee pot more out of habit than anything. Even though it was too early for even the earliest bird, Dean felt awake and alive. Nervousness tended to do that to him.
Dean fell into a quiet and soothing rhythm of mixing up the dry ingredients for a large batch of pancakes. He sipped his coffee and whisked the flour and sugar together.
As he began cracking his eggs, Sam entered the kitchen sheepishly. Dean just smiled, poured his brother a cup of coffee, and set him to work cracking eggs for the scrambled eggs.
“It’s going to be fine.” Sam said, seemingly more to himself than to Dean.
“Yeah.” Dean nodded into the pancake mix.
Sam poked at Dean’s ribs causing him to jerk and look at his brother. An excited smile was on Sam’s face and Dean couldn’t help but return it. Yeah, it was going to be fine.
By the time Emma came bounding down the stairs, the brothers had made scrambled eggs, bacon, and a large stack of chocolate chip pancakes. Her eyes got the size of the plate she piled high with food.
It hit Dean hard sometimes how he was able to provide a big meal for his family without having to worry about it. He didn’t have to make a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter last two weeks. Sometimes Cas still caught him freaking out about the price mark up of milk or when a container of left overs went bad.
Dean was getting better though. He was developing actual healthy eating habits. The hunter no longer stuffed his face with as much food as he could whenever it was around. With his new lifestyle, it was almost always around, and if it wasn’t he could just go get it with the money he had earned honestly.
As his daughter ate two pancakes, drizzled with syrup, eggs, and bacon, Dean couldn’t help but feel pride in his chest. He was giving his daughter a world where she won’t ever have to do what he did.
Shaking those too deep thoughts aside, Dean got a plate for himself and another cup of coffee. He wasn’t sure if the caffeine was going to help his anxiety or make it worse, but he was about to find out.
After breakfast Sam and Dean left in the impala. Emma had been reading while she waited for Cas to get up and take her to school. It was still too early for Cas to be up. Emma had woken up earlier from the smell of food downstairs.
Before leaving, Dean had kissed Cas’ cheek and told him he would see his husband later. He had gotten a grumpy mumble for his efforts.
The brothers arrived at the shop an hour before it was supposed to open. Most of the employees were already clocked in. There wasn’t much to do but put the new sign up.
It had been Jerry who had suggested they change the name. The old man had said it would help him moved on, and that Sam and Dean should feel like it was their’s. Jerry said he didn’t want it to feel as if his ghost was hovering over their shoulders.
None of the employees had a problem with it so Dean and Bobby had built a sign out of some sturdy scrap wood and spelt out “Winchester Brother’s Auto-repair” in metal they had taken from the cars in the salvage yard. There was a space for “And Restoration” that was to be added in a year if all went well.
The first customer to come in was an elderly woman in need of an oil change. Dean tried his damn hardest not to hover over Leo’s shoulder as the job was done. Leo was more than capable; Dean had trained the kid himself.
Dean did manage to drag himself away from scrutinizing a routine oil change. He went into the office where Sam was doing inventory calculations and whatnot.
Jerry’s old office had been expanded a little by taking a wall down and pushing into an unused closet. It was still a little snug with two desks in there, but it was not as if the brothers were unused to tight quarters.
Sam glanced up as Dean took a seat at his own desk. “Here, take a look at this?”
Dean took the paper from Sam. His brother always knew how to distract him.
A few hours of productive distraction passed. Dean had gone out and checked on the floor every hour or so. Everything was running smoothly. The tangle of anxiety in his chest finally began to loosen.
“What’s a man gotta do you get some decent help around here?”
Dean’s head snapped up to see Bobby smirking fondly from the doorway. Across the room Sam smiled.
“Hey, Bobby. What’re ya doing here? You can handle your own car maintenance.” Sam said, leaning back in his chair and stretching.
“Had to come down and make sure you two idjits weren’t causing any fires just yet.” Bobby looked around the office. “Shwanky office you two got.”
“Dean did it in a weekend.” San smiled proudly making Dean scoff.
“Could have been a carpenter, boy.”
“Nah,” Dean shook his head and smiled. “This is good for me. Who you got working on your hunk of junk?”
“Uh, Macy, Sarah Willis’ kid.”
“It’s her first day, but the kid’s got a knack for mechanics.” Dean stood and glanced out the window at the floor. “You’re in good hands.”
“There wasn’t any doubt.”
Daniel from the front desk knocked on the door frame behind Bobby, graying hair hidden underneath a backwards baseball hat. He was about ten or so years older than Dean, and had worked with Jerry for fifteen years before.
“Hey Chief, the computer’s frozen again.” It was a running joke that all the workers called Sam Chief. Dean wasn’t sure where it started, but he was glad his brother was fitting in with the others.
“Did you try turning it off and turning it back on?” Sam asked as he stood.
“Yeah, nothing.”
“Alright.” Sam patted Dean’s shoulder as he followed Daniel out of the office.
“How you holding up?” Bobby asked after Sam had left the room.
Dean sighed. “Still a little nervous, but it’s not too bad now.”
“Good, you’re doing real good work.” Bobby patted Dean’s shoulder.
The intense fatherly look in the old man’s eye made Dean have to clear his throat of emotion and let out a uncomfortable chuckle.
“You know you don’t get a friend and family discount, right?” Dean lied.
“Don’t even try with me, boy. With all the shit you both have put me through, I think I deserve a free oil change.”
Dean laughed.
“Did I hear someone getting a free oil change?” A voice came from the office doorway. There stood Ellen Harvel, with an all knowing smile on her face. “‘Cause if this old cooke is-“
“You’re not much younger than me!” Bobby barked in mock defense.
“Anyway.” Ellen rolled her eyes at Bobby before winking at Dean with a smile. “Jo and I brought pies for everybody. She and Sam are putting them in the break room.”
“Ellen, anybody ever tell you you’re an angel?” Dean smiled and began his way down towards the break room. It had been a stressful day; he deserved some damn pie.
As Dean entered the break room Jo smiled brightly before nudging Sam. “Told you he’d be here less than two minutes.”
“Damn, I thought I’d be closer to three.” Sam swore and handed Jo a five dollar bill.
They ate some pie, laughing and talking. The other works floated in and out to help themselves to the dozen pies Jo and Ellen had brought.
Halfway through his third piece a familiar rumbling voice came into the room. Dean smiled as Cas walked over to him. The trench coat flapped behind him.
“I was going to buy pie, but the store was out. I’m glad someone else was able to pull through.” Cas smiled and placed a kiss to Dean’s cheek.
“Ellen and Jo brought them.” Dean said.
“They look delicious.” Cas began serving himself a slice of cherry pie.
“You-“ Whatever Bobby was about to say was cut off by Oliver coming into the break room. The twenty five year old man was looking scared.
“Bossmans, there’s a man out here who wants to talk with ya both.” Oliver jabbed his thumb to where the front desk was.
“Okay.” Dean said hesitantly and placed his plate down. He brushed his jeans off before sending his husband a close lipped smile and following Oliver out the door. Sam was close behind.
“You two the new owners?” The man was old with liver spots on his face and stained teeth.
“Yes sir, can we help you?” Dean asked, plastering on his people pleasing smile.
“Yeah, you can tell me where the hell Jerry is.” The man sneered.
“Jerry retired.” Sam explained. “He’s in Florida celebrating with his wife, but I think he’ll be back in a month or so.”
“So the man just quits his job and leaves it to two idiots who don’t know an alternator from a spark plug?”
“Hey now.” Dean put his hands up, trying to keep the man from making a scene. “I’m Dean Winchester and this is my brother Sam. I’ve been working with Jerry for the last almost eight years. We’re both more than capable of running Jerry’s old place. Do you have an issue with you car we could help you with?”
“I’ve seen you lot around town.” The man sniffed. “I don’t need no fag looking at my car.”
Dean’s brain stopped working. He froze. Oxygen seized in his lungs. Static flooded his ears. He couldn’t hear. He couldn’t see. All he seemed to do was stand there.
He was vaguely aware of yelling. Who was yelling he wasn’t sure. Then hands were on Dean’s shoulders and he was being gently led somewhere.
He felt as if he was underwater. Dean couldn’t breath. He couldn’t- he couldn’t-
“-ean?” A voice was reaching the outskirts of Dean’s awareness. “Dean?”
Dean blinked and suddenly he was in the office. Cas was standing in front of him. Dean wiggled his fingers, he seemed to have control over his body again.
“Dean, beloved?” Cas looked scared. Blue eyes tore into him, seeing all of Dean’s cracks but not knowing how to fix them. His husband looked helpless.
Dean opened his mouth to say…something. He wanted to say it was alright, or comfort Cas because that word hurt him too, but it was like Dean was four years old again. The words got stuck in Dean’s throat. He couldn’t speak.
Dean licked his lips and just nodded.
Wordlessly, Cas locked the office door and placed himself just inside Dean’s field of vision, about three steps away.
“Dean, I want you to breath with me.” Cas started calmly. “Can you do that?”
Dean nodded, hands flying up to tug at his hair.
“Okay, beloved, breath in with me for four counts. Ready?” Cas inhaled steady four beats, counting slowly as he went. “Now we’ll hold for seven counts.” Again, Cas counted as Dean held his breath. Dean’s heart pounded anxiously in his chest. His breath hitched as he tried to hold his breath. “And exhale for eight counts.”
Dean bit his lip hard and squeezed his eyes shut against the rising panic. He couldn’t do this now. He didn’t have time for this now. He couldn’t-
“Dean, again, please. Inhale with me, please.” Cas’ voice prodded gently at Dean’s mind, nudging his panic away just a bit.
They repeated the breathing practice multiple times. Dean wasn’t sure exactly how many. Eventually though, his breaths stopped hitching, his hands stopped shaking, and the terrible overwhelming fear had subsided. Still standing across from him, Cas looked relieved, but still worried, underneath all of that was fear. Seeing that fear, Dean hated himself just a little more.
“S-“ the word caught in his throat. Dean cleared it and opened his mouth to try again. “Sorry.” It came out rough, scratchy, but it came out.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Cas took a step closer. “May I hug you?”
“Yeah.” Dean nodded and stepped into his husband’s arms.
He inhaled the scent of home as he burrowed his face into the Cas’ shirt collar. His husband’s arms were wrapped strong and firm around him. The crushing weight on his chest eased and a sigh of relief rushed out of him.
“Can we just stay in here?” Dean mumbled.
“Of course, beloved.” Cas whispered back.
Dean knew that if he asked, Cas would stay in the office with him all night long. Dean would just have to ask and Cas would make the comfiest bed out of the chairs.
“I’m just going to do some more work with these figures or whatever.” Dean gestured vaguely to his desk.
“I can look over some things too, if you need.” Cas, pulled a chair up to sit across from Dean’s desk. “We do some of this stuff for the Gas’N’Sip, and I remember some of it from college.”
Dean sometimes forgot that Cas had gone to college. His husband had been going for a accounting degree, but a semester or so before he was supposed to graduate his best friend had been killed by demons and he was introduced to the monsters of the world. After that Cas had decided revenge was more important than finishing his degree.
He had asked his husband one time if he ever regretted not finishing school to become a hunter. Cas had looked straight into his soul, as he did, and told him it was the best decision of his life.
Sap.
The couple sat in silence while they worked. Dean wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but eventually there was a knock at the door.
Dean froze as Cas got up and unlocked the door. He couldn’t see who it was right away when his husband opened the door, but he heard Sam ask if could come in.
“You’re fine, Sammy.” Dean called from his desk. “Come on in.”
“Hey.” His big little brother greeted sheepishly. His shoulders were hunched to his ears and his puppy dog eyes were on full blast. “I grabbed your pie.”
Sam set the paper plate with a half eaten pie slice on the edge of Dean’s desk. “Thanks, man.” Dean picked at a little crust.
“Uh, Bobby and Ellen kicked the guy out, and I called Jerry just to give him a heads up if that guy makes a call or something. He’s banned too.”
“I’m fine, Sam.” Dean face his brother a small smile. “I just need a minute.”
“Yeah, whatever you need.” Sam floundered, clearly unsure if he should stay.
“Dude, it’s your office too.” Dean rolled his eyes, trying to roll off the awkwardness with them. “Do what you want.”
“I-“ Sam stopped himself. “Yeah, okay. Bobby’s talking with Ellen about pie recipes or something. They’ll all be up to say goodbye. Jo is flirting with Theo.”
“Yeah?” Dean smirked as he flipped a page. “She’d eat him alive.”
“I think he would hold his own.” Cas added.
They sat in silence for a new minutes before there was another knock at the door. Ellen appeared followed by Bobby and Jo.
“I hid a pie in the fridge for you to take home.” Ellen said. Dean, Cas, and Sam stood up to give their goodbye hugs. “I know that little girl of yours would throw a fit if I left town without leaving some pie for her.”
“Thanks, Ellen.” Dean squeezed his eyes shut as Ellen hugged him. He soaked in the motherly love and tried to show her how grateful he was by squeezing her just a bit too hard.
“We love you, boy.” Ellen whispered and Dean had to hold back his tears.
Next Jo slung an arm around him. She laughed when Dean tried to rub his knuckles into her scalp. “Hey, is that Theo guy single?”
“Leave the poor kid alone, Jo.” Dean smirked. “Haven’t you terrorized enough people?”
“If my mom would stop chasing them away with a shotgun, maybe they wouldn’t be so terrorized.” Jo grumbled, but not without a fond look in her eye. “Nice place, by the way, cool sign.
“Thanks.” Dean pulled her into a proper hug before letting her go.
Bobby was next, he didn’t hug Dean. They would see each other tomorrow for Friday dinner. His fatherly figure did clasp his shoulder and gave him a stern look.
“If he ever comes back, I want you to call the police or somebody. You don’t listen to a word he, or any other asshole says. You get me?”
“Yes, Bobby.” Dean nodded.
“We’ll see ya’ll tomorrow.” Bobby nodded at Sam and Cas before leaving with Ellen and Jo.
It took Dean an hour to usher Cas to go back to work. He had calmed down, and had gone to work on a car that had been brought in in need of an new serpentine belt. That task was enough to keep Dean’s mind and hands busy.
The first few minutes all the workers had been walking on glass around him. Then Dean cracked a joke about old people and everyone had lost their tension.
Sam and Dean left the shop at seven, an hour before it was supposed to close. The brothers waved goodbye to Theo, Anna, and Leo who were working the closing shift.
“Hey, we’re okay, right?” Sam asked as they got into the impala. “I mean you aren’t having any second thoughts about…anything?”
“What?” Dean shot a glanced at his brother. “No. Seriously, Sammy, I’m fine. It takes a lot more than some homophobe to wreck what we worked so fucking hard for. I promise, okay?”
“Yeah, I know.” Sam relaxed just a little. The younger brother brought his hand up to run through his hair. “You scared me, I…I’m sor-“
“Sam,” Dean shot his brother the fondest stern look he could, “we’re fine. You don’t got to go apologizing for other people’s shit, especially not Dad’s shit, got it?”
“Yeah, so- yeah.”
“Enough chick flicks.” Dean grumbled and turned the radio up just a bit.
The ride back home was silence aside from the radio. Both brothers were content to watch the South Dakota country side roll by.
“Cas, Emma! We’re home!” Dean announced as they entered the house, toeing off their boots as they went.
“In the dinning room!” Cas called.
Dean and Sam shared a confused look. They made a quick pit stop to put Ellen’s pie in the fridge before making their way to the dinning room.
“Surprise!” Emma cheered as they entered the room.
The table was set with a four plates with a grilled cheese sandwich per plates. Each plate had a bowl of tomato soup and a glass of milk next to it. The saltine crackers were sprawled out in a circle on to a large serving plate to act as a sort of functional center piece.
Most noticeable was the bright smile of the little girl, and the equally bright but also bashful smile of the man, both standing next to the set table.
“What’s this?” Dean asked as Emma came running in for a hug. Dean scooped up his daughter, even though she was almost too big for being held, he hoisted her on his hip.
“We made supper!” Emma declared proudly.
“Oh, yeah?” Dean looked at Cas who smiled. “Am I going to find Ms. Mathews’ reheating directions, or a take out bag in the garbage?”
Sam chuckled as they all sat down.
“No, we made it all from scratch, well the soup it Campbells’.” Cas admitted.
“I was the chef and Papa was my co-chef!” Emma announced as she took a big bite of her grilled cheese.
“Oh, that’s why nothing was burned.” Sam said.
Warm laughter and smiles filled the house. The open windows let in the warm spring air. It was all bright, warm, it was all home.