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His hand hurts. Aaron can feel the bruises forming on it. They are thankfully not colourful enough for anyone, who doesn’t really look, to notice and he had to hide his hands for a few days before, he is practiced at that.
He flinches at the memory of Robert’s bruise. It must look bad by now, he has no clue how Robert will explain that away, but he is good at talking himself out of stuff. That’s why Chrissie still doesn’t know, that’s why he can always talk Aaron into coming back to him. Well, that’s at least part of the reason.
He enters The Woolpack, getting to the almost empty bar to get his pint and wait for Adam, who already texted that he will be late because of a business meeting.
Aaron is still surprised that they have things like business meetings going on in their lives. With a slight twinge in his chest he hopes that Adams are a bit, let’s say, more productive than his.
As he waits, he sees Chrissie entering shortly followed by Robert. She looks around in search for someone, but quickly finds Aaron and is walking, with a bit too much conviction for Aaron’s liking, straight up to him.
Aaron shrinks in fear of what is coming. But he can see Robert silently shaking his head behind her, so it’s probably not about the affair.
“Aaron! You’re here having a drink, while my fiancé is bruised after your boyfriend just hit him?”
Aaron gives her and Robert a startled look, he has no clue what is going on.
Robert clears his throat to get Chrissie’s attention and says, “As I told you before, he wasn’t his boyfriend, Aaron doesn’t even know the guy and he was very apologetic after the guy decked me.”
Aaron just nods along, still trying to piece Robert’s story together.
Victoria comes up behind the bar and asks Robert worried, “What’s that?”
Robert sighs obviously annoyed of having to repeat the story again. Aaron looks at him closer now, he looks tired and the bruise looks bad, Aaron wants to touch it, and he wants to tell him again how sorry he is, not that Robert seems mad at him.
“Me and Chrissie ran into Aaron and some guy he was with yesterday after our date night. And to be honest we all had too much to drink and I might have started arguing with this guy about something or other and he, well, he didn’t take my arguments too well.”
Chrissie harrumphs in distaste. “And I say you should report him!”
Robert roles his eye, “I provoked him and we were all drunk, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. Don’t you agree, Aaron?”
Aaron looks back into Robert’s eyes and his poker face almost slips.
“Yes, honestly you were a real fucker to him, I think anyone would have decked you at that point.” A bit quieter he adds, “But I’m sure he regrets it today.” He flexes his bruised right hand, where it’s hidden under his left hand.
Robert follows the motion with his eyes and Aaron can see the smirk appearing on his face.
“It’s like I said, Chrissie, so calm down, nothing really happened, and don’t you think I look badass with the bruise.”
Aaron can’t help the snort that escapes him.
Chrissie still looks pissed. “You’re all not taking this serious enough! This guy just hit you! And from what I can remember you weren’t very nice to him, but I don’t get how it came to that.”
Victoria cuts in, “Why did you even start arguing with the guy?”
Chrissie suddenly turns her gaze completely towards Robert, “Yes, why exactly were you?”
Robert raises his hands defensively and just wants to explain himself when Aaron cuts in, “Come on, we were all drunk and it’s not like it really matters why Robert riled the guy up, in the end it’s good he did, or would you have wanted me to go home with someone quite so violent?”
Victoria nods and Robert gives him one of their intimate smiles. And Chrissie seems to be placated too, her beeping phone quickly distracting her and with a clipped, “See you later” she is gone.
Aaron leaves Robert in Vic’s tender care to go to the toilet, to have some room to breath and also, maybe to let some cold water run over his bruised knuckles.
A moment later Robert comes in. Aaron gives him a tired look, he doesn’t know why he followed him today, maybe he wants to get their stories straight. He just knows that he doesn’t have the energy for either a fight or a make-out session.
The look Robert gives him is strange, almost concerned, not that that is something that Robert would ever feel, especially towards Aaron.
A small smile tucks on Robert’s lips and he walks towards Aaron getting into his personal space with such ease, that he can’t even think about stepping back.
And whatever Aaron thought he would do, it’s not what Robert is doing now. Robert is taking his bruised hand softly into his own, touching his blue and red knuckles so lightly that it sends shivers over Aaron’s arm. He gently places an icepack on his hand, still holding it with his own.
Aaron’s breath hitches at the sudden cold pressure to his tender flesh, or at least that’s what he tries to tell himself. Because he doesn’t want to think about what this could mean and how hard his heart is hammering in his chest right now and that the hammering for once has nothing to do with angry lust or guilt-ridden fear.
“That should help a bit, I’ll have to take it before I leave the toilet again, it’s meant for my cheek, but since I know how bad you’re at caring for yourself I thought I could lend it to you.”
Robert still smiles his soft smile at Aaron and Aaron feels unusually vulnerable.
His eyes can’t hold Robert’s gaze any longer and wander over to his cheek, to the colourful bruise he left there the night before. He feels the regret again, the regret for doing it and the regret for being in a situation that would make him want to do it.
“How bad is it?” he asks carefully avoiding Robert’s eyes.
“Okay, not much worse than your hand I would guess since you managed to ram it into my cheekbone.” He says it with such lightness, without any blame at all. And Aaron just doesn’t get it, why would someone who gets so mad at him so easily not blame him for something like this.
“Why aren’t you mad?”
Robert turns Aaron’s head with the hand that isn’t still holding his hand so that he has to look him in the eyes.
“Because I know I deserved it, I know… I know I never said it but… I know that this isn’t fair to you and I’ll admit if I were a better man I would just leave you alone, but I’m not a better man, I want you in my life even if it hurts you, so I think the least I can do is allow you to hit me when I deserve to be hit.”
“This is sick! Can’t you see how sick it is that we are involved in something, where you think you deserve to be hit! And where I might even agree! I don’t want to be that guy, I hate that guy! I always have, and I deserve better than that!”
Robert nods, “I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to be with you.”
This is all way too messed up and Aaron struggles with himself, knows that this would be a good moment to leave, to end this, but Robert closes the space between them, before he can decide anything. His lips contradicting his softly spoken words, infusing Aaron with the familiar fire in his stomach and he just stops thinking and presses back against Robert, dropping the icepack and pushing Robert against the sink. Like always they fight for dominance while devouring each other’s mouths, but this time Aaron doesn’t just give in, even if he likes it when Robert is the one pushing him, he can’t let him do it right now, he needs to have at least a bit control over this.
They stay close as they part, breathing in the other’s air.
“I have to go, Lawrence is expecting me.” Robert says breathlessly.
Aaron nods, “I’m meant to help out at the garage today, so I should be going too.”
Neither of them moves, just standing close, both frightened that if they part now, they won’t come back together again.